I hate it that I’m such a clutter bug. I’m always misplacing things. I waste alot of time and get into such a snit searching for the lost. They eventually are found. I’ve made many vows on doing better, getting organized with a place for everything. I don’t vow any more because so far that hasn’t worked. What I want to do is just DO IT! I can succeed if I do it a little, even just an inch at a time.

I had lost the clipper that I use in the greenhouse 2 days ago. I looked high and low. No success. It’s so annoying but I try to let it go after each search. I do try to figure out why it is so irksome when I have 3 other pairs I could use. I searched again this morning with no success. I tried not to mutter my irritation. No success either. The guy heard. He came back in on his way to his workshop to tell me he found my clippers in the greenhouse. They were under my work gloves. Sometimes we just need a different pair of eyes. Now I wish he could spot my root stimulating powder. But I’m not wasting more time in searching. The plant cuttings will have to root or not in water.

It looks like we are heading into some frosty temperatures in a couple of days. I will have to get my ass in gear and plant my bulbs this afternoon. I have to remind myself not to order any more bulbs next year. They know what they are doing when they send out fall seed catalogues in middle of summer. I am enticed with all those flowering bulbs. It seems like a such good idea when it is warm. Come late September when I get my shipment, I’m disgusted with myself. What was I thinking of? I am tired from all that planting, watering, weeding, harvesting and perserving. Then there’s the cleanup of plant material, chopping them up and throwing them into the compost bins. What I dislike the most is gathering up all the plant containers, trays and pots to put away.

No point in wasting time and energy disliking and procrastinating either. I better save them for doing the jobs at hand. I’ve just harvested my cabbage and the rest of the cayenne peppers. I’m defrosting lunch while I’m sipping my cuppa and finishing up here. Have a good day.


Happy Fourth of July to my American family and friends.

It’s a hot one today.  Nothing like a dripping tap, broken toilet and a mentally ill neighbour having an episode in the morning to set my teeth on edge for the day.  A slow Internet on an even slower PC isn’t helping my disposition any.  But I am hanging in there.  I am determined to make the month as per status quo.  I breathe, drop my shoulders, clear my mind.  I close down the browser, shut the computer off and restarted everything.  Success!

IMG_0904I left the computer running as is.  I needed time and space to get into the zone.  There were no words in my crowded, messy and frustrated brain – no transmission possible to my finger tips.  They could not tap out anything no matter how nimble and willing they were.

Out came the vacuum and I am now happy to say the air and floor are much clearer of dirt and Sheba’s dog hair.  The AC has been running.  It is cooler.  My edges are smoother.  I haven’t yelled at anyone.  My fingers are happily flexing their muscles.  I wonder if they have a story to tell.

I’ve been a slob, clutter bug forever and a day.  It’s a story I’ve been obsessed with and told for decades.  Maybe I should change the story for it no longer serves me.  So let me tell it one last time and then forever hold my peace.

It was a class in Grade 1 or 2 when we were living in Hong Kong.  The teacher requested our parents to send a note stating our worst habit.  We all dutifully brought our notes to the teacher.  When my name was called, I had to stand up.  The teacher read my mother’s note which said that I do not pick up after myself.  I drop things, like paper and leave them on the floor.

show & tellThe class was, in essence, like Show and Tell.  My mother probably did not know what the teacher was going to do with the information.  I didn’t.  She read the note out loud while I was standing up beside my desk.  Then in a very authoritarian and loud voice she said my name:  LEUNG HAFONG! and proceeded to tell me to mend my ways.  Then:  SIT DOWN!  I felt crushed.  Tears stung my eyes, but I did not cry.  I was a stubborn and willful child.  I clamped down inside.

Who knows if that did me more harm than good.  But now I am done with the clutter bug story.  I am done with being that willful child.  I do not have to be a willful and stubborn adult.  I can let go.  I no longer need that clamp.

It is the Fourth of July.  We are all free!