Excitement and Unpredictability in Gardening/ Life

Posted on August 24, 2026 by hafong

Photo by Atlantic Ambience on Pexels.com

August 21. We are into a bit of heat again. I guess we still have another month of summer. I suppose I should be happy about it. Thirty more days of growing for the gardens. I have enough of the beans though not much of the peas. Who knows if I will have enough tomatoes to eat fresh as well as to sauce. If not, it will be the first time in many years. Last year was the year of no bitter melons. This year I still have 30 of them hanging on the vine in the greenhouse. That’s the excitement and unpredictability of growing food and the weather. It teases and taxes one’s thinking and endurance.

I’ve been doing some thinking and evaluation of how I should go forward next year. I am not getting any younger. How do I want to use my energy? Are my goals the same? One thing that came to mind is that I do not want to start all my seedlings. It takes a long time for peppers and eggplants to germinate and grow into viable seedlings. I would have to seed them in February.

August 24. Talking about excitement and unpredictability, just before we were heading to pick up my father to go to the cemetery on Saturday to visit my mother’s and my grandparents’ graves, I received a text message from my brother that my father was not feeling good. When we got to the house, my brother said that dad complain of shortness of breath and that he can’t move. He called 911. Within minutes a couple of big firemen came stomping into the house followed shortly by the paramedics. My father perked up with a little oxygen. After some minutes we were all headed to ER at St. Paul’s Hospital.

Though my father was seen and treated shortly, he was in ER hallway till this afternoon. It is another bout of pneumonia. It’s only about a month since his last one. I’m evaluating on how much I can handle. I am taking a rest from daily visits this hospital stay. I need some physical and mental rest from all the doctor, ER and hospital visits. I feel as if I am still on duty as a nurse and being responsible for my father’s life and happiness. I am taking a short break from it all for my own health and happiness.

Today I feel lighter, the weight off my shoulders. I noticed for the first time how filthy the downstairs toilet was. It was as if I have waken up from a deep sleep. Instead of avoiding and procrastinating, I gave it a good scrub. Now I am juicing the choke cherries we picked last August. I feel sadness for myself and my family as well. I’m mourning and missing my mother. She held us together. I feel sad that my father cannot step into her shoes just a little bit. Instead, we, the children are doing it as we’ve always had to when she is not available. I am happy though that we could.

Gratitude and Choices

Posted on August 19, 2026 by hafong

Life feels so busy, even in retirement. I can’t say I am bored and have nothing to do. I would love to, though. I am just sitting down for a rest stop before attacking and prepping the turkey for the oven. No, it is not Thanksgiving yet. The turkey has been in the freezer longer than it need be. I thought Monday was a good day to cook it being on the cool side. My retired brain forgot by Monday. Lucky I remembered late yesterday that it was still thawing in the cooler. To be truthful, it was quite thawed.

It’s a bit warmish, 25℃. There’s a cool breeze so hopefully the house won’t get too hot. I am a bit sweaty and limp. Today felt hot. I went in early this morning to get bloodwork from my physical done. I had to wait over an hour. I was thirsty and hungry by the time I got home. My systolic blood pressure was barely over 100. I hadn’t even taken my morning pill yet. It’s not bad news but it reminded me of my disappointment with my doctor’s appointment the other day.

I wished he was more interested, specific and helpful. When I told him that the blood pressure taken by the nurse was high and not accurate. I had just come in after a stressful drive and sat down. It has been low lately. He took my word and did not check my blood pressure himself. He said I could cut back my medication a bit. If it’s ok after a week, I’m good to go. Not that I am complaining. I guess I am. He is nice enough, kind enough but didn’t look very animated. He’s been like that the last few years. I have wondered if he is depressed. I am very low maintenance. Just a yearly checkup for bloodwork and prescription renewal. Not much of a physical check when I don’t have to take off any clothes.

