November 27, 2018 8:51 am
Mornings soothes or rubs. This morning it is the latter. It is wise advice not to go to bed irritated. It is easier said than done though. I’m trying to soothe myself with another cup of tea. I’m trying to erase my self irritation by leaving them on the page. I hate getting caught unawares by some unseen and unknown cyber troll. I’m trying not to dwell on the reasons why people do things like that – for monetary gains or the pleasure of disturbing my sleep.
Beware of strange emails. The senders of such understand human nature very well – our innate curiosity, the need to understand and frustration of not understanding and the inability of opening an attachment. Well, it was late in the evening. I did a million clicks on it. I hope I did no harm to my computer. I have an Apple after all. That is my small comfort. I have confirmed that the email was spam and not from Fedex. My package will not be sent back to the shipper.
I think I need a cup of coffee now and to do another embroidery on my Bernina. It’s better than gnashing my teeth. But I better do some qigong to rid some bad thoughts and energy.
November 28, 2018 1:35pm
It is snowing gently. It is a soothing kind of afternoon. I’m glad. Yesterday rubbed me all day long. I’m ready for some flow and relaxation. I’m happy to sit here with my decaf and mumble on my keyboard. My body is feeling the fatigue of a good workout at our step aerobics class this morning. It’s good for keeping my stress and cortisol levels low. It helps for a good night’s sleep. It’s healthy self-love.
What do you do for self-love? I have to keep reminding myself what is good and what is harmful. I’m listening better now. I’m resisting the urges of the instant gratification of blowing steam, choice words and actions. Much better to count to 10 to myself and wait a second or two. I’m surprised at how fast I CAN turn around, feel and do different and better.
It is almost 2 pm. I have a bit of time to set up another embroidery motif for my table cloth. I am getting intimate with my Bernina. We’re past the coffee stage at last. Well, it will be a year since I bought it home.
Voices in the head are quite intrusive. Mine are. They tell me this is hard, that is difficult. They tell me after that I should have, could have. They make me feel lazy, tired and worse of all – guilty. They rob me of energy, time and well-being. Autumn is a vulnerable season for me with its shortened daylight and especially on cloudy days. I pay special care. Iquestion those voices in my head. I ask: Is that true?
How was my day? I felt tired. I didn’t want to go out. I didn’t want to do what needed to be done. It gnawed at me. I went out anyways and did what I had to do. It felt good. While I was out, I ran into someone who made me realized how good living is and how much I have to be grateful for. If I hadn’t gone out, I would have missed that opportunity. I would have been sorry. Instead, I’m inspired again.
onethousandandtwo 