Tag Archives: the weather

Everything Still Matters

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After a couple of sunny days, it’s back to clouds again. I am wary that I won’t get swept under them also. Sometimes it is hard to stand your ground. It’s hard to put on a brave face, never mind pasting on a smile. I’m a born melancholy baby. Maybe I don’t need to pretend but I won’t let it all hang out either.

I’m learning to live with my creeping bellflowers. I just did some minor maintenance in the front yard this morning. Keeping up and on top of things can kill you. I’m looking at the big picture and trying not to focus on every little thing. The leaf rollers are a different matter. Last year it was aphids. I don’t know which is worse. These caterpillars are attacking my pepper plants, chewing them up. I’ve been picking them off and squishing them daily. If I don’t, I might have any pepper plants left. This morning I threw a crop cover over them to see if that would help.

I do have some good news. Two of my bitter melons have a bloom each. The garden is doing well despite our strange weather this year. The lettuce is finished in the greenhouse but I am harvesting the new crop in the raised bed outside. The French Breakfast radishes are a beautiful and delicious addition for our salads. Things are not growing as they used to but they’re still growing and providing food for the table. It’s a reminder for myself to adjust and adapt to what is here as best as I can. And never lose hope and belief that everything still matters.

Everything still matters and even more so than ever. I can’t afford to get distracted by all the corruption that is happening down south by Donald Trump and his merry crew. It bothers me so much because it reminds me of what helplessness feels like. I’ve been in that place a few times in this life. It feels very bad when you know things are not correct but you can’t do anything about it. It is the worst kind of helplessness. Even so, it is the best time and opportunity to put your best foot forward. I have to remember what Lao Tzu said. A journey of a thousand mile starts with a single step.

Struggling

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I have been consumed with garden and yard work for the last few days. I’m ready for some rest. The only way to do it is not to step outside because once I do, I get called in so many directions. The work outside is so much easier than the work inside. I’m resisting the calls. Sometimes it is hard when the sun comes out as it has now. I’m tempted to step out to see what is happening. There’s also dark clouds overhead. It is close to lunch time. I better stay and stir up something to eat instead.

I struggled making lunch. It would be easier to slap two sandwiches together. I want to make a better effort since the greenhouse has produced some snow peas. It’s good to make a tasty stirfry using things we grew. So I suffered the pain, chopping up our home grown garlic and onion. I diced some store bought ginger and chopped celery from the Co-op. Our celery are still pretty small. First I fried the garlic, then tossed in the onion and ginger. Next was the pork cut in small pieces. The snow peas and celery came last. It was worth the effort. It was a very tasty meal.

I’m struggling writing this post. I’ve been fighting off sleepiness since after lunch. It’s difficult but I haven’t given in. I know how Donald Trump feels. Lucky I’m a few years younger and probably healthier. That brings up another thing. I am appalled and disgusted at how corrupt he and his merry gang are. Where is their conscience? They look like a bunch of gangsters. What flows in their veins? And talking about being appalled and disgusted, I’ve just became aware of the 2 recent incidences of domestic violence.

  1. The Shreveport shooting on April 19, 2026. 8 children between 3 and 11 were killed. 7 were the gunman’s children, one was his nephew.
  2. April 16, 2026 Justin Fairfax, former Lt. Governor of Virginia shot his wife and then himself.

It’s no wonder I struggle. I read nothing but bad news stories. Are there any good news? Seems like most news are fake. Then there’s the weather. It is just plain unpredictable. After a couple of weeks of heat, it is all over. We are in the cool and cloudy stretch. The sun does come out to tease you now and then. And you never know what to wear. This morning was jacket and glove kind of weather. At least I am not sweating it.

A Glimmer and a Cup

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A cloudy May 7th morning and clouds expected for most of the day. At least it is a bit warmer. Things are not greening up fast indoors or out. My instinct not to rush with gardening was correct. I wonder how long. these up and down weather patterns of cool and heat will continue. It very much fits in with our present world political climate. I continue to read the two Heathers every morning. I continued to feel distress with their news. Most of all I am flabbergasted by the corruption and it is all right out in the open. And it is still happening, getting worse day by day.

I have been feeling distressed and flabbergasted by so many things now. I have grown and matured some to handle life better. I am not letting life overwhelmed me. I am not rendered helpless, angry and reactive. Instead I try to stay calm and respond. It’s taken a long time but it is possible to learn different and better ways of being. All my old triggers are still there. They still react but at the same instant I feel my brain clicking, blocking them and coming up with a better response. Our brain is an amazing organ. I love it.

The sun is struggling, trying to get through the clouds. I appreciate whatever light, no matter how small it may be, that can get through. A little can go a long ways in lighting my way through the dark. I need just a glimmer to start the day. That and a cup of tea.

