Monday

MY EVERY DAY BATTLE

It’s a grey cool Monday. I’m feeling the weather again. I’m sipping on a cup of decaf while contemplating what would be my best moves. I hate letting the weather get the better of me. But it might not be a bad idea to just take it easy for the rest of the day. I’ve already stormed out after breakfast and did a whole pile of work before 10. I planted the last 4 squashes between the haskap berries in the backyard and the rest of the celery in the squash bed. Yes, I got a little crazy with the squashes this year. I’m sure I’ve planted 30 for ourselves. Then there’s the giveaways. I will take an inventory of plants and produce in the fall for better planting next spring. It’s what I keep saying. Now I will have to do it.

I am feeling better for having started this tapping out. I sure felt like hell when I came in from the garden. I’ve done some work in the greenhouse, too. It’s nice and warm there, out of the cold and wind – a good place to clean up the pots and trays. I can put them up on the rock wall to dry. I am trying to have a better handle and not let them scatter all over the place. It’s hard to develop good work habits. So easy to just drop things drop wherever they are. But then there’s the hard part later picking them up.

Well, so much for taking it easy. We’ve had lunch and the dishes done. I find the cleaning up part the hardest. My mood drops and my energy deserts me. I have to talk myself through each step. It happens most days. You would think I could overcome this by now. No, I have to battle it every day but I do win every time. I’ve gone out again to the greenhouse to finish cleaning all the little pots and plant trays. The lettuce there are past their prime. It was hard but I’ve pulled them and planted 2 eggplants in their spot. I tend to wait and hang on to things too long, even lettuce. Well, no more of that!

It seems my keyboard is my best tool for working things/my moods out. It doesn’t give me any back talk either. I can talk myself out with no criticism. Sometimes I just need to put it out here on the page, sounding myself out. If I pay attention, I can hear/see wherein my problems and solutions lie. It’s worth it to make the effort of showing up on my self scheduled days.

WEATHERING THE BUMPS

It’s another Covid Monday. It was a cool -3℃ grey morning. The greenhouse held up very well overnight. The low was 3.4℃ at 7:03 am. The furnace was not called to action. Though no sun was in the forecast, it showed up just now at 2:45 pm. The greenhouse is now a lovely 20.5℃. It is 1℃ above presently. I think we have weathered all the bumps. We still have a couple of cold nights ahead but we have a little electric furnace and thermostat on standby. It will kick in at 1℃. A little less guess work and worry from here on in. Hallelujah!

Being Monday morning, it was my online class on Mussolini at 9:30. I did not forget today. It’s good that they send a reminder the day before. I had forgotten one time but I did catch the last half. If I am not mindful, all the days start to look and feel the same. Now at least Monday is class day. I should designate different things to each week day. Sunday is our sourdough pancake breakfast morning. It would help to keep my memory sharper.

I’m still on top of my flow. It’s only my 3rd day but I have to give myself a pat on the back for not dropping the ball yet. It helps if I don’t work on any one thing too long. I don’t get over focused and tired. I can easily move onto another thing. I’ve been surprising myself with how much I can accomplished in short spurts. I’m not wasting so much time thinking. I just do. I haven’t finished my quilt block for today yet but it’s more than half done.

It’s Tuesday evening. I did drop the ball after all. I always have things to do so I have to prioritize and choose. I’m back to finish and close up. I’ve been busy transplanting my cabbage and kohlrabi seedlings. They germinate easily and before I know it, they were very leggy. But they’re all tucked away now in their new little paper pots, ready to go out to the greenhouse tomorrow. It’s going to be another frosty night again, down to -6℃. I have more transplanting waiting for me. I better get some R & R now. Tomorrow is another day.

MONDAY – ANTIDOTES FOR A CLOUDY DAY

The day feels wintry without the sun. I am glad that I had my online class on Mussolini to focus on this morning. It is a cloudy day and the world is full of troubles. It would be easy to fall into the rabbit hole but I think it is already occupied. It seems like we have a resident rabbit in the yard. We’ve seen numerous tracks in the snow over the winter. We had 2 sightings of it yesterday, dashing across the garden in the morning. In the afternoon it was sitting by the pile of woodchips, perfectly still and pretty as you please.

It came to attention when I was taking its picture. The ears perked up and the head turned towards me. I thought it was rather plump so must have had a good winter. Then someone pointed out it could be a she and pregnant. If so, I wonder where the babies would be. On googling I find that rabbits make shallow holes under the ground to make a nest for birthing. I shall have to keep an eye out for bunnies in the yard.

A cool cloudy day calls for comfort food. A stew from a left over beef roast is the perfect answer. A few celery stick, carrots and potatoes thrown in the Instant Pot during the class break and dinner was ready before noon. The sun did make a showing as the day pass. It took awhile for the greenhouse to heat up. It was 4.7℃ there at 7:19 am. Outside it was -4℃. Now it is 4:30 in the afternoon. The sun is still out and it is 7℃. The greenhouse is 25℃. I did not open any vents today. wanting to keep the heat in for the night. I took pleasure standing in its heat and light to brighten my day. Today I needed a little extra help. The Buddhas are sitting on guard outside, waiting patiently for the first showing of garlic.

MONDAY, MONDAY

Monday morning coming down. May 11th, the calendar pages are advancing. The sun is out shining bright. My day has started. Breakfast over and done with. I’ve shaped my sourdough loaves. They are chilling in the fridge. They can chill up to 24 hours. The longer they stay, the tastier and more stable they get. That is what they say. Maybe I will wait to bake them tomorrow morning and test out the theory.

My Sheba and I are growing old together. She has a little more white than I do. Her hips are worse off, too, giving her trouble these last couple of weeks. I try not to feel too bad or sad when I see her stumble. She still loves her walks and able to go up and down the deck stairs. There’s a few more things I can do to help her like doing range of motion on her hips. She’s content to let me massage and brush her, even on her backend. She is already on fish oils and glucosamine. I will try to wean a little weight off her. It will be a task as she loves food. I’m adding a little ground flax to her food and see if that will help. I hear that cumin is a good anti inflammatory. We will check with the vet.

Mornings are my best time. It is late afternoon. My mood and energy are sagging and dragging the floor. It is impossible to work on the hard stuff when I’m feeling thus. Bad habits are hard to break but I did get the kohlrabi and broccoli seedlings transplanted. They were beyond leggy and flopping over. Gardening has not been easy this year. I keep plodding along. I will be glad for my persistence and efforts come harvest time. I think of the reward to keep myself moving along.

Excuse my monotone. I’m struggling to finish this post. I find myself struggling with everything. I just have to take life in smaller bites and swallows these days. You wonder why I bother with my mutterings. Sometimes I wonder, too. But I’m the better for showing up here. It gives me order to my day. The rhythm of the keys tapping calms and soothes me. It gives me purpose. It records my moods, problems and helps me find workable solutions. It keeps me sane.