I suppose I should feel grateful that I do have a family doctor. Many don’t. There is a shortage of them so you can’t shop around. I am grateful that I do have knowledge and resources. I am a long retired nurse. I’ve been doing the medical running around the last few years with my mother and now my father. I am getting to know my way around. Sometimes it is very tiring. It’s hard to feel good and secure when there are no resources and choices.

August Loves and Hates

Posted on August 18, 2026 by hafong

Photo by Cherry Ann Gonzales on Pexels.com

The thing I hate about August is it’s fruit fly season. These pesky little flying things are everywhere, dropping into teacups, wineglasses and my sourdough starter. They can get in even when there’s a cover. I have to set up a trap with an apple vinegar and dish soap trap or else they’re going to drive me nuts. I am half way there already with shorter daylight hours. I am noticing my rising moodiness. It’s another thing I hate about August. The fruit and house flies adds to the lot.

Thank God there’s no forest fire smokes this year. I dread it every August but there’s less and less of it every year now. Perhaps there’s no more forests to burn. What a cheerful thought, eh? And perhaps there’s no climate change and Donald Trump is just a figment of our imagination. I better cool and change my thoughts or I’ll think myself into a trash bin. I hate these runaway ugly thoughts of mine. What can I do about it?

What I have learned from experience is that it does not help to talk about it to people. It make me feel worse. I try to keep silent and wrangle some words here instead. Tapping works out the kinks. There’s no judgement. There’s no shoulds. August days when I feel like this, I love my keyboard. I love watching the letters and words march across the screen. It’s my inhale and exhale. These August days, I love having coffee at the mall with my mother’s and now mine friends. I love listening to their stories of how they came to Canada, their hardships and their joys. I love their generosity of showing their appreciation of my company.

I love how the light changes in August. There’s a softening and luminosity about it. The garden looks so beautiful in August lights. And I am happy again despite the shortening of days.

Apple Picking Sunday

Posted on August 16, 2026 by hafong

Walks are thought provoking. The other morning walking home from the mall, the thought of going apple picking popped into my mind. So I went picking apples this morning at Boffins Public Garden where we went forest bathing a few Sundays ago. I found the arbour where the apples grew. There were some low hanging branches still with apples on them. There was enough to fill half a shopping bag.

I wished I could have gotten there a little earlier. The arbour was a perfect spot for a photo shoot. A family with young kids came along shortly after I got there. They stayed and stayed, snapping photos and talking the whole time. I found them very annoying. I am selfish, wanting the place to myself.

After I could not reach any more branches bearing apples, I went in search of the grapes. They are planted along the edible landscape and orchard areas just outside the north gates of the main garden park. The grapevines grow alongside other cold-hardy fruit and berry selections like haskaps, raspberries, rhubarb, and Nanking cherries, positioned near the rows of apple trees. I think it is too late for the grapes, haspkaps, raspberries and cherries. But there were loads of apple trees. I would need a ladder for these though.

It was pretty exciting, finding the orchard walk. I had to chill a bit by the koi pond before heading home.

Falling Off Cliffs

Posted on August 15, 2026 by hafong

It rained last night. The earth is quenched and sated. I am relaxed – for awhile. One never knows what lies ahead. The other day I was a heartbeat away from being in an accident. I was on the way to my father’s house to meet with the palliative care nurse. Everything happened so fast it is hard to described. A car came flying and crashing to a stop in the intersection in front of me. There was a lot of noise, dust and falling parts. Most of it from the car. I saw parts of the passenger side and the front end falling apart in front of my eyes. It was like watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon of the road runner chasing Wile E. Coyote to a cliff.

These days I quite feel like that coyote who’s always the one that falls over the cliff in a cloud of dust. Though I do manage to pick myself up and dust myself off, I don’t quite have the resilience of a phoenix rising from the ashes. I am getting tired of the routine. I want a change up. I need a new repertoire. How to start? How do I get a new program? This is where Google and AI are helpful. Here’s what I found:

To reprogram your mind, use a three-part process: build daily awareness of old habits, use repetition like visualization or affirmations to create new neural pathways, and take aligned action to lock in the change.

