Tag Archives: life

TRIUMPANT IN THE DESERT

Posted on by
4

IMG_6206

My time is coming to an end in the desert.  I have ridden its hills and valleys and have always stopped at the top, standing tall and triumphant.  What an accomplishment for this prairie girl!  But I do remember that I once was a mountain girl.  My village in China was named Mountain Top.

I am grateful for the blessings of the desert – the peace and stillness, the moon and stars, the magnificent sunsets, the sunshine and the warmth.  I will go home feeling rested, restored and comforted by nature’s arms.

I will remember my time in the desert, the place where I slowly learn to let go of all except for the present moment.  How difficult and easy it is at the same time…to stay here in this moment, however it is.  But I have learned to climb the mountains of elation and to face the canyons of my mind.  And I am still here, breathing and whole in the desert.

COLD IN THE DESERT

Posted on by
2

IMG_6141

I am cold this morning in the desert.  I tried to do my quigong outside but my breath would not come.  I could not be in the moment.  How could that be?

But I gave in and came into the warmth.  Then I was able to be somewhat one with my breath and finished my morning routine.  Ahhhhh!  Some relief.

I am learning to relax into the mysteries of the desert and life.  I am learning to embrace Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Whole Catastrophe Living – that it is about ALL of life, the good, bad, and ugly.  There is a reason for everything.

Slowly, I am quieting myself.  I am steadying myself, staying within myself with ease and not wandering out, lost in the desert.  I have trust in myself and the universe.

I am cool in the desert this morning.  I am missing the snow of home, Sheba’s happy face, our morning runs and hot chocolate after.  But I am getting warmer in the desert.  I am happy and content.

30 DAYS IN THE DESERT

Posted on by
9

IMG_6004

Though it is a month before Lent, it is no surprise nor an accident that I find myself in the desert.  I am once again lost in the wilderness, wandering up the lonesome road, trying to find my way, looking for my words.

I have lost my words these last while.  They have disappeared from my fingertips.  It is a struggle to recover and grasp them again.  It is not a bad thing to feel the silence and the stillness.  It is not a bad thing to sit, wait and to listen to the quiet.

There is time.  No need to rush.  No need to despair.  I have 30 days in the desert.  There is time to breathe, exhale, count my heartbeats and march to my own drum.  There is time to live,  love and gather the sacred sage.

STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT

Posted on by
22

P1040304

I remember a time when we were strangers in the night.

The night was dark but the moon and stars were bright.  They lit up the sky and the world for us.  We took the challenge and followed the path.  We rediscovered who we were and are to each other.

It felt strange.  There was no choice.  Our script was already written.  We had to play our parts.  We did not forget the past and the other players.  They added challenge, richness and texture to our lives.

The play is still on for it’s a part of God’s grand scheme.

 

100 Words on Saturday - Write Tribe

JUST ONE THING

Posted on by
5

IMG_5781

Life sometimes doesn’t start till 10 some mornings, or I should say most mornings lately.  The darkness presses down on me and I am happy to stay in bed, listening to Sheba being fed, smelling the rich aroma of coffee being made.  I snuggle deeper into the comforter.  What is there to do anyways in the dark?

I am unable to think or feel beyond the sensation of nothingness.  Of course it is impossible to stay in bed indefinitely.  One can get bored in the void.  I reason that there must be others like me.  I cannot be the only one.

So I sighed and threw back the covers and swung my legs over the edge.  The simple act of doing this one thing led to other things….getting dressed, brushing my teeth, washing my face.  In other words it led to what is call living.

Sometimes it takes a lot of effort of putting one foot in front of the other.  You have to train and practice until it becomes a habit.  After that you can put one foot in front of the other even when you think your life stinks.

It’s taken me a long time to get here.  I have cried and whined a river and an ocean.  But nobody can live my life for me except me so I have to haul my own ass out of bed, dress and show up every morning in person.  Man, it’s hard!

