It is strange how books find their way to me. It is as if they know that they hold the knowledge I’m seeking. You know I’m a serious girl. I’m always pondering about the universe and the meaning of life. I wonder about what is love and hope. Are they verbs or nouns? Can you hold them in your hands and examine their nature? If they’re verbs, how do you go about loving and hoping? Would you get anywheres hoping and loving? Or is it just pining away?
I know I think too much. It would be good if I could lighten up and just live and be happy. Maybe I should heed one reader’s advice and ‘start filling a jar with notes of things you are happy for‘. And what would a gratitude list do? Don’t I have to do some other stuff besides? Is it not like Facebook’s rhetoric? If you believe this, if you are my friend, etc. etc. copy and paste. What does copy and paste accomplish besides that and getting a whole bunch of people copying and pasting?
I know, all I am doing is asking more questions. I offer no answers. Putting the questions out there is valuable. They’re food for thought, stimulous. Wait, what about the books? you ask. Yes, the books. They’re the two latest ones I’ve read. Strange that they both landed on me at the same time. Both contained the answers I needed. The first one was Home by Toni Morrison. The second is Mercy by Jodi Picoult. Strange, how some books get ratings. I loved both books but Mercy got a lot of bad ratings. Perhaps the subject of mercy killing and a cheating husband doesn’t sit well with female readers. It sat very well with me. Made me look at love and forgiveness from many sides. Both book made me feel hopeful again. They’re both fiction but you know what they say about truth and fiction.
It’s another glorious morning. The sun is shining bright. The petunias are in their full bloom – the blues, purples and lilacs waving in the sunlight. Not wanting to be over-shadowed, the roses are strutting their stuff.
Sheba is out sniffing and chewing grass, while the man of the house is cranking up his bicycle to help set up the Bike Valet for The Taste of Saskatchewan, July 15- 20th. Looks like some time for me to write, dabble and talk to my tomato plants. Hurry up, grow!
I am sitting here tap, tapping on my new Mac. I am happy with its speed and slickness. No more heavy sighs and gnashing of teeth – for now anyways. My desk is a little neater, having to do some rearranging to accommodate my new Mac and my old PC. But it is by no means perfect. I’m showing the good part. The mess is lurking in the corner.
I am now a lot older and just a little wiser. But I am still fooled at times, buying into the perfection of everything. We have/want warranties and insurance for almost everything we own. You can’t insure life though you can buy life insurance. They are not the same. Life can indeed crash just like my MacBook. I could only watch it sizzle and burn. But there is hope after a crash.
What you do then, is pick your yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. You re-start from where you are. Do not wait till it is perfect and you have all your ducks in a row. The only ducks lined up in a row are those at the fair. They’re waiting to be shot down. Real ducks glide and splash around but they are not synchronized swimmers. They get out of line.
That is what I have learned after all these years of self doubt and running back to third base time after time. I have to take a chance, take a breath, not looking backwards, run and slide into home base. After the dust settles and I pick myself up, I might see the ump signalling, “SAFE”! with his arms.
Today is Canada’s birthday. The sun is out and so are the mosquitoes. Life does have its bite. I wouldn’t want it any other way, would you? So cheers! Let us celebrate – to Canada and life with all its flavours.
This month brings with it new challenges for me – the Ultimate Blog Challenge and NaBloPoMo for July. I feel up to the challenges as I have been habitually tapping out words almost every day. .
I am reluctant to call myself a writer but words are my passion. They come to me unwittingly, when I least expect them and when I most need them. Other times I struggle to find them. They always come eventually. I just have to have the discipline to put my fingers on the keyboard and start.
BlogHer is celebrating its 10th year anniversary, therefore the theme for the month is DECADE. I like to take this opportunity to look back over my last 10 years or further – to take stock and see where I have been and to decide where I want to go. It is probably not easy. Most likely it will be painful to do it honestly.
I know from experience that I can never go home again for that ‘home’ (China) is not the village or country that I once knew. I can no longer read nor speak the language with any fluency. So am I really Chinese? Finding and feeling ‘home’ again is another challenge.
There’s a lot of work ahead, a lot of material and memories to sift through. It is worth the effort. I am looking for Hafong. I am searching for me. I am up for the challenge. I am going to type my heart out. How about you? Will you join me?