Tag Archives: procrastination

How to do Anything

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I set my goal to change habits in this merry month of May. It would help if I identify those habits that I want to change. One is that is almost universal is procrastination. Today, I finally tended to an email notifying my GIC is almost up for renewal. Well, I was too late. It matured. It didn’t rolled over as I thought it might. It was cashed into my savings acount. In this case it was a good thing. I had intentions of moving it to a different bank. I did not like this bank’s service. Perhaps my account was too small for them to give me much attention. I was ignoring and procrastinating on making a change. This time it was done for me. I am going to use this as momentum in keep moving what I can when I can. There’s no reason to tolerate bad service.

Another bad habit I want to work on is to stop sagging. Some days when my spirit sags, the whole of me do so at the same time. It’s not a good way to be. No matter what, the world keeps revolving. I have to do the same. I do not have to let everybody know how I feel. I can still smile, greet people and carry on as best as I can for the moment. I still need to get up, dress up and show up. There’s a multitude of resources on how to do just about anything. I’m good at checking out resources. It’s another to actually putting them into use. I’m working on that now.

I’m not sagging too badly today because I felt it coming. I want to put a stop to it. When I feel saggy I get up and do something small and easy. I’ve tended to the procrastination. I was too late but I’ve learned from it. Don’t think too much. Just do. I’ve thought out what we will have for lunch. I was feeling overwhelmed with how much gardening there is. I decided not to let my ‘feelings’ drain my energy. Instead I will start to plant a bit in the afternoon and see where it will take me. I’ve done it many times before. What won’t get done/succeed today will happen another time. Take one thing/step at a time. Just give it my best and learn from it.

These Moments

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I took a 2 day vacation from the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My income tax return was calling me with urgency. I was not keen but I knew it was best that I gave it my undivided attention. I’m glad that I did. I am now breathing easier. I knew from past experience it was not a terribly hard or lengthy process. Still, I go through these moments annually with it AND often with other issues. These moments of feeling impending boom – from putting off, procrastinating,thinking of the worst possible scenarios.

I haven’t push the review and optimize and send buttons yet. I’m there but I am still procrastinating. At least the feelings of dread are lighter. I’ve gone through piles of papers the last 2 days. I’ve investigated how long I need to keep certain documents and made a pile for shredding. My head feels better, not as fuzzy and befuddled. I saw that I was organized once upon a time. At some point, I dropped the ball. I do not berate myself. Life is hard. These last couple of years have been very hard. I’ve done the best I could. Some things are more important than others. I prioritized.

I’m still experiencing some of these moments. This morning I got lost in scrolling through news of our federal election. I skipped my morning meditation and writing my morning pages. I realize I could lose my whole day scrolling through this and that. It’s a time waster but somehow it is a soother. I used my will power to curb my instinct and looked towards other more useful means of pacifying myself. I got off my butt and washed the dishes by hand. I found the physical act of washing by hand calming and have been doing it for awhile. Next was the dust mop on the kitchen floor and sweeping up the crumbs form our meals.

Now, I am tapping out the last words for the second last day of this challenge. I feel it is important to finish what I had started.

Distraction and Avoidance

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Though I’ve read alot of self help books, it hasn’t helped at all in the area of procrastination. I’m easily distracted. Instead of doing the most difficult thing first, which is writing this post, I’ve wandered through the pages of Psychology Today Magazine, the November issue. What caught my interest in the first place was an article on Do the Most Difficult Thing First.

The important points being:

  • Do the difficult things first so that you don’t procrastinate and make it hard when it’s not.
  • Do the hard thing first so it no longer feels hard.
  • Do the difficult thing as early as possible in life so that when real hardship comes, it is tolerable.
  • Make the difficult thing meaningful. Avoidance is a hallmark of perfectionism. “If I don’t make a move, I won’t make a mistake“, is my very thought. Sometimes I hold my breath thinking it.

