Author Archives: hafong

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About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.

MAKING LIFE WORK

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I like to say that I am relaxed and focused BUT I am not. The harder and more I tried, the worse I feel. Logic would say I should stop trying so hard and just relax. Sounds easy but it is very difficult to do. I am restless. My stomach is in knots. I’m trying to stop thinking but I am bombarded with thoughts. Relax! Quit thinking! Let everything go! I could feel the gears in my head going round and round, trying to make it work.

It doesn’t work that way. So here I sit, tap, tapping my anguish onto the page, doing a brain dump. It’s more or less Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages. In my case, it’s the Afternoon Pages. It works. I’m finding relief externalizing my pent up angst. Sometimes my thoughts drive me crazy, into a frenzy. I’m like that girbel on the wheel, going nowhere. I lose so much time and energy in this state. It’s better that I can exercise my fingers and let it all out in words. I can call it my brainstorming. I get ideas. I get relief. I get somewhere.

I’m working on getting out my quirks and kinks. I’m focusing on what I can do. I try not to blame other people for my short comings. It’s tempting to throw it on others, but in the long run the only control I have is what I do. That sucks but that’s reality.

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I had to abandon my Afternoon Pages yesterday. My mind was overloaded and stimulated. The day was getting on and so was I. So here I am the next day. It is late morning. I have time only to tap a few words before making lunch. I’m appreciating the tips from Chris Bailey’s The Productivity Project. Our/my attention span is short and getting shorter. There are so many distractions/things to check. For me it’s a constant scrolling – what is the temperature outside, what is the temperature in the greenhouse, messages, emails, social media….I didn’t realize how disruptive all that was for my brain until I cut back.

It’s not all that easy. It’s become such a habit. I find myself reaching for my smart phone whenever there is a lull, which is every few minutes. It helps if I leave it in a different room and if I ask myself if it’s important knowing a particular thing. What difference would it make? Quite often the answer is no difference and of no importance.

Now it is after lunch. I’m sitting with my cup of tea. I intend to finish this post at this sitting so the dishes can wait. If I was to do the dishes, it would lead to other chores. It would be more difficult to come back and refocus. That’s what happens with distractions. It costs more time and energy. When I am in a flow, I should go with it. Multitasking does not lead to flow. It makes me frenzied and freezes me up. It’s better for me to focus and do one thing at a time. Another important tip in being productive. It’s also important to know when to stop and that is now. Tomorrow is another day.

HELP OR HINDER

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Just like that our heat wave is over. Not only that, it’s now cool. I woke up to 12℃ this morning, whereas only a couple of days ago I went to bed with 30℃. Life is like that now, swinging from one extreme to the other. Sometimes there is a short almost normal in between. Now is the time to pay attention and try to live the best rest of my life. I do need alot of help. My attention span is the size of a gnat. Can you believe that I paid my property tax twice this year? How inattentive can I be, especially when I do make written entries of paid bills. If I had only glanced up a few lines….

But not to worry. The city will probably send me a refund cheque or I won’t have to worry about paying next year. Do you know how hard it is to speak to a real person on the phone these days? I was lucky the first time I called the city when I was alerted that I had made another payment. It was first thing in the morning and a person came on the line after a few prompts. He told me to call the bank to have them stop payment because it hasn’t shown up on his end yet. But he could see that I’ve already paid up. I wasn’t so lucky calling the bank. No real person came on the line. No luck for me either at the bank in person. They could not stop payment. It had already gone through and because I had paid online, they can’t do anything.

All of this had cost me some time. It’s my own fault really for not paying attention to what I was doing. It cost me more time phoning the city back. Now all I can get is a recording about their high volume of calls and to visit their website. On emailing them, I was informed that they are experiencing a high volume of mail and not to expect an answer for 5 business days. If it is urgent call the telephone line! Round and round we go. It’s almost 5 business days since I’ve emailed the city. I have not heard from them yet.

It is helpful to pay attention where and when we lose time and energy. Most of us spend too much time and energy online and scrolling on our phones. The last few days, it’s cost me both, trying to fix my Fitness app. I still can’t log onto it doing everything I’m suppose to – even enlisting help from my fitness center. I’ve decided not to phone the helpline. I’m sure I will get a recording prompting me to press this and that. So while technology can help us, it also can do the opposite. It’s up to us to be mindful of how we use our gizmos.

I am glad to have stumble onto Chris Baily’s The Productivity Project. It came at a good time. The thing is I’m just reading it and not doing the assignments as he recommends. So I’m backtracking to make the lessons stick. Here are 4 tips from the project:

  1. Consume caffeine strategically, not habitually.
  2. Work on your hardest, highest return tasks at your peak energy time of day.
  3. Focus on one task at a time. Multitasking is simply less productive.
  4. Compartmentalize email and social media to specific times during the day.