I am good at recognizing my need for change. I’m also good at finding resources on how to do it. What I am not great at is following through. I’m an expert at going down the same old streets and falling off cliffs. I have changed all that now, speaking in the affirmative. I am going down different streets that don’t lead to cliffs. I am not creating a cloud of dust and a mountain of ashes. I am risen.

Good House Keeping

Posted on August 13, 2026 by hafong

August 13th. I’m glad it’s a Thursday and not a Friday. I am superstitious. I used to cross my slippers when I go to bed to ward off ghosts. I was plagued by nightly visits then. You have to remember I ‘saw’ them when I was a child. I no longer do but I still sense their prescence and give them due respect.

It’s another grey morning. I made my daily visit to the garden and greenhouse. I did some housekeeping there yesterday. The bitter melon vines were overgrowing into every space possible. They were blocking the sunlight and air flow. It’s hard for me to trim them as I like to hang on to them for more fruit. It was creating a lot of humidity which led to red aphids on the pepper plants. Some of them were on the bitter melon leaves also. I sacrifice the pepper plants that had no fruit on them. I sprayed the others with soapy water. I trimmed off all the affected bitter melon leaves. Thank God they were just on one side.

After a severe pruning of the vines sunlight can get in and there is better air flow. It’s a lesson in letting go and not hanging onto every little things. More could mean less. This morning’s count of bitter melons is 22 big and small. hanI have given away 6 to friends at coffee, 2 to my father and we’ve eaten a few. I shall blanch and freeze some for winter.

I’m applying the ‘pruning’ rule to my closet this morning. What use are my high school grad and bridesmaid dresses hanging in the closet? They are taking up space and gathering dust, not only in the closet but also in my head. Yes, I take pride in that I made them both. Then there’s my mother’s 3 dresses also hanging there. One of them still have the price tag on it. She had not worn it. The original price was $100.00 marked down for $50.00. I was surprised that my mother did this. This was a dress from a long time back. I was happy that my mother valued herself to buy that dress even though she never wore it.

Against well given advice, I did try on my mother’s dresses. It did make giving them up harder. Two fit very nicely. They made me feel beautiful and elegant but where would I wear these dressy dresses to? I decided that they would all be donated. They would make nice gifts for someone. They do not look dated as I had thought.

Art for the Heart

Posted on August 12, 2026 by hafong

August 12th, another day waiting to begin. I am stuck again on how to start. So I am sitting, sipping and trying to tap. I am not expecting a flow of words, ideas or wisdom. It is not the right mindset for success or a beginning. Bruce Lipton would say it is a wrong program. Caroline Myss would say, put your head in the toilet. I don’t want to hear you say that again!

I have learned a few things from reading all those self-help books after all! I don’t want to put my head in the toilet so let me write a new program. Let me tell a new story. It won’t be easy. Old stories are hard to let go/get out of. It requires new thoughts, new eyes and a different voice. I will try to get off my gerbil wheel. It goes nowhere but round and round. And who wants that, eh?

Sunday we got into the truck and made a road trip to see the 2026 Thickwood Hills Studio Trail art tour. Thickwood Hills area is nature’s giant masterpiece of rolling hills, wetlands, small lakes, grassy meadows, and poplar/aspen forests. The art tour consist of 19 stops. We could fit in only 6 stops: #3, #7, #15, #16 and #17. The last stop being the Larks Restaurant in Shell Lake before heading home to Saskatoon.

The art tour was started by Rigmore Clarke 25 years ago. She is the owner of the Forest Raven Studio. She is 90+ old, painting since she was 10 years old in Sweden and is still painting today. Her life and passion is an inspiration to me.

Seasons and Turning Points

Posted on August 11, 2026 by hafong

I’m enjoying a second cup of tea on the deck. It’s my reward to myself this morning. I’ve gotten the sheets and pillow cases out of the dryer. They are folded and put away. It rained a bit overnight, not much because my sweater I left ontop of a bucket outside the greenhouse is still dry. The sky is overcast but the colours of the garden are bright and luminous. How beautiful it all is!

