NEW BEGINNINGS

Posted on April 6, 2014 by hafong

It’s Sunday morning, a new day, a new dawn, a new week. The sun is shining bright, its warmth melting the remaining snow. It is finally spring at last! My geraniums are germinating, their little heads pushing their way through the soil. For me, it is always a miracle to see this birthing. And I have a part in this process.

Let me rejoice and greet this day and new beginning with gladness and gratitude in my heart. Let me be generous and forgiving in my soul. And lest I forget, be ever so humble. There but for the Grace of God, I could be in others’ shoes.

SATURDAY MORNING COMING DOWN

Posted on April 5, 2014 by hafong

It’s Saturday morning, grey and overcast. No sun yet. It evokes in me feelings from the song, Sunday Morning Coming Down – nostalgia and hung over, feelings of a misspent youth, and memories of early university days.

Yes, those days were somewhat misspent but not wasted. No, I never finished and got a degree. But it was an education all the same. And it was fun in a painful sort of way. I got to explore the world, getting lost and found and lost again but not forever. I got to taste the bitter along with the sweet. I discovered I had appeal but never believed it.

I was a fool and a saint. I was an innocent and innocent of the fact. Someone up there looked after me! And I came out alright.

It is Saturday morning and it is snowing tiny snow flakes. Enough of nostalgia and wallowing in memories. On with the day. Forward, march!

WORDS INTO ACTION

Posted on April 4, 2014 by hafong

Now that I have committed myself on paper, it is time to turn the words into action.

I rose and shone this morning, stretched and moved. It wasn’t easy and I wasn’t pretty about it. Nonetheless, I did it.

Nothing has to be perfect. And life certainly isn’t. I love Regina Brett’s phrase, Get up, dress up, and show up. That is big – showing up. You are the star of your life. If you don’t show up, well there is no show.

I have learned from past failures on what not to do if I want to make progress. I can’t keep doing the same things if I want to get different results. Change is necessary for change. I can’t take giant leaps ahead before I have the muscles. Otherwise I will probably stumble and fall. My head has finally stopped throbbing from its crack on the ice. Do I want more unnecessary pain? Absolutely not.

Baby steps are okay, but at some point you have to let go. You have to take a chance and stride forward into action – first one step, then another. Now I’m doing a slow jog down life’s lane – a few steps at a time. Then I slow down and let Sheba dawdle and sniff the grass. I let the sun shine on my face and breathe in the fresh air. Enough sniffing! Time to jog again.

I’m learning to be more fluid and flexible. It is okay to let go a little, relax and have fun. You can’t go at it hard. It’s not about all or nothing. There’s in betweens, greys and even paler shades of white. “It’s all about balance”, is not just an inane phrase. It is the truth.

I’m losing my doldrums already. It feels good to have something to strive for. My endorphins are rising in me. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! I better stop here. Tomorrow is another day. Yes Scarlett, there is tomorrow.

PRIORITIES AND PROCRASTATION

Posted on April 3, 2014 by hafong

If you are a friend of mine, you will know that I am obsessed with self-improvement. It is my habit to read and gather information of how I could change for the better. I don’t know if I ever put the knowledge into application.

They say that recognition is the first step towards a journey of a thousand changes. At least I got that. I often just sit on my duff, read and gather, looking for yet more information. So let me be a little more proactive and use this month to propel myself forward into action and towards towards changes.

How can I succeed in this journey? What tools do I need?

Goals
Commitment
Priorities
Courage
Patience
Flexibility

I am committed to carry out my actions every day this month. Next month is next month. I am already setting my priorities for the NOW instead of later. It is important for me to do my morning quigong routine. It is a must. The movements set my body ready to meet the day. The breathing and quietness fuels my brain and heart.

So here’s to my courage, patience and flexibility.

WHEN THE BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE

Posted on April 2, 2014 by hafong

I try so hard to do the proper thing at all times. I am such a serious person. Having fun doesn’t sit well with me. It makes me uncomfortable. I came by it honestly.

I was taught all the rules of etiquette:

Respect your elders
Say please and thank you
Never lie or cheat
Greet people when they come to your home
Say goodbye when they leave
Help another in need
Remember your family and friends
And so on and on

My mother is a bit of a perfectionist so it’s no wonder that I am, too. Her flower beds consist of plants in straight lines, as is her vegetable garden. I try to digress but eventually I came back to the straight lines. Everything seems to work better that way.

Whereas my mother is a neatnik, I am a slob. I seem to have inherit from my father as well. Though I fight that part with all my might, it is to no avail, of course. But my neatness comes out in different ways. When I am making cinnamon buns, I have to measure to see that the pastry is rolled out to be exactly 8″ x 15″. And I have to cut each bun 1″ thick. It is ridiculous to bring out my measuring tape to do so. But having each bun the same size matters to this rigid part of me.

