in the desert

KABBALAH – THE TREE OF LIFE

It’s after 5 in the afternoon. I am sitting and tapping amid all the clutter on my desk. Feeling the fullness of the day. I am tired. I did say after seeding my mother’s and mine petunias and some chili peppers that I would be okay if I don’t get anything else done. And so I am. I’ve done a few more things so I am in double and triple happiness. I’m sucking on some Smarties also, pushing my happiness through the roof.

I’m exploring The Tree of Life –Kabbalah– with Caroline Myss. I’m taking the cosmic online journey into the ten powers of my soul. It’s an ambitious undertaking but I got the rest of my life to do it. It goes hand in hand with my exploration of my Bernina 790. Let me make a goal of creating the tree of life on it in 6 months. I have to set the goal and the time frame. It’s that basket to shoot for. Lent is coming up. It’s time for me to go into the desert to study and create.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been in the desert. I miss it -the quiet and stillness. I close my eyes and I can feel its loving arms around me. I can hear the whisper of his voice in the air. His presence surrounds me. I am comforted. I am on the right path. I will be happy to spend time there. What will you be doing during Lent?

 

LONG AND WINDING ROAD – day 127 – 129 in a year of…

Day 127 – 129 – December 1, 2016 @5:32 pm

img_8557A few days have slipped by.  I’ve been absent from this space but I’m here now. That’s how it is in real life.  Some days we go missing and we will have to find our way back – if it is important.  It is.  The pages of the calendar keep turning. It is now December.  The days are getting shorter, the nights longer. Soon it will be Winter Solstice. After that the reverse will happen. Life in cycles.

 

img_8570In this year of doing different, I am sojourning forward – out of the fear and the darkness.  There’s light at the other end of the tunnel.  I am in the desert.  It’s where I am suppose to be.  I have things to learn.  I am safe for I am with me. The road is long and winding.  The challenges beckon.  Come on. Take one step.  Then another.

Knit one. Purl one.  Keep going. You will figure out the pattern.  One row. img_8564Then another and another.  There – now you have a sweater.  Now you have a life. Wear it. Live it.  It is yours. Tomorrow you will wake and rise to face another challenge.

 

 

A FLOWER IN THE DESERT

IMG_1897I’ve survived to see another morning!  I think I’m going to live for sure this time.  The porridge is simmering/boiling over on the stove.  I’m sipping my early morning Chai and tapping my heart away.  Life looks good again.  I’m savouring this moment, breathing in the goodness, thankful for God’s caring of this wilful child.

Yes, I have been lost in the wilderness of my desert, succumbing for awhile to the devil siren’s songs.  I have wandered these last few days, following her enticing melodies – like the rats after the Pied Piper.  I have been lost, but now I am found.

Photo on 2014-09-28 at 2.20 PM #2It is good to step out of desert into the oasis that is my life.  I no longer feel that it is small. I no longer feel I am small.  I am a woman who have accomplished much in her life time. She has travelled from her village in China, to Hong Kong and then Canada. In her life here, she has travelled to the Scandinavian countries, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, China.  Malaysia, Thailand. She has cruised the Caribbean and Alaska.  She has just returned from France. And she does not call China home any more.

This woman has been a child.  She is a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend.  She has waitressed, been a secretary and a nurse.  She has walked and stumbled many a times. She has celebrated, cried and suffered losses. She will many times again.  She has lived and does not need instructs on how to be.  She is learning always – on how to be better in this universe.

IMG_1898For now, she has given up writing her novel during NaWriNoMo.  Instead she has taken up lolling and resting in the warmth of the sun, reading Alice Munro and Joyce Carol Oates.  She is enjoying their words and artistry of plots and descriptions.  She hopes it will rub off on her.

She is no longer thinking of herself as a rat but a desert flower, blooming despite her arid past.  She no longer feels she lacks but is rich and fulfilled – with love and experience, if of a different sort.  She is after all rather eccentric or so she’s been told not just once. It is a compliment most supreme.

Joy is rushing into her now.  Ideas and words are popping into her head.  The words are rushing to come out of her fingertips.  Whoa, slow down!  One at a time please.  My fingers can only go so fast.  What is the hurry?  There is time.  Tomorrow is another day.  Don’t mess me up now, Scarlet.