The hot days of summer are gone and so are the days of my youth. I am in the autumn season of my life. I recognize this turning point, this change of direction when things do not go back to the way they were. I do not want to reside in hopelessness. I do not want to feel trapped, with no way forward. I want to feel a bit of peace. I want a slice of heaven, however big or small. I want to make a difference. I want to matter. I want to be heard. My wants are reasonable and getable. Did you know that getable or gettable is a real word?

What are your wants and desires? I am daily distressed about what I read in the two Heathers’ posts. And yet I keep reading. I used to bury my head in the sand but I can no longer hide. Nowadays I need to know what we human beings are capable of, the good and bad. I have to know both sides of the coin. There are still so many beautiful and good things to be grateful for. I will try to count them in the coming days. Right in this moment, I am listening to the birds chirping away to each other. And the sun just came out.

Aiming for a Better Me

Posted on August 10, 2026 by hafong

August 10th morning coming down. Seems like summer made a sudden departure and we are left in the cool. It is grey and cool. I don’t feel an urge to pick up my heels for my morning walk. Instead, I’ll do my walking on the keyboard for awhile. I am making a conscious effort of not being a gerbil on a wheel. I’ll see if I can break some bad habits and become a better happier version of myself.

Beginnings of anything is the hardest part. I’m feeling stuck already. The thing I can/should do is to pay my house insurance. It is due on the 15th. I have a hot pink post it note to remind me. I’ve just taken time to make said payment for the insurance online. It took only minutes. That little initiative led me to change the bed linen and toss it in the laundry. While I was at it, I thought I might as well dust the bedroom. Having done all that, I felt a need to reward myself with a coffee.

On second thought a morning walk would be a better reward. A walk could loosen that stuck feeling, burn some calories and boost my mood. So that was what I did, my daily walk to the mall. While I was there I bought some B.C peaches and a bag of pluots. You may wonder, what the hell are pluots? They are a cross between a plum and an apricot. I haven’t tasted them yet. I’m hoping for delicious.

Now at the end of the day, I am waiting for my supper. I am pleased with my performance. I blanched and froze more beans, harvested some bitter melons, cucumbers, squash and 2 cherry tomatoes. I visited my father to see if he is ok. My sister had reported that he complained of a sleepless night because of his heart palpatations. I took the guy along so we can say we want to harvest the garlic planted in his garden. I do not want him to give him undue attention.

When we got there, I could see he had been out weeding in the front yard. There was clumps of dandelion strewn here and there. I could not find him in the house. When I went to the back door, I could see him standing on the step looking fine and perky. I made no big deal about it. In fact I made no mention of it. I did not ask about his night or his heart. But of course, he had to tell me. I told him I couldn’t sleep either. I reminded him his heart thing was nothing new and if it wasn’t too bad…..

I left it at that. I did not reprimand him or remind him that he said he was not going to go out ever again after he said he fell. He will do what he will do. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t hold him back. I have to be smart, not to waste my energy and lose my temper and mind. On the last drive to ER, I did wonder what would happen if I was to have a heart attack even if the guy was driving.

Too Much of Everything

Posted on August 9, 2026 by hafong

Photo by https://kaboompics.com/ on Pexels.com

August 9th turned out to be a beautiful day. I’ve been marinating myself in Trump news by reading the 2 Heathers’ posts every morning, Heather Cox Richardson and Heather Delaney Reese (It’s a Lovely Life). It’s not good. I’m getting a sense that our world is very malignant. It’s not good but I could not stop reading the Heathers. So I started to listen to positive speakers on Youtube like Bruce Lipton to get a sense that there is still goodness in the world.

I’m up to my eyebrows in fatigue and lethargy. It is hard to feel creative. Depression is a luxury I cannot afford. I have too many beans to process. I have too much clutter to clear. I have too much dust and dirt to clean. I feel too much responsibility for my 95 year old father even though I have 2 siblings to share the care. I just feel too much of everything. It is just too much to sort out. So I am going to pack it in and call it a day. Tomorrow is another new start.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity