Tag Archives: goals

Am I Having Fun Yet?

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Though my goal this month is to have more fun/pleasure, I can’t say I am having fun yet. I’m on the cusp of a third cold. They seem to come one right after the other. The first one was not too bad, lasting only 4 days. The last one was a whopper, lasting 3 weeks. I thought I was going to die. I’ve only fully recovered 2 weeks ago. I’ve been careful to stay out of harm’s way. But…At least I am not feeling bad -yet. I hope it will pass like the first one.

I’m not really pissed off but I am not full of laughter either. I felt like crying reading the 2 Heathers (Heather Delaney Reese and Heather Cox Richardson) this morning on the politics of Donald Trump and his merry crew. Why are they/we so full of hate? Why are we destroying each other and our planet? What happened to ‘people needing people‘? How did it get to people killing people? Ok, enough of that! Though it doesn’t help to stay in the dark valley, it is important for me to be aware of the people who can’t get out. I owe them my compassion.

I’m not all gloom and doom. I do have a spark of positivity within me. I don’t sit helpless in negativity. I’m just not the loud and gregarious type. This morning I found joy watching Peggy and Molly.

And have you heard of Max Alexander, the youngest ever fashion designer? He is a joy to watch. He’s inspiring me to be playful and try new ways of sewing.

It is April 2. I had to get transplanting with some of my seedlings. A few minutes of green TLC.

Hello April

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It is another beginning of a new month. The world feels like one big April Fools prank. I wish it was. Then I could laugh and be merry. Alas, it isn’t so! There’s real bombs going off. The world now is a crazy place full of crazy people. I shall have to buckle up my shoes, pull up my socks and do the best I can. Today is also the first day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for April. My goals are to show up each day with a post and to have fun at it. I’ve been very much obsessed with what is happening in the U.S.A and the Middle East. It hasn’t been a feeling good activity but hard to stop. It hasn’t been good for my mental health or my brain. Fun could be good therapy.

It is strange for me to talk of ‘having fun’ since I am a super serious person by nature. Perhaps this is a month to experiment with ‘having fun’. It could be my new grand adventure. I don’t think I will be trying any bungee jumping or jumping out of airplanes type of fun things. I think I would rather dabble in more tame activities that would bring me simple pleasure. One fun thing I’ve discovered lately is an afternoon nap. I’m not used to laying down in the middle of the day. At first it was uncomfortable, taking some time for me to relax and settle in. To my surprise I was able to drift off to sleep and then waking up on my own. The whole process took only half an hour. I felt so good and rested after. It disrupted my scrolling addiction for awhile.

It is therapeutic and fun to muck about in the greenhouse. It is warm enough afternoons now that I can while the cares away for an hour or so in there. Another ‘fun’ thing for me is writing. I love stringing words together to see what stories I can tell. Words help me make sense of the world. Words helps me to vent. They give me comfort and love. These are very good reasons to participate in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It also gives me an opportunity to meet other writers and read from their point of view. It is always good to be part of a community.

Endings and Beginnings

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The last day of January and the last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It was not a strong or consistant beginning for me. I did not show up every day. However, I came alive in the second half. I’m quite happy with that. I’m here now, dressed, hair combed, earrings and hearing aids in, eyebrows lightly etched in. I’m ready for the last hurrah.

Though I failed to show up every day, I consider this challenge a success. I coaxed my words out of lassitude. I watched as they marched slowly and unsteadily across the screen. It was very rewarding to see them gaining momentum and then to flow smoothly into a post. I’m learning that it’s ok to miss a day or two. The important thing is to get back and try again. I’m learning, too, that my own words can heal. They still smooth and sooth my soul. They need not be many or grand. Simple and few can fill me up.

The pleasure of a challenge comes from sharing with others. Thank you to my fellow participants for their words. I’ve learned much from all of you. Thank you to Paul Taubman, the maestro of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am not sure what happened but I’ve experienced unusual high traffic on my site this month. What a wonderful feeling to end on.