A Surprising Thing

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This morning was difficult for me to navigate. You could say I was feeling the lowest ever. No positivity any where near the horizon. The weather had turned cold. Snow was falling from a grey sky. I had a morning dental appointment. Iran and Donald Trump still heavy on my mind. Unresolved and undissolved disappointment with another human being. I have yet to learn acceptance of others as they are. I was a glum and unapproachable person.

It’s another morning. It is colder. The sun is pale, peaking through a grey sky. We’ve had a little more snow. The greenhouse has dipped into minus temperatures again. The greens I have seeded a few days ago won’t be germinating any time soon. Meanwhile, our world is just as dangerous, a push button away from never returning. There is a reason why buttons are dangerous, not only to toddlers but to kings and presidents as well.

I am, however, not as glum as I thought. It was a surprising thing for me to discover that yesterday. I can bounce back. It happened at the dentist’s office. What it took was just a change of scenery, getting into the car and into traffic and arriving at my destination. I had to interact with the receptionist, then the hygienist and dentist. All that disrupted my thoughts and feelings. I had to stop that in order to deal with what’s at hand. Such a simple thing, eh?

It is not that simple, of course, but it is a springboard into better thinking and moods. It stopped my rumination and regurgitation of the same old, same old. I have to keep working at it. It is not a one time fix. I have this habit of falling into the same hole. Don’t we all? So don’t sit with it. Move, move, and move some more.

Self-Talk, I Can, I Can

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I’m struggling still. It’s a physical thing, related to the weather. I am sure of it. Yesterday we had a high of +4C. Looks like it’s going to be the same today. I am sure many are happy with the mild temperatures. I am not. I feel droopy and crappy. I can’t change the weather so I’m carrying on in my default mode. There’s nothing else I can do.

It’s too bad that I haven’t built up a strong default system. Perhaps if I don’t want to set goals and resolutions, I can learn to make lists. Today I have no urgent must-do’s. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my bank person. I can look up my finances and see where I am at before the meeting. I should respect my money more and pay attention. I have an appointment with my gynecologist in February and my dentist in March. I can write them on the calendar so I won’t forget.

I haven’t been strong at all in following through with anything. Hence I am at my keyboard still surrounded with alot of paper clutter. This is not a good time to say I will change. That would be just a waste of energy. But it is a good time to remember that I had one success in following through. I have finished my queen sized log cabin quilt just before Christmas when it felt like an impossibility. It’s a big confidence builder. I can. I can.

It’s a good note to end on for this lucky 13th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Maybe I can do it again tomorrow.

Giving a Damn

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This is a very difficult summer. Am I repeating myself? Should I stop now? It is so true though. No two days are the same. It’s rare to have a stretch of nice steady weather. After a couple hot scorching days, today the sky is grey and heavy. I am waiting for the clouds to drop their load. I am heavy and slow with their weight. It is hard to move and feel upbeat. I am working hard to string the words together for a post for day 10 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

I wonder how everyone else is feeling and doing. Does anyone else feel that this is a very strange year? The world seemed to have changed overnight. It does not feel safe or sane. I don’t know what or how to do. I just carry on as best as I know how. I hope I am not just going with the flow but making some difference for the better, no matter how small. It is easy to be complacent, not give a damn. But we really should give a damn.

That’s a good reason to keep showing up and tapping out the words. Many times it is just to make myself feel better. Some times I do glean some wisdom for my efforts. It makes me happy then. Right now I am just talking, trying to ease myself out of this heaviness. I feel like a ton of bricks, like a pregnant elephant. I hope I don’t look like I feel. I changed into an oversized black top just to be sure. We’re going out for supper.

Why I keep writing

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Here I am again at my keyboard, still tapping, looking for words, thoughts, wisdom. I’m not 100% successful being present. I do my best, always feeling better for my efforts. That is the reason I keep coming back and coming back. I know a good thing by the way I feel. It’s hard to be 100%. Don’t we know it! Even when they predict 100% chance of rain, it doesn’t happen. So I don’t give myself a hard time when I lapse. I get back as soon as I can.

I enjoy the feel of the keys beneath my fingertips. I like watching the letters march across the screen. I’m euphoric when the thoughts and words fly and flow from my fingertips as if writing themselves. Long deep sighs of contentment escape from me. Life feels beautiful then, no matter the weather outside. I’m in my own garden of Eden then.

The weather app says it is drizzling but not here yet.There’s 85% chance of rain at 12 noon, in 15 minutes. We shall see. The sky is grey. I’m feeling good. Been to the gym though didn’t work out that hard but something is better than nothing, right?

It is evening now. It did not rain at noon but we did some lightning, thunder and rain in late,late afternoon. It was glorious. I quite enjoyed it all. The sky was very dark. I had to turn on the lights in the sunroom to read. I felt very safe and cosy, curled up with a book. One must read to write.

