Day 47, September 7, 2016 @6:49

Voices in the head are quite intrusive.  Mine are.  They tell me this is hard, that is difficult. They tell me after that I should have, could have.  They make me feel lazy, tired and worse of all – guilty.  They rob me of energy, time and well-being.  Autumn is a vulnerable season for me with its shortened daylight and especially on cloudy days.  I pay special care.  Iquestion those voices in my head.  I ask:  Is that true?

The question gives me time for a pause and do a turn around.  I tell those voices to be quiet.  I tell myself I can do better.  I can do that thing that they tell me is hard.  I start. I move towards my goal.  Once I start, I’m surprised to find that it wasn’t so hard afterall. If an unpleasant mood rises, I ask myself why and is it true.  Can I feel another way?  It’s that second of asking.  It gives me time to change.  Sometimes it doesn’t work.  It’s not the end of the world.  I feel what I feel.  What isn’t done isn’t done.  If I feel guilty about it, I feel guilty.  I feel it until it goes away.

How was my day?  I felt tired.  I didn’t want to go out.  I didn’t want to do what needed to be done.  It gnawed at me. I went out anyways and did what I had to do.  It felt good.  While I was out, I ran into someone who made me realized how good living is and how much I have to be grateful for.  If I hadn’t gone out, I would have missed that opportunity.  I would have been sorry.  Instead, I’m inspired again.

How was your day?  Till tomorrow.