Tomorrow is February and a new beginning. How will I begin?

What Is Good Enough?

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Three days into the new month and I’m feeling I’m failing in so many ways. I wonder if my lack of sleep last night put a slant on my outlook. What do you do when a thought gets into your head and just won’t let go? In my case, it was a technology puzzle. It kept playing in my head and had me tossing and turning. In the end, I had to get out of bed. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and warmed up some leftovers. Being upright seemed to reset my buttons. Comfort food warmed my belly and relaxed my being. Sated, I was able to sleep.

I realized that I wasn’t going to lose weight the way things were going. For one thing, I cannot give up the cream in my tea/coffee. I tried using skim milk and it tasted terrible. I don’t want to give up snacks altogether. I love an afternoon muffin/cookie, etc. What joy is there in life without cream and snacks? Perhaps I am making excuses but a life without some joy doesn’t feel inviting. Perhaps I have to evaluate my goals and decide what is good enough.

I don’t think I am too terribly overweight. I am not obese by any stretch of imagination. I will change my focus on losing weight to keeping fit and happy, whatever that takes. Right now my goal is taking off a little belly fat. It would be a boost to my self image and health to lose that bulge. For me, it is easier to add more motion and activities than to cut out cream and snacks. What do you think?

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BAD HABITS DIE HARD

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November 1, a new month, a new day. Where am I? I am still lost in the midst of my chaos and clutter. I haven’t given up. I worked myself out of acedia in the month of October. Now that I am no longer wallowing in apathy, I am interested and energized in working my way into some kind of order and clarity. It is not easy as you might have guessed. I have vacuumed the kitchen, dining room and the sunroom. I did it in spurts of starts and stops.

I am in the stop phase, now nursing a cup of decaf. It’s my usual fall-back-on habit so it takes me a long time to do a chore. Bad habits die hard and very slowly. After years and years of this, it is very, very hard to correct. I have to be patient and kind with myself. I have made a start. I have acknowledged my wayward ways. I am dedicating November to work on sorting my paper clutter. This does not mean giving up my other goals of losing weight and piecing my log cabin squares together into a quilt.

My weight loss is nil to minimum. I could lose 1/2 pound one day and gain a pound the next. It is a bit discouraging. I am focusing on staying fit and getting stronger and more flexible. I am focusing on increasing my aerobic workout and maintaining the strength training. I can now do 50 skips at one time jumping rope and run up and down the stairs at the gym 5 times. It’s easier each week. I can aim for 60 skips and 6 times on the stairs on Monday.

I’m piecing 4 quilt squares into a block. I will have 25 blocks in the end. I’m almost there, just 2 blocks left to go. However, I shall stop and have a bit of a rest from everything. My head is buzzing, alerting me that I am over stimulated. I have to drop everything right now.

It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect

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Here it is, the 2nd last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I haven’t made it here every day. I haven’t done too badly thought, missing only 3 days. It’s not a do or die or I must kind of a challenge. Sometimes life calls. And I had to answer. This business of living is not easy. None of it. I do the best I can. It has to be enough. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

In assessing whether I’ve stayed the course, I showed up 93% of the time. I abided by the rules. Read the 2 posts above mine and commented as best as I could. As to having fun, I wasn’t in the beginning. I struggled for the first few days, not having fun at all. But I warmed up, eventually thawing out and enjoying it all. So I’ve achieved my ultimate goal of working my way out of acedia. I am no longer in ‘a state of listlessness, apathy, and a lack of care about one’s life or spiritual condition‘.

I have achieved my wildest dreams.

Wordless Wednesday – Vision Board – Table

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Thank goodness for Wordless Wednesday! The 2 goals I set for myself are to lose weight and to clear clutter. Today’s vision board is composed of photos of how I would like my tables to look most of the time – uncluttered and attractive. If I can keep these images in my mind, I’ll be more apt to succeed. Here’s fingers and toes crossed.

