Tag Archives: life

DAY 24 UBC – DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE?

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Do We Have a Problem Here?

Saturday night. I’m showered and in my pajamas already. Supper is still stewing in the Instant pot while I’m stewing on the keyboard. There are so many things I could get upset about. And I have been upset but one has to get over it. Or it could kill you. Life is full of quirks. I’m lucky enough to live between 2 women who are not easy to get along with. I wasn’t going to talk about neighbours this month. Then someone posted on Facebook about their fun with neighbours. Now, I just can’t help myself.

I’m really over my ire. I’m in that peaceful valley having come to my senses. There’s just no way that I can get them to see eye to eye with me. Really when 2 or more people are in disagreement, it is difficult to come to a consensus. Each one wants to be right and want the other person to agree with them. That was really a hard lesson for me. I thought I could use reason and explanation to solve our problems. Was I ever wrong. One neighbour would not even allow me to talk. She talked above and over me. After 10 years and when she started to throw rocks at me, I called the police liason for help. It took 2 visits over a year by 2 different officers to obtain some peace. Needless to say, she has mental health issues.

My problem with my other neighbour is not so bad now but it had been. We’ll just leave the past in the past. Now it’s just the light on her garage that she leaves on all night. It’s high and reflects through my bedroom blinds. She has changed it to a warmer hue but still…my sleep and I are disturbed. I could tell that she was not really opened to our suggestions on how to fix it. And rather than getting into a disagreeable disagreement, I took responsibility for my problem. I built a blackout curtain. It took some trying but I do have a fancy expensive Bernina sewing machine.

Now it is all hunky dory. With the blinds and curtain, the bedroom is black. I don’t have to lay in bed awake and cranky, thinking up ways of shooting out the light. I don’t have to get mad every time I see her or if that garage light stays on all night.

DAY 23 UBC – LIFE, WRITING AND CHALLENGES

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Life, Writing and Challenges

It’s another day of the October Ultimate Blog Challenge. Only 8 more days after today. Who’s counting, eh? I’m running late again. I’m busy. It’s not a bad thing. It means I’m living a full throttle life, despite the Covid. Today I made another run to Costco. This time I had no trouble finding my car on the way out. I parked in my usual area, near the disabled section. It’s stressful and exhausting shopping at big-box retailers. You have to run from one end of the warehouse to the other. It’s like being at the airport, searching for the right terminal. I’m hooked along with the rest of the people but at least I’m not a frequent flyer.

Now I’m sitting here frantically trying to find thoughts and words for this post. It would be easy to just give in and call it a month. But I won’t. I am stubborn. If I give in now, I could give in to so many other things. It could be a domino effect. An avalanche could occur. I have completed challenges before. I can do it again. My first one was called the 100 Day Challenge. It was the one that led me back to my art. Every day I would draw or paint something. I was surprised and elated at the end to find that I do have some talent. One of my favourite challenge is the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. Here are some of them from July 2019.

DAY 22 UBC – BY HOOK OR BY CLIP

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By Hook or By Clip

I think for sure I’ve lost my glow on this 22nd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I felt bright and chirpy enough this morning. I felt as shiny as a new penny. My sourdough had risen to double itself overnight. It looked soft and smooth as a baby’s bottom. I was so pleased. I stretched and folded it 8 times and dusted it all with cornstartch. Then I put it in my largest long casserole, covered it and stuck it in the fridge to chill. 4 hours later, I took it out, cut the dough into sections and baked them on my pizza pan. They turned out superb. We had them with our soup for lunch.

In between making soup and sourdough buns, I worked on my blackout curtains. I took apart 3 seams, made the necessary adjustments and sew them back up again. They look pretty darn good, except…heavy big sigh. They still don’t pulled back easily. They’re of heavy material and do not slide readily, bunching up. At the end of the day when I spent so much time and effort, I really like to bunch them up and toss them. It’s my tired self talking. I’m feeling cranky. I hear more snow is coming. Maybe I can blame it on the change in atmospheric pressure.

It is late again. I want to finish this conversation already, have a shower and watch Grey’s Anatomy. There’s the call of peanut butter chocolate ice cream, too. Oh, I have thought of an easy fix for my curtains. Curtain rod rings with clips. Goodnight. Be back tomorrow. I will finish this challenge by hook or crook.

