Struggling

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

I have been consumed with garden and yard work for the last few days. I’m ready for some rest. The only way to do it is not to step outside because once I do, I get called in so many directions. The work outside is so much easier than the work inside. I’m resisting the calls. Sometimes it is hard when the sun comes out as it has now. I’m tempted to step out to see what is happening. There’s also dark clouds overhead. It is close to lunch time. I better stay and stir up something to eat instead.

I struggled making lunch. It would be easier to slap two sandwiches together. I want to make a better effort since the greenhouse has produced some snow peas. It’s good to make a tasty stirfry using things we grew. So I suffered the pain, chopping up our home grown garlic and onion. I diced some store bought ginger and chopped celery from the Co-op. Our celery are still pretty small. First I fried the garlic, then tossed in the onion and ginger. Next was the pork cut in small pieces. The snow peas and celery came last. It was worth the effort. It was a very tasty meal.

I’m struggling writing this post. I’ve been fighting off sleepiness since after lunch. It’s difficult but I haven’t given in. I know how Donald Trump feels. Lucky I’m a few years younger and probably healthier. That brings up another thing. I am appalled and disgusted at how corrupt he and his merry gang are. Where is their conscience? They look like a bunch of gangsters. What flows in their veins? And talking about being appalled and disgusted, I’ve just became aware of the 2 recent incidences of domestic violence.

  1. The Shreveport shooting on April 19, 2026. 8 children between 3 and 11 were killed. 7 were the gunman’s children, one was his nephew.
  2. April 16, 2026 Justin Fairfax, former Lt. Governor of Virginia shot his wife and then himself.

It’s no wonder I struggle. I read nothing but bad news stories. Are there any good news? Seems like most news are fake. Then there’s the weather. It is just plain unpredictable. After a couple of weeks of heat, it is all over. We are in the cool and cloudy stretch. The sun does come out to tease you now and then. And you never know what to wear. This morning was jacket and glove kind of weather. At least I am not sweating it.

ONCE UPON A TIME

January 20, day 20 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Once in awhile, thoughts of yesteryear would pop up in my head. It seems that I had so much more free time then, even though I was still working. I would remember lounging mornings in the sunroom with my toast and tea, listening to CBC on the radio. They had so many interesting and informative programs. Now I hardly listen anymore. When I do on rare occasions it is all about the pandemics, vaccines and bad news or repeats. I wonder what has happened to our national radio station. I wonder if the government is trying to dumb us up.

I’m trying to smarten myself up. I’m trying not to get my panties get tied up over things that don’t matter a damn. Maybe then, I can recoup some of my lounging time. Right now I’m letting Roomba zoom around in the bedroom picking up dust and lint. Meanwhile, I run a wet mop over the hallway floor and the stairs where Roomba refuses to go. I’m learning to be more efficient, not letting thoughts get in my way, wasting my time. Oops, I just remember there’s nothing for lunch!

Once upon a time, I liked to stir fry but now it seems like so much work, so time consuming. But, alas, I have nothing to pop in the oven except pizza. I’ve done that just the other day. I racked my brains. What can I make? I dug out some frozen ground beef to defrost in the microwave. I brought up some onions and a butternut squash. I can make a beef stew in the Instant Pot. It means work but what can I do? I have to stop those It’s work thoughts. Instead I should look at it’s building more neurons in my brain. It’s good for me. My brain is racing ahead and my fingers are tapping like mad. I have to take a break to breathe slow.

My break is over. I can’t say that I’m feeling any better. I just poked myself in the eye. I did have a headache but it is replaced by my sore eye. Funny how these things happen. The other day I was showing my friend this special eye ointment for dry eye. It was still on the dining room table. Maybe that was an invitation for my accident. It is teaching me to put things away, back in their places. I hope I have learned a lesson.

At any rate, lunch is cooking away in the Instant Pot. It was a bit of a chore washing and chopping up the veggies. I threw in onions, celery, a small butternut squash and 1/2 cup dried Swedish beans. I guess you can call it a stew or chili. I don’t have a recipe for it. I use what I feel like and have. For spices, I added pepper, a couple of star anise, some cilantro seeds, cayenne and a bit of soy sauce. Ok, it is Chinese stew/chili. I am sure it will be good. I look like I paint – intuitively.

My eye is feeling better. Once upon a time, I would have freaked out with anxiety. Once upon a time I would have trashed myself. Why am I so stupid? Why did I do this or that? And why didn’t I……Now I know better. It was an accident. I was feeling tired. I had a headache. I wasn’t alert. There was no fault. I could blame the weather. It has warmed up quite a bit from yesterday. Such sudden changes affect me negatively. I can’t control the weather but I can schedule more lounging times.