SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU

Posted on October 24, 2017 by hafong

We should all be like our pet dogs. We were gone for just 2 days. It could have been weeks. When we got back to pick up Sheba at the sitter’s, she was beside herself with happiness. She ran out the door and galloped around Carol’s front yard. Back and forth she ran, kicking up her heels like a donkey, squealing with delight. She let us know that she was so happy to see us.

Why can’t we be like that, not afraid to show our feelings. If you care about someone, don’t hide and be coy about it. Show your appreciation. We might say and do all the right/polite things, but our body language gives us away. Let me tell you, there’s no mistaking Sheba’s body language. She loves us and she’s not afraid to show it.

Sheba has taught me much in our lives together. Love transcend many boundaries. You cannot measure love in the dollars or sense. Love touches you in that special space inside. And she surely has touched us there.

SOME KIND OF CHANGE

Posted on October 23, 2017 by hafong

A change of pace, a change of scene is always good for the soul. It breaks up the routine. It breaks up thoughts. You can’t rely on the same old, same old. You are forced to see something different if not differently.

So here we are in another city, in a hotel. In recent days we’ve experienced the loss of family members. That alone has changed our lives forever. Our days are somehow never going to be the same. The thought makes the losses unbearable and the memories all the more precious.

I see those moments frozen in time. It is as if I could reach out my hand and touch those people. I can almost hear their voices and laughter. So I have not lost them really. I still have had the experience of them in my being. They are still part of who I am.

I am a little sad but I’m also full of their love and my love for them. So really I am happy after all.

IN PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE

Posted on August 9, 2017 by hafong

The thing is beginnings are always hard. You know that. You circle and circle, filling in, wasting and passing time. Then you get sick of the nagging, weighty thing dragging your butt down and down. So you sit down and begin. So here I go with my tap, tapping for the day.

Arriving at acceptance of things as they are – that the earth has 10 years less 2 days to survive, have set me free – maybe not completely but a bit more. Why? There’s no time to lose/waste/mope. I saw my purpose which is to enjoy the time left. Thanks to Professor Guy McPherson’s advice, I’ve decided that excellence, love and what I love to do are worthy goals to pursue. I was already on that pursuit with my year of doing different, but now I have a clearer vision of it.

In the presence of our recent dramatic climate change, it is difficult to ignore impermanence, that our earth will not be here in another 10 years – less 2 days now. Given that premise, nothing matters anymore and everything matters still. A contradiction I know, but for me it holds much truth, wisdom and comfort.

The nothings that don’t matter are the things outside of me, the things that I have no control of – what others think and do, keeping up with the Jones and Smiths, etc. etc. etc. The things that matter are the things within me, the things that I CAN control – how I speak, how I behave, how I choose. I choose to make my life matter, to take an interest, to find what makes me smile. I choose to live in a way I give back to the earth as well as harvest from it. I choose to pursue excellence in body, mind and spirit. 10 years less 2 days is still worth pursuing.

APRIL/SELF LOVE

Posted on April 2, 2015 by hafong

It’s another morning, another day. Snow has fallen during the night. The yard is bathed in white and sunlight. The night has been good for all of us. Our bodies and minds are rested. This morning the egg does not look so lonely on my plate. Our stomachs are sated. We are content.

It is not a bad thing to acknowledge our bad times. It is not a bad thing to vent. It is not showing our weaknesses, our failures but showing our humanity. If I can share my vulnerabilities, maybe you can share yours. We can learn from each other and build a bridge between us. Our planet can be a lonely place these days. We hide behind our fences and facades. We dare not trespass on each other’s backyard. It’s yours. It’s mine. Can we make it ours?

April is a good month to extend yourself by reaching out or within. It is the month of spring, the greening of the earth. It is a time for germination of seeds and ideas. How can we love ourselves and each other more? How can we plant more seeds for love?

ON TOP OF THE WORLD

Posted on April 16, 2014 by hafong

“I’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around
Your love’s put me at the top of the world”

Funny how photos trigger words and snatches of songs in my mind. That’s how I’m feeling looking at this picture of Sheba – on top of the world. The Carpenters got it perfectly. Sheba exemplifies perfect love.

No matter how long or short I’ve been gone, she is always exuberantly happy to see me on my return. She is never cross with me, except when I try to trim her nails, clean her ears or brush her undercarriage. But she forgets when it is over and never holds a grudge. With love like that, how can I not be on top of the world?

So what if I’m greeted by snow and grey skies first thing this morning? They will pass as all things do. So I am not feeling quite perky and ready to conquer the world but this, too shall pass. In the meantime, it makes a good excuse to cuddle up with my tea and book and just enjoy the slowness. Wars and battles can wait for another day. For today, I am happy sitting on top of my world watching Sheba play.

