Seasons and Turning Points

Posted on August 11, 2026 by hafong

I’m enjoying a second cup of tea on the deck. It’s my reward to myself this morning. I’ve gotten the sheets and pillow cases out of the dryer. They are folded and put away. It rained a bit overnight, not much because my sweater I left ontop of a bucket outside the greenhouse is still dry. The sky is overcast but the colours of the garden are bright and luminous. How beautiful it all is!

The hot days of summer are gone and so are the days of my youth. I am in the autumn season of my life. I recognize this turning point, this change of direction when things do not go back to the way they were. I do not want to reside in hopelessness. I do not want to feel trapped, with no way forward. I want to feel a bit of peace. I want a slice of heaven, however big or small. I want to make a difference. I want to matter. I want to be heard. My wants are reasonable and getable. Did you know that getable or gettable is a real word?

What are your wants and desires? I am daily distressed about what I read in the two Heathers’ posts. And yet I keep reading. I used to bury my head in the sand but I can no longer hide. Nowadays I need to know what we human beings are capable of, the good and bad. I have to know both sides of the coin. There are still so many beautiful and good things to be grateful for. I will try to count them in the coming days. Right in this moment, I am listening to the birds chirping away to each other. And the sun just came out.

Whining and Sighing

Posted on July 23, 2026 by hafong

Photo by Puwadon Sang-ngern on Pexels.com

An already hot morning at 10:30 on this day 23 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am on the brink of giving in to the everythings of this world. I haven’t quite fallen in. The sun is unbearably hot with less ozone protection. Researching, I find that Canada’s and the northern regionss ozone have thinned by an average of about 7% since the 1980s. Supposedly the ozone layer is healing. Truth or fake news? Our planet seemed to be heating up every year.

I’ve discovered that cucumber male flowers can become sterile due to heat. My plants in the greenhouse are full of male flowers, more than the female ones. I have pollinated the girls and yet besides the one cucmber we already ate, none came to fruit. So I’m guessing that the males must be shooting blanks. They can recover with cooler weather. If heat can do this to cucumbers, what does it do to us and all living things? Is this not a signal for us to change how we are conducting business on this earth? We can’t eat the greenbacks. Why don’t use them resuscitate this one earth we have?

I probably should stop reading the news. It makes me more melancholic than my natural melancholic self. There’s no fun or use in it. It’s not something I want to bring to the keyboard. I have to pull myself up by the bootstrap, snap out of my old mold, crack the whip and do whatever I have to do. I have to admit that I am a little buried under a little pile of mental overwhelm. Life seems to have no rest stops when you have a 95 year old father. Not complaining. It is what it is. It is not at all the physical thing. He is very low maintenance. It’s the emotional and psychological components that weighs on me.

Enough whining and sighing. Time to get on with the rest of the day. Not sure if my father is being discharged from the hospital today or tomorrow. Will find out soon enough. My brother is there now and he will let me know. Good to have younger siblings. They have more energy and reserve.

Struggling

Posted on June 8, 2026 by hafong

I have been consumed with garden and yard work for the last few days. I’m ready for some rest. The only way to do it is not to step outside because once I do, I get called in so many directions. The work outside is so much easier than the work inside. I’m resisting the calls. Sometimes it is hard when the sun comes out as it has now. I’m tempted to step out to see what is happening. There’s also dark clouds overhead. It is close to lunch time. I better stay and stir up something to eat instead.

I struggled making lunch. It would be easier to slap two sandwiches together. I want to make a better effort since the greenhouse has produced some snow peas. It’s good to make a tasty stirfry using things we grew. So I suffered the pain, chopping up our home grown garlic and onion. I diced some store bought ginger and chopped celery from the Co-op. Our celery are still pretty small. First I fried the garlic, then tossed in the onion and ginger. Next was the pork cut in small pieces. The snow peas and celery came last. It was worth the effort. It was a very tasty meal.

I’m struggling writing this post. I’ve been fighting off sleepiness since after lunch. It’s difficult but I haven’t given in. I know how Donald Trump feels. Lucky I’m a few years younger and probably healthier. That brings up another thing. I am appalled and disgusted at how corrupt he and his merry gang are. Where is their conscience? They look like a bunch of gangsters. What flows in their veins? And talking about being appalled and disgusted, I’ve just became aware of the 2 recent incidences of domestic violence.

The Shreveport shooting on April 19, 2026. 8 children between 3 and 11 were killed. 7 were the gunman’s children, one was his nephew.
April 16, 2026 Justin Fairfax, former Lt. Governor of Virginia shot his wife and then himself.

It’s no wonder I struggle. I read nothing but bad news stories. Are there any good news? Seems like most news are fake. Then there’s the weather. It is just plain unpredictable. After a couple of weeks of heat, it is all over. We are in the cool and cloudy stretch. The sun does come out to tease you now and then. And you never know what to wear. This morning was jacket and glove kind of weather. At least I am not sweating it.

It’s a Difficult Life

Posted on March 10, 2026 by hafong

Nowadays I like to start my morning reading the two Heathers. They are strong women. They speak the truth. They educate me to care, to listen and that I can make a difference. I’ve become politically interested and engaged. The Heathers are Heather Cox Richardson and Heather Delaney Reese. I’m always a truth seeker and speaker. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I find life difficult. Another one is I am a woman of colour and an immigrant. Though I come from a culture where sons are preferred over daughters, my parents weren’t of that mind. My paternal grandmother was though.

She had no influence over how I felt about myself. I grew up feeling I am a person of worth. I’ve never thought I was less because I am female or because I am an Asian. I come from strong stock. My maternal grandfather escaped the clutches of Mao but not my grandmother. She was thrown in jail in his place. She survived and thrived. They had done nothing wrong. My grandfather was a teacher and mayor of their village. My grandmother was a housewife. They were not landowners. They were persecuted because of jealousy and fake stories. That’s been many years ago. Both of them have been gone for many years but their story still lives in me.

It is the 10th of March. We had snow overnight. The sun is shining bright. The thermometer dips and rises unpredictably. One day is spring. The next it is winter. My cold is better but the cough lingers. I feel better and worse at the same time. I am sickened by Donald Trump and his wars. I wonder what all the bombing and destruction are doing to the environment. In this moment, I have no positive bone in my body. It is a difficult life but I must rise and take charge of this one precious one that I have. What will I do? A little this, a little that. It all adds up. What will you do?

TOO MUCH

Posted on March 19, 2013 by hafong

We are 35 days into Lent. Winter is still with us. And the world is too much with me. And so here I sit, tapping out the anxieties that I feel.

I feel my heart racing. Is it the caffeine or is it all the bad news I’m seeing? I do not understand all these violence we have for each other. Somewhere in the world, a bomb kills 20 people. I see the blood on the ground. It is the same almost every night…broadcasts of more fighting, more killing. A woman is raped and killed by a gang of men. A woman is killed by her lover. We are all horrified but it goes on and on.

I turn off the television. But can I turn off the images and my feelings? And so I talk with my fingers, trying to soothe my heart and soul with the written word. I make no noise in the night. All is quiet except for the rhythm of my keyboard. My heart is slowing down. I am catching my breath. I am doing my best. I am not fighting my feelings but letting them flow out with my breath. Tomorrow is another day.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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