Author Archives: hafong

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About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.

CEREMONIES/RITUALS – a season for everything

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It is August 13 and day 13th of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. As usual of late, I am having difficulty finding the words. My brain is in a fog and my body slow moving. I am feeling the harbingers of summer leaving and autumn approaching. I felt a sudden twinge of the ‘blues’ and a sense of dread out of nowhere yesterday. Can you feel darkness? That’s what I felt, not seen and not spoken of. I gave myself silent comfort, thinking it is probably the changing of the guard – those forces that are ushering in a new season. Perhaps I should hold a ceremony of a sort.

I believe in ceremonies/rituals. They give me a sense of connection, direction and a reason to be. Every morning this summer I do a walk-about on my property, visiting the greenhouse, the garden and flower beds in the backyard. Then I meandered to the front to see how everything is growing there. This is my morning walking meditation – the greeting and giving of thanks to the gods above and those in the garden.

I’m learning important lessons in the garden this year. We are all familiar with the saying, There’s a season for everything but do we really understand what it really means? For one thing, I have forgotten that the saying came from the Bible, from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every [a]purpose under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

What I take away from it is everything is changing. Nothing is static. I must learn not to hang on to everything so tightly as I have been doing, but to let go when it is time. There’s a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted. And so I plucked up the Armenian cucumber vine. It was past its best by due date. It has given me many cucumbers and now its leaves are full of white powdery mildew. Letting go is never easy. After trimming off much of the leaves, it took me another day before I could say goodbye. Now it is chopped up and in a bucket for the garbage as mildew is not suitable for the compost. Everything looks much better now. The bitter melon and peppers said thank you for the extra elbow room and light.

SOME THINGS ARE JUST FOR ME – a meditation for one

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It is the 11th day of August and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve missed a day again. Time is elusive, hard to grasp. It’s like holding onto water. It slips slides away faster, the harder you try to hold onto it. Before it does today, I’m sitting down, my fingers are on the keyboard, to have this conversation. I’ve come back from grocery shopping with my parents. I’ve unloaded and carried theirs into their house. Mine are sitting on the kitchen floor. No perishables. They will be alright.

Sometimes you just have to drop everything just to have some time/things for yourself. You can run yourself ragged if you don’t. I have that habit of doing, of being productive, of doing/giving for others, trying not to being selfish. Sometimes I end up feeling neglected, resentful with mean thoughts. It’s no one’s fault except mine own. I recognize my flaw, my incorrect thinking. Now I try not to fall into that hole as much. Now I try not to share all of me and what I have. It is nice to keep some thoughts/things just for myself.

It was difficult not to give this bitter melon to my mother but I fought the urge. I told myself I had given her one already and there are 2 more little ones growing on the vine. And she has been complaining she got too much fresh vegetables. Everyone is giving her so much. So I kept this pretty one and cooked it just for myself. It was quite delicious, not that bitter at all. Pretty good for my first adventure growing and cooking a bitter melon. I hope I will get a few more than 2 though it is getting late in the season.

I know I inherited/learned this trait from my mother. She’s always giving/sharing all of her stuff. It’s hard to refuse. I’m trying to learn to be gracious about it. After all, they’re gifts and she is almost 90. It probably makes her feel good she can still give. Like mother and daughter, we find it hard to take. She is learning, too, to take as well as give.

I CAN’T DO EVERYTHING/REMEMBERING SUCCESSES

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It is the 9th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve missed a few days. The thing is I can’t make up or catch up. I recognized that I can’t do everything. Some things have to go. I will have to show up when I can. I can’t make up or catch up with the Daisy Yellow Index Card Challenge either. It is way over and I am short some 21 cards. I am rethinking and revamping my idea of success and commitment. It is not a do or die. It is about prioritizing and choosing what is more important and doing the best that I can. And this is my best. Instead of throwing in the towel, I will do a post when I am able.

There was a time when I did show up and completed both of these 2 challenges. It is good to remember my successes. I’m show casing some of my better index card paintings. The index cards are 6 inches by 4 inches. The guy made frames for them. Geishas are a favourite theme for me. Perhaps I was Japanese and a geisha in a previous life.

These three painting are still staying with the Japanese theme. The first one is of peasants hurrying home from work at the end of the day across the Meguro Drum Bridge, a copy of HIROSHIGE‘s famous painting. The next one is of the Atomic Bomb Dome in Hiroshima. The 3rd is of the Itsukushima Shrine in Hiroshima. I was fortunate to have visited two famous landmarks in Japan many years ago.

The last collection of framed index card paintings are abstract studies. It is not my favourite form of art because I am not familiar and comfortable with uncertainty. It is something I have to work on.