DAY 21 UBC – THE EVOLUTION OF THINGS

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The Evolution of Things

Here I am again, at the end of the day, trying to find a few words, thoughts worthy of a post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. There’s a few things I could talk about that could raise some controversy. They could generate interest, heat and possibly more traffic to this site. But that has never been my goal for writing. I don’t have a business, product or service to sell. I write for the beauty of the word. I write as a form of therapy. I write in the hope I can help another having similar experiences, interests and problems. So I won’t talk about the elections, Canadian or American. And I won’t talk about whether we should or shouldn’t celebrate Halloween.

I had a good start to the day, sleeping in to almost 8:45 am. My first reaction was, Oh God! I have to cancel my exercise class. Then I thought, How stupid. I don’t have to be there till 9:30. I even have time for breakfast. I was really glad that I showed up because exercise is the best medicine. It cleared my brain fog after retirement. A couple of weeks after I started the AM Energizer class at the YWCA, I felt so much better. I was so excited, I talked about it alot. I talked about it so much, the guy decided he wanted to go, too. I am sure it’s the reason why we are as healthy and active as we are.

It certainly helped resetting my mood and circadian rhythm. I am sure they are interrelated. I know I have my days, but overall I have a pretty grip on life. I am optimissic and happy even in this Covid time. That is not saying I haven’t had my difficult days – seeing my mother through her shingles and losing Sheba. They occurred during the pandemic but not because of it. I cannot really say I suffered. I was still able to move about freely. I was still able to take my mother to her medical appointments. I was still taking Sheba to the dog park and let her run. The pandemic made it a little harder going to the medical appointments. It made it not possible to be with her at the moment of Sheba’s passing. But the vetinary people were kind. They brought her out so that we could say goodbye.

Those two experiences were life changing and helpful for me. I would say that this pandemic is life changing and could be helpful for all of us. We have to be open to change. And when it is forced upon us, we should be grateful that there is in time for us to make the changes. We don’t have to cry and lament about what we have lost. We could look at what we could gain. I’m speaking from a very safe space. I am retired. I haven’t lost employment or income. I don’t have children or other dependents. I do feel very grateful and privileged. I am in this very moment very happy. It’s a light bulb moment for me.

DAY 20 UBC – THIS DAILY THING

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This Daily Thing

Sometimes I wonder why I dabble in so many things. It keeps me going and going. Not too many idle moments do I have. But I did take 30 minutes this afternoon for a good soak in the tub. It took the chill out of my bones. The snow caught me by surprise. It was in the forecast but who pays attention, eh? Not me evidently. But I must have felt it because I worked like the dickens to get the garlic in yesterday. I felt like the Energy Bunny. Then I raked the leaves out front to mulch them and my perennial beds.

I was surprised to wake at 4:30am and unable to get back to sleep. I had lots of exercise and fresh air. I should have slept around the clock . Oh well, it was dark so it was nice to snuggle in. What a surprise to get up at 6 and find the snow. I was and wasn’t surprised really. I’ve always been a weather vane, feeling every little and big change. I’ve been trying not to use/blame the weather for all my missteps and moods. But it does make affect me. I think it’s better for me not to discount it.

I’m feeling a little chaotic. My dining table and my desk are getting cluttered again. Is that really a problem? My day has been busy. I worked on my black out curtains this morning. The half is half done. 60 inch panels requires a bit of sewing. It is also tiring. I’ve harvested my 2 beds of greens in the afternoon. They’ve been brave and weathered the cold for awhile. I can’t ask them to hang on further. So they are taken off. They’re be good in soups. I can’t waste. You can call me the No Waste Queen. Good fresh veggies will be hard to come by in a few months. I hope our Long Keep Tomatoes will last us till Christmas at least.

I feel like I’m nattering on and on about nothing. Only 11 more days to the Challenge left. Surely I can hang on till the end now. I am so close.

DAY 19 UBC – COME TO THE TABLE

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Come to the Table

There are indeed so many things to do, some that are needed and some that I want to do. There is really no time to be maudlin. I have to remind myself that the next time I get the blues. I know that right in the moment of those feelings, it is difficult to rise above it. Then I have to remind myself it’s okay. I’m just being human. I can have a rainy day to rest from the sun. Not all days are equal. We need the sun and we need the rain equally.

I’m sitting here, late in the day again, tapping out another post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have no idea of what to write until I come to the table and begin. That is my biggest tool in life – to come to the table and start. I have to show up and make a move, however small it is. I think I outdid myself. It’s one of my best days in a long time. The Challenge is working, helping me change the way I talk. I’m finding positives instead of griping about the negatives all the time.

