Christmas is over.  My table is empty of food but my heart is full.  I have been silent this last while, resting and catching my breath.  It is not just from the holiday season but maybe from my whole life.

Sometimes it is good to be silent and let things be.  Let the dust of life settle on its own.  The picture might be clearer in the end.  But I can see that it’s slightly askew.  No matter.  It is still a pretty picture.  A little touch will straighten it out.  We all need those little touches.  We want those touches, those caresses, hugs and pats on the head.

The mornings are still so cold and dark even though the days are suppose to be getting longer.  In the darkness before I rise, dark thoughts come into my head.  I know they are not real and yet sometimes they drag me down.   I try not to linger in its gloom.  I get up and begin the routine of another day.

My qigong movements do not feel smooth and flowing.  It is difficult to be in the moment with the breath but I do my best anyways.  It is -30 C this morning but I put on my winter gear and head out of the door with Sheba in tow.  The sun is out, the air chilled but no wind.

And now, here I am, a cup of hot chocolate beside me, tap, tapping away.  I have found my voice again.  The darkness is gone and I am bathed in sunlight.  2013 is almost gone.  To welcome the new year, I have put out something new and bright.  It is the tradition of my ancestors.  Let us look forward to happiness and prosperity.  Gong Hey Fat Choy!




Sometimes life sings to me.  This morning I am hearing John Lennon’s So This is Christmas.  I hope it is a good one.  I hope the war is over and there will be no fear.

I am choosing to have a good Christmas – full of good cheer.  Sometimes it is  a matter of intention, no matter where in life we are.  What better time of year than now to reset my intention button, polish up my halo and shine this little light of mine.

At the top of my Intention List I have put Generosity.  I am talking about generosity of gifting through the heart.  I am doing generosity aerobics to exercise and stretch my heart muscles.  They protest at times and I have had to quiet their noises.  It takes practice and practice but it’s well worth the effort.

So this is Christmas.  I am full of gratitude.  Another year is almost over and a new one about to begin.  I wish you all a very peaceful Christmas and may we all have a good year.



I am still struggling with this cold of mine.  It is tiresome now and getting on my nerve!  I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and let it out.  Frustration never works.  It just hampers healing.  Though I resist it, rest is what I need.

I close my eyes and travel back to trying times in the past.  I remember when I struggle the hardest, in my stubborn non-yielding way, things got more difficult.  It is when I finally learn to surrender and open myself to the universe, that life became wondrous and magical again.

Everything is a circle.  What goes up will come down.  There will times of sadness and happiness.  There will be health and illness.  There will be darkness and light.  And this cold, too, shall pass, if I am willing.


My GrandmotherNelson Mandela’s death and all the news coverage brought back the memory of my dear grandmother, for she, too, had been imprisoned by political forces.  She was not in prison for 27 years like him, but still…the hardships, physical and emotional were all there.  And whereas, Mandela taught the inmates to read and write, my grandmother was grateful for learning to read and write her own name in prison.

I can see the irony in that today.  She couldn’t read or write her name even though my grandfather was a learned man, a teacher, a principal of the school. He was too busy with the school and work in the community to teach her.  She was too busy with working in the rice fields and at home to learn until she was in prison.

And as the most educated man  in their village, he was called upon to do many duties – accounting, reading and writing letters, settling disputes, etc.  People did not have much so they paid with what they had, like a chicken, eggs, vegetables from their garden.  Sometimes they cannot pay.  Sometimes he gives them their old clothes, blankets for the winter or rice that was meant for next year’s crops.  He thought the rice was better to be eaten when someone was hungry.  Next year’s crop could wait.

Sometimes one is not honoured by one’s good character nor  works.  He earned envy and enemies.  When the Mao Zedong and the Communist came into power, there was much confusion in China.  My grandfather’s enemies took advantage and accused him of corruption and wrongdoings.  Luckily for him, his friends got wind of the plots for his life and warned him.  He escaped by a hair’s breath, hiding behind some bushes and made his way to Hong Kong.

My grandmother was the unlucky one.  They took her in his place.  I do not know how long she was in prison but they moved her at least once.  My mother was working in the fields as they led my grandmother past.  She dared not look up even to acknowledge her own mother, but kept her eyes cast down, tears flowing.  One wrong move or anything that can be construe as anti-Mao could be dangerous.

My own eyes are clouded by tears as I write this.  My grandmother has been gone since 1969 and yet she still resides close to our hearts.  I can write no more at this time.