Tag Archives: move

One Day at a Time

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Last night was one of those nights that sleep was elusive and impossible. Though I was not restless, I was not restful either. I tried not to waste energy stressing to get to sleep. Instead I relaxed into problem solving. How can I declutter and restore order to my life? How can I unclog the kitchen sink without calling the plumber? How to move forward with my father after he gets out of the hospital?

The end result was not much sleep and not much resolutions. I called the plumber. The kitchen sink is free flowing again. I caught up with bill payments. No movement on clutter and order. I do feel better. Non functioning plumbing can cause so much distress. I will tackle the fridge next. I have alot of turkey left. Then I added a roasted chicken from yesterday’s trip to Costco. It was such a good buy. How could I resist? I was so tired from yesterday’s Costco expedition and unloading everything. That’s when I discovered the backing up kitchen sink in the basement. Cleaning and trying to unclog it did me in. How could I feel like cooking after that? So now there’s also leftover from last night supper out.

Funny how fast things pile up one on top of each other in 2 years. I admit my best wasn’t up to speed since my mother passed almost 2 years ago. I feel I am up to my eyeballs in confusion and neglect. I do not know how to get with it and where to get with it. I guess I will just dig in first with the fridge. I will freeze some of the turkey and chicken. Then there’s the question of room in the freezer. One thing leads to another. I will get to somewhere one day at a time, one thing at a time. It’s time to stop with the excuses and get moving again. I can free flow now like the kitchen sink.

A Surprising Thing

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This morning was difficult for me to navigate. You could say I was feeling the lowest ever. No positivity any where near the horizon. The weather had turned cold. Snow was falling from a grey sky. I had a morning dental appointment. Iran and Donald Trump still heavy on my mind. Unresolved and undissolved disappointment with another human being. I have yet to learn acceptance of others as they are. I was a glum and unapproachable person.

It’s another morning. It is colder. The sun is pale, peaking through a grey sky. We’ve had a little more snow. The greenhouse has dipped into minus temperatures again. The greens I have seeded a few days ago won’t be germinating any time soon. Meanwhile, our world is just as dangerous, a push button away from never returning. There is a reason why buttons are dangerous, not only to toddlers but to kings and presidents as well.

I am, however, not as glum as I thought. It was a surprising thing for me to discover that yesterday. I can bounce back. It happened at the dentist’s office. What it took was just a change of scenery, getting into the car and into traffic and arriving at my destination. I had to interact with the receptionist, then the hygienist and dentist. All that disrupted my thoughts and feelings. I had to stop that in order to deal with what’s at hand. Such a simple thing, eh?

It is not that simple, of course, but it is a springboard into better thinking and moods. It stopped my rumination and regurgitation of the same old, same old. I have to keep working at it. It is not a one time fix. I have this habit of falling into the same hole. Don’t we all? So don’t sit with it. Move, move, and move some more.

TEDIUM – Day 43 in a year of …

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IMG_6978The truth is life can be tedious, painfully so sometimes – like today.  There’s nothing to be done but to bear it.  I’m afraid I can’t grin.  It is entirely my own fault, having slept too much when we were in the woods.  It was so delicious, curled up in the soft fluffy comforter.  But when you sleep 9 – 10 hours each night for a couple of nights, it catches up with you.  You guess it.  I had a restless, not much sleep last night.

IMG_4658I’m paying for it today – feeling not quite kosher, achy, limbs heavy like cement.  Sheba does not understand ‘tired’.  When it is time for her walk, she barks and barks.  I have to get up.  I have to make the effort.  We go around the block.  She does her business.  She’s happy and we’re home.

I’m doing my business, too.  I’m moving one foot in front of the other.  I’m doing one thing at a time.  I disregard how I feel and move, however fast I can managed it.  At the end of the day, I can say:  I am not behind.  I’m right where I should be.  Some days even when everything in my body hurts and I’m as tired as all get out, it still feel good to move.  I guess you call it rising and answering the call.

I’m happy I’m still making it here.  Till tomorrow.