D0 you know that birds change their tunes? Apparently the male Savannah sparrows are changing their songs to attract ‘the ladies’. They are singing different songs than their ancestors did 30 years ago. If they can change their tunes, so can I. It’s not going to happen overnight. It will take some doing. I will take it one day at a time. I stumbled already today. I felt terrible over my misstep and berated myself. I gave myself a talk and forgave me for being human. That’s how it’s going to be.

This morning I had no idea of what to make for lunch. It’s such a headache sometimes especially when the larder is scant. Then I remembered we have some ham with a bone left. Why don’t I make soup? There’s some limp celery in the fridge. The ham triggered thoughts of pork and beans. I can taste it with the thought. We have Swedish beans, carrots and onions we grew ourselves. Then the guy harvested some of our Jerusalem artichokes. Well, guess what? I had a whole Instant Pot full of good stuff. It made a delicious soup served over rice noodles.

All this reminds me that when we think we are scraping the bottom of the barrel, it is not true. We have a lot of stuff in us to take us where we want to go. I’m almost scraping the bottom now. I’ve done lots besides making soup. I planted the garlic and mulched them. Hope it’s not too late. Then there are the perennial beds that needed to be put to bed. Our daytime temperatures are now in the minuses. Now it is time to say good night and God bless.

DAY 18 UBC – I AM NOT BEHIND

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I Am Not Behind

I am alot of things like being angry, sad, bad, depressed… But I am seldom bored. There’s no time. I find that there’s endless things that need doing and wanting doing. I’m always in a muddle of some thing or other. I have stashes of unfinished projects hidden here and there. I’ve always been thus.

I hadn’t worried about nothing to do in retirement. I have been retired for seven years now and haven’t ran out of things to do yet. I don’t miss work at all. I never felt defined by my job. I don’t think of myself as always a nurse. I don’t feel like a nurse at all. I’ve been a babysitter, waitress, cashier and secretary. I don’t feel like any of those either. I guess I’m a Jill of all trades and a mistress of none.

I like to write. That’s how I got into this blogging thing. That’s why I am in this Ultimate Blog Challenge. I get to push the PUBLISH button, tweet and share. It’s a small taste of being a writer with a small readership. It’s enough for me. I like the small sweetness of things. I can read a bit of music and play the piano. I probably could bring the house down but not in a good way. I can play the guitar, too. I can tell when it’s out of tune but I can’t tune it. I can’t play well or by ear either. It still brings me pleasure.

I like to draw and paint, too. I can. We all can. I had some training when I was young by some excellent teachers. I didn’t know it then. I dropped out because I thought if I was really talented, I could just create master pieces just like that. I couldn’t. I gave up on my artistry for over 30 some years. I talked about it alot but didn’t do anything till a few years ago. Then I surprised myself by seeing that I am creative and artsy fartsy. I am enjoying it now.

I don’t think I’m behind or that it’s too late. I am exactly where I am suppose to be. It is a little late in the day though. I’ve worked hard today, immersed in my puddle of muddle. I like to sew, too. I designed and sewed my dress for my Grade 12 grad. In fact, I used to sew a lot of my own clothes. Then that fell off my wagon. Life is like that. There’s a season for everything. Now, sewing has come back to me. I’m not making clothes. I’ve moved on to other stuff. It’s never too late to pick up something again. But it is getting late. I’m finished.

DAY 17 UBC – OVER REACHING

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Over Reaching

It’s a cold October Saturday. I think I’m over -reaching my goal of fresh lettuce from my garden till end of October. I’m so close. Just two weeks left but it’s a long two weeks. The forecast is not good. Minus temperatures as far as I can see. But one might as well aim high rather than low. Missing the mark is disappointing but it is a great incentive to investigate and learn how to achieve it next year. It would be easy if our greenhouse is finished. But..it is not. So far the greens are a little chilled but still viable under 2 crop covers. I am still hopeful.

I was listening to the Current podcast this afternoon. I heard the interesting story of Christopher Havens. He’s a convicted killer with a life sentence. He spent his first year in solitary confinement. He was a high school dropout but got interested in math in prison. He started to teach himself as much as he could. Somehow he reached outside the prison system to get further help. Since then he’s got an article published in a math journal. It’s an awesome must read story if you’re looking for inspiration. He finds math and fractions beautiful. And he is setting up a Prison Mathematics Project to help other inmates.

