A MONTH IN REVIEW

The sun greeted me this morning. No more Groundhog Days! Yipee!

It goes to show that there are beginnings and endings. ‘This, too, shall pass’ is true. I can believe it now and will again and again. I will hug it to my heart for future reference for difficult days ahead.

I’m looking ahead to beautiful days in spring and a hot growing summer. But I’m also looking back at the month of April to see how far I’ve come and what I have learned. Each day is a step forward for me. That is what a challenge and a commitment did for me.

I HAD TO GET UP, DRESS UP AND SHOW UP.

Now, I am reaping my rewards. I have 30 posts, one for each day of the month. It is very satisfying! And it really isn’t THAT difficult. Each day I just put one foot in front of the other. When you make a start, something always follow. It is no rocket science. I sit at the keyboard and the words come – somehow.

And just so comes my doodles. I see the picture in my mind and somehow they come out of my fingertips onto my iPhone screen. How amazing is that! I have to thank my FB friend Janet Riehl for telling me about the doodle apps on smart phones. I’ve been doodling ever since. When I am surrounded by greyness, rain or sleet, I can surround myself with my own light and colours. We can choose and create how we want to live our lives.

Perhaps that is the biggest lesson I have learned in these 30 days of April. I can choose how to be in each and every moment. Some days the choices are harder and fewer but I am still the captain at the helm. I get to steer. Of course the sailing is much easier if I know where I am going. That is another challenge!

SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE IN THE RAIN

Someone must have pushed the replay button on the remote because we are getting the same scenario as yesterday. Yes, it is snowing again. I don’t know why but Richard Harris and strains of McArthur’s Park is playing in my head.

MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain

I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again, oh noooooo

I feel like that cake melting in the rain. Little inconsequential things are like torches under my skin. My icing is melting. I have to breathe to cool the flames. They are spluttering in the wind and rain. Ahhh! They are out and I am saved. I have found the recipe. Wonder Woman faces another day.

ON THE WINGS OF MY HABITS

This morning I woke to snow again. I asked my Sheba if there’s a reason for me to get out of bed. She licked my face and said, ‘Come on! Play with me!’ So how can I say no? I got out of bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth and fixed my bed head.

I put the kettle on and went downstairs to turn on the grow light for my seedlings. It’s all routine now, part of my repertoire. The water is boiled. I fix my lemon water with a tad of honey. I take my medications. I stretch this way and that way, warming up for my qigong routine. Soon my languidness and what’s there to get up for attitude are gone. And I’m into my day.

Snow continues to fall in soft fluffy flakes into the afternoon. That’s how it is sometimes. Into your life some snow must fall. I get my cup of tea and wrap myself in my Hudson’s Bay blanket. What a good time to read a bit of Joan Hammersmith’s The Raw Bold Truth. I’m ready to read it now, though I am not quite ready to face all my own raw truth. Some day, some day I will.

I made plans to take my mother out for coffee in the afternoon. I have my tax return to mail and a prescription to pick up. It will be good for both of us to get out. I have some of my best times with my mother. She is the wisest and strongest woman that I know. I am lucky to be her daughter.

Days can start out on a dreary note. But we can choose how it can go. My day has been great. I am glad that I have developed habits that have enabled me to fly despite the inclement weather. How has your day gone?

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE

What I know for sure this morning is, It’s another Groundhog Day! More clouds and rain. Oh boy, oh joy. Let the day begin.

Much later, what I know for sure is the day has been busy. No idling even on a rainy day. My first impulse is to settle myself with a cup of tea and a blanket in the sun room and read the day away. But no such doing for this girl. What I know for sure is, if I sat down, I will never get up.

So off Sheba and I went, walking in the rain. It was quite pleasant with just a lazy drizzle. We pretended that we were Fred and Ginger, skipping and dancing around the puddles. What fun that was!

Back home, I get busy and made some tomato plants happier by transplanting them into larger individual pots. Now they have room to thrive. It is very soothing lifting the plants out and planting them in the soil again. The glow from the grow lights resets my lazy brain and mind like a pacemaker would a heart. It is a lightbulb moment, as Oprah would say.

Sheba and I has had our second walk of the day – in the rain still. We did not dance this time, but hurried along in the driving rain. My income tax has been completed. Whew, what hard work! That’s what I get after relying on my accountant brother to do it all these years. It is long overdue to account for myself. That I know for sure.

I am just coasting in the evening of the day. Supper is done. The dishes are in the washer. My mind is at ease. What I know for sure is, truths do not set you free. You cannot tell another his truth, for it is not his but yours. I have learned that the hard way. I told someone his/mine truth. I put the truth in front of his face and his back was against the wall. He cursed me and called me a Chinese witch. He wants to squash me like a bug under his shoe.

Now that I have faced my own truth, I will not try to teach another his truth again. Some lessons are HARD and I am grateful to him for teaching me. What I know for sure is, Life sure is dang hard. And I am loving it anyways. What do you know for sure?

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

Sometimes I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. I wake up to the same day over and over. That’s the way it’s been lately. Today is another grey and cool day. It feels damp but no rain or snow – yet.

