Friday. The sun came out. The temperature went up. It’s 26℃ and the wind is blowing at 47 km/hour. Super crazy, eh? from a cloudy cool 17℃ of yesterday. It is what it is. My body is liking today better than yesterday. I’m taking an extra strength Tylenol tid, that is 3 times a day to help me roll with the punches. No matter how I feel, I want to move and get some things done. That’s another challenge I’ve adopted. If I feel lousy not doing anything, I might as well do something and have something to show for my suffering.
Procrastination and avoidance have their own pain. They don’t work. They’re like the elephant in the room, weighing heavy on the back of my mind. I’m going to put on my thinking cap. Maybe I can conjure up a workable manual on how to get anything done. A good starting point is to identify what it is that I want done. Then I need to identify what steps I need to take to accomplish that task. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Apparently not, for me.
I’m sick and tired of how I’ve been. I find it hard to do stuff. I fret, fuss and feel totally uncomfortable, not wanting to get to the task and not knowing how and where to start. I think and worry about the whole enchilada. It’s one huge blob/problem in my mind. No wonder I feel overwhelmed and run away. I made a new start today. NO MORE OVERWHELM. I had an hour this morning before heading out to our exercise class. I asked myself, What do I want to do with that time? I had plans of doing more seeding. The seed packs had been sitting on the dining table for a few days now. I willed myself to the task. I willed myself to put the seed packs away after. It didn’t take all that long. I had time to plant a few left over peas I had sprouted awhile back.
It’s a small step in the right direction. I have to keep asking myself, what do I want to get done. Then I need to think of each step I need to take. I also need to stop having a cuppa/break before I do anything. I need to do first and then have a cuppa. As you may have gathered, I have many cuppa in a day.
It’s harder to stare at a blank screen than a blank canvas. With a painting, one can always throw some paint onto the paper or canvas. If it does not look at anything, you can call it abstract. But how do you do an abstract post? Maybe I can just mumble away and hope for the best. I’ve been absent from the keyboard too long. Words and thoughts are hard to come by. I can blame it on Convid and the restrictions restricting me from having experiences. Therefore I have nothing to write about. While I’m at it I like to blame Justin Trudeau, the CBC and the Star Phoenix, too. I hate to take responsibility for my own actions of doing or non-doing.
The Ultimate Blog Challenge is coming up in a week. I have to write a post a day for the month. I better smarten up and get with the program. Tax Return is also due in a month. I haven’t opened all my mail for my T4s or 5s or what-have-you. I keep saying I will do it tomorrow. Of course tomorrow never comes. I don’t know why it feels so hard to get going. I wonder if that’s what spring fever is. Sometimes I do feel all afrenzied but I can’t do anything. Why does it always happen to me. Poor me!
The only thing I can do is have another cuppa and snack. You know what will happen eventually. I will get big as a house. I will throw up my hands and say, How the hell did this happen? I better snap out of this PDQ. I better get a program. I better get a routine. I better make a list every day. All I have to do is show up here every day and write something. It doesn’t have to be cerebral. It doesn’t have to be long. It does have to be engaging though because otherwise what is the point. As for my Tax Return, I can find and open a few pieces of mail a day. There’s still 7 days left in March. It is possible to gather them all together by April. That will leave me 30 days to work on it.
There, I have a plan/program! I will start or I should say I have started. This post is almost written. It is not abstract. I have defined 2 concrete actions. I remember reading something about how to get things done. You have to figure out what you want done. Then you have to outline how you are going to get it done. This post won’t win any awards but I think it’s dang good. It got me unstuck and going.
The trick with getting anything done is making a beginning. Elementary, my dear, you say. It is at that but a very important elementary point. So we’ve begun, Sheba and I. It is 2:59, not quite 3:00 pm. She rises and whimpers. I said no. Down. She does. We are both sitting, she on all fours, me on the chair. We will wait it out. The minute passes. She rises on her fours. I continue to sit and tap. Patience is a virtue. So is discipline.
I could easily become a hermit given my disposition and inclinations. I know very well it is not healthy to isolate myself socially. I was also brought up and trained to to live properly. Those things have saved me from myself. I always try to do the right thing or else it would nag at me. Even having bad improper thoughts gnaw at my conscience. I could never be a thief but I have sinned.
Sheba passed her test. 3:10 and I reward her with her supper. She is getting it. Obedience and Patience = food. I’m getting it, too. Consistency and Patience = success. Our successes comes slowly and in increments, sometimes sliding back and forth. The furry princess tries and does get on my nerve in the afternoons. At 11 years old she is still full of vim and vinegar. After eating, she energetically humps her bed. Then she wants to play, insisting that I play toss her squeaky toys with her. What a mad house! I lose my patience.
That’s how it is at our house. Most mornings I’m not geared up or look forward to doing anything. Today is a Wednesday, an exercise day. I have breakfast, pack my gym bag, vacuum a room or two and head off to the YWCA. I’m trained by habit and routine. It’s not a big deal or painful as in the beginning. Some ruts are healthy. It get things done. I repeat this every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Sometimes I bored myself writing every day. What could I possibly have to say – every day. It’s a discipline I want to keep up – within reason, of course. It gives me clarity and direction. I hope I am not boring you. I write mostly for myself but I do appreciate the support and readership. I’m now pushing and struggling to increase the length and the quality of my writing. I’m doing the best I can. Today is not a day when words flow. They come slowly after much thought.
Another daily practice I’m doing is my art. It has been dormant many, many years. It came alive last year much to my own surprise. It has been mostly talk on my part. You know how it goes. It’s my passion but I was too this and that – all the usual excuses. It takes very little time to pick up a pencil or a paint brush and art. So that’s what I do every day, a little practice. It takes minutes sometimes, an hour another day. The thing is to begin and do it. I admit starting can be difficult. I just do it.