Whining and Sighing

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Photo by Puwadon Sang-ngern on Pexels.com

An already hot morning at 10:30 on this day 23 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am on the brink of giving in to the everythings of this world. I haven’t quite fallen in. The sun is unbearably hot with less ozone protection. Researching, I find that Canada’s and the northern regionss ozone have thinned by an average of about 7% since the 1980s. Supposedly the ozone layer is healing. Truth or fake news? Our planet seemed to be heating up every year.

I’ve discovered that cucumber male flowers can become sterile due to heat. My plants in the greenhouse are full of male flowers, more than the female ones. I have pollinated the girls and yet besides the one cucmber we already ate, none came to fruit. So I’m guessing that the males must be shooting blanks. They can recover with cooler weather. If heat can do this to cucumbers, what does it do to us and all living things? Is this not a signal for us to change how we are conducting business on this earth? We can’t eat the greenbacks. Why don’t use them resuscitate this one earth we have?

I probably should stop reading the news. It makes me more melancholic than my natural melancholic self. There’s no fun or use in it. It’s not something I want to bring to the keyboard. I have to pull myself up by the bootstrap, snap out of my old mold, crack the whip and do whatever I have to do. I have to admit that I am a little buried under a little pile of mental overwhelm. Life seems to have no rest stops when you have a 95 year old father. Not complaining. It is what it is. It is not at all the physical thing. He is very low maintenance. It’s the emotional and psychological components that weighs on me.

Enough whining and sighing. Time to get on with the rest of the day. Not sure if my father is being discharged from the hospital today or tomorrow. Will find out soon enough. My brother is there now and he will let me know. Good to have younger siblings. They have more energy and reserve.

Thankful and Hopeful

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It’s a hot July 22 for the 22nd day of the Ultimate Challenge. It’s 28℃ but feels hotter. At least the skies are clear and so is the air. We are fortunate there’s no smoke from forest fires. It’s frightening reading about the wildfires in Ontario. Then there’s the fires in British Columbia. We’re in the middle, hot but no fires and smoke. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed.

My father is doing well in the hospital. The doctor say he might be discharged tomorrow. Much is wrong with our healthcare system but there are good things happening. This admission has transitioned quicker and smoother than his previous ones. It certainly has been much better than the experiences with my mother. Treatments much quicker, different services consulted and followups planned. This is all done for us.

I am thankful for this passage. It gives me hope that people are still working to make the system better. We have to do our part, too and not depend on the government to make the first move. We only have to look toward our southern neighbour. See what their government has done. It’s enough to make me cry. Instead of tears, the song Don’t Cry for Me Argentina popped into my head.

ERS and Honeymoons

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July 21, day 21 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I spent yesterday morning in ER with my father. I got his frantic call at 5:30 in the morning. He was having respiratory distress. The guy and I rushed over. He lived just half a block away. We got to RUH ER in good time despite the construction mess enroute. I wheeled my father in though he protested he could walk. It was a eery experience. The place was empty except for 2 security people. I wondered if I had come to the wrong place.

The whole waiting room was empty. It was as if God had cleared the place for us. The staff ushered us right into the trauma room after obtaining a few vital information. The doctor introduced himself to my father and then to us. Then the team proceeded treatment and tests. He was stablized in a short time and moved to an observation room.

This time around the ER experience felt like a honeymoon. It lasted only till late afternoon. The nurse came in and took off all monitoring gizmo and said my father was going to be moved to a hallway. Someone else need the monitoring more. I followed her as she wheeled my father on the stretcher through hallways packed with people. We finally stopped in a hallway by the pediatric surgery. Patients on stretchers were parked along one side of the hall. No curtains, no oxygen outlets, no bathrooms in sight. Call bells were the silver round things on bedside tables you ding for help.

Lucky that my father seemed to be calmer in the hallway than in the observation room. Maybe he felt better seeing he’s amongst other people. He’s been in these situations a few times in the last 2 years. I dare not to ask too much of the nurses seeing how stressed and busy they were. I, too, have learned to adapt. I do not tell them I am a retired nurse. I just observe and listen. And what I noted is that some of them do not take the time to talk to me properly and completely. I let it all go. I’ve learned that there is nothing to gain and quite alot to lose.

I do wonder how I would fare working in their conditions now. I am happy I am not. This nurse was a nurse but not always a nurse. I was grateful that my father got moved out of the hallway into a private room in the evening. The honeymoon resumes. He is doing much better. Home in a few days.

Seasons of Our Lives

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July 19th and 19th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am still here consistently and persistently. I try to be like Patience and Fortitude, the two marble lion stuatues standing guard outside the New York City Public Library. They sit stalwartly through all the weather. I’m trying to do the same through all the heat and my moods.

Today is a much pleasanter day. There’s a cool breeze flowing through the windows. I did not get much done yesterday. No housework. Just barely managed to cut my hair and showered. The heat was the excuse. I didn’t feel guilty as I gave myself the day to do or not to do as I please. It was my home alone day. The guy went to see his sailing buddies off on their annual week long sail. He decided it was time to let it go though he had organized it over 10 years ago. If anyone wants to buy a sailboat, we have one for sale. It’s almost brand new. He spent a year building it. Sailed only a few times.

