A Certain Kind of Light

Posted on July 7, 2026 by hafong

It’s the 7th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am late coming to the keyboard. Life is busy in this time of my life. My father is almost 95 and every day can be unpredictable. He has congestive heart failure and COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). We spent alot of time at the doctor’s, walk-in clince and ER last year after my mother passed. We were thankful that this year has been much better. Still there are episodes.

Today was a doctor day. We were fortunate that we got an appointment. He has been seen, x-rayed and on medications. He is tough and still interested in life and this world of ours. I think he will be okay. I have accepted that this is what is and that I still have a life to tend to. I will be okay also. It was just a little difficult to manage a wheelchair and doors alone. Lucky for me that there were many friendly hands to help.

After the doctor, we went and renewed our application for wheelchair parking permit for another 3 years. Then it was time for coffee at the mall with our friends. Life is still very good and beautiful. Good friends to have coffee with help. Then there’s my gardens. My front yard is so beautiful. It is hard to described. It is bathed in a certain kind of light in the afternoon. It reminds me of the opening line in the Bee Gees’ To Love Somebody. For all the issues I have with my father, I guess I do love him.

“There’s a light, a certain kind of light, that never shone on me”.

My front yard has been an issue with my neighbour for many years. She objects growing vegetables in the fron yard. She calls my raised beds coffins. She has reported me to the city about my messy yard. The city does not agree with her. Maybe all of this is because she really does not like me. I find that hard to understand because I don’t have a relationship with her. Now in these times I wonder if it is because of the colour of my skin. And I am an immigrant. I feel my yard is breath takingly beautiful in a certain kind of light in the afternoon, weeds and all.

Thunderstorms

Posted on July 6, 2026 by hafong

Another sunny 6 o’clock wakening this morning. It’s a good reason to sing Hallelujah! It looks like it could be another hot day and I don’t know what else. We had a very loud thunderstorm last night. It rumbled, rolled and echoed above the gunfire of the Dillinger movie we were watching. I did not check until it and the movie were over. By then, everything looked wet, peaceful and fresh. No damage in the garden that I could see.

Thunderstorms are unpredictable. The one that missed us a few days ago caused quite a bit of damage at our allotment garden. Hope that the storm missed it last night.

sign at entrance to the allotment
garden

Dear reader, I’ve often arrive here late and not tending to your comments. So sorry. Know that I appreciate you. I’ve been experiencing my own personal thunderstorms since my mother passed almost 2 years ago. I’ve been feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all of life. Now, I have turned the corner. I am finding life very challenging. Peace is hard to come by. But at the same time life is very interesting and beautiful. There’s still so much to learn. It is like the garden, always changing, always growing. I will do the same – change and grow with it.

Lovage, goji berry, egyptian walking
onions, winter garlic on right hand side

No Easy Living

Posted on July 5, 2026 by hafong

I woke up to sun at 6 am this July 5th. The first sunny morning all summber. I smiled and the garden smiled. My artic rose is in bloom and so is a peony. In the greenhouse the bitter melons are coming into fruit. I have 3 little ones nodding their little heads. I’ve tagged them so I can readily find them.

It is heating up and I am sweating from trimming the grass and weeds. I am not finished. I’m taking a break as the string trimmer ran out of string. I will have to wind another spool. I am learning to love this tool as it saves me from labourous digging of all those creeping bellflowers. No matter how deep you dig, they keep coming back. Now I am whacking them out at dirt level.

Yesterday, I went to tackle our community garden plot. I was happy to see that my sister was already there and did the weeding and was ready to water it. Two less jobs for me! I staked the two rows of snow peas with bamboo. That was plenty enough work in the heat. Our plot looks pretty good. So does my brother’s right next to ours. We take turns doing the watering.

It is summer time. I haven’t found it easy living like the song suggests. But then I haven’t found easy living in other seasons either. There’s always work, work and more work. But would I have it any other way? I best mosey along before I talk myself into the blues. The battery is charged up and the spool is threaded for more whipping up grass and weeds. I am also charged up.