Last Day

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It’s the last day of May and what have I to show? Not alot but I thought I should show up and wrap up the month of May. It is hard to be cheerful and optimistic when the world is a fire hazard. The other day our premier declared a state of emergency after Manitoba declares provincewide state of emergency over wildfires. Yesterday our sky was grey. There was no sun. The air was acrid with smoke. The air quality index was 11. Today the sun came through but so did the smoke. The air qulaity index right at the moment is 9 which is worse than same time last night. I hope it’s not the trend for the summer.

I’m hoping for rain. We’ve only had 2 rains this year. We’re lucky we have many rain catchments. It helps to water the greenhouse, fill the raised beds and water the garden. When life gets hard, I resort to turning on the city water. It’s easier and faster. I know we won’t have enough water in our catchments. I’m being smart, saving my energy on days when I don’t have any. We are so dry this year, the elm trees are putting out tons of seeds. It was windy yesterday, creating a windfall of elm seeds. It looked like a snow storm. There’s piles of it everywhere.

What else can I say about May? Oh, yes, my goal was to use May to develope better habits. And I have! Isn’t that wonderful? I’ve read Atomic Habits before. What I used from it was to keep things easy and simple. B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits is the real game changer for me. It has the same principles but much more. I don’t know how to go into the specifics now. Maybe I can in June. James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits actually took the Tiny Habits course before writing his book. That goes to show how good it is.

I think this is enough chatter for now. It is getting late. Keeping it short and simple, good night.

PERSPECTIVES

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January 26. The Ultimate Blog Challenge.

It’s a bit disconcerting to wake up to above 0 temperature in January.

January 27. The Ultimate Blog Challenge.

As you can see, I was too challenged to write much of anything yesterday. It is a different day altogether today. For one thing the weather has turned colder. The highs will be in the minus double digits for the next week. That is if things go along as predicted. I am focused on the weather for a good reason. I am sensitive to its changes. I find it helpful to write about it. I, then, will have a written record of how and when it casts its spell over me. It will aid me in adjusting and making changes to live a more easeful life.

I had difficulty sleeping the night before probably due to the change of above warm temperature turning cold overnight. I probably had about 4-5 hours of sleep. I was tired, feeling unwell and unfocused all day. I could do most activities of daily living but thinking and writing – forget that. It was impossible. I felt other worldly, detached and not myself. It could be that I am making excuses for my shortcomings. But it is illuminating how much lack of sleep can affect me. And to think that I was sleep deprived during most of my working life as a nurse. Scary thought, though. I hope I was a good nurse making sharp correct observations and decisions.

January 28. The Ultimate Blog Challenge.

It’s a Saturday morning coming down, waking up to -25℃. Holy cow! Two mornings ago, it was above 0. It’s no wonder I had a troubled sleep. Here I go again with the weather, eh. I went to bed sleepy but as soon as I hit the mattress, sleep escaped me. I became restless and tense. My throat dried up, my sinus dripped and I started coughing. It was no way to be. I got up, used my Nasonex, took a tylenol and willed myself to relax and hopeful to sleep. Eventually I did – for a short period until nature called. It took another long period before I got back to sleep.

I do not feel too bad this morning for lack of sleep. Instead of tired, I’m a bit wired. It’s not good energy to write anything profound but it’s good just to record things as they are. I’m annoyed that I have to go through these phases. So much time is wasted. Maybe it is what I need – this time to process, recalculate and reset. Sometimes I have to come to a standstill and look at things from a different perspective. It is only in the quiet and stillness that my body and soul can find their way back to ease. It is just there near that dip in the road and over the horizon. I am so close.

MONDAY GROANER TIME

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I thought it best I try my best to stay with my self scheduled writing time on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Good habits build good days and a life well lived. I’m as sleepy as can be. It would feel so good to cuddle up with my little quilt and have a sleep. Talking about quilt, my log cabin block building has been at a standstill for quite a spell. Life, the garden and yard happened. I couldn’t do it all. Some things have to give. Summer and the growing season is only so long. The sewing got put on the back burner. To be resumed later. I hope I will remember to hit that button later.

It’s a cloudy, breezy and cool day. It tries to rain and pour off and on. You can say it’s a typical 2022 June day – unpredictable and changeable from minute to minute. I’m trying to roll with it all. It’s giving my moods and body a good workout. I should remember to take a tylenol morning and bedtime to keep me physically supple. It’s the new lube for old achy bodies. This weather and garden and yard work are taxing on the joints and bones. I was not happy or moving well in the morning exercise class. The sluggishness, aches and grumpiness were all trying to get the best of me. I prevailed though, beating them back. I’m getting good at faking it till I make it. How do you do it?

I can’t believe it is 5:30 already. Where did the day go. It’s rolling away faster than the end of the toilet roll. I’m calling it quits now. Going to have another cuppa. Talk to you on Wednesday.