Wish I could be a wee bit more worldly and talk about more worldly issues like the post, The World is Not Flat. But alas, I can only talk about my every day mundane struggles. I am afraid, dear readers, that it’s all about me. That is all you are going to get – my myopic views of the world as I see it!

How am I seeing my world today? There’s still a lot of the same grey, cool dreariness of yesterday. I push myself to pump up my own adrenalin to head out the door with Sheba for an early morning fast walk. The crisp air helps to propel me forward even though Sheba would rather stop and smell the coffee. Some other morning, Sheba.

There is no point in moping over the weather. It is what it is. I am moving through the day. There are no end of things to do – books to be read and written, seedlings to transplant. My cross-stitch of Jesus is calling me. I’ve been working on it off and on for a few years. It is time to complete unfinished projects.

It is time to put procrastination back on the shelf. There’s a life to be lived and doodles to be doodled. And there is Sheba to be cleaned up after. She has just thrown up on her rug. Grrrrr!

STUCK

Here I am, stuck in cool Greysville. It’s stopped snowing. It’s stopped drizzling. But it is still cold and grey. The dog is restless, barking up an antsy, driving me up a tree. So we play hide and seek and toss the squeaky toy, but enough is enough!

My tax return is almost done. I’ve solved a problem or two. Now what? I’m stiff and cranky as a bear. We’ve had one walk. Best to lay off on another one. Sheba is still limping a bit. All that jumping to catch her squeaky isn’t helping. Oh good, she’s finally had enough.

Is this another version of cabin fever, being stuck? Too many icky problems has stagnated my Qi. It is time to realign myself. Watching Daisy Lee do her routine inspires me. She is so beautiful and fluid with her movements.

Her surroundings remind me of the beach and pool at Escape3Points, an ecolodge in Ghana. The memory of it brings sunshine, warmth and sound of the ocean back to me. I would walk the beach in the mornings and stop at the pool to do my qigong routine. After, if the tide wasn’t coming in, I would sit in the pool and listen to the quiet. Remembering those times now, I feel somewhat free and unstuck.

TRYIN’, CRYIN’ TIMES

I woke up this morning to be greeted by more snow. This was after a day of rain all day on Wednesday. Thursday morning, we discovered large amount of water had leaked in around the skylight in the garage. So a quick call was sent to the roofer’s. The trouble had started since the roof was re-shingled.

Then coming home yesterday afternoon, we see that there are large water muddles in our back alley – a problem we had the city fixed two years ago. It is a bit disheartening to see we got our problem back. Nothing to do but write the city again and send more pictures. If only the neighbours could have done the same instead of digging a ditch to divert their puddles.

I could just cry but it would just add to the puddles. Instead, I check on my bedding plants. I turn on the grow light and bask in its brightness. I see that the peppers, leeks and tomatoes are coming along fabulously. If you look very carefully, you can see the celeriac are germinating. There is one lone geranium, lost among them. I will have a garden and spring and summer will come. The leak and puddles will be gone. I have faith and believe in the divine.

THE RHYTHM OF THE FALLING RAIN

I love the Cascades’ Rhythm of the Falling Rain. When it rains, it would play in my head. The simple melody and words falling, pitter-pattering on my mind, soothing and relaxing me. Yes, it is raining today. The video could have been shot right here. It looks so much like my street it’s a bit eery, but in a good way.

The rain brings with it energies of cleansing and renewal for the new growing season. My seedlings are maturing, pushing their way towards the light. I am growing too. I am reaching for the light, for the higher road. It is not hard to find the way once the darkness is gone. I wonder why I was so lost and what took me so long.

The rain is still falling – pitter, patter. The bread is rising and baking. Soup will be on. Sheba is content surrounded by all her toys. Life is good.

THE WONDER IN ME

I slept in on this 22nd day of April. It felt great just to let go and luxuriate in the warmth of my bed. Sheba felt the same in her own bed.

There is no need to be Wonder Woman 24/7. Missions and disasters can wait. Others will have to rescue themselves. Our office is closed today. We are resting and recuperating. We have to fix our energy leaks.

Still, we got up, dressed up and have shown up – all in good time.

We are not behind. We are exactly where we should be. The turkey soup is back simmering on the stove. The dishes are washed and put away. We have walked on the sunny side of streets, rejoicing in the coming of spring. Surely this time I must be right.

Life is a wonder, n’est pas?

EASTER MONDAY

It is day 21 and Easter Monday. It is late evening. I am catching my breath and sipping ‘Sleepytime’ tea. I hope I won’t fall asleep over the keyboard before I am done!

Easter supper for the family last night was a success. Sheba was so happy and excited with so many people here. She let everyone know, too, jumping and barking with joy. That is how we should be, too – showing our joy. And we did with good food, laughter, conversation, and home movies on YouTube.

My nephew is somewhat of a cook.

And my roommate likes to build bikes of a different sort .

The stress and worries of the day are washed away quickly in the midst of good fellowship. We should do this more often!

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

Month: April 2014