But I am trying to be a little freer, letting go of rules. It does make me somewhat uncomfortable. But I say to myself, uncomfortable is only a temporary state. Let go. Live on the wild side. So nowadays my loaves of bread of not of equal size, nor are my cinnamon buns. I am a little squirmy inside. Sometimes I am a lot squirmy. But I am letting my butterflies fly free. I am not having fun yet but I feel some wings fluttering inside. It is a beginning.

REJUVENATION

Posted on April 1, 2014 by hafong

What a better day to celebrate and rejuvenate oneself than on April 1st, the beginning of a new month? Spring should be just around the corner, little green things should be shooting up from the ground. But Nature is having a laugh at us, playing an April Fool trick. The sky is grey. The ground cold, frozen and hard as a scorned woman’s heart. This is more reason to kick up one’s feet, raise some dust and maybe hell and shout: I AM ALIVE. CELEBRATE!

I can do it. I can be committed. I can be joyful and fun. I can still carry on. I can still do the cheerleader thing…hip, hip, hipooray! I can! I can! I can do The Ultimate Blog Challenge. Today is the first day of re-challenging myself – again. So what, if I stumble and fall again? I can get up and dust myself off and start again. Never give up!

LEST I BE MISUNDERSTOOD

Posted on March 31, 2014 by hafong

Through this period of Lent I have been putting an effort to keep my own council. It is not an easy thing for I am a talker and I tend to speak my mind. Speaking my mind hasn’t really worked for me. It’s like ‘I fought the world and the world won’.

Somehow I’ve always felt I’m a rebel. I’ve had more than one person say to me: Lily, only you would say what other people would only think. That has always puzzled and shocked me for I do not think I am a rude person. I do not tell people they are ugly or they stink. I do not even tell them when they are rude.

Would you not say that they are guilty of what they are accusing me of? And isn’t it rude to say that to my face? Trying my best to understand people and all their ways haven’t really worked for me either. It has only hurt my head and heart. It has also made me an angry person at times.

So my dears, I’m trying new ways. It’s not for me to know you if you want to be a mystery. I have reached and reached out to you, doing my part. I only ask you to meet me halfway. My dears, when I talk to you, I only want you to acknowledge you heard me, even if you don’t like what I said.

My dears, do you think that silence doesn’t speak. Well, if it doesn’t, body language speaks volumes. So does actions. And it is a bit of a curse I can read both of them. Ignorance can be bliss.

In this time, I am making a friend of silence. Only in silence can I learn what is important to me. Only in silence can I hear myself. In silence I can value myself just for myself. In silence I cannot be misunderstood.

FAILURES, FALLS

Posted on March 30, 2014 by hafong

For a few weeks in February, I biked the hilly streets of Lake Havasu in Arizona. I struggled up the streets, concentrating so hard I barely noticed the houses and yards. At the top, I would rest and gathered up my courage before I could take the steep plunge down. Each time I was sure I would take a tumble and fall. But I never did.

Back home on level ground, with both feet beneath me, I slipped and slid. My feet flew out beneath me. I hit the snow-covered ground. My head snapped up and then banged on the hard ice. My jaw opened and shut. I felt indescribable pain reverberating through my head. I moaned and writhed in the snow. I heard Sheba whimpered near me. I was sure I was dying but I didn’t.

Just now I tried a session of nail trimming/grinding with Sheba. She was good with the muzzle and leash, but no way was she going to have a pedicure. So I failed – today.

Tomorrow is another day. And I have as much spirit as my furry baby. It is a little worn out and limp lately. Life seems to be full of cares and people needing caring. But I know I still have it in me all the same. I can still rise and shine. I can triumph.

LIFE

Posted on March 29, 2014 by hafong

She felt her heart begin to heal once she touched the keyboard. The words fell from her fingertips. The tight band around her chest loosened. She could breathe again. She could feel again.

She sighs. Life is hard. Life is easy. You just have to breathe and be with the moment. The rest will take care of itself, one second at a time, one minute, a day, a week, a month. It will go on however you decide to make it.

I want life not to be hard but not easy either. It needs to be of challenge and hope.

STRUGGLES

Posted on March 20, 2014 by hafong

The day has broken. I struggle out of bed and struggle through my qigong routines. Such is life. How many mornings have I gotten out of bed now? And how many times have I done my qigong exercises? You think I would have perfected both that I could do them in my sleep!

But surprise and no surprise, it isn’t so. We never reach that perfection point of no struggle…while we are still breathing. Perhaps it is a good thing. Otherwise, we would stop reaching for the moon, the stars, for something better or just different. We would stop growing and developing into new possibilities.

And so I sigh and sip my coffee and suffer my little discomforts. I massage my sore tight spots. I breathe out my angst and inhale the goodness of the universe. I let go of my judgements and let in the love.

If I am to live in this world, I have to be of this world. We are all the same. We are the dancers. Our struggle is the dance. It matters how we dance. Let my dance be the tango.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

Tag Archives: life