Avoidance is thought central to anxiety and depression. It can prevent us from developing resilience and coping mechanisms in times of stress. Luckily the same issue offers help in 9 Ways to Overcome Adversity. This issue is a good read with many interesting and helpful articles. I am not sorry I was distracted. I will put them into active use.

50 Ways of Leaving

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Paul Simon’s 50 Ways of Leaving Your Lover has been playing in my head lately. It’s August and I’m moody again, or still. It is one of the things I like to leave behind. But Simon does not really give you 50 ways of leaving. I counted only 3. What a liar.

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
Ooh, slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

It is possible to leave a lover but unfortunately it is not so easy to leave myself. I yam who I yam, says Dr. Seus. But I could make a new plan. I’ve been trying to do that for how long now? Procrastination is another thing that I want to leave. The thing is I’ve been slipping out the back and hopping on the bus for a long time. Now I have to stop and make a new plan. How often have I said that already? It’s hard to believe myself. I am getting quite angry over it plus other things I don’t want to bring to light.

Anger can be a good catalyst to blast me out of my moodiness and procrastination. It got me out the door and tackled the creeping bellflower problem in my front yard. It is amazing how much energy it gave me. In less than an hour, I pulled a few of those creepy bellflowers and poured a bag of last year’s leaves and a bag of smelly grass clippings over the bad areas. Now it is looking like this. Not too bad, eh?

I’ve found a good article on how to stop procrastination. Not that I haven’t read anything on the subject before, but….At least I’ve written this post. Have been trying for days. I have paid insurance policy on the house and registered for an online class – President’s Lecture Series: Curing the World’s Diseases. These are a few things I’ve done to feel good about. I’m not totally stagnant.

UBC Day 8 – Daily Struggle

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I got caught by the procrastination bug. I am now just sitting down to my keyboard. It was easier to delay than fight my lassitude. Now time is running out. It is a must or bust. Can I write something out of nothing? Things seem to work better mornings. I work better mornings. My head is better, free of the day’s debris. Why is it that I don’t do my writing in the morning?

Though I can face a blank index card, draw and paint a picture, it’s harder with works and a blank screen. So I dilly dally, fooling, telling myself I will get to it after this and that. By the time when I’m finally here, the ideas and thoughts I had are gone. I am left scratching my head, moaning ‘why didn’t I do this sooner.’ It is worth remembering that old wise saying ‘No use crying over spilt milk.’

I am not crying but feeling rather ‘unfriendly’ and ‘unpleasant’. It is apt that I’m sitting here sipping bitter melon tea. It is pleasant and cool out here on the deck and still fairly light at 9:30 in evening. I shall sit here with the evening and listen to the Saturday night traffic for awhile. Though it is frustrating, I do love the struggle of writing. What a miracle it is to have words to spill onto the page/screen. They can paint pictures and feelings. They can tell stories. Where would we be without them?

JUST DO IT!

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I hate it that I’m such a clutter bug. I’m always misplacing things. I waste alot of time and get into such a snit searching for the lost. They eventually are found. I’ve made many vows on doing better, getting organized with a place for everything. I don’t vow any more because so far that hasn’t worked. What I want to do is just DO IT! I can succeed if I do it a little, even just an inch at a time.

I had lost the clipper that I use in the greenhouse 2 days ago. I looked high and low. No success. It’s so annoying but I try to let it go after each search. I do try to figure out why it is so irksome when I have 3 other pairs I could use. I searched again this morning with no success. I tried not to mutter my irritation. No success either. The guy heard. He came back in on his way to his workshop to tell me he found my clippers in the greenhouse. They were under my work gloves. Sometimes we just need a different pair of eyes. Now I wish he could spot my root stimulating powder. But I’m not wasting more time in searching. The plant cuttings will have to root or not in water.

