Tag Archives: life

I’M WORKING ON IT

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Life is such that when you think you’ve got a good thing, it disappears. Having found the flow of things doesn’t mean you have command of it. When that happens, I have to do the hard work. I had to work hard to build my log cabin quilt squares this morning. Perhaps I was too smug. I tried to build 2 squares at the same time. I thought it would save time. The opposite happened. I made mistakes. I had to rip and take apart. Multitasking does not work. It does not create flow. Think again as this article points out.

It is 3 in the afternoon. It is -14℃ outside. In the greenhouse, 38℃. There are 146 new cases of #COVIDSK. We have just returned from our afternoon ski in the park. For change of scenery, we did the North Park which is across the street from the South Park. It is a little more challenging with little dips and rises in the landscape. Today I was not working on speed but on conquering my fear. I have gone down the 3 little slopes now a few times without falling. Still, my heart goes pitter patter standing atop of each. My mind gets so analytical, trying to picture the how(s). Bend my knees and ankles. Tuck my poles under my arms. Don’t hold them in front of me but behind me. Don’t stand up too fast.

It’s a success story. I did 2 rounds around the park. Went down the 3 slopes twice upright. I even gave myself a tiny push to start the glide. I dread each time I approach the slopes though. Going down was uncomfortable but exhilarating at the same time. I won’t be daring greatly any time soon but I’m working on it. I’m also working on my paper clutter. It’s almost tax return time. My head is such a mess. I have such an aversion to opening the mail. I don’t try to understand it. I’m making a goal of opening them each day again. Perhaps I should put a sign on my computer to remind me. I have opened my mail today. It’s a T5 for my tax return. I am acting promptly – for the moment. Now I just have to add up those moments.

EFFICIENCY – FINDING THE FLOW

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It is 3:19 pm on the 17th of February, the 17th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is -17℃ outside and 36.6℃ in our greenhouse. There are 124 new cases of #COVID19SK. I’m having a chocolate chip pumpkin muffin along with a decaf while I tap on the keyboard. It’s a reward after my daily afternoon ski. It works. And that is what I’m examing today – things that work for me. You may find them helpful, too.

Participating in online challenges work for me very well. Doing this Ultimate Blog Challenge has me coming to the keyboard every day. The100dayproject has me sewing on my Bernina every day. I will have 100 quilt squares sewn at the end. I have discovered that after I get going I’m more efficient and skilled in putting a square together. I’m now starting to sew 2 squares one day and use the 2nd day for a rest or other things.

Repetition can promote flow for me. My quilt squares are all the same. They all are the traditional log cabin pattern. The difference lies in the fabric. After building 17 squares I can do it by memory now. I don’t have to look at my book at how the pieces go. It has become a meditational process. It is the same with lane swimming. I go up and down the lane, doing the same strokes. I get into a rhythm and my strokes get more efficient the more I do. That has come true in my cross country skiing, too. I have been out there day after day after day. I’ve first put on the skis on November 22, 2020. At long last I feel the flow/glide.

Finding the flow saves time and energy. It also makes life more enjoyable. I don’t mind being repetitive and maybe a little boring sometimes. It works for me.

WHEN I FEEL LEAST LIKE IT

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Warmer temperatures does not always guarantee well being and energy for me. After a day’s rest I wasn’t that keen to hit the ski trail again. I did anyways. It’s my exercise regime this winter. I have given up my aerobics class and swimming due to Covid. There’s no Sheba to walk any more. Now it’s 10-15 minutes of walking to and from the park and 20-30 minutes of skiing. It’s hard work moving my arms and legs as fast as I can on sticks. To motivate myself, I time each lap. Though I am no Speedy Gonzales, I am not slipping. My time gets better or stays the same. It’s usually better on the 2nd lap after I’ve warmed up. I’m also a little faster in the opposite direction when it’s a downward slope. Figures, eh? To compare, I did the first lap up slope for a time of 10:36:14 minutes. The second down slope was 9:45.38 minutes. I skipped the third lap. Tomorrow is another day.

