A PAIN IN THE NOSE

Posted on April 4, 2022 by hafong

The days are marching along. The temperature is rising. I had to open some windows in the house. The temperature in the greenhouse was 36.4℃ with 3 vents opened at 12:45. We had to open another. Now it is 26.5℃. I feel a little pressured. There’s so much to do. I’m thinking of the boxes of seeds sitting on the dining room table. I have to stay on my program plus a little more to get things done. I am sweating it. I will have that glass of wine with supper.

I am reacting to the crazy weather. Can you believe it went up to 16℃ today? My nose is throbbing like crazy. I had surgery on it years ago because I had a cyst growing into the bone. I know it sounds far fetched. It has caused me much angst even years after its removal. The first time I had it drained. I was too impatient to wait for surgery and the procedure sounded scary. I looked unsightly with a bump sticking out the side of my nose. I had a trip booked. I didn’t want to tour Australia with a bumpy nose. It was a quick fix but it came back seven years later. The second time I had surgery to remove it. The plastic surgeon made an incision under my gum line, peeled my lip back, cut and scraped the cyst off.

Being ‘just a bump on the nose’, I never got much sympathy or understanding. I had no visible scar. But the pain was constant and gnawing, long after my surgery. I never believed the pain was real myself either until I couldn’t handle it any more. At the appointment with my surgeon, he looked at me kind of weird when I told him I still had a lot of pain. Then he held up his thumb and said that the cyst was the size of his thumb, meaning it was BIG. He wrote me a prescription and told me where to to press on the side of my nose to ease the pain. It would have helped if he had explained things more and better post-op. All that I was told was the cyst had grown into my nasal bone. Nothing about the recovery or what to expect.

No matter. I have survived and am thriving. I worked things out over the years. Pain does that to you. It pokes and prods you to find solutions and remedies. It does not let you to stay in the same old, same old. That’s what it’s doing now. So I took a plain tylenol and am sipping on a glass of wine. I have to chill, relax and pamper myself a little. Just to let you know, my pain has much improved over the years. It acts up a little with weather changes. I also have arthritic pain on my left side from scrunching my face, clenching my jaw and tensing my muscles with the pain. I’ve been working on not doing that so life has much improved. Yay!

This post is a painful write. Hope it is not a painful read. It was not my intended write but I got sidetrack. So ends this 4th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

HAPPY FOR NO REASON

Posted on April 3, 2022 by hafong

I’m happy for no reason on this 3rd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. A good night’s sleep and a walk in the park always help. It is a warm sunny day – +10℃ outside and 27.9℃ in the greenhouse with 3 vents opened. The greens are doing very well. So are the 3 Red Alert Tomatoes and the 2 cucumbers. I’m looking forward to happy gardening and fresh salad greens. Maybe there will be a tomato or two at the end of May. Cross my fingers and toes.

Talking about feet, my left heel pain is gone. It’s a good reason to be happy. I’ve had that pain for months, if not for a year. It doesn’t hurt all the time but I sure feel it when I get up from sitting or laying. I would hobble around for it a bit before it would ease. I’ve been doing heel stretches for weeks at a stretch with no result. I’ve lived with this pain for so long that it’s part of me. I hadn’t noticed the exact moment it left. I am sure it was the functional exercise class Friday that did it. It’s such a good class, seemingly easy and simple with no heavy breathing or sweating. This is the set of exercises. We did it for 8 minutes or so.

leaning hands on wall for support at an angle, lift heels up 20 times
then leaning with back on wall at an angle, lift toes up 20 times
walk a straight line on toes x 10 steps then walk backwards on toes
walk a straight line on heels x 10 steps then walk backwards on heels

I hope my happiness lasts or is a frequent visitor. My get-with-the-program is going well. I am on my 50th day of #the100dayproject. I’m drawing/painting my memories and history. I am learning and understanding more of myself and life. How’s that for killing a few birds with a pen/pencil and a paint brush?

I think this is enough for today. I have to admit that I am a little distracted and frazzled with my projects. I have to save some time and quiet for myself. I lost on Wordle today. It’s a good thing we can play only once a day. Otherwise, I might not get here having this conversation.