The 4th of July and Communism

Posted on July 4, 2026 by hafong

On this 4th of July and the 250th birthday of the United States, I wonder how my American friends and relatives are celebrating this Independence Day. I read the words spoken by Donald J. Trump on this day.

“Yet, as we approach this magnificent anniversary,” he said, “we see our American identity under a renewed attack a generation after we fought and won the Cold War against the menace of communism. There is now a resurgence of the communist menace in our land, including from newcomers to our country who embrace ideas totally opposed to our way of life and our great success.”

It is hard to feel that all lives matter in the States, no matter how many people echo that sentiment. I wonder why this fear of communism by the West here. Where is this fear coming from and for what purpose. Truth and morality are hard to find. So much false news everywhere. I found this definition of communism.

“Communism is a political and economic ideology that advocates for a classless, stateless society based on the public or communal ownership of all property and major industries. It aims to eliminate private ownership entirely, ensuring wealth is distributed among citizens equally or strictly based on individual need. “

To me it sounds like a good thing. By definition, I don’t think there’s any country that has achieved that state. The wealth is certainly not equally distributed in any country. So much poverty and homelessness. I wonder how many shelters and mouths could be fed by the cost of the Iran war.

Enough of wondering the whys and wherefores. I am having a busy day in the garden growing food. I spent a good hour, checking, cleaning and pruning my cabbages and broccoli. I found a few more white cabbage butterfly eggs and two caterpillars. The plants are looking much better with a haircut. There was too much foliage and the leaves were so big. I went on to trim the bed of tomatoes. Now everybody has room to breathe.

It’s hard to stop once I got started in the garden. I went on to harvest some snow peas and haspkap berries. Seeing how big the rhubarb and sprawly the goji berry bush were, I harvested them, too. Now I am sipping on tea made from the goji berry leaves.

There’s more work yet. I better end this post. My next stop is at the community garden to weed, stake up the snow peas and water. I had thought the thunderstorm missed us. I was wrong. No storm right here but our allotment garden got hit. The news is good. It looks recoverable.

Still Here

Posted on July 3, 2026 by hafong

It’s July the third and the third day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am still here. We are having more sunshine today though I still woke up in darkness this morning. Yesterday’s thunderstorm warning came to naught. There’s a 50% of rain for this evening. For now I can bask a little in the sun.

It was hard work this morning washing out white cabbage butterfly eggs off my broccoli and cabbage plants. The whole bed was heavily infested with them though they are under heavy netting. Perhaps we did not do it soon enough. Researching, I found that soapy water can kill the eggs. I will do a daily morning and evening check for them. I did find 2 caterpillars. I feel a bit discouraged with this year’s strange weather, white cabbage butterflies, eggs and caterpillars. My bed of peppers have survived the leafroller caterpillars. But with our cloudy cool weather, they are not big nor robust. Whether they will come to fruit is questionable. Oh the joy of growing food.

It’s 6 pm and no rain yet. There’s a severe thunderstorm warning. We did reached a high of 25℃ today. Anything is possible. Tomorrow is the fourth of July. I wonder what fireworks are coming from our southern U.S. neighbour. This morning I read that a Catholic nun was arrested by ICE while she was walking to attend mass at a church in Texas. Yesterday Major Watson was arrested for calling for Trump’s impeachment. I am heartened that courage and morality are still here. As Heather Delaney says, This is why I still have hope. And you should, too. See you tomorrow.

I Could Just Scream

Posted on July 2, 2026 by hafong

I woke up to another cloudy day with promises of more rain. No rain has manifested yet but there is a warning of a severe thunderstorm. I feel like screaming in the moment but I will reserve it for later. I am bushed from the activities of daily living. I need to reserve my energy to take my father out for an afternoon coffee with our friends at the mall. First breathe and a few minutes of rest. I will come back later and let loose.

