One of my problems is that I have to get to the root of everything. I’m obsessive about it. I dig and dig, trying to get to the heart of the matter. Sometimes it does me in. I’m worse off. There’s such a thing as knowing too much. I go into overwhelm. Another problem is it takes a long time for me to overcome an every day illness like a cold. These two are not a good combination. It comes as a no surprise now that it’s a huge battle for me. They take away much of my time and energy. Quite often I feel I’m robbed of huge chunks of life.

I see some of the error of my ways. I don’t have to get to the root of everything. They will be revealed to me in time. AND I do have a lot of knowledge already. I have to accept how my body heals. I cannot hurry it along. It goes into more stress and I into more distress. Everything gets worse and I go beserk. Not a good scenerio. Now I have learned to chill, just be in my usual mode of moping along, laying in the sun, sipping my tea, watching my navel, do a little of this, a little of that, and not trying to get anywhere. In essence, be the tortoise.

On the other hand, it is always good to rise to the challenge. I should not so readily accept my bodily’s inability or my mind’s disability without question. I should at least give it a good go without pushing too hard. There’s the rub, to have good judgement and to have balance. Upon rising in the morning, I drink my little cup of hot water with freshly squeezed lemon juice. I meditate to the voice of Mark Williams on Youtube. Then I listen/watch something educational and uplifting. This morning it was a lecture on Immunology 101 from the University of California. I have a passion for learning. I just need to keep in mind not to pursue it to the nth degree AND to put the knowledge into practice.

I’m coming out of my body and mind funk. The other night I gave up fretting, took a pain killer, laid on the couch and watched two episodes of Grace and Frankie. Comedy can be healing. Then I popped a sleeping pill and went to bed. Uninterrupted sleep is very healing. I’m not advocating medication but sometimes it is what I need to get over the hurdles. When all else fails, it is how I get over my over obsessive mind so that I can heal. Now that I’m unchained, I’m in a better place. I’m soaking up the sun in my space, tapping out my melody. Meanwhile it is cold out, baby. I don’t feel it, only the warm healing sun though the windows.

6 thoughts on “THE HEART OF THE MATTER

  1. Lily, you have such great knowledge and wisdom and with your “bag of tricks” have learned how to get back on track all the time. But it is so nice just to do nothing and just veg out, allow yourself the freedom just to be. We are much alike and I find the seasons, especially February the toughest. When I go off the rails….it’s destructive foods and self pity👺🥺. Waiting now for my Skype yoga call from my teacher in BC, and enjoying your blog. Take care 💐

    1. Thank you, Terry! It’s a cold Feb. day. Sheba and I are just back from the park. I will park myself in front of the tv for more Grace and Frankie. Hope you had a good yoga session.

  2. We do travel much the same path and life has its ups and its downs. Today while walking in the hills near my farm a pickup hit one of my smaller dogs and broke one of his hind legs. He has a cast on now and will be living on the kitchen porch for the next couple of weeks while he heals. I will spend a lot of time with the little guy. I missed my meditation time this morning but will catch up in a little while, thanks for sharing Mark Williams with us. I think I will skip my tai chi lesson today as well as some baking I had planned for this afternoon. Do be careful with those pills.

    1. Oh, the poor puppy! I hope he has a speedy recovery. Life certainly is up and down. I’ve been finding the recent cold spell tiring. It’s good to rest once in awhile. Luckily it’s warming up. I’ve taken up a short siesta in the afternoons. Do take care, too.

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