THE CHALLENGES OF APRIL

Posted on April 1, 2022 by hafong

It’s April Fools’ Day, an annual custom of practical jokes and hoaxes. According to Wikipedia, mass media can be involved in these pranks. I don’t think we are in need of any more pranks and hoaxes. We’ve had 2 years and probably more of pranks, hoaxes and conspiracy theories. Enough is enough. I am not a lover of pranks or light hearted stuff. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt me to lighten up a little though.

Today is also the first day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve neglected my writing space since the last challenge. I’ve been warming up the last few days to get back in shape. However, I don’t feel in great shape at the moment. I will give it my best shot though. I’ve been doing this challenge for quite a few years now. I enjoy writing/tapping. It’s my therapy of choice. I come to my keyboard and have a conversation/workout with myself. After I have unload, laid it all out on the page, I feel better. I can see clearer if I have a problem. It’s just good to get it out and not harbour the stress in my body.

Though I share freely here, it is not a confessional booth. I do have discretion, good taste and judgement. I do not reveal any secrets, sins or crimes – mine or other people’s. I share thoughts, feelings of every day life. I don’t have big stuff. My life is full of mostly little things that bring big joy and a sense of accomplishment and worth to me. I share my gardening experience and my other hobbies. We built a passive solar greenhouse last year. This spring is our 2nd year. I will be sharing alot about that. Last year I started planting tomatoes and cucumbers on March 9th. I lost a few but most survived. I’m not such an early bird this year.

I’ve just finished a watercolour art class. I’m presently embarked on #the100dayproject. I’m doing a sketch/watercolour a day. I will be sharing some of that also. This reminds me I have another challenge – April Love created by Susannah Conway. I have my work cut out for me. None of this is a must. I have taken them up. I want to have a serious go at each and every one. Oh, yes, I forgot one other challenge – Tax Return. And that is a must.

WRAPPING IT UP

Posted on January 31, 2022 by hafong

January 31, day 31 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I don’t know what the fig happened. I was awol (absent without official leave) for a few days – January 28, 29 and 30. I didn’t mean to. Really, I didn’t but my days got shorter. I ran out of time. I ran out of energy and I never had a plan for those kinds of days. But I am showing up to wrap up the month and the challenge. I will have a beginning, a middle and an ending to the month and challenge.

Did I fulfill my goals for this month and the challenge? The answer is yes and no. I did not show up every single day. I did not worked through the whole Unravel Your Year workbook. I looked back on most of 2021 but not ahead to 2022. I am not much of a planner. It shows up in different areas of my life. Maybe it’s something I should work on, eh? If I had a plan B, maybe I could have shown up here every single day. No use crying over spilt milk. I didn’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

I’ve come back over and over. I have done the best I could. Life is about flexibility. It’s a little of this and a bit of that. It’s a potpourri of successes, failures, boredom, elation, stumbles, falls and everything that is possible and imaginable. I am very happy that we have the UBC platform wherein I can do my mumbling, stuttering and sharing. It’s a great place to meet others from different parts of the world and in different walks and stages of life.

I’ve taken on more than I can bite for this January. Besides the UBC, I have a weekly online adult learning course from our university. The subject is on the goddesses of India. There are no examines but the subject is very new to me. I have also signed up for an in-person watercolour class. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It still is but it’s 2½ hours every Saturday for 8 weeks. Learning something new is very exhausting – for me. After the class, I’m no good for anything cerebral. I ski to unwind. Then I am done for the rest of the day. I have 3 classes under my belt now. I’m starting to have a feel for that sweet spot. It is also very easy to fall down and into making mud again. I try not to feel too elated or too downcast. This life is a journey of ups, downs and monotony. They all contribute to the texture of my days.

Today I say farewell to January and the UBC. Much thanks to Paul Taubman our maestro and to all the members of this community. I appreciate all the visits, reads and thoughtful comments. It’s been a fun and rewarding month.