My friend and fellow blogger, Kebba, said that a life time is not that long. Even 90 years is really a blink of an eye. She is right. So when you recognize a time to let go of something, let it go. There are many seasons in our lives. Some are longer than others. And if something speaks to you, grab it – for however long it speaks to you. At the beginning of our lives together, it was bicycles for the guy. It was a matter of necessity as well as love. The garage became a repair and build workshop. The yard was full of old bikes and parts. I learned to ride a bike, though not well.

We’ve passed the seasons of bikes. We’ve still have a few idling in the bike shed. One of these days if I get brave…and it grabs me…

First Time for Everything

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A thunderstorm during the night gave me a hope of a cooler day. Like the news these days, it was false. The day is already heating up fiercely. I’m closing windows and blinds and turning on the central furnace fan. I’m staying put, taking it easy and not putting on my bra. Funny how a little piece of cloth can make you feel so much hotter. My boobs actually don’t need it. They are able to stand alone. There’s not much to them to sag. There’s always an up side to a down size. Grateful for every little thing.

I am having a second cup of tea – and a big slice of raisin sourdough. Funny how the heat can kill your appetite and then other times increase it. I had my breakfast not that long ago. I am on my own today. The guy is off to the lake to see his buddies sail off on the Elbow Run for a week without him. This is the first time in over 10 years that it’s happened. It happens. There’s always a first time for everything. There’s a time to stop and a time to start something new. I was never that enthralled that I would go on a 7 day sailing thing. Sheba and I made occasional day trips with him. Sheba loved the water, sailing on it. NOT swimming in it. Her last sail was in August 2019.

Sheba’s last sail

How long ago it all seems. How young we looked then. I am sure we will be saying the same thing in a few years from now. Sheba has been gone for 6 years. My mother almost 2.

I am home alone. The house is dark with all the venetians closed. The house feels amazingly comfortable and cool. I am likewise. I have plans of cleaning house and home. I am moving amazingly slow so I don’t know how much I will get done. Today is a day I am giving myself. I am relaxing, letting go of measurements and goals. What will be, will be on this 18th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

The Heat Keeps On

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Early afternoon on this 17th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is already 30℃. I had wondered how I was going to navigate the morning. It was already hot by 9. I donned a wide brim hat and a long sleeved shirt to keep out the sun. I made a leisurely trek to the community garden. I harvested our first crop of snow peas there. I was amazed at how many there were. Our dedicated watering made the difference.

There’s always more work than I bargain for. It’s hard to ignore the weeds. I did a bit of hoeing before watering. Then I was done – and very sweaty. Lucky there’s baseball diamonds across the street with benches in the shade. After a short rest and drying the sweat with my shirt I started home. I didn’t get too far and came across a saskatoon berry bush/tree. Well I had to stop and pick a few before the heat stopped me. I did get maybe a handful or two. Maybe repeat early tomorrow morning.

Wordless Thursday – Still Wonderful

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I love the wordless days when I just sit and breathe and have my cup of tea. I haven’t sat like this for a very long time. Besides my tea, I have a pot of jasmine, lavender and Italian oregano. I can still hear the birds sing though it’s mostly the magpies and crows. It is still wonderful.

Labour of Love

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I had my sticky rice dumplings made and cooked at the end of yesterday. I can’t say I am ecstatic with success. Quite the contrary. I am rather disappointed with the result after many hours/days of labour. I thought this was my first attempt at it but memory brings up I had made them before with my mother some thirties years ago. It was also in July. It was warm and we were working in my newly renovated kitchen and house. It was a lovely time spending the afternoon with my mother.

Then I had her guidance. Now I’m relying on YouTube. The outcome is not the same. I consulted several videos and recipes. I soaked my rice and peanuts too long. The rice came out too soft and not quite sticky. Not all rice are equal. This one came from the Asian market. It’s too long and thin. The one from SuperStore is short and fat. I like it much better.

I could not gage how much of each ingredient to put in. I undersized. Then there’s the folding of the bamboo leaves. I couldn’t get the hang of it till I was almost finished but they’re wrapped and tied with no leakage. Are they delicious? I can’t tell yet. I tried one for lunch. It was too small to pass judgement on. It could stand to have more of everything in it. Would I try it again? Of course. The process is a labour of love, a creation of art besides making food. It is not fast. It is slow. I couldn’t hurry. It gives me time to meditate. It is a learning curve. I will do better next time.

Making Bamboo Sticky Rice

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I’m having a second cup of tea on this 13th day of July and the Ultimate Blog Challlenge. Good thing it is not Friday, the 13th. I am superstituous. It is a cooler morning. Hallelujah! The last 2 days have been wicked, especially in the evenings. We seldom have the air conditioning on but it couldn’t keep up with the heat. Perhaps cooling via a heat pump isn’t as good as a traditional AC unit. Perhaps there’s a malfunction. Whatever, 27℃ made me cranky and not nice.

I am thankful that we didn’t have any storms here in the city. Other areas in the province suffered storm damages. I am foregoing my walk this morning. Instead, I am starting the next phase of making bamboo sticky rice. I’ve already soaked my rice and peanuts overnight . I’ve fried up the seasoned pork belly and boiled the peanuts. The split mung beans, dried shrimp and mushrooms are soaking. The Chinese sausages will have to be sliced. I have to find the duck eggs. I can’t remember where I stashed them. The frozen bamboo leaves are defrosted. Now, I just have to defrost myself.

I will proceed after I get my head together and a little rest. I’ve read various instructions and watched a few videos. The trick lies in the wrapping and tying. I will wing it and hope for the best. Follow up tomorrow.