Tag Archives: tax return

Christmas in April

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The wait is over. The snow came in the night and will still come till late this afternoon. It’s another Christmas in April. Traffic was heavy and slow this morning. I almost fell asleep in the car going to the gym. I wasn’t driving. Needless to say, the gym was fairly empty. I felt proud of myself for not slacking off.

I am proud, too, for completing my tax return and paying what I owe. The weight of avoidance and procrastination lifted. I feel so much better and lighter. I vow from now on to keep on top of my paper stuff by developing a better filing system. I will open mail and deal with them as they come. I tend to collect and hoard and not open. I think I have fear of opening and dealing with mail. It is odd, I know. I am odd. That, I know, too.

It is rather pretty with the falling snow flakes. It is not that cold. Everything is white and pristine. The snow peas, radish, spinach and lettuce seem to love the cool temperature of 4.6℃ in the greenhouse. The seedlings aren’t complaining either. I set a pail outside to catch the snow for water. It saves shoveling. There’s an upside to everything. And I’m still here on this 24th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

A Reset

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Photo by Jose Antonio Gallego Vu00e1zquez on Pexels.com

I can only handle my negative, grumpy depressive self for so long. Then I have to turn myself off and reset, hoping to get a more positive and cheery mood. I do have one rant for today. Why does Donald Trump demand that Iran can never have a nuclear weapon. It is the country that is being attacked by the U. S. and Israel. Both these countries and others have nuclear weapons. Why not drop some bombs on them? It’s my simple mind asking a simple question.

I’m feeling a little more positive and not quite so grumpy. I can let go a little on the Iranian war and the Epstein files. I am tired, mentally and physically but I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve felt I’ve been in a tunnel, struggling in the dark the past 2 years. I can let go of the struggle and try to appreciate the joys that are here right in front me.

My bitter melon seeds have sprouted, all 8 of them. I am programming for a large harvest so I have enough for our coffee friends at the mall. The Chinese greens have emerged in the greenhouse along with the spinach and lettuce. It’s an indication of more good things to come. Meanwhile downstairs, my Bernina 790 is waiting to be fired up and get going with my log cabin quilt squares. My palette has been idled for over a year. The paints are probably dried. I hope the liner is not moldy and rotting.

It is time for a rescue, cleaning and resetting of everything. Too many dust balls in corners of my head and everywhere. The deadline for the hateful tax return is looming nearer and nearer. I have to move my ass to find all those annoying pieces of paper and put them together. It’s my own small private war every year. I have no time to waste.

These Moments

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I took a 2 day vacation from the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My income tax return was calling me with urgency. I was not keen but I knew it was best that I gave it my undivided attention. I’m glad that I did. I am now breathing easier. I knew from past experience it was not a terribly hard or lengthy process. Still, I go through these moments annually with it AND often with other issues. These moments of feeling impending boom – from putting off, procrastinating,thinking of the worst possible scenarios.

I haven’t push the review and optimize and send buttons yet. I’m there but I am still procrastinating. At least the feelings of dread are lighter. I’ve gone through piles of papers the last 2 days. I’ve investigated how long I need to keep certain documents and made a pile for shredding. My head feels better, not as fuzzy and befuddled. I saw that I was organized once upon a time. At some point, I dropped the ball. I do not berate myself. Life is hard. These last couple of years have been very hard. I’ve done the best I could. Some things are more important than others. I prioritized.

I’m still experiencing some of these moments. This morning I got lost in scrolling through news of our federal election. I skipped my morning meditation and writing my morning pages. I realize I could lose my whole day scrolling through this and that. It’s a time waster but somehow it is a soother. I used my will power to curb my instinct and looked towards other more useful means of pacifying myself. I got off my butt and washed the dishes by hand. I found the physical act of washing by hand calming and have been doing it for awhile. Next was the dust mop on the kitchen floor and sweeping up the crumbs form our meals.

Now, I am tapping out the last words for the second last day of this challenge. I feel it is important to finish what I had started.

Hallelujah!

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I’ve done my income tax and I get a refund. It’s a good reason to sing Hallelujah with K. D. Lang. It’s my favourite rendition of Leonard Cohen’s song. K. D. in barefeet and no ads on the video either. What a treat! I want to do a Lia hallelujah pumping my arms. Hallelujah, hallelujah!

I like to do another rendition of her when time permits. My tax return has been sitting heavy on me for the last month or so. That’s the whole trouble. I allowed it to sit on me, weighing me down, gnawing on me. I couldn’t or didn’t want to do anything until time was running out. I was frozen with dread and procrastination.

The weight is lifted. I am left with a headache. I hope I can learn from this and get my act together. I have a pile of paper crap to sort, shred and rid. I will not say never again. It didn’t work many times before. Saying it will not help. I will save my breath and try something else – another day. I’m keeping it simple on day 25 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

PING! GOES MY HEAD

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I’m feeling somewhat euphoric. I’ve double checked my tax return and pushed the SEND button and made my payment electronically. I made a new folder (Taxes) on my Mac desktop, downloaded a copy of the return and dropped it into the folder. PING! I’m finally getting the hang of letting go, emptying and organizing. I was so excited that I did more cleanup of my Mac desktop. It’s still needs some work, but I’ve organized items into folders. I hope it will be easier to find things now. At least it looks neater and not so cluttered. Enough for now. Time to take a break and take Sheba for her walk.

It’s another windy day in Saskatoon. Good to see the city crew doing street cleaning, ridding some of the dust. I cleaned the yard of Sheba’s poop after our walk. Now I am pooped. I had to resusatate myself with a decaf and half a toasted baguette. I’m practicing restraint, hoping to look svelte for summer. I won’t be aiming for bikini thin, but something short of that is okay at this stage in my life. I think I’m starting to talk like Kinsey Millhone, a character in Sue Grafton’s alphabet series. I was indulging myself with a few pages of I is for Innocent with my decaf and baguette. Now I’m sleepy as all get out.

I’m probably a little overwhelmed by my progress. Such a great feeling! Everything working out. I feel like singing, At last, at last. Life is indeed like a song, Miss Etta.