WHAT IS YOUR STORY

Posted on January 27, 2022 by hafong

January 27, day 27 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I thought I would get on today’s post early rather than late. It might give my voice a different tone. I’m not always tired and bluesy. If I was a singer, it would be an asset. It would be an honour to be called the Empress of the Blues. But that title belonged to Bessie Smith. She was a renowned blues singer during the Jazz Age. She rose from poverty with a mighty and strong voice. She was killed in an automobile accident at the age of 43 in 1937. Her grave was unmarked until a tombstone was erected on August 7, 1970, paid for by the singer Janis Joplin and Juanita Green, who as a child had done housework for Smith.

Her life is such an interesting story. We each have our own story to tell. They’re equally interesting. It’s in the way of telling and how we feel about our stories. I see stories in pictures. I see pictures in stories. In the same way, I tell my stories – one evokes the other. When I see the photo of our house in China, I remember playing up on the rooftop. I saw my first ghosts there. It wasn’t that I ‘saw’ but rather felt their presence. I remember my mother telling me they’re our ancestors and not to be afraid. I also ‘saw’ someone standing by our bed one evening. It was more of a shadow than anything. At the time I was still sleeping in the same bed as my mother. It was made of boards, covered with quilts. Our pillows were wooden blocks. I don’t remember them being uncomfortable though. Aren’t childhood memories/stories wonderful?

I used to write flash fiction for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Rochelle is a published author of several books and a watercolour artist. For Friday Fictioneers we write a story of 100 words to a photo prompt. It was a good fit and practice for me. I’ve learned to make every word count and to hone out needless, excessive words. We interact with each other much like on the Ultimate Blog Challenge. You read me, I read me. Then we critique each other – in a positive constructive way. The Dentist is one of my flash fictions that still has the photo prompt in the post. I’ve removed the photo prompt in most of the posts to free up room in my media library.

This is the long and short of my post. Not my best but not my worse. It has a beginning, a middle and an ending. Now I’m off to work on my watercolours. What is your story?

A TIME FOR EVERYTHING

Posted on January 26, 2022 by hafong

January 25, day 25 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I got my wish for a replay of yesterday’s beautiful morning. It played beautifully, though in a different way. For one thing, I slept in, more than an hour later than usual. It made up for the other morning when I got up before the chickens. Instead of heading out to the park after breakfast, I got out the mixing bowl. We were down to the last loaf of bread. When the temperature dips down to -29℃, it’s a better idea to bake bread first, then ski in the afternoon. There is a time for everything.

The memory of yesterday’s pleasure was still fresh in my mind and body. I decided that it’s a good way to approach bread making and everything else – as a process to enjoy in a relaxed manner. It worked well for me. The morning was sunny and beautiful. In between risings and proofing, I stretched and sipped tea in the sunroom. Somehow everything got done according to plan – 6 loaves of bread, a pumpkin pie, 3 tarts, cleanup and even lunch. Who could ask for anything more?

I have to say that at the end of the day, I was done in. To be continue…..

January 26, day 26 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m back to continue, to finish, to wrap up. I’m back to say that there’s only so much time in a day and so much a person can do, no matter how efficient or how vital you are. I thought I would have lots of free time today but it had a way of running away. I couldn’t stop it. But I had a short visit with my mother after delivering her groceries. I gave her 2 loaves of my bread and ½ the pumpkin pie. I worry about staying too long since she has only one vaccine. I worry every time I cough. It is my usual sinus problems and dry throat. Still one worries.

I think about not skiing every day to have some time but skiing stops my worrying. It makes me feel better when I’m feeling bad. It keeps me fit and strong, so it is not a good idea. There is time for everything. I just have to redefine what everything is.

WHERE ARE WE AT?

Posted on January 24, 2022 by hafong

January 23, day 23 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I like to think I’m back in the saddle again, ready to take control, ready to get on with everything. I think it might be wishful thinking. It is almost 8 in the evening. I’m feeling a little melancholic, a little despondent. It’s nothing serious. It’s just the evening blues, the end of the day fatigue. I am thinking and that is always a dangerous thing. I’m wondering where we’re at as a society, as a world.

