There’s no easy way to get going again once you’ve let yourself get stuck at GO. So I’ve given myself a kick in the ass, wiggled all my fingers and started typing. I’m feeling no better nor am I in a better mood. I’m not feeling any joy for myself or anyone. So please, don’t ask that of me. However, I am moving, doing what I need to do to live hopefully with purpose. My purpose right this minute is – not to feel this way. Not to have these feelings dwell in my cells. It’s not good for me.
I think there’s a lesson here for me. I just have to live peacefully with all these for awhile. They will tell me what it is that I have to change. In the meanwhile, I will try to be a good sport and not upset anyone’s wagon cart. I don’t have to fix my wagon. It might not be in the right track but it isn’t broken. In the meantime, while it is searching for the North Star, I will carry on with the activities of daily living. I will pay more attention so that I don’t fall into the same damn holes again. Then my wagon can truly get broken. It might be wise to consult Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. The four agreements are:
- Be Impeccable With Your Word,
- Don’t Take Anything Personally,
- Don’t Make Assumptions,
- Always Do Your Best.
They sound pretty simple and straight forward but I haven’t mastered them yet, not even close. They are something to work toward when you are lost and wandering in the desert – as I am at the moment.