FOR LOVE OF SHEBA

Posted on April 7, 2014 by hafong

I am not a dog person by nature. When this unexpected visitor came, I did not expect that we would have such a long love affair. Seven years later, we are still going strong.

She taught me about unconditional love. She showed me I had a heart. She was such a beautiful baby that I could not give her up, no matter how hard and tough the going was.

So we muddled through the years – the cold and snow in winter, the slush and mud in spring, the dirt in summer and colours of autumn, the season of her birth.

STRUGGLES

Posted on March 20, 2014 by hafong

The day has broken. I struggle out of bed and struggle through my qigong routines. Such is life. How many mornings have I gotten out of bed now? And how many times have I done my qigong exercises? You think I would have perfected both that I could do them in my sleep!

But surprise and no surprise, it isn’t so. We never reach that perfection point of no struggle…while we are still breathing. Perhaps it is a good thing. Otherwise, we would stop reaching for the moon, the stars, for something better or just different. We would stop growing and developing into new possibilities.

And so I sigh and sip my coffee and suffer my little discomforts. I massage my sore tight spots. I breathe out my angst and inhale the goodness of the universe. I let go of my judgements and let in the love.

If I am to live in this world, I have to be of this world. We are all the same. We are the dancers. Our struggle is the dance. It matters how we dance. Let my dance be the tango.

COFFEE WITH MY MOTHER

Posted on April 18, 2013 by hafong

What really matters to me is that I am able to give back to my mother what she has given to me….love and attention. So when she tells me that she is missing her sister and that she is feeling so not all right and could I take her out for coffee, it is my pleasure to do so.

I had been wondering how she would deal with my auntie’s death. Even though they were separated by many miles, they spoke frequently on the telephone up to 2 weeks before my auntie’s death. By then she was not herself anymore. She was sometimes confused and angry, hitting and scratching at my cousins, too weak to speak with my mother. But she died peacefully at home.

My mother was a bit surprised by her own grief. She felt a bit ashamed of her ‘weakness’. She said that all her siblings were like that. My uncles all cried unabashedly at the funeral. When someone said that they shouldn’t be crying because my aunt was, after all 93, they cried all the harder. So that’s my mother’s side of the family. They lived in each others’ hearts.

My coffee times with my mother are somewhat akin to Tuesdays with Morrie. It’s been a long time since I have read the book, but I remember that those Tuesdays were filled with love, communication and acceptance. That’s how I feel about my time I spent with my mother. She is a great storyteller and a very wise woman despite her lack of formal education. I am who I am because of my mother. And it is a wonderful thing.

A NEW DAWN

Posted on December 19, 2012 by hafong

It is another morning, just a week before Christmas. I’ve just finished another 12 hour night shift. I am tired and not in the best of spirits. It is not the way I want to go to sleep, on a bad note. So here I am tapping out my words and feelings. Sheba makes it hard, being pesky and wanting to play. But it is not a bad thing, wanting to play. Play can help cleanse the toxin from me.

And so we play a little tug of war with her rope. She is pretty strong, hanging on with her teeth, shaking her head and growling playfully. I let her win a few rounds. Then she gets a bone to chew outside. She is pretty easy to please. Play and food always work. Too bad that we are not so predictable! Life would be so much easier.

So I am feeling much better. Sheba and words work most of the time for me. It is a difficult journey to be a good, decent human being but I am trying hard. I am remembering Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements. What better time of the year to be tested than now?

agreement 1

Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2

Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3

Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4

Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

I am remembering another Christmas when I was experiencing the same emotions as now. Words then help me through. This is the letter that I posted for my very good email friends. They are still my very good friends even though we aren’t as much in touch now.

“What a lucky girl am I to be receiving two sunrises from men from different parts of the world in recent days.. Of course, being -30 C in my neck of the woods,, I prefer the one from the land of palm trees and the home of all mankind. It shows the sun rising above the horizon, casting a warm glow, bringing a promise of a new day of possibilities.

And so the pain in my chest has eased and once more I can breathe and sigh again. Life is complex and sometimes puzzling and so are people. Things are not always black and white. Even gray has many shades. And so I learn that I do not have to choose either or. I do not have to throw the baby out with the bath water. There’s always a middle ground and that friendship is many a splendoured thing. Forgiveness is very freeing. Love is all encompassing….peace everlasting.”

I saved those words, perhaps knowing they will help me again. And so they have. I am free. And it is another dawn, full of God’s splendour.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

Tag Archives: love