So I am back from coffee. Now I can natter about there’s no end of things to do when you decide to grow most of your own food. There’s the planning, the ordering of seeds, the starting of them and nuturing of them into healthy seedlings and planting them into the soil wherever that might be. For us there’s the small greenhouse, 6 raised wicking beds outside plus the conventional garden. Then there’s our city allotment garden which is 25 x 40 feet. We can grow a year’s supply of potatoes, beans, peas, beets and carrots. We haven’t been too successful with corn but we do get a small crop. Then I have a small community garden plot which I share with my sister.

It’s alot of garden. It’s alot of work. There’s the maintenance of watering, weeding, harvesting, and storing. Not only that, you have to cook and eat them. I get tired and cranky. We’ve had weeks and weeks of clouds of rain. I haven’t seen the sun for many a days. I am getting very moody. Today I could just scream and scream. But I didn’t.

I am still grateful for many things. With the rains, I haven’t had to water the gardens. Our rain catchments are all full. We won’t get a large water bill. The electric bill is $0 this month due to our solar panels. And there is a $54 surplus despite all the cloudy days. I had a nice coffee with my father and friends at the mall this afternoon. And this post is written for day 2 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. No scream needed this day.

Everything Still Matters

Posted on June 16, 2026 by hafong

After a couple of sunny days, it’s back to clouds again. I am wary that I won’t get swept under them also. Sometimes it is hard to stand your ground. It’s hard to put on a brave face, never mind pasting on a smile. I’m a born melancholy baby. Maybe I don’t need to pretend but I won’t let it all hang out either.

I’m learning to live with my creeping bellflowers. I just did some minor maintenance in the front yard this morning. Keeping up and on top of things can kill you. I’m looking at the big picture and trying not to focus on every little thing. The leaf rollers are a different matter. Last year it was aphids. I don’t know which is worse. These caterpillars are attacking my pepper plants, chewing them up. I’ve been picking them off and squishing them daily. If I don’t, I might have any pepper plants left. This morning I threw a crop cover over them to see if that would help.

I do have some good news. Two of my bitter melons have a bloom each. The garden is doing well despite our strange weather this year. The lettuce is finished in the greenhouse but I am harvesting the new crop in the raised bed outside. The French Breakfast radishes are a beautiful and delicious addition for our salads. Things are not growing as they used to but they’re still growing and providing food for the table. It’s a reminder for myself to adjust and adapt to what is here as best as I can. And never lose hope and belief that everything still matters.

Everything still matters and even more so than ever. I can’t afford to get distracted by all the corruption that is happening down south by Donald Trump and his merry crew. It bothers me so much because it reminds me of what helplessness feels like. I’ve been in that place a few times in this life. It feels very bad when you know things are not correct but you can’t do anything about it. It is the worst kind of helplessness. Even so, it is the best time and opportunity to put your best foot forward. I have to remember what Lao Tzu said. A journey of a thousand mile starts with a single step.

Sit and Stay

Posted on June 15, 2026 by hafong

They weren’t kidding when they say that life is messy and hard. Please don’t ask me who the they are. I do not know but I do trust them. It is the middle of June. It is sunny and warm after a couple of weeks of cool cloudy and rainy weather. It felt like so many rainy days but the gardens are still very dry. I was surprised by it when I went to water our community garden plot yesterday. I hadn’t planned on weeding since I did it the week before. I had on my good shoes. There were so many weeds. The soil was so dry that I needn’t worry about wrecking them. I charged in, weeded and then watered. The carrot rows were hard to weed as they and the weeds looked the same. I thought I better leave them alone for now.

This morning I tackled the home front and back with the whipper snipper. It took a couple of hours but both the front and back yards look pretty good now. I was merciless with the creeping bellflowers. It’s much easier to whip rather than dig them out.

My head is a bit clearer with the clearing of the yard. Now I need to do the same for inside of the house. I am once again, hopelessly, drowning in paper clutter. I have no will power and no discipline to deal with them in a timely manner. I’m always scrambling and searching for things I need at the last minute. But at least I did something right today. I didn’t panic or scramble. I phoned for help and got it. It was much better than darting off in person in my car. I wasn’t sure I would get help without making an appointment. I was reluctant to phone because of my hearing impairment. I did fine. I dealt with my issue. I’ve gained confidence in my hearing ability.