My corner of the world is small here on Preston Avenue. It is a busy street with lots of traffic. I don’t mind it. I’m right in the middle of everything, within short distances of shopping centers and things that are convenient. My street, being a main thoroughfare, is almost always cleared of snow. What it lacks is the warmth of a friendly neighbourhood. Perhaps it is only my perception. I am not surrounded by those who I can share a cheery greeting, a casual cup of coffee/conversation or a small helping hand. I have encountered wrath and ire over boundary lines and yard/garden maintenance differences and preferences. I’ve had an earful of tragic stories and ugly divorces. Not one invite for a friendly cuppa or glass of. But I have invited. I feel the disconnect and loneliness more acutely on this winter Covid evening.

January 24, day 24 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is true what they say about things looking better in the morning. I also decided that I would make it better. I don’t like wallowing and sitting with those low heavy feelings. Instead I used them to move me through the day. I’m ok with slow. It’s faster than not moving at all. We’re early risers, so we were out in the park by 9:30. By then I already had Roomba cleaned up 2 rooms downstairs. The sun had not shown itself yet but the sky was a magnificent palette of soft greys and pinks, followed by the yellow.

I would push the replay button for this morning every morning if I could. I certainly got rebooted. I took the time to relax and enjoy my ski. I finally felt the sweet of the glide. I felt the whole body joy of it. I did took a tumble at the bottom of the hill though. I got up with my skis on after a struggle, but then before I knew what happened, I’m down again. This time I took my skis off to get up. Heck with it. Much easier and my new skis are a snap to put on. I made another run up, around and down the hill without a mishap. It was a good ski with 2 rounds, almost 4 km. Now I’m sitting pretty and content, doing my tap dance on the keyboard. No thinking of where we are or how we got here.

USE WHAT I GOT – STOP IT

Posted on January 22, 2022 by hafong

January 21, day 21 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can’t say that I am one with the Universe though I am feeling better today. No headache and my eye is feeling better. It did caused me a bit of concern yesterday. That happens when you get a jab with a stick because you weren’t paying attention. Good thing I have experience as a nurse and past similar mishaps. I didn’t run off like a jack rabbit for medical attention though that’s what they tell you. I assessed and treated myself first. There was no need for the doctor at the moment. Sometimes I stressed myself more catastrophizing. Then there’s energy and time spent needlessly.

I was surprised at how calm I was. I was remembering all the Bruce Lipton videos I have watched. I have had the habit of accumulating information and material. The trouble is I forget to put them to use until now. It matters not how much smarts a person has if they don’t use any of it. No use just hoarding. In this case, you do lose it if you don’t use it. It is just a habit. I don’t need 50 ways of solving a problem. I can try with one or two first. Start small. Then build on it. I have to remember this one. Use what I got. I already have and know a lot of stuff. I don’t need to search, google, take another course, taken another summit of how to. I don’t have to buy more sewing and art supplies. I already have binfuls. I think it’s my way of procrastinating and avoidance. Like Caroline Myss would say, STOP IT.

January 22, day 22 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am living my words. I can’t do everything. I am doing small. But I am not throwing out the baby with the bath water. I am still here, tapping away. I haven’t shown up every day. I haven’t posted every day, but I am still posting. I am still working on and participating. I am tired for sure. I had a 2½ hour watercolour art class this morning from 10-12:30. Painting is supposed to be therapeutic and relaxing. It is not at all when you are learning a new medium. I am, instead, tensed and exhausted like a wound up spinning top. It’s good to sit, sip and tap to loosen my muscles.

I would have loved a ski today. However, I am too tired. It is good that I can stop and not push myself. On the other hand I did buy more paints. It was on the advice of my instructor and the store had everything on sale at 25% off. Sooo…I’m being wise and flexible.

ONCE UPON A TIME

Posted on January 20, 2022 by hafong

January 20, day 20 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Once in awhile, thoughts of yesteryear would pop up in my head. It seems that I had so much more free time then, even though I was still working. I would remember lounging mornings in the sunroom with my toast and tea, listening to CBC on the radio. They had so many interesting and informative programs. Now I hardly listen anymore. When I do on rare occasions it is all about the pandemics, vaccines and bad news or repeats. I wonder what has happened to our national radio station. I wonder if the government is trying to dumb us up.

