LONG AND WINDING ROAD – day 127 – 129 in a year of…

Posted on December 1, 2016 by hafong

Day 127 – 129 – December 1, 2016 @5:32 pm

A few days have slipped by. I’ve been absent from this space but I’m here now. That’s how it is in real life. Some days we go missing and we will have to find our way back – if it is important. It is. The pages of the calendar keep turning. It is now December. The days are getting shorter, the nights longer. Soon it will be Winter Solstice. After that the reverse will happen. Life in cycles.

In this year of doing different, I am sojourning forward – out of the fear and the darkness. There’s light at the other end of the tunnel. I am in the desert. It’s where I am suppose to be. I have things to learn. I am safe for I am with me. The road is long and winding. The challenges beckon. Come on. Take one step. Then another.

Knit one. Purl one. Keep going. You will figure out the pattern. One row. Then another and another. There – now you have a sweater. Now you have a life. Wear it. Live it. It is yours. Tomorrow you will wake and rise to face another challenge.

ONCE UPON A TIME -day 111 in a year of…

Posted on November 13, 2016 by hafong

Day 111, November 13, 2016 @5:09 pm

Words come easy. Words come hard. They come different on different days, caught up in the nuance of where I’ve been. I have been lost in thoughts and not in real time today. The words are tumbling in my mind/head like clothes in the dryer barrel. Now sorting and excavating them is challenging. But I’ve always loved challenges.

NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month of writing a novel of 50,000 words is too much for me though. That is why I’m here pecking out my few words daily. I have no fairy tales to tell. This is an exercise in purging what is not true or desirable. It’s difficult and painful though it may not be visible to the reader. I struggle coming to the keyboard every day.

Some days I don’t make it. That’s how it is. That’s how we are. I’m learning and understanding about our human nature. I don’t feel as guilty for my short comings. I don’t punish myself as much. I try again and again to come back to what is true. Our stories, our struggles are important to tell. They are gifts to be shared. We see that we are all the same. We all struggle. We all suffer. We all have ‘the soft animal of your body’ in Mary Oliver ‘s poem, Wild Geese. We can connect in our vulnerability.

NO MATTER WHAT THE WEATHER – Day 86 in a year of..

Posted on October 18, 2016 by hafong

Day 86, October 18, 2016 @8:29 pm

The day was cloudy as cloudy could get. It was difficult to summon up the desire and energy to do anything or go anywhere. It is good to have dates, commitments and challenges to fulfill. They get me out of bed. I dress up, make up and show up whether I feel like it or not. I now have enough experience to know that once I make a start, the rest will follow. Of course not all starts are equal. Some are harder than others.

But once I start, like now, tap tapping on the keyboard, the rest will flow. There is a rhythm to it. I am soothed by the letters and words as they march across the page. I love the silence that I am working in. My senses are irritated and nerves jangled by all the drama happening on the world’s stage. At the same time, I am intrigued and fascinated by it all. I wonder how much of it is true. But enough now! I have to stop all that noise and make sense of my day.

Despite all the grey and dreariness of the day, I am feeling fantastically well. One cannot help feeling it just saying the word. I was able to haul my ass out to the dog park. Sheba is always eager and willing no matter what the weather. I am learning from her. She is a good teacher. If only she could speak a little softer.

THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD – Day 33 in a year of…

Posted on August 24, 2016 by hafong

Day 33, August 24, 2016 @5:56

I’m really struggling at the moment to keep my eyes open and my fingers moving on the keyboard. All day I’ve had to work at it to keep going – even in our morning step aerobics class! I feel myself lagging in so many moments. I would then step it up, pump my arms more getting my oxygen to my brain. I picture my goal – slim and trim, no double chin, no bulging tummy. I huff and puff and the childhood story of the little engine that could came to mind.

Oh, I do love a challenge. The little engine that could, that’s me! It keeps me going, moving. It gives me purpose. I stand up, walk around. I’m a little more alert. I tap, tap, a word comes, an idea comes. Finally a sentence. I get up, put the kettle on for a cup of tea. A picture and another idea and sentence comes. I build little by little. Knit, purl, kit, purl – row upon a row. Almost half a back. You can see the lacy panel now. By Christmas a sweater I will have.

I can see that having a goal, a plan, a challenge can move me to do great things. What is great is personal, of course. What I know for sure is I’m doing great. What are you doing?

Till tomorrow.

ASSESSMENT – Day 27 in a year of …

Posted on August 18, 2016 by hafong

Day 27, August 18, 2016 @2:21

If I was left to my inclinations, I could sleep my days away. Me, the nurse who prided herself on how little sleep she could function on. That was eons, another life time ago. Now, I know better.

In these days of August I find rhythm and purpose to the days despite my sleepiness. The quality of sunlight is changing and the day is shorter. I’m more conscious of my increasing appetite and drowsiness. I fight to keep my eyes open.

It’s good to have projects and challenges. It’s good to share and have support from social media friends from around the globe. There’s camaraderie in Susanna’s Conway’s August Break as we share what the daily prompt means to us in photo’s and words. Where would I be in my 100 Day Project and My year of change without my friends on IG, FB and WordPress? Social media in itself is not bad. It is how WE, human beings use it. In itself, it is inert.

A pause is good to stop our frantic doings and to assess the situation – how we are doing, do we need to change directions, do we need to make any changes,are we making progress, etc. Sometimes a pause is forced upon us as in an illness. Sometimes it’s a deliberate act. I’ve had both and prefer the latter.

My pause led me to My Year of doing different Project. It is really a way of life. My different is being awake at the wheel. A stitch in time does save nine. It is better to be late than never. Do you agree?

Till tomorrow then.

