January 21, day 21 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can’t say that I am one with the Universe though I am feeling better today. No headache and my eye is feeling better. It did caused me a bit of concern yesterday. That happens when you get a jab with a stick because you weren’t paying attention. Good thing I have experience as a nurse and past similar mishaps. I didn’t run off like a jack rabbit for medical attention though that’s what they tell you. I assessed and treated myself first. There was no need for the doctor at the moment. Sometimes I stressed myself more catastrophizing. Then there’s energy and time spent needlessly.
I was surprised at how calm I was. I was remembering all the Bruce Lipton videos I have watched. I have had the habit of accumulating information and material. The trouble is I forget to put them to use until now. It matters not how much smarts a person has if they don’t use any of it. No use just hoarding. In this case, you do lose it if you don’t use it. It is just a habit. I don’t need 50 ways of solving a problem. I can try with one or two first. Start small. Then build on it. I have to remember this one. Use what I got. I already have and know a lot of stuff. I don’t need to search, google, take another course, taken another summit of how to. I don’t have to buy more sewing and art supplies. I already have binfuls. I think it’s my way of procrastinating and avoidance. Like Caroline Myss would say, STOP IT.
January 22, day 22 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am living my words. I can’t do everything. I am doing small. But I am not throwing out the baby with the bath water. I am still here, tapping away. I haven’t shown up every day. I haven’t posted every day, but I am still posting. I am still working on and participating. I am tired for sure. I had a 2½ hour watercolour art class this morning from 10-12:30. Painting is supposed to be therapeutic and relaxing. It is not at all when you are learning a new medium. I am, instead, tensed and exhausted like a wound up spinning top. It’s good to sit, sip and tap to loosen my muscles.
I would have loved a ski today. However, I am too tired. It is good that I can stop and not push myself. On the other hand I did buy more paints. It was on the advice of my instructor and the store had everything on sale at 25% off. Sooo…I’m being wise and flexible.
You wonder how and why a 17 year old male could open fire at a high school in Sante Fe today. He killed 10 people and injured another 10. You wonder how this could happen so soon after the Florida high school shooting where 17 people were killed. Of course mental health plays into it. But without weapons of mass destruction, there would be less young lives lost. What would it take to stop all this? Some of the answers are quite simple but why are the lawmakers so unwilling?
It’s politics, I know but it’s not something I can understand. I’ve listened and heard all the rhetorics on how all life is sacred, even the unborn fetus. There’s interest groups that abhors abortion and would protest vigorously and violently against it. But what about the lives that are already born?
It’s late, I know for such musings and questions. I’ve just watched the news. No, it is not a good idea to watch it just before bedtime. There’s really no good time to watch such news. But it is a waker upper, making me feel totally bizarre. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US? As Caroline Myss would say, STOP IT. Go put your head in the toilet for 7 minutes. Chill or take a pill. It’s too late for therapy when a 17 or however old person has a gun/guns in his hands.
Sorry, just a bit late night ranting. Trying to find a bit of sanity in a mad, mad world. Sometimes it’s not a bad idea to scream. I’ve done my share. My throat is a bit sore from it all. I will say good night now.
Oy! A ton of snow fell on our fair city overnight. We already had lots on the weekend. Made moving a little more challenging by foot or wheels. More practice for patience and skill. Traffic moved slowly or not at all. It was too early for snow clearing at nine in the morning. Already there were cars spinning their tires when I arrived at the YWCA for my exercise class. I had enough of that years back, I had dumped my Plymouth Acclaim for a Honda CVR with 4 wheel drive. Now I don’t get stuck any more. Still I had to rock it back and forth getting out of the parking lot going home.
If I had been smart, I would have stayed home. But the habit of exercise Monday, Wednesday and Friday got me heading out without thinking today. I guess it’s a good thing even though I wasn’t enthused. Enthusiasm isn’t always necessary. I got the same benefits of moving my body regardless. I have to keep that in mind. I don’t have to force feelings I can’t muster up. Doing the good thing is enough. I’m pooped now having just taken Sheba out for her walk. I have to give it to our citizens. Most of the sidewalks were shovelled. It was tough walking as it was. It would have been a killer if they hadn’t.
Talking about killer, I’ve finished Sue Grafton’s last book, Y is for Yesterday. It is quite dark, leaving me with a bit of ugly feeling. It’s cured my addiction for the alphabet series – for awhile anyways. I might have to read it again for it was confusing to follow. I wonder if Grafton knew it would be her last. It doesn’t read like her previous. It’s lengthy. Was it to sum/tidy up everything? Interesting speculating but I have to shut my mind down. I’m always thinking and asking unanswerable questions. I have to STOP IT. I have to get on with things. I’m rested. My teacup is empty.
I am here. Now what? What shall I talk about? How nothing’s right, but nothing is wrong either? Where do I go now, I who is always at crossroads. At least wherever I go, Sheba is with me. She is pure. No resentments. No grudges. If I give her a tidbit of a treat, it’s as if I had given her a steak. Wouldn’t it be lovely if I/we could be that joyous and thankful, our tails wagging back and forth?
I’m waiting and tapping, waiting and tapping. Which way to go? This way? That way? What to do? This? That? I can hear Carolyn Myss in my head, screaming: Stop it! Stop it! I’m going to listen. I’m stopping it – the wondering and wandering. I’m staying and tapping words, songs and prayers of peace.
May I find courage. May I find strength. May I find the words and wisdom. May I find silence. May I find and give compassion. May I love and be loved. And may I be safe. And may you also have all these things.