ON TOP OF THE WORLD

Posted on April 16, 2014 by hafong

“I’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around
Your love’s put me at the top of the world”

Funny how photos trigger words and snatches of songs in my mind. That’s how I’m feeling looking at this picture of Sheba – on top of the world. The Carpenters got it perfectly. Sheba exemplifies perfect love.

No matter how long or short I’ve been gone, she is always exuberantly happy to see me on my return. She is never cross with me, except when I try to trim her nails, clean her ears or brush her undercarriage. But she forgets when it is over and never holds a grudge. With love like that, how can I not be on top of the world?

So what if I’m greeted by snow and grey skies first thing this morning? They will pass as all things do. So I am not feeling quite perky and ready to conquer the world but this, too shall pass. In the meantime, it makes a good excuse to cuddle up with my tea and book and just enjoy the slowness. Wars and battles can wait for another day. For today, I am happy sitting on top of my world watching Sheba play.

HUMOUR IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Posted on April 15, 2014 by hafong

Humour is the best medicine. How often have you heard that expression? When I’m drowning in my quagmire of angsts, I do not want to hear mention of it. I’m liable to wack you one if you suggest that.

However, if you are clever enough or clownish enough and can cause me to break out in uproarious, heehawing, guffawing laughter, it would probably disrupt my brain waves and bust me out of my misdemeanor. Is that the right word? No matter! It has the right sound.

Lacking humour and laughter, I’m having to resort to tapping out my mean and unrighteous feelings. Oh, how can people do such things? Oh, HOW could they? Have they no conscious? WHERE are their morals?

You know what? This is working! The demons in me are leaving through my fingerstips with each tap, tap on the keyboard. Hallelujah!

HOW WELL DOES MY GARDEN GROW

Posted on April 14, 2014 by hafong

Today is full of sunshine and promise of things to come. It looks like spring could spring into action any day now! It is time to think about my garden. How well it grows depends very much on how I tend it.

Will I have the patience and the consistency of maintaining it regularly – the watering, fertilizing and weeding throughout the season? Will I succumb to the setback of cooler than usual temperatures, bugs, and weeds? It’s a challenge all right.

Last year’s garden started out on a bright and green foot as you can tell by the picture. In the end, it was not so great. We got little for our harvest in the fall. But still – we had some fresh vegetables for the table.

It does no good to be discouraged. One has to have heart in life. I will tend to my thoughts as I will for the garden. I will be conscious of those nettles in the brain as well as those in the vegetable patch. They can take over if you don’t pay attention. Learn from the past mistakes and move on. Harvest and be thankful for whatever you can reap.

A DAY OF REST

Posted on April 13, 2014 by hafong

Sunday evening and I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, not one thought in my head, no idea at all for this post. Some days can be like that and it’s all good. Today after all is a day of rest.

It started out so full of promise and sunshine. I rejoiced and smiled. I settled myself in the love seat in the sunroom. I read a couple of chapters from a new romance. Oh, such luxury and indulgence, reading for just pure leisure. I sipped my tea. Life is good.

Sheba and I headed out for our gentle jog. We stopped at my mother’s along the way. Sheba thought that was great because she knows that she will get lots of attention and treats. We always had a good time at mom’s.

It started snowing on the way home – big fluffy flakes. The sun disappeared. It was not what we want but it was a pretty scene.

Life can be like that – unpredictable and disappointing at times. But still there is beauty and goodness in it. You have to roll along with the clouds and be ready to shine when the sun comes out.

WHEN THE GOING IS TOUGH

Posted on April 12, 2014 by hafong

The weather has not been kind in April. Once again, today is cold and grey with snow flurries in the morning. It’s another tough one.

But I got up, dressed up, fixed my bed head and showed up. I breathed and moved through my qigong routine, ate breakfast and cleaned up. Now what? How should I proceed?

Since it did not look pleasant outside, I decide maybe I should tackle the most difficult job first. It would not be easy or fun walking Sheba on leash in the cold and wind. So off to the park we drove. It was smaller but closer than our regular haunt. And it wasn’t pretty.

I’m sure Sheba did not care. It was some place where she can run free, romp and sniff her own kind.

When the going is tough, I have learned to be smarter and more flexible. Why set myself up for failure when an easier avenue is open? So here I am! I still have words and sun is shining. And my seedlings are transplanted, sitting under their sunlamp.

SMELLING THE FLOWERS

Posted on April 11, 2014 by hafong

As always a death announcement always makes one do a retake of one’s own life. This is especially when the deceased had just resigned from a job three or so weeks ago – James Flaherty, our former finance minister, age 64.

It’s a reminder for me that life is not forever and we have to live each and every day. We don’t have to wait till…it’s the right time, till we have enough money, till we retire. The right time is now. There are so many wonderful sweet things in life to explore and enjoy. They are right here, if we can open our eyes and see. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the worries and cares and forget the joys of doing.