I guess I will keep reaching high. I don’t have time for those baby steps. I have to take giant leaps forward. I am pretty proud that I got out to the fabric store yesterday. I got my drapery material and the hardware to hang it on. The rod is installed. The material cut. I miscalculated or didn’t calculate the correct amount of material. But no worries. I came up with a solution. I think problems are good for us. They keep our brains active and working. They need problems to solve. Otherwise they become porridge.

I hope I will have curtains to hang by this time tomorrow. It’s an encentive having made the annoucement. So ends this 17th post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

DAY 16 UBC – CHINESE AIR FORCE DAY

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Chinese Air Force Day

It’s Friday, Chinese Air Force Day. You know – Fly day! Get it? I’m having a joke on myself. It’s good to laugh once in awhile even though I’m not the laughing kind of girl. I’m super serious. I was still in a ranting kind of mad about not asleeping well because of bright city lights this morning. What you get when you hang onto rants is not good at all. I learned it the hard way. This morning I was still constipated as all get up. I ate 2 prunes last night with no show. Then I ate 2 more this morning. It was difficult and painful. It was like having a baby! Sorry, too much information and sharing.

I’m somewhat better. I was late getting to the aerobics class this morning. My mind was all afluttered and distressed. I was still teed off and suffering the side effects of the sleeping pill. I had to pay more attention driving. I could have easily gotten into an accident. It was nice my classmates helped me assembled my equipment for the tabata class. I have to admit I didn’t give it my all. I faked some of the hard stuff but I still worked up a sweat.

After lunch I went shopping for black out drapery lining. Thanks to Martha DeMeo I learned something new. I never knew of such a thing before. Now I can make my windows totally light proof. I had a little trouble finding things but it prooved to be fun. I rambled away at another customer on a different search. I bounced off ideas on her. What do you think of this and that? It helps to have another input. While I was there, I picked out the hardware to put it on. The bonus was everything was 50% off. I didn’t do the cheapy thing like a true Chinese either. I treated myself with NICE.

I had hated to cover up my nice warm wooden framed windows with built in venetians. Now I am excited with doing an do over. Besides, sleeping is more important. I can solve a problem even if there is no cooperation. Life is good. Change is good. I have a new project. The material is heavy and nice enough. I can use it as the curtain. I can dress it up with some stitching or embroidery. I love the curtain rod. It’s a good accent. I am grateful for challenging times.

DAY 15 UBC – I’M MAD AS HELL

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I’m Mad as Hell

I’m mad as hell. I’m going to take it but I’m not wasting it. All that pent up energy going to waste. No sir! It’s fuel. I’m putting it use. I’m not letting it turn into methane gas. We have too much of it already.

So I had my rant, stomped my and screamed a bit. Then I donned my warm jacket and my YWCA Take Back the Light toque from last year and headed out the door. -2 Celsius was nothing when I’m all fumed up. It was beautiful and sunny. The neighbourhood was lit up by autumn colours. I walked by Carol’s (Sheba’s sitter) old house. I see the chair lift in the front. I am reminded of how minor my problems are. A few houses down Dracula was sleeping in his coffin. That was until I walked by. Then the coffin creaked open and he slowly rose. How Sheba used to always barked and balked at this.

A little harmless Halloween scare is good for the soul. It’s better than being pissed with steam coming out of my ears. I try not to be my old self but I don’t always win. So now I’m trying to let it go, look for the gold and enjoy life. My sleep has been disturbed these last while by my neighbour’s light on her garage. It casts a giant panarama bright enough for a movie set, I am sure. It’s on all night and looks like will be 24/7. Yes, I’ve approached her with various solutions. We even invited her in for a glass of wine. She was opened in changing to a different less glaring lightbulb. But it is of same wattage. It is better but it still casts light through my venetians and reflect on the wall. She already has another light on 24/7 on the side of the garage and a motion sensor light above her back door which she does not turn on at night.

So after a night of sleeping pill aid, I let her know that the light was still a problem. From her answer and our past history, I know that she is not opened at all. It is up to us to make the changes. And we will. We don’t want responsibility for her falling or robbed and attacked because of poor lighting. It’s good to remember the onus rests on yourself. You will never go wrong there. I will get the guy to install some nice curtain rods. I will create and design some nice embroidered ones. My mind is easing and creating already. I am a creator, not a fumer. Lesson learned.