THE VERY FIRST OF NOVEMBER

Posted on November 1, 2015 by hafong

October over, November beginning – a death and a birth. I am a little disjointed, somewhat off course. How to feel? What to do with this new month? I am not as blue as I can be, but bluish nonetheless on this grey wet day of November.

I was buoyed by the colours of October, held up by the Mindness Summit. I had something to look forward to each morning – having tea with Melli O’Brien and her guest. What wisdom would they bring me that day? What a month it had been! What a wonderful array of speakers. And what a heart warming ending with Jon Kabat-Zinn.

October and the summit are over. Now it is time for me to walk the path on my own. It is not enough to have the knowledge. I have to live it – moment by moment, just as it is. It is much like the advice that Anne Lamott has on writing: Write down as much as you can see through a one-inch picture frame. Then move to another one-inch frame. I will have to read her book, Bird by Bird again. It has many wise instructions on writing and life.

This first day of November is a pause, to rest into the quiet, to ready for a new month of challenges. What will come up? Time will tell. I can only see in today’s picture frame. It is enough.

RISE AND SHINE

Posted on May 9, 2015 by hafong

It is Saturday. The sun rises and shines through the windows. The shadows dance on the wall. I am summoned by the day to rise and shine my best, however much I can. I have been tried and challenged this last while. It is no drama, though dramatic. The details are stowed away in the recesses of my mind – to be examined at a better time.

For now I bask in the warmth of a sunny May morning, happy to find my words and to feel the tap, tap of the keyboard. Each click is soothing beneath my fingertips. Each click is unlocking the fetters and releasing the angst from my body. I am recovering the ME of me. I am feeling the sweet melody of life in my body. I can surely rise and shine with the sun.

I can feel the pull of sewing that sail cover for Rod. The bedding plants are clamouring to be out in the sun. Life is calling.

INSPIRATIONS – FIVE YEARS AGO

Posted on April 11, 2015 by hafong

Morning, my favourite time of day. Saturday, my favourite day of the week. I’m sitting here this sunny Saturday morning in April, tapping out my words. I’m tapping from this newly uncovered flexible spot. I’m tapping in ease for Susannah Conway’s #Aprillove2015’s prompt: Five years ago. I’m tapping for Kat McNally’s #AprilMoon prompt on sources of inspiration.

#Aprillove’s prompt is: Five years ago. Five years ago, after being in a relationship with I, me and myself for many years, the three of us took a chance and became a WE with someone from the distant past. I remembered that moment vividly. My phone was ringing as I unlocked the back door.

Sheba lunged in, pulling me with her. We skidded to a stop in front of the phone. The call display said: Sasktel Pay Phone. My curiosity pushed me to pick it up. “Lily, this is the voice from your past”. An unfamiliar voice said. “I don’t know who you are. Who the hell are you?” I queried. The rest is history as they say.

Being WE has been a challenging journey but I have no regrets. Challenges has always been one of my greatest sources of inspiration. They have taken me down untravelled roads. I have taken many wrong turns and been lost many times but I always find myself again. I consciously choose The Road Not Taken. I don’t like regrets of I should-haves.

Had I not taken the chance of reconnecting with the past, I would not have experienced Ghana (where he was living at the time), the country, its people and culture. Some people thought I was brave, but I had no doubts. I felt it was meant to be. I’m a believer in synchronicity. Somehow the heart knows.

That was five years ago. We’re still together- now in Canada. It is still challenging. Our relationship is very complicated as they would say in Facebook. But we talk a lot to each other and watch each other’s back. Is that love? #April Love and #April Moon.

FROM WHERE I STAND

Posted on April 8, 2015 by hafong

From where I stand. #aprillove2015

From where I stand today, I see that I still want perfection. I still long to be better and more – than what, I do not know. Even though I was born in China and have stood at the center of the world at Cape Three Points, Ghana, I still feel I’ve been nowhere. The lack I feel is endless. I recognize that. I accept them. They are just feelings. They are not me. I am whole as is. I am where I’m suppose to be. Here. Now.

#AprilMoon

I know that now. Had I recognize that years ago, what would I tell my younger self? I don’t know and if I did, would I believe myself? So from where I am standing or sitting today, it is best to get up and get on with life. If I had known better, I know I would have done better. If I could, I would, wouldn’t you?

Thank you again to Susannah Conway and Kat McNally for your prompts.

TOUCH – KISSED BY SUNSHINE, HELD IN SHADOW

Posted on April 6, 2015 by hafong

Here I am, feeling challenged amidst my challenges. Have I bitten off more than I can chew? They are not ‘musts’, life or death situations. They are challenges I have signed up to give me goals, inspirations and structure for my posts and writing. If I leave it to time or inclination, you know what will happen – nothing. And so, I have signed up for #aprillove with Susannah Conway, April Moon with Kat McNally, and Ultimate Blog Challenge .

I am really loving the prompts and loving coming from these sources. Keeping up is not easy, but it is not hard either if I don’t let my thoughts intrude and if I stop thinking in scarcity of time. They rob me of creativity and mire me in STUCK. I am not behind. I am forging ahead the best I can. I have to embrace the good and bad, the yin and the yang. I love the day and the night. What am I but one dimensional without my shadow? It will be good if I can accept and embrace my dark side. I am me, myself and I. Wherever I go, they and my shadow also go.

#AprilMoon prompt

Cia, goodbye past, I am writing the next chapter, a new story of my life. You no longer work. And now I am free of fear of uncertainty, of the dark, of the shadows within myself. I can breathe now and let me, myself and I out completely. I am singing in the rain, dancing in sunshine. Oh let those clouds come by. I am not afraid. I am kissed by sunshine, held in shadow.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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