My worse/groaner time is after I come back from skiing. I’m tired, hot and sweaty. Then there’s all those lunch dishes staring at me. I hate it when there’s pots included. Making soup is wonderfully easy with an Instant Pot. I threw everything in – the chicken broth I made yesterday, a leftover potato, some mashed potato, a couple sticks of chopped celery, part of a rutabago, and the last of the carrots from the garden. Put the lid on and press soup. Cleaning up was not so easy – all those containers that held the leftovers, the pot, bowls, plates and utensils. Then there’s the fridge. I could close my eyes but I’ve done that for a few days already. It was mostly empty, a good time to wipe off. Now all that is finally done. I’m sitting, sipping my last cup of tea for the day. It’s good to groan and sigh it out. To be repeated tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel that life is dang hard. But really, my life is a piece of cake. Feel good doctors say, Don’t watch the news at bedtime. I say the news last night -the storm in Texas, the Covid outbreak in Newfoundland, the vulnerable people during this pandemic, the crack down of protestors in Myanmar – made me feel so grateful. This morning I listened to Melissa Fung talk about the young girls that were abducted by Boko Haram in Nigeria. I have nothing to complain about, not even the bitter cold and Covid. I have food, warm shelter and safety. When I feel that life is hard, it would be good to remember last night’s news and be grateful for what I have. Even when I feel least like it, I just do it.

A DANGLING CONVERSATION

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It’s a beautiful, sunny, -19℃ warm day. A perfect day for our daily ski if I wasn’t so tired. It’s hard to give up the endorphin high but common sense was really knocking hard. Even my sewing for the100dayproject is exhausting. I also get a high from building my log cabins each day. I get great satisfaction from seeing how it builds up from 2 little squares into a 9 inch square. It is the same and different high I get from making a round on my skis and seeing my improved time. And so it is if I can write another daily post. A sense of accomplishment/creation and living up to commitments.

I can pull back a little. I can take a lesson from my log cabin sewing. Not all logs are of equal length. I can ski less laps on days when I am tired. I can write shorter blogs on those days. I had participated in Friday Fictioneers in the past where the goal is to write a story of 100 words. It was fun and it helped my writing. It makes you get to the point without a waste of useless words. I might think about it again since I write mostly for the pleasure of words. I love the flow and beauty of them. I’m thinking of Simon and Garfunkel’s Dangling Conversation as I write this. This is what I hope to create with my writing.

It is a big but worthwhile wish to create beauty. I don’t have to create big. I don’t need a masterpiece to be happy. Just a touch, a wisp, a suggestion that my writing has touched or help someone makes me deliciously happy. I’m rethinking what is content and what my goals are.

VALENTINE’S DAY AND THE ULTIMATE BLOG CHALLENGE

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Happy Valentine’s Day. It is February 14th, halfway through the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I had struggled through the early parts of it. I am struggling still, having no discipline to set time daily to write. I give in easily to my writer’s block, the lure of Netflix and other distractions, lack of organization and planning of topics. I did have a goal of having more content but gave in to mostly ‘diary writing’. I can blame it on being retired and no business to promote. It is still not too late. I still have 14 days to improve. There’s always the next challenge. Perhaps it would be a good idea to take in the training offered then.

My stats are not going off the chart but I do have a few followings. Since I do not have a business to promote, I am happy with my traffic. I could be happier with more. I am not competitive but I like being in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is a community and does provide readership. I am challenged to be a more productive writer. I appreciate getting writing tips and topic suggestions from Paul Taubman, the administrator. I also like having rules, even set ones like commenting on the 2 blog posts directly above mine. It forces me to read and comment on topics I might not like or easy to read and comment on. It helps me to exercise my reading and commenting muscles. I like being informed what are and are not good comments. It all helps in becoming a better writer.

It’s Sunday. I am giving myself a break and call this finished. I’ve pushed myself hard on the ski trail today, doing 3 laps around the park with a best time of 9::45.54 minutes on my second lap. I’m still on track with my 100dayproject with the 15th Log Cabin quilt block. The high in our greenhouse was 32.1℃ at 3:19 pm. Presently it is 4.4℃ at 6:15 pm. I better get my shit and seeds together soon. My valentine is preparing our supper. No long stem rose.

