STITCH BY STITCH

Posted on March 18, 2019 by hafong

Some days, I yearn for all my yesterdays when I was young and mellow. I like the idea of being starry eyed and hopeful with the whole future ahead of me. That’s what the adults tell us. Now, I am one of those adults. I do not have that whole future ahead of me. Instead I have the limited edition. Does that make it more valuable? Whatever and however it is, it’s best I use that time to spend it in meaningful joyous splendour instead of lamenting for yesterdays.

It’s easier said than done though. I have spent at least half my life time languishing and sighing like a helpless damsel in distress. Habits die hard. They surface and resurface like sewer from a manhole. It’s bit difficult to put a lid on it. I keep trying. My efforts have not been in vain. I have made progress, small but still rewarding enough to keep me on track. I am walking down a new street now and not the same one with the manholes.

Days have passed and I’ve neglected being here but I’m still on track. I’m being mindful – doing the practice and reading the manual, page by page, not skimming nor skipping ahead. I will probably have days when I will falter. I will probably have days when I will skip. But then that is the practice – coming back again and again when I do. I have not faltered with my Jesus stitches. I am making very good progress, stitch by stitch, day by day. That is all I can ask of myself.

HEAVINESS, SPACE, TIME – Day 363 in the year of…

Posted on July 26, 2017 by hafong

Day 363 – July 26, 2017 @4:21 pm

Some days the heaviness weighs me down. My head is full of this and that, information, things to do, guilt, other people’s stuff, my stuff. It’s difficult to stand tall and free. I was feeling all of it this morning. What to do? It’s hard to let go of getting right to the ‘doing’. The habit is set. When did it happen? How did it happen?

With the recognition of the moment, I tried to set aside my book, my phone, my everything. It was difficult and uncomfortable to sit with just my tea and toast. But my head was heavy and weary. I tried for nothing for little moments in time. Then my toast and tea were done. I still had 3/4 hour before heading out for my exercise class. I picked up my phone. I put down my phone. I don’t need to cram my brain with more information. I got up.

My next ‘challenge’ after finishing ‘my year of’ is creating order in my home. It is really about creating order in me. No time like the present to start. I headed towards the bedroom. I dusted the dressers, bedframe, light fixture, above the doors. It did not take long. I still had time. I got the mop and damp dusted the floor. Sheba is in shedding season. The hair! The dusting and mopping were very soothing and relaxing.

I had plenty of time to get to the gym. My head felt much lighter and I had one clean and orderly room. What I learned from the experience is that I have to take time for creating space – whether it is in my head or in a room. The time is always there but I have to take it. I’ve been taking time to exercise. It’s become a good habit. I have to apply it to other areas. It’s good to take time to clear, to empty the trash in our heads as well as in our house.

STITCHING TIME

Posted on May 19, 2014 by hafong

It has been raining cats and dogs for most of the day and none of us have been energetic or productive. I got my wish for sitting and drinking tea all day. Oh yes, I did spend time with my Jesus. So soothing it was, crossing each stitch, one by one. What was that saying – A stitch in time saves nine? I am not sure if time was saved or wasted. But here we are in the eve of the day, sipping wine. I am tap, tapping out my words. Nothing profound, of course. I am a bit out of love for the seriousness of life today. Maybe it is the rain. Maybe it is because I am just tired of being so serious and profound. Let’s just forget about goals and striving. Lets stop about setting up steps and pushing forward. Let’s stop time and just play. What do you say?

NO TIME FOR WORDS

Posted on May 4, 2014 by hafong

Today feels like one of those days that I have no time for words. I’m feeling squished and breathless. My body is tensed, my mind closed. No ease is flowing through me.

I close my eyes and take a slow deep breath. I see the blue sky of yesterday in my mind. The white clouds drift pass me, taking my frown away. I feel soothed, smoothed, cuddled and fluffed. Ahhh! It feels good. I’m human again.

The day is still here in the twilight. I am finding the words. They are coming one by one as I am tap, tapping on my keyboard. There is no need to rush. There is no need to worry. There is time. Everything comes in good time when we are ready.

TIME IN A BOTTLE

Posted on April 10, 2