I know these tips are really helpful. I did a caffeine fast for a week. I felt more relaxed and things tasted a lot better after. No. 2 is what everyone recommends. The hardest task requires more energy and focus. Multitasking screws up my mind and I make more mistakes. Limiting time on social media and online makes me feel more restful and peaceful. I’m not exactly that at the moment. I have been very busy during the heat wave to keep all our gardens and greenhouse watered. It didn’t leave me much spare time. Now is my unwinding time.

WORKING SMARTER, NOT HARDER

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I am most happy when I am working on a project or challenge. Right now my challenge/project is writing this post and baking bread. I’m in between risings. I have a few minutes to tap out some first words/thoughts. I’ve been away for awhile. It might take some time for my fingers to limber up and my brain to gear up. Thank God the heat wave is over. The 30+- 40℃ have chilled. I don’t function well in heat but I did remarkedly well through it this time. And that is because I’ve learned to work smarter, not harder. I owe my thanks to Chris Baily of the Productivity Project.

I’ve finished baking my bread. The loaves are out, cooled, bagged and put away. The mixing bowl, tools and all the pans are washed and dried. After everything is said and done, I know that I’ve worked hard. I’m not sure about the smart part. But it is at the end of the day. I am tired. Though it is only 22℃ now, I feel hot. I am sure I am still processing the past week of heat. I do not bounce back like the EverReady Bunny. I’m more like the tortoise. I am slow but I try to be steady and committed.

I’m intent on writing this post as I had set out to do this morning. It’s a good thing that I chose only 2 things for today. I’m not sure I have enough energy for more. Oh, I’ve done more than just baking bread and writing this post. I’m talking about commitments- things I MUST do from start to finish. I have a bad habit of starting something and not following through. I hope to change that by working smarter, not wasting energy and time on the wrong things. Coming back to this writing space will help me chart my way. I’ve been away for too many days.

WORKING SMARTER, PLANNING BETTER

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It’s June the 2nd. I’ve been missing in action for most of the 2nd half of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Life gets busy. I want time to rest. I can’t do/have it all. I gave some thought as to what matters the most in what I am doing. Taking some time off to breathe, rest and regenerate is top of the list for me. Not that I have that much time to sit idle for long. There’s always something calling me. When you have a greenhouse, a garden, 6 raised garden beds, community garden plot and a city allotment, it keeps us quite busy. It is a very worthwhile busy though, growing our own food. I just have to work smarter and plan better.

It’s beastly hot out today. Heat is not my best friend but the weather is not something I can control. I have to suck it up and deal with it, like it or not. It’s also involves planning and working smarter. It’s probably not the best day to do any transplanting but my red leaf amaranth is getting to a decent size in the greenhouse. I had seeded them for my mother. It’s now or never. I gave them a good watering and scooped them out onto a plastic tray. They’re all planted now in my mother’s garden bed. I hope they take and do well.

The thinking about doing something is more difficult than the task. I’m home now, sweaty but happy I could do something for my mother. I enjoyed the planting and visit with her. I’m learning that it is never a good time to do anything but it is the best time to do something. I just have to work past the thinking into doing.

CHANGING HABITS

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I came upon a video on YouTube yesterday called 21 Tiny Habits to Improve Your Life in 2021 Effortlessly. Being a self improvement junkie, it really caught my eye. The effortlessly part didn’t hurt. Here are the 21 tiny habits in a nutshell:

  1. List 3 things you are grateful for.
  2. Say no once a week.
  3. Exercise for 1 minute upon waking.
  4. Invest in experiences.
  5. Organize your home.
  6. Throw things away.
  7. Manage your money.
  8. Stand up every hour. 
  9. Follow tis simple proverb. “Quand on a pas de tete, on a des jambes”. When we don’t have head, we have legs. Accept what is done is done.
  10. Ask open-ended questions. This keeps the conversation going.
  11. Turn off notifications. 
  12. Prepare your clothes.
  13. Watch the news less.
  14. Drink more water.
  15. Discover one thing a month.
  16. Make your bed.
  17. Spend one minute a day with yourself.
  18. Ask yourself whether what you’re doing is worth it.
  19. If a task takes 2 minutes, do it right away.
  20. Take care of your posture. 
  21. Read for 15 minutes a day.

These look very do-able and sustainable. I have been doing some of them already. Number 8 is supposed to be the hardest. It shouldn’t be a surprise since we are such couch potatoes. It’s a good one for me since one of my goals is to be in motion more. Let me stand up now. I did my one minute exercise of stretching first thing this morning. I do make my bed every morning. I only watch small news in the evening. I think I drink enough liquids. I’m in the bathroom quite often. I’ve started asking myself whether what I’m doing is worth it. I meditate every morning sitting in perfect alignment for #20. I do read enough to make it 15 minutes a day.