It looks like we are heading into some frosty temperatures in a couple of days. I will have to get my ass in gear and plant my bulbs this afternoon. I have to remind myself not to order any more bulbs next year. They know what they are doing when they send out fall seed catalogues in middle of summer. I am enticed with all those flowering bulbs. It seems like a such good idea when it is warm. Come late September when I get my shipment, I’m disgusted with myself. What was I thinking of? I am tired from all that planting, watering, weeding, harvesting and perserving. Then there’s the cleanup of plant material, chopping them up and throwing them into the compost bins. What I dislike the most is gathering up all the plant containers, trays and pots to put away.

No point in wasting time and energy disliking and procrastinating either. I better save them for doing the jobs at hand. I’ve just harvested my cabbage and the rest of the cayenne peppers. I’m defrosting lunch while I’m sipping my cuppa and finishing up here. Have a good day.

HOW TO GET ANYTHING DONE

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Friday. The sun came out. The temperature went up. It’s 26℃ and the wind is blowing at 47 km/hour. Super crazy, eh? from a cloudy cool 17℃ of yesterday. It is what it is. My body is liking today better than yesterday. I’m taking an extra strength Tylenol tid, that is 3 times a day to help me roll with the punches. No matter how I feel, I want to move and get some things done. That’s another challenge I’ve adopted. If I feel lousy not doing anything, I might as well do something and have something to show for my suffering.

Procrastination and avoidance have their own pain. They don’t work. They’re like the elephant in the room, weighing heavy on the back of my mind. I’m going to put on my thinking cap. Maybe I can conjure up a workable manual on how to get anything done. A good starting point is to identify what it is that I want done. Then I need to identify what steps I need to take to accomplish that task. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Apparently not, for me.

I’m sick and tired of how I’ve been. I find it hard to do stuff. I fret, fuss and feel totally uncomfortable, not wanting to get to the task and not knowing how and where to start. I think and worry about the whole enchilada. It’s one huge blob/problem in my mind. No wonder I feel overwhelmed and run away. I made a new start today. NO MORE OVERWHELM. I had an hour this morning before heading out to our exercise class. I asked myself, What do I want to do with that time? I had plans of doing more seeding. The seed packs had been sitting on the dining table for a few days now. I willed myself to the task. I willed myself to put the seed packs away after. It didn’t take all that long. I had time to plant a few left over peas I had sprouted awhile back.

It’s a small step in the right direction. I have to keep asking myself, what do I want to get done. Then I need to think of each step I need to take. I also need to stop having a cuppa/break before I do anything. I need to do first and then have a cuppa. As you may have gathered, I have many cuppa in a day.

FALLING IN LOVE and FIRED UP

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I have not done well at all. I am sorely disappointed in myself. I am still stuck in all my bad habits, all my clutter and procrastination. I am reluctant to move, change and get rid of anything, even worries. There’s a certain security that I feel in being stagnant even though it causes a gnawing discomfort. Being disgusted with oneself is not such a bad thing. It moved me to pick up my phone and make the needed appointment to get my car serviced. It was as hard as the medical and dental checkups and the call to the plumber. And it is hard to come to this space, too. I’ve fallen out of the habit.

The above words were written more than a few days ago. Bad habits like procrastination are hard to overcome. Wishing does not do the trick. I have to physically do the work. I had fallen back in love with words reading Geneen Roth’s cancer chronicles. I thought it would do the trick in bringing me back here. I thought I could write my own chronicles. I was fired up for a few short moments. I didn’t act on it and the momentum died. That is the thing – I have to take advantage of those falling in love and fired up moments. I needed to put my ass in the chair in front of the keyboard. I’m here finally, not exactly fired up, but my fingers are tapping away.