2014 – LOOKING FORWARD

Posted on by
2

IMG_1232

The mornings are still dark as night and my urge to rise and shine is low.  Even so I try to put my head and heart in their right space.  It’s 2014, a new year full of blank pages to be filled as I desire.  Sure, there are unforseen things and circumstances ahead but it is I who has to set the intentions of where I wish to go.

So let me look forward to 2014 and set my intentions for health, happiness and prosperity.  I KNOW that if I have my health, it will lead to the other two.  And what better time to renew my intention to practice the 4 Agreements than now?

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

Four seemingly simple statements but they are so powerful.  They can set me free.  So let me remember and return to them again and again.  I am but human and will falter again and again.  But I will always do my best.

THE CHANGING OF THE CLOTH

Posted on by
2

IMG_5794

Christmas is over.  My table is empty of food but my heart is full.  I have been silent this last while, resting and catching my breath.  It is not just from the holiday season but maybe from my whole life.

Sometimes it is good to be silent and let things be.  Let the dust of life settle on its own.  The picture might be clearer in the end.  But I can see that it’s slightly askew.  No matter.  It is still a pretty picture.  A little touch will straighten it out.  We all need those little touches.  We want those touches, those caresses, hugs and pats on the head.

The mornings are still so cold and dark even though the days are suppose to be getting longer.  In the darkness before I rise, dark thoughts come into my head.  I know they are not real and yet sometimes they drag me down.   I try not to linger in its gloom.  I get up and begin the routine of another day.

My qigong movements do not feel smooth and flowing.  It is difficult to be in the moment with the breath but I do my best anyways.  It is -30 C this morning but I put on my winter gear and head out of the door with Sheba in tow.  The sun is out, the air chilled but no wind.

And now, here I am, a cup of hot chocolate beside me, tap, tapping away.  I have found my voice again.  The darkness is gone and I am bathed in sunlight.  2013 is almost gone.  To welcome the new year, I have put out something new and bright.  It is the tradition of my ancestors.  Let us look forward to happiness and prosperity.  Gong Hey Fat Choy!

IMG_5796

REST

Posted on by
4

IMG_5790

I am still struggling with this cold of mine.  It is tiresome now and getting on my nerve!  I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and let it out.  Frustration never works.  It just hampers healing.  Though I resist it, rest is what I need.

I close my eyes and travel back to trying times in the past.  I remember when I struggle the hardest, in my stubborn non-yielding way, things got more difficult.  It is when I finally learn to surrender and open myself to the universe, that life became wondrous and magical again.

Everything is a circle.  What goes up will come down.  There will times of sadness and happiness.  There will be health and illness.  There will be darkness and light.  And this cold, too, shall pass, if I am willing.

I’D DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY

Posted on by
10

IMG_5149

It’s a glorious sunny morning.  Sheba and I are out on our daily morning run. It’s really a slow trot with a stop every half block.  It’s exhilarating.  I feel every cell in my being oxygenated and revived.  My spirit soars.

That’s what a little sun can do for me.  I savour the moment, feeling  pleasure all the way down to my toes.  I will remember this on those endless cloudy days when the sky is a grey blanket pressing down on me.  I can choose how I feel.  I will not just wish and say, I’d do things differently.

POSTCRIPT FROM THE LEDGE

Posted on by
Reply

IMG_3934You’ve made it to retirement and if you think you can just fall back into life again, guess again!

It’s not that easy.  The life you once knew is no more.  For one thing, you’ve grown up.  No, you’ve grown old – pensionable and pensioned.  You can no longer fit into a size 5, 7, or 9.  Even a 10 is stretching it.  Now you are breathless just bending over to tie up your boot laces.  What the hell happened here?

What happened to all my plans that I saved up for ‘when I retire’?  Not that I am bored with nothing to do.  I have too much to do but don’t know how to do it.  The world I knew has changed and I am hanging from the ledge.

Deep breath now.  Relax.  Remember that you are probably not alone.  You have the tools.  You have the words.  You can write your own script.  This life is but a dream and you are the dreamer.  So dream the life that is meant for you.  Be brave.  Be daring.  You are already on the ledge.  Be vulnerable.  Be true.  Be you.