Habits are worth looking into. They can improve our lives a bit at a time. I’ve experienced their big impact already in this month. I feel more at ease and have more time for myself. #18 and #9 have spoken the most to me.

ACCEPTANCE CAN BE A HARD THING

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We’re having a good day of rain. It started in the night and it is still continuing on. Hooray, what a long wait it has been! I’m feeling very sleepy. It would be much easier to have a nap than write a post. However, this is the 24th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have fallen behind on this and on the100daychallenge. I must push past my sleepiness. This post is the last item on my to-do list.

I’ve been having difficulty with my sleep this past week. I wonder how the weather has affected it. We’ve had almost 4 seasons in the past week. I hope my sleep will return tonight. I’m sure I woke up every one to two hours last night. I was lucky that I could get back to sleep each time. Still – interrupted sleep is not a good sleep. I am too sensitive to weather changes. I wonder if I could somehow desensitize myself. The more I know, the better I can help myself.

Reading from the article, I see that I am already doing what I can. Even though I know that I have no control over the weather, acceptance can be a hard thing. I know, too, that stepping out onto the deck can make me feel better. I’ve been out in the yard, collecting buckets and buckets of water for dry days and catching some daylight for myself. I’m moving my body as well as waking myself up a little.

 

1. Accept that the weather is out of your control

Simply by accepting that sleep is likely to be difficult due to the weather can work wonders for improving your rest. This takes the pressure off and allows you to relax.

2. Expose yourself to daylight

Even if the sky is overcast, getting out in natural light can help your body to produce the right hormones at the right time, keeping your circadian rhythm in tune.

3. Stay active

A little activity can go a long way in helping you to sleep at night. This will help to get rid of the drowsiness, which in turn will make it easier to sleep at night.

CHANGE ONE SMALL THING A DAY

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I am so happy that the dishes are done and I’m finally sitting down. Happy, too, that the weather is warming up and the sun is out. It is almost 4 pm and I am pooped on this 22nd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I realize now that I’ve just gave out a very noisy sigh. Somehow that always makes me feel better. I’m alone at the moment. Sometimes I forget and do it in public. I would get a few chuckles. So no problem, eh?

Now that I have an opening, how shall I proceed? I always thought I was an active person. People seem to think I do alot because I garden and have lots of other hobbies. I also used to go to an aerobic class 3 times a week and swim every Saturday morning before Covid. That only took an hour or two counting travelling time. Then there’s the rest of the day in which I’m sedentary. Now I don’t even have that hour Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. I’m trying to rectify it by keeping in motion and not being such a couch potato.

I used to hate having going downstairs so I would try to line up jobs so that I would go down just once or twice. Now I think of it as an opportunity to move and work off some fat. Change my thoughts, change my life. Wayne Dyer would be so proud of me. I have the book on my bookshelf but I haven’t read it. It’s been there for a number of years. I have so many bad habits but I’m working on changing them. It’s not easy but I’m not sweating it. I’ll work on one small thing a day.

Today I worked on being in motion more. I did my 20 minute sitting meditation with my morning tea. Then I got up and put away last night’s supper dishes drying on the rack. I fed Oscar, my sourdough starter. The guy likes to linger over his morning coffee before breakfast, so I did my qigong routine. After breakfast, I tended to the garden beds, taking some of the covers over the plants. Then they would have to be folded and put away. In my other life, I would just drop them somewhere, wherever. I’m trying to correct my sloppiness also.

All this correcting takes more time, of course. I try not to feel resentful about it. It is actually helping me in having more time in the long run. You see, I’m thinking differently. It didn’t happen overnight. It’s taken me a long, long time to get here. And I’m really, really tired. I did some harvesting of my veggies this morning, cleaned and chopped, stir fried, made soup and did the dishes. I think I’ve earned the couch now. No, wait! I better do my hula hoop and other exercises. It’s a short routine. Doing something different can get rid of fatigue.

GROUNDED IN THIS MOMENT

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I’m enjoying puttering around the house on this cold day in Saskatchewan. We had a -1℃ last night. We have a few more ahead before it’s over. But our passive solar greenhouse is doing fabulously. It was 19.5℃ while only 2℃ outside a couple of hours ago. Now it has dropped to 17.3℃. It has been cloudy all day. I am learning to ground myself in household duties instead of crying the woes.

It was soothing to sew my quilt block this morning by the fireplace. I feel the warm of the fire. There is comfort in touching the fabric. I see the different colours and patterns. I hear the whir of my Bernina as it stitch the seam. I look up and I see my daffodils and tulips out the window. The cat is beseeching me to put in a geranium in its pot. Soon, kitty, soon.