THE FRUITS OF OUR LABOUR

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It’s August 6 but day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m running a day behind. I hope I can catch up and not fall further behind. It’s another hot day. Still no rain. I’m trying to work smarter and make life a little easier. It was tempting to skip my exercise class this morning. It wouldn’t be a smart thing to do so I tossed that idea. I need to keep healthy, fit and strong. I had a good workout and stopped at the community garden to water my brother’s and our plots. We share watering duties on alternate days. Our plots are side by side. It saves time and energy for both of us.

The day is hazy. The sun hidden by smoke from forest fires. The temperature is 31℃. The world looks uncertain and scary. Welcome to our new reality. Despite this, I am optimistic, putting my hope in my garden basket. Thanks to the river that runs through our city, we are able to water, water and water. We have such an abundance from all our gardening efforts in our greenhouse, outside garden at home, the community garden and the city allotments. Here are some of our harvest.

I can see I have my work cut out for me preserving and not letting things go to waste. My bowlful of Roma tomatoes are stewing on the stove. I’m doing the easy peasy. They will be jarred and frozen for spiced up tomato sauce when the need arises.

WHERE I LIVE

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It’s day 4 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It’s a good day for another show and tell. These summer days are so busy with our prolonged heat wave and drought. My days are filled with watering, watering and more watering. Now the crops are maturing and we are overflowing with harvest. There’s little time to sit, be thoughtful and write something intelligent. So let me show you a little of where I live.

The herb spiral is in the immediate area as I step down from the deck. It’s made out of urbanite – broken up concrete from our front walk two summers ago. It was an immediate success. The herbs took to it like they’ve been growing there for years. I found the little monk statue at a garden center. He was meant for it and he reminds me of my Sheba every time I see him. Sheba was with me for almost 14 years and went to doggy heaven last May. The herb spiral sits in the space where a cherry bush sat. Sheba liked to pick the cherries when they came in season. It was also a cool place for her to lay under in summer.

Beyond the spiral is our bicycle shed. On top of the shed is a living roof. It’s the first year for it so it has mostly Bachelor’s Buttons growing with some chives and sedum. It’s a very dry summer with no rain so not many native wild flower seeds germinated. Underneath there’s an old wood burning stove, all cleaned and polished up. Will be nice to cuddle up to for cool autumn days and evenings. Beyond the shed is a solar passive greenhouse which is not shown. It’s for another time.

These are my guardian protective angels in the corners of the garden. They are the spirits and eyes to watch over and guard where I live.

A SLOW BAKE TUESDAY

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It’s day 3 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m feeling challenged to get the words onto the page. It has been overcast most of the day. It is cooler, but the house is still fairly warm from yesterday’s heat. The low during the night was 22℃. Still any temperature under 30℃ is a good day to bake bread.

It’s good that I’m an early bird since retirement. I’ve learned to get moving in the mornings during these hot, hot summer days. Seems like we are living under a heat dome. And there hasn’t been a break. This could be our NEW NORMAL. I better adjust and adapt. I can still live my best life. No need to cry Woe is me! That isn’t going to change anything. What is here is here. Does anyone hear any alarm bells besides me? No matter. I will proceed as best as I can.

This is turning out to be a laborious task. I’m toiling over my keyboard, pecking a letter at a time. The words, sentences and thoughts are difficult to organize. And dang! when I got a whole paragraph, I hit a wrong key and the whole thing disappeared. Pardon me while I cry ‘Woe is me!’ Baking bread is much easier. I know all the steps and measurements. I only messed up once and killed the yeast because the water was too hot. I ended up with unleavened dough for 6 loaves of bread. It wasn’t really a disaster. It made delicious flat bread and pizza dough. Most of the time I am overflowing with success.

Today was no exception. 6 beautiful golden loaves came out of the oven. The work doesn’t end there. It starts there with the clean up of endless washing of this, that and many other things. But apparently it is all worth the effort. I continue to do it as I continue to do the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Oh boy! what a struggle.

SEIZE THE DAY

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It is day 2 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I better seize the momentum of this newness to get going. I was going to reward myself after writing this post, but I failed the delayed gratification test. I already had my bowl of frozen maple walnut yogurt. It’s hot and I’m sweaty from freezing peas, doing the lunch dishes and watering part of the garden with the grey water. It’s a bit of a chore but well worth my effort. I didn’t realize how much grey water we let go down the drain until I started collecting it. I collect mostly just from washing lunch dishes. It can get labour intensive. I don’t have enough energy and stamina to do more. I have to be prudent with my resources.