I’m trying to smarten myself up. I’m trying not to get my panties get tied up over things that don’t matter a damn. Maybe then, I can recoup some of my lounging time. Right now I’m letting Roomba zoom around in the bedroom picking up dust and lint. Meanwhile, I run a wet mop over the hallway floor and the stairs where Roomba refuses to go. I’m learning to be more efficient, not letting thoughts get in my way, wasting my time. Oops, I just remember there’s nothing for lunch!

Once upon a time, I liked to stir fry but now it seems like so much work, so time consuming. But, alas, I have nothing to pop in the oven except pizza. I’ve done that just the other day. I racked my brains. What can I make? I dug out some frozen ground beef to defrost in the microwave. I brought up some onions and a butternut squash. I can make a beef stew in the Instant Pot. It means work but what can I do? I have to stop those It’s work thoughts. Instead I should look at it’s building more neurons in my brain. It’s good for me. My brain is racing ahead and my fingers are tapping like mad. I have to take a break to breathe slow.

My break is over. I can’t say that I’m feeling any better. I just poked myself in the eye. I did have a headache but it is replaced by my sore eye. Funny how these things happen. The other day I was showing my friend this special eye ointment for dry eye. It was still on the dining room table. Maybe that was an invitation for my accident. It is teaching me to put things away, back in their places. I hope I have learned a lesson.

At any rate, lunch is cooking away in the Instant Pot. It was a bit of a chore washing and chopping up the veggies. I threw in onions, celery, a small butternut squash and 1/2 cup dried Swedish beans. I guess you can call it a stew or chili. I don’t have a recipe for it. I use what I feel like and have. For spices, I added pepper, a couple of star anise, some cilantro seeds, cayenne and a bit of soy sauce. Ok, it is Chinese stew/chili. I am sure it will be good. I look like I paint – intuitively.

My eye is feeling better. Once upon a time, I would have freaked out with anxiety. Once upon a time I would have trashed myself. Why am I so stupid? Why did I do this or that? And why didn’t I……Now I know better. It was an accident. I was feeling tired. I had a headache. I wasn’t alert. There was no fault. I could blame the weather. It has warmed up quite a bit from yesterday. Such sudden changes affect me negatively. I can’t control the weather but I can schedule more lounging times.

CHANGE OF PACE

Posted on January 19, 2022 by hafong

January 19, day 19 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve missed day 17 and 18. That’s how the days have crumbled. Sometimes I can’t do everything. Sometimes I don’t want to do everything. A change is as good as a rest. I hope it can bring me a fresh outlook and some good ideas. I was feeling a bit staid and tired but not overwhelmed. Truth to be told, I am not enjoying writing and the Challenge as much these days. Perhaps I am challenged out.

So I cut myself some slack and gave myself some time away from the keyboard. Why not, eh? I have no business or service to promote. I write for pleasure and therapy. If it is no longer either one, a rest is needed. I am hard pressed to find time to sit and read these days. It was pure pleasure not to worry about writing a post these last couple of days. It wasn’t easy at first because there’s this voice saying I should live up to my commitment. But my fatigue and the book Beach Blonde spoke louder. Now the book is read and I am feeling so much better and rested.

We are back in the deep freeze for the next couple of days. It’s another reason for my well being. I am brighter with more pep and vinegar on cold sunny days. Strange but true. Maybe I got used to very frigid temperatures from having had a very high energy Lab Border Collie mix. We went out to the dog park in all kinds of weather. We were more regular than the mailman. I no longer have her to run with in the snow. Cross country skiing is now my substitute.

I don’t like to miss any days. Today is no exception. Even with an extreme cold weather warning, I was out in the park. I warmed up doing 2 laps in the South Park where I am more comfortable. Then I moved over to the North Park with those troublesome slopes. Today I did good. Being so cold the tracks were not fast. I had lots of control downing the slopes. No skyrocketing into space was possible. No falling and splatting. No hugging the snow. I am getting over my fear and getting my confidence back. The exercise was invigorating. It did me and my disposition a world of good.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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