Even though spring is late, the sky is grey and the way strewn with many a thorn, let me leap forward with joy and anticipation of what the day can bring. I can choose my actions and sometimes that can bring the emotions. Fake it till you make it! We’re talking about putting one foot in front of the other and walking the talk. Darn! I do talk too much. It still happens even when I vowed to do otherwise. Well, I am doing the best I can. And that is all I can ask of myself.

It is the 11th day of the challenge. I’m still here, writing, doodling, filling my page with words and pictures. Eleven days feel like a very l-o-n-g time. Maybe I shouldn’t count.

TIME IN A BOTTLE

Posted on April 10, 2014 by hafong

Today I got to thinking about time. Jim Croce’s song, ‘Time in a Bottle’, came to mind.

“If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away”

If you could, what would you do with it? What is time anyways? We’re always crying about there is not enough time to do what we want. And what do we want? It’s like asking what is happiness. Such nebulous questions with no answers!

It’s best that I move…on with the day. Time is ticking away as I am pondering upon misty and elusive things. There’s real concrete things that one has to deal with. And I do them one at a time. No multitasking for me today. I have the time and I am doing what I want. This is real life – no song in a bottle.

IN THE MEANTIME

Posted on April 9, 2014 by hafong

I knew as soon as I woke up today could be one of those achy, breaky days. It was grey and gloomy. The wind was blowing fierce. I did not want to get out of bed! But I knew that was no solution. It would take me back into the doldrums and I didn’t want to go.

What should a girl do? I have to get up, dress up and show up. From there, the day would take on a life of its own. That’s what I have learned from experience. The hardest part is the getting up. Why is that? Don’t you just sit up and swing your feet out and put them on the floor? It’s the same thing with hanging up your coat, putting away things and picking up things you drop. Sometimes I feel such inertia and I CAN’T or WON’T do it.

It is a good thing I AM committed to challenging myself this month. I will not fail on the 9th day in. That will be so embarrassing. That will be so, so. My words will mean nothing if I give up. The show must go on.

While I am waiting for the sun to show and the wind to subside, I will go on and do the best I can. I am running out of bread. It’s perfect weather for baking. The mixing and stirring is soothing. And while the dough is rising, I put on a pot of water and threw some soup bones in to make bone broth. It will build me up!

My spirit is lifting, my head is more clear. I think about my goals. What is it that I want? How is it and what is it to be happy? I have been trying to make a regular practice of meditation but it hasn’t happened. I haven’t been successful at sitting and being alert and doing nothing. Maybe I need another way – a ‘doing’ meditation of being in the moment.

I focus on doing one thing at a time, not rushing. I feel the dough as I am kneading it, its softness and smoothness. I concentrate on not being so rigid about making the loaves so exactly in equal size. What does it matter if one is a little bigger than the others? Why have I been so neurotic about things like that when it really doesn’t matter? I try to ask myself that question every time I’m in a similar situation. WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

It does snap me out of it and I can move on. It is time I stop wasting precious energy on bad habits and bad emotions. It is time I start to really get into living. Even when the going is tough and slow, you can still do a lot in the meantime.

ON THE EIGHTH DAY

Posted on April 8, 2014 by hafong

And so on this eighth day, I am rather weary. Challenges can be taxing. I’m assessing the situation and my energy to stay for the long haul. There are 22 more days to go. Having made strong statements and commitments, I have to go the distance. Doing my best each day is all I can ask of myself.

My aim from the start is to build on what I have accomplished each day. I do not want to regress. So far, so good. Each day I have gotten up, dressed up and showed up. The bed gets made. The dishes get done. The floors vacuumed of dog hairs. Some days, they are done better than other days. But it is the best that I can do at the time.

Some days I feel better, have more energy, more pumped and more profound. Other days, like today, I am not. But I put one foot in front of the other and move.

Look at how far I have come, one step at a time. And here I am, tap, tapping away at my keyboard, words spilling on the screen. I’m singing a song of hope and faith.

THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE

Posted on April 7, 2014 by hafong

What is the ultimate challenge? For many it would be happiness. And what does it mean to be happy? When I think about happiness, the Doctor Phil phrase, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” would pop up in my mind.

And to be honest, I would have to tell you that I would rather be right. It’s that puritanical, judgemental and stubborn streak in me. How can I possibly compromise my honesty and integrity?

So can you guess what my ultimate challenge is? It is not all about blogging every day in April. But the writing process helps. I need to balance myself so that I do not jeopardize my emotional and physical well being as well as my relationships because of this rigidity. Life really is too short for righteousness to rule me. What or who is right anyways? We all see through different eyes.

I know I CAN rise to this challenge. And what better time than spring to consciously work on goals and commitments?

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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