Morning seem to be my most energetic self this summer. I try not to squander it away by being slothful and grumpy. I got myself off to an early start by booking an 8 am swim. Life is easier with commitments. Without, I am lost and adrift in the sea of freedom. Today I am rewarded with the pool all to myself. My grumpiness and frown are smoothed away in the water of the pool. There’s no worry of being too slow and having my toes grabbed from behind. I luxuriated in the peace and aloneness of just me and the life guard.

I love these mornings when I can get off to a good start. I can have them every day. It’s really up to me to make it happen. I had time to reflect on how as I swam up and down the lengths of the pool. I can choose to do the things I love, think the thoughts that build me up, spend time with positive people and those who are truly friends. I do have choices and control of many things that affect my well being. Now that I am more cognizant I can do better. I know I am not as grumpy as I used to be. I must be heading in the right direction.

The time after my morning swim is also perfect for heading to our community garden to weed, harvest and water. I am cooled and relaxed, ready to withstand the summer heat. And mornings are generally a bit cooler. It is wonderful to see all the greens of our efforts in the bright summer sun. It is not work but therapy for a gardener’s soul. Since it is a community garden I am happy and honoured to help another gardener water her plot. To be of service to another also adds to my well being. In return she has given me seedlings and apple sauce. Relationships is about reciprocity. Here are some of our happy plots.

SHOW AND TELL

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I have become sodden with the summer heat. I can’t remember when I have shown up here. I no longer feel familiar with the word. The only thing I can do these days is water the greenhouse and gardens and watch Poirot on YouTube. I believe I am addicted to the peculiar little detective. I had to force myself away to come to the keyboard. Thinking and creating is so hard to do. I gave up on the index-card-a-day challenge after 40 days. It’s over tomorrow. I’m short 21 days. That doesn’t mean I have to give up. I can still finish it on my own time schedule. Do I have it in me?

It’s been a tough summer. It’s been a tough year. It’s a tough time all around. Nothing is like it used to be. Hasn’t it always been that way? We’re more aware now because Covid-19 changed everything. We have to change our ways of living on this planet. Yes, change is exhausting and I am exhausted but grateful at the same time. No, I can’t cry, Woe is me! because we are all in this together. I’m learning to suck it up, bolster myself and move forward as best as I can.

I have signed up for the Ultimate Blog Challenge of writing a post a day for the month of August. A commitment is a good prod in the right direction. I do take these challenges seriously. Here’s hoping I have enough stick-with-it to show up here every day this month. If I don’t have the words, I can do show and tell on what and how things are showing up in the greenhouse and garden. My goal for this challenge is showing up each day. It is a given that content and presentation are still very important to me. I will strive to do my best but it is not a do or die.

NEW NORMALS

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These long stretches of hot summer days make me feel as if life is in limbo. It’s difficult to do anything cerebral. My brain is overheated. It cannot think clearly. It’s best just to chill and do just what must be done. In the early cool of the morning, when the temperature is in the low 20s℃, I do my gardening maintenance. This morning I focused on the front yard, watering all my perennial beds and fruit trees. And while waiting for the 3 raised beds to be filled from the rain cachment, I weeded here and there. It took about an hour and a half. It’s all I am able to do.

Yesterday morning, my focus was the back garden. I still have seedlings and spaces to plant. The garden was still in shade. Now there are no more spaces. It is afternoon and the backyard is in full sun. It is hot and sunny without the spruce trees. They came down last August to build a small passive solar greenhouse. It is well worth it. Even in this first year and our inexperience, it has been very productive. It does add to my busyness but very worth it. It forces me to be more organized, to work smarter and to value my time.

It looks like we will have another week of this hot weather and maybe more. Another week of drawn blinds to keep the house cool. Drawn blinds makes it feel like there is an illness. Indeed, our planet is ill. It’s a little scary. No, it’s alot scary. Record high temperatures. No rain. The whole village of Lytton, British Columbia went up in flames on June 30th. Will this, too, become our new normal?

SINGING A NEW SONG

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Another hot day. I’m feeling the heat. I’m being careful, watching and conserving my energy. I still want to record my thoughts and observations. They are not sharp or profound but one thing that I did noticed today was that it’s difficult to stop the loop of non-stop negative thoughts and self criticism. However, I had this light bulb moment – that I have to sing different tunes. When I was young, I loved listening to music. I rarely do that now but tunes play in my head now and again. Today Funny How Time Slips Away was in head jukebox.

So I got onto YouTube and searched it out. That led me to other songs. The amazing thing I rediscovered was I still love music. Sitting and listening without doing anything else soothed all thoughts and wrinkles from my head. Here is my playlist.