EVERY OTHER DAY

August 16 and 16th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It seems I can only show up every other day. Even that is difficult though I have so much good intentions. Now I’m showing up every 3rd day. The heat of this summer is very tiring. I try to do my best to show up where and when it is most important. I was sorely tempted not to show up for my exercise class today. But keeping fit is important for staying active. The class was in the morning and a good way to start the day. It would limber me up for work in the garden after. I bit the bullet, pack my bag and got in my car and went.

Hard things are not quite so hard when you have developed good habits/routines. I have been going to the YWCA for my aerobic class and swimming regularly for years. I know from experience that even though I start off feeling tired and not excited, I end up feeling great after. I have established set grooves which I can slip back into after falling off the wagon. I was glad I made the effort. It was a good class and an opportunity for a bit of socializing, an important thing in these times. It got me out of the house and onward to my day.

I have to admit I have periods of despondency with Covid and climate change. It doesn’t make me feel better knowing that we are all in this together. However, since this is what’s here and there’s nowhere to run, I am facing and accepting. There’s no alternative except to do the things I love and are passionate about. I am a minimalist by nature. I like to ‘make do’ and live frugally. Perhaps it’s from our life in Canada as an immigrant. We didn’t have alot of money. My father had to borrow money to bring my mother, sister and I over from Hong Kong. The money was like an insurance that we would not be a burden on the government.

We/I have always been self sufficient. My mother always had and still have a garden. I got the bug and other things from her. I love experimenting and trying new plants and ways of growing. They are endless. I get tired but I never get bored. I am often excited and awed by the wonder of growing things. It is so rewarding to see some of our harvest.

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS AND SQUASHES

No matter how I feel, I get up, dress up and show up has been my mantra for a couple of years now. Getting up and dressing up are not difficult any more. However, showing up is. The more I don’t make a showing, the harder it is to do so. Blue skies are here again but my blues haven’t quite lifted. Maybe they never will completely. Maybe I should not obsesse about my moods so much. I should live and let live.

Easier said than done. Everything takes a huge amount of effort and energy. At least I find it so. Each night I go to bed thinking of all the things I want to do the next day. With each morning, I fall into ‘after my cup of tea, breakfast, read this and that’. Then I will begin. Before I know it, it is almost lunch time and I have to bring out the pots and pans. I go on the same merry-go-round – again. Does this sound familiar?

I’m living Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day. I am ashamed of myself. I am not living up to my expectations and certainly not my potential. But at least I am showing up here today. I am trying. I’ve gotten over my bluer than blue mood. I am not so overwhelmed with grief for our burning planet. I am just being with the awareness, accepting and going forward with my best foot forward.

I try to count my blessings. I am taking an inventory of our garden and harvest. Considering the extremes and weirdness of our summer, we’ve done well.  Even with the heat and lack of rain the garden have given me 11 spaghetti and 10 butternut squashes and tons of Swedish beans. Isn’t that amazing? Considering I had a summer cold for a month, I was able to put in a full garden. True not everything did as well as the squashes and beans. But there was lettuce and spinach for salads. We had broccoli for a few meals, and enough snow peas for stir fries. Enough kohlrabi to make up for not so many tomatoes. Then there’s the chili peppers and……..

I’m rambling on and on. The sentences running into each other. The grammar something else. The words might not be making sense. I better call it quits. Till tomorrow then.

SEASONS – Day38 in a year of ….

Day 38, August 29, 2016 @6:39 pm

imageThe day finds me struggling a little with the changing season. The shift of the earth on its axis, changing the temperature, sunlight, the wind, the everything. Sometimes I forget that change is all around us, every minute, every second of every day.

I am just learning to embrace all these changes. Without them there is no life. I rejoice in the bounty autumn has brought. I am reaping the harvest from the seeding and planting of the previous seasons. I have much to be thankful for. What are you thankful for?

Till tomorrow.

UNRAVELLING THE PAST INTO THE NOW

IMG_2257Some days I’m a bit melancholy – maybe a left-over feeling from childhood days when we were new immigrants.  Can an eight year old feel lost and displaced in Gold Mountain(Canada)?  Where was the gold? In my child’s mind I had expected to see a land filled with colourful balloons and lollypops. There was neither.  It was puzzling.

 

IMG_2270I felt the smallness of our town, the dirt streets and the emptiness. I felt the smallness of me.  What I remembered the most was the loneliness of my mother.  I did not recognized it as such at the time but rather felt it. I was probably equally as lonely.  We were far away from home and our extended family.  We did not know the language.

It was so many years ago.  Was my memory correct?  Was it true?  Or was it distorted by the clouds, a sleepless night and the moody blues?  The thinking mind can be so deceptive. I have sunnier memories of other days when my mother recount stories from her childhood, of her siblings, her parents and China.  I have a rich and colourful heritage, one to be proud of.

unravelling_300pxI am dusting off the cobwebs and debris of my mind.  I am sweeping them out the door. I’ve finished  unravelling 2014 and now ready to tackle 2015 of Susannah Conway’s Unravelling the Year Ahead.  When I am feeling discouraged, it helps to look back at the seeds I have sown and the rewards reaped the past year.  I have not done a small thing.  Life is not a small thing, but it is made up of many little things.

The evening is here.  There is no sun to set. The day is done.  Time to put thinking aside and rest on my laurels.

 

HOW WELL DOES MY GARDEN GROW

IMG_0303Today is full of sunshine and promise of things to come.  It looks like spring could spring into action any day now!  It is time to think about my garden.  How well it grows depends very much on how I tend it.

Will I have the patience and the consistency of maintaining it regularly – the watering, fertilizing and weeding throughout the season?  Will I succumb to the setback of cooler than usual temperatures, bugs, and weeds?  It’s a challenge all right.

Last year’s garden started out on a bright and green foot as you can tell by the picture.  In the end, it was not so great.  We got little for our harvest in the fall.  But still – we had some fresh vegetables for the table.

It does no good to be discouraged.  One has to have heart in life.  I will tend to my thoughts as I will for the garden.  I will be conscious of those nettles in the brain as well as those in the vegetable patch.  They can take over if you don’t pay attention.  Learn from the past mistakes and move on.  Harvest and be thankful for whatever you can reap.