It feels good to be in the moment, not to be scattered and distracted every which way. I’m learning to ground myself in the present moment, sewing in silence. I’m not listening to the radio, to the voices of happenings over which I have no control. I did listen to a couple of short video clips from Therapy in a Nutshell on grounding and other mental health tips. I’m a self-help addict and I’m always opened to learning how to make things better and easier for myself.

Today is a good day, despite the cold and the grey sky. I almost lost this post just now. I better quit while I’m still ahead for this 20th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

BEING JERKED AROUND

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Just like that our heat wave of 2 days is over. We are sitting at a cool 6℃ at 9 am. The greenhouse is registering 14.6℃. Snow is in the forecast for Friday. Talk about getting jerked around! It was so hot by this time Monday and Tuesday that it was uncomfortable on the deck. Not so today. It is even cool inside. I had to close all the windows I opened last night. If the plants are stressed by all this back and forth, hot days and cold nights, what is it doing to us?

That thought crept into my mind last night. It lingers still. I think of the ways I do to baby the plants along to strengthen them.

  • Greenhouse to extend season in spring and fall
  • Heater for greenhouse on cold nights
  • Kosy Coats for the tomatoes
  • Row covers
  • Raised beds with covers
  • Opening vents and door to the greenhouse on hot,hot days
  • Bamboo poles and strings for climbing plants
  • Watering

I know I am susceptible to changes in the weather. Do I baby myself to build resilience or do I mostly bemoan the fact? Hmmm, let me see.

  • I do tend to bash myself alot for my shortcomings but I am learning to turn that around. I try to accept how I’m physically, neurological and emotionally made up and to think of ways of how I can make things easier for myself.
  • I try not to run hot and cold like the weather. I try to be a steady Eddy. That’s where developing healthy routines and habits come in. 
  • This blog is my worksheet where I try to identify problems and find workable solutions. It is also my breathing space where I tap to comfort and ease myself.
  • I’ve lost my aerobics class and swimming due to Covid but I’m finding other alternatives. Physical activity builds physical and mental resilience. This past winter, I took up cross country skiing. That has gone with the snow. Walking is not as inviting and sustainable without my Sheba. So now I’m doing hula hooping, weights, qigong and yoga. 
  • I meditate for 20 minutes every morning, learning to sit and stay with everything.
  • I’m a super serious person. I’m going to try to lighten myself up. I don’t know how yet. One way may be letting go of being obsessive about everything – including goals. It might be ok to just laugh some days.

I think this is adequate for now, on this 19th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

PLANNING AND TRYING MY BEST FOR SUCCESS

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It is the 17th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is a good time for another review. I’ve been missing and skipping more days here lately. And it’s likely that I will not be able to finish this post tonight. Well, my purpose for this month is to carve more time for myself. There’s much to do in this merry month of May. I don’t have as much energy and focus as my younger self. Some things have to go.

It’s a blistering hot day today, up to 32℃. It was almost too hot to sit on the deck by 9 this morning. I did it anyways. At least the deck is covered, out of the sun. I opened both doors to get a breeze. I did not sit in idleness. I was transplanting little tiny seedlings into little paper pots I made. It was almost like performing neurosurgery. I think I will think twice before doing this again. I only have 4 more batches of seedlings to go.

It’s almost 8 pm. Sweat is running down my face as I sit here tapping. I hope we will get some rain after this. I won’t hold my breath though. The earth feels like it’s burning up. I can’t remember when we had some normal spring rain. And what is normal any more?

It is another day/afternoon. Not as hot as yesterday but too warm to sit on the deck. I’m chased back into the relative cool of the house. I’m trying to finish this post/review of how I am doing/progressing. Overall I think I’m making a passing grade. I don’t sweat over the small stuff as much. I don’t let my anxiety put me in the hole. It is just feelings, right? My motto of regardless of how I feel, I get up, dress up and show up still works. As inane as it sounds, life goes on. It’s a healthy treadmill to step on and keep up as best as I can. That’s all that is asked of me.

It is important how I speak to myself in the morning. Good morning, self! is a good opening. The day is then started. I get up, dressed up, wash my face, brush my teeth and show up. How I plan and face the day is important, too. There are must-do things like getting dress, brushing your teeth and showing up for a good breakfast. The next-to-dos are working on projects of sewing my quilt squares, writing this blog, my 6 minute of hula hooping, 6 minutes of marching/walking,squatting exercises. It worked well for me this morning. I even had chili cooking in the Instant Pot for lunch. I even had a trip to Early’s Garden Center for more supplies. Lunch was ready when we got home.

Tomorrow it might not go so well. A little planning and trying the best sets me up for success. I will have to remember that. Oh, I must not forget the conclusion. I am carving out more rest time. I have learn to stop and not push so hard on each and every thing. It is ok to fall behind when I am tired or short of time. There’s no must or die. Some things are not that crucial.