That dreaded car service appointment turned out quite beneign. There was no Oh, my God! at the end. I took advantage of being out to be out and about while waiting. The guy and I took a trip out to Chief Whitecap Park (Furdale Dog Park) for a walk in nature. It was Sheba’s old haunt in her younger years. I took her there every day I was off from work to run off some of her energy. It is full of beauty and memories. Sheba is gone now but she is with me always, trotting at my side. I feel her presence vividly along the trails, on the beach and the hill sides. On the way back, we stopped at Hue’s Art Supplies to view Degen Linder’s works in the gallery. It was a day well spent. I have fallen back in love with the doing and seeing in the physical world. It’s good to get out of my head.

CURSING THROUGH MY MUST-TO-DOS

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Can you hear me muttering and cursing through cyberspace? That’s right, the morning was committed to my paper clutter. “The time has come,” the walrus said, “to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships – and sealing wax – of cabbages and kings”. It was time for me to dispense with my excuses and deal with my dreads but must-to-dos. 

So much of my life seems to be wrapped up in paperwork – in triplicates. I hang on to every copy, every bits of paper, afraid I will lose something of great importance. Even though we have the internet, emails and e-statements, they still have to be opened, read, filed or deleted. So far I haven’t mastered the ins and outs of keeping on top of the real or virtual paper stuff.

There’s no better time than the present to work on it. First thing first. I dealt with the 2 letters that came yesterday. One needed a phone call to clear up. The next was regarding the house insurance due August 15th. I need some information back from my broker before making payment. It can wait. Then it was reconciling my receipts with my credit cards statement. That accomplieshed, I went on to phone to the telephone company to change my method of payment. Last was setting up online banking for an account set up 3 years ago. I have been such a procrastinator.

paperI still have much to stuff to sort through. I will not waste time trying to understand why or how I got this way. I have pondered upon all these many times before. Instead, I will handle and deal with the mail, real and virtual, daily. I have said this many times before. I know I could lapse. It is something that I will have to work at again and again. It’s like the dishes, meditation and other things. Some things are tedious and boring but they still need tending. It’s like the weeds in the garden, brushing teeth morning and night, dressing in the morning, going to the gym….

WEEKEND MUTTERINGS

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I’ve never ever found an optimum time for doing anything or an easy time for starting something. Truth be told, I’m a daydreamer, a doodler, lounger, wistful thinker. In short I’m a procrastinator, trying to hold life at bay. What is this fear of starting and living?, I ask myself. I have no clue, no inkling of an idea but just this physical discomfort of not wanting to commit. Laugh if you will but we all know that he who laughs first, laughs last. I am sure you have that procrastinator in you, too. Only you haven’t recognized yourself in the mirror.

I see myself as molasses in winter mode. It is cool this morning. I see my little cucumber plants shivering in the raised bed in the front yard. First the heat. Now the chill. I hope they make it. I’ve never had much luck with them except for one year. Now that’s something to aim for. Something to get my juices flowing and off my butt. It takes patience and persistence to succeed at anything. My cyclamen is such a testament. I gave it the attention it needed. I don’t have a steady supply of that either. It comes in sporatic spurts. I’m not good when the going gets tough. Sometimes I abandon ship. Now that’s another thing to work on.

It’s another morning. I’ve clearly abandoned ship yesterday before finishing this conversation. I’m going through a spell. I’m lacking motivation. Nothing turns me on but I’m working on it. I feel as if I can’t even get myself out of a wet paper bag. Sometimes I just have to put in the effort as if I do love it, whether I feel it or not.  That’s life. What is it that gets you up and going? What are your secrets for joie de vivre? What keeps you on the job till it’s finished?

I’m sipping on my cuppa, my favourite diversion for not doing. I’m glued to my chair but at least I am flexing my fingers, tapping on the keyboard. I’m trying to stay awake, thinking of how to overcome my inertia, how not to feel overwhelmed about our climate crisis. What else can I do not to contribute to the carbon footprint? How can I get outside of myself to help the world I live in. These are some of my thoughts on this sunny cool June morning. Perhaps I can bake some rhubarb crisp to warm up. I’ve been making rhubarb sour cream muffins the last 2 days but I’ve run out of sour cream.