Now I’m relaxing with a cup of black decaf and some sourdough bread. I need to just breathe and slow down and empty my head. There’s no need to fill it with useless information. The world is a bit mad right now. I don’t have to make sense of what is going on. I don’t have to join the circus. Just sit and stay.

Things I Used to Do

Posted on June 11, 2026 by hafong

I feel as if I’ve lost a lot of my mojos the last couple of years. I remember my mother telling me that at a certain age, she felt a change in the way she felt. With me, the change came with the passing of my mother. So here I am now, a year and 7 months since she’s left. I don’t feel pleasure in the things I used to do. After many years I’ve abandoned #the100dayproject and the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day challenges. There’s not much pleasure in sharing photos either like I used to. I wonder where it all went.

Looking through my photo library, I see that I used to cook and bake frequently. Now it feels like so much work. Stirfry lunches are a rarity. My baking has been only my usual 6 loaves of bread. No muffins or cookies. Lately I’ve made a rhubarb cake and a sourdough loaf. I’m trying to tease the baking pleasure back into me. I think it is working. I’ve started 2 sourdough loaves this morning. One is with raisins. The other is with chia seeds. It is and isn’t alot of work. The thing is once you start something, you have to finish. That’s how I tease myself into getting things done.

Another thing I have to remember is if something grabs me, just go for it if I can. Otherwise the opportunity might not come again. For instance, in 2020, we had lost our fur baby, Sheba in May. It was a huge loss. In our grief, we did what we could to keep busy. We got this idea of building a greenhouse and grabbed onto it. The two spruce trees came down quickly and the greenhouse got built by late fall. I was excited to start planting in March. Loss propelled me into an exciting and meaningful project.

Life is a circle. This spring I didn’t feel too much zest for planting. But because I’m a seasoned gardener, I did it out of habit anyways. It still works even when I’m not enthused. Things do not have to be perfect or as good as before. It’s ok just by putting in an effort. Now I will have to close up shop. It’s getting into evening. I will have to prep my sourdough to chill overnight for baking tomorrow.

Struggling

Posted on June 8, 2026 by hafong

I have been consumed with garden and yard work for the last few days. I’m ready for some rest. The only way to do it is not to step outside because once I do, I get called in so many directions. The work outside is so much easier than the work inside. I’m resisting the calls. Sometimes it is hard when the sun comes out as it has now. I’m tempted to step out to see what is happening. There’s also dark clouds overhead. It is close to lunch time. I better stay and stir up something to eat instead.

I struggled making lunch. It would be easier to slap two sandwiches together. I want to make a better effort since the greenhouse has produced some snow peas. It’s good to make a tasty stirfry using things we grew. So I suffered the pain, chopping up our home grown garlic and onion. I diced some store bought ginger and chopped celery from the Co-op. Our celery are still pretty small. First I fried the garlic, then tossed in the onion and ginger. Next was the pork cut in small pieces. The snow peas and celery came last. It was worth the effort. It was a very tasty meal.

I’m struggling writing this post. I’ve been fighting off sleepiness since after lunch. It’s difficult but I haven’t given in. I know how Donald Trump feels. Lucky I’m a few years younger and probably healthier. That brings up another thing. I am appalled and disgusted at how corrupt he and his merry gang are. Where is their conscience? They look like a bunch of gangsters. What flows in their veins? And talking about being appalled and disgusted, I’ve just became aware of the 2 recent incidences of domestic violence.

The Shreveport shooting on April 19, 2026. 8 children between 3 and 11 were killed. 7 were the gunman’s children, one was his nephew.
April 16, 2026 Justin Fairfax, former Lt. Governor of Virginia shot his wife and then himself.

It’s no wonder I struggle. I read nothing but bad news stories. Are there any good news? Seems like most news are fake. Then there’s the weather. It is just plain unpredictable. After a couple of weeks of heat, it is all over. We are in the cool and cloudy stretch. The sun does come out to tease you now and then. And you never know what to wear. This morning was jacket and glove kind of weather. At least I am not sweating it.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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