PROCESSING

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I am not organized today. That’s the way it goes – up and down or just treading water. Life is a process, each day unique unto itself. I guess that is why THEY say treasure it – for it will never come again. Sometimes I beg to differ though, like now. We seem to be reliving the same day of the Covid and of the cold. I am not complaining. I am healthy. I am safe. I am at ease. I wear my mask. I social distance. I check the numbers each day – number of deaths, number of new cases.

Each afternoon, we bundle up in our warm clothes and head out to the ski trails in our neighbourhood park. We warm up/cool down walking there. We sweat and get our heart rates up doing our laps around the park. I set my timer on my iPhone so I can monitor my progress. I like to know if I am on the right track and improving. I like to make corrections before I am too far set into bad forms. I am very happy today with my best time of 10:02.42 minutes on my 2nd lap around the park. I could feel that I was improving on my glide. I did not have to work as hard -pushing, huffing and puffing. Skiing is a process. I have to do the time and the distance.

Most of the day is gone. I’m looking at 5:30 in the afternoon. The sun is still out. It is -26℃ outside. It was -37℃ this morning. In the greenhouse, it is still 16.5℃. I can’t believe its high was 26.7 ℃ at 1:49 pm. But then the low was also -26.9℃ at 8:24 am. And just like that the sun has set while I’m tapping and the temperature in the greenhouse has dropped to 4.6℃. Not time to do spring planting yet. Patience, my dear.

So ends another Groundhog day. I’m getting a taste of what Bill Murray in that movie. I’m using too many excuses for the same old, same old. No excuses now. It is that I am just lazy and stuck in my daily routine. I am not lazy generally, just in changing habits. I pat myself on the back after I get back from skiing. I think I’m heroic and have done alot. Therefore I need to treat myself to a cuppa, a snack and Netflix. Before I know it, a couple of hours are gone. And I go: Oh, my God! I’ll do better tomorrow.

CHINESE NEW YEAR/CONVERSATIONS/FEELINGS

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Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese family and friends wherever you are. The morning is awashed with bright sunshine. It is only -24 degrees Celsius, quite a bit warmer than yesterday’s -40 C. My world looks so white, clean and peaceful. And yet it is not. The Coronavirus is still a threat amongst us. life and death goes on.

I hope I am not sounding morbid and pessimistic. I am not. I am feeling a bit strange and in limbo. It is not something new. I do go through such now and again. It’s a discomfort, like something is hanging over me that I’m avoiding. It’s because I’m such a procrastinator, always putting off little things until they get big. It’s true that you can put things under the carpet, but not out of your mind. They will nag and nibble at you. That’s what I’m feeling. Every time I resolve things, I vow not to let it happen again. I might as well save my breath. It does happen again because I am only too human.

It doesn’t mean that I should give up altogether. I am here at the keyboard earlier in the day. I am trying to have a conversation again. It’s good for our mental health to talk, to voice and share our ideas. But I’m not really in love with the way we communicate nowadays. For some people keeping in touch means ‘copy and paste’, sending stickers/videos/clips/attachments on Messenger, Instagram, text messages. Most of the time, there are no explanation or personal message. It doesn’t tell me anything about the sender or why I’m getting it.

We should not assume what we find interesting and useful would be the same for another. Think again before you hit that SEND button. Am I doing a service or disservice? Am I really being thoughtful or am I really thinking of myself? Different strokes for different folks. I think it would be good to remember etiquette is the same on all communication tools. I hope that I am also respectful in what and how I am communicating, but maybe I’m not. Perhaps those ‘unfriending’ on FB was a message. We all live with the consequences of our actions.

I have done well today. I hope I can keep it up and build on it. It is after lunch. I have done Chinese takeout for my parents and ourselves. It’s a chance for me to check on them without appearing so when I drop off the food. It was my mother who used to drop off stuff for me New Year and other occasions. Now the shoe is on the other foot. Children become the parents and vice versa. My brother will be dropping supper for them tonight. We celebrate together somehow.