Starting and Staying

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At long last, I’ve made a start at digging myself out from under the many layers of clutter and dust. I can breathe a little better and see a little clearer. I wish I could rid the fruit flies that are buzzing around the kitchen. I’ve taken steps to eliminate them by setting up apple cider vinegar traps. There’s no ripe fruit or tomatoes on the counters. The counters are fairly clean. Still they persist. I wish I was as tenacious as the fruit flies at cleaning and clearing my spaces. I have not been but am working on exercising that particular muscle. Today is another first day of the rest of my life. I am good with words. Let’s see if I am good at my words.

It’s a beautiful sunny but cool Sunday. It’s warming up nicely. It’s a good day to work on things inside and out. I have trays of ceyenne peppers drying in the dehydrator. I’m sipping on tea made from last year’s dried stinging nettle. It’s not exactly delicious but I am detoxing from my caffeine and sugar addiction while making use of stinging nettle leaves I’ve gathered and dried. I’m making a strong start. Let’s see if I have staying power.

I’m good with starting and working small. I am not a super or wonder woman. I’m more of a tortoise than a hare but I can still get there wherever there is. Right now my there is not far. It is within reach. I am not reaching for fame or money. I’m reaching for the ability to feel just a little joie de vivre, to have a sense of meaning of life in this time we are in. I guess it is asking for alot. But if I don’t ask, how will I get it?

July Writing Challenges

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July 1, another new day, another new month. The morning is getting on and I’ve been tarrying with my morning tea and reading What My Father and I Don’t Talk About. 16 writers talk about their relationships with their father. It’s so speaks to me right now as I navigate my own journey with my father after the passing of my mother in October of last year. It’s been a difficult journey. Perhaps I will write about some of that during this July’s Ultimate Blog Challenge.

I’ve lost track of time and if not reminded of it by a UBC friend, I would have been late coming to the UBC party. I thought June has 31 days. I hope to show up here every day for July with a new post. I’ve participated for quite a few years. I’ve never planned on what I am writing. I just show up at the keyboard and hope for the best. Mostly it is just about my mundane every day life- moans and groans, gardening, arting and what I’ve been reading.

Perhaps I can make some changes, gives some thoughts and do a bit of planning. I am going to keep it easy and simple. There’s more likelihood of me succeeding if I do. I am happy to be in this writing community to learn and share. Happy writing everyone.

Reboot, Restart

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A grey drizzling kind of morning. Grateful to have a few of these days lately. Not alot of rainfall but all our water catchments are full. These mornings this spring/summer have been strange. They are still dark at 5/6 am whereas in normal times, I’m awaken by the sunlight already. It is what we have now. There is nothing to do but to carry on.

I made a tour of the greenhouse and garden while waiting for breakfast. The greenhouse is not exactly thriving. No crazy vines climbing to the roof yet. The snowpeas and lettuce were big performers in early spring. The lettuce have been removed for other things. The snowpeas are still performing but the leaves are turning colour. Don’t know whether it is their time or because of aphids. They’ve been causing trouble especially with the peppers and bitter melon. The peppers have made a slow recovery in the raised bed outside. I’m not so sure if I will get any bitter melons this year even though I’ve started and planted new ones. Time will tell.

I’m trying to make small changes in my morning routine to give myself a boost. I’ve stopped writing morning pages. They were not helping. I was focusing too much on my feelings and symptons. I was making deeper ruts to sink in. I see no harm in playing Spelling Bee and Wordle. They are relaxing and maybe exercising my brain a little. I have not been too successful with my goals for June. Not making a regular show on my keyboard might have something to do with it.

Some days are hard and I lose focus. Life is busy. There’s work everywhere. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I tell myself it’s ok to stop and just hunker down. I just have to remember to push the RESTART button again and again. I’m still on top of the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. I didn’t get very far reading War and Peace but I can get back to it – later.