I have skied 3 laps around the park this afternoon. An extra lap for prosperity. I’m trying to build stamina and speed. I did not gain any speed but am keeping my time under 11 minutes/lap. You would think I was training for the Olympics. LQOL (laughing quite out loud). It was quite lovely today being at least 10 degrees warmer and less wind. It was easier breathing and I didn’t get quite as frosty as yesterday. Scroll on the arrow to see.

WINTER AND NETFLIX

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My brain seemed to have fallen into a lazy rut lately. I’ve been staring at my blank screen for awhile. It feels a bit strange but I kind of like not talking. It is peaceful, restful and rather sublime. But it’s not optimal during a writing challenge. I shall have to give myself a hard nudge and a kick in the arse.

I tell myself every day that it would be better if I’m at my keyboard earlier than than later. That doesn’t seem to help. After I do my sewing in the morning for my 100dayproject, the sun is out. The sunroom is awash with glorious sunshine. I tell myself that I would have my cup of tea and then start. But then I feel a little blocked. I started searching Netflix for a little thing to watch. Anne with an E was a delightful series. I loved the dialogue, the way Anne talked. And it is Canadian, based on Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables. I went through 3 seasons in no time.

Someone on Instagram mentioned The Queen’s Gambit a little while ago. It is very good. I highly recommend it. I shall not give any of it away except that it is about a girl and her love of chess. It is so easy to while away the afternoon with a good series. One episode turned into another. I haven’t been able to stop after just one. I tell myself that these are really good happy and motivating stories. I am usually doing my cross stitch of Jesus while watching. I wasn’t idling my time away. Perhaps the third season of The Sinner was not such a good idea. It was a detective story and hooked me. It was very dark and probably not good for one’e mental health. I decided not to watch season 2.

I caved in again today and watched a movie this afternoon – Penquin Bloom. It was a very good choice. It is based on a true story about Sam Bloom and a magpie. And that is all I’m going to say. That’s been my days lately. I can’t really feel bad about it and I can’t blame myself either. We’re having a bit of frosty weather and it is nice just to relax and not try so hard so much.

CHALLENGES AND PASSIONS

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Challenges can be invigorating, but they can be irksome and exhausting. My 100dayproject is labour intensive. I chose to make a quilt block a day. Not only that, I chose the Log Cabin pattern. It involves 17 logs of different lengths, starting with 2 logs that are an inch square. That involves a bit of cutting, sewing and pressing but I never get mentally blocked.

Writing challlenges are quite a different thing. First you have to come up with a topic or storyline. Then you have to come up with the words. There are many road/mental blocks. On this 10th day of the UBC, I’m looking at one. I’m using our moderator’s suggestion of sharing a video. It’s on what we have/ am doing in pursuit of our passions. We are passionate about the sustainability of our planet. We are doing the best we can to leave the smallest carbon footprint as possible.

To this end we have 40 solar panels on the roof. We have switched to LED lightbulbs. We are trying to grow as much of our own food as we can. We have been a part of a community garden for about 4 years. We have 6 self wicking raised garden beds. There are 3 of them in the backyard and 3 in the front, much to our neighbour’s displeasure. She calls them coffins. We also have a rainwater catchment system. We only use city water for the garden if absolutely necessary. We thought we could still do more. Last fall we took down our 2 spruce trees and built a passive solar greenhouse.

WINTER WONDERLAND/SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

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It’s another day, another Log Cabin square, another ski, and now another post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I thought I would show off our winter wonderland. I do love our winters. Most of these photos were taken at the Sutherland Dog Park. Sheba loved running on the frozen South Saskatchewan in the winter. We encountered a red fox here on Christmas eve in 2009. I had thought it was a dog as it streaked past us towards the river. No person followed after and it never came back. That was when I realized it must have been a fox.

I am missing my puppy girl now and again and for always. That is how it is with love. But I know she is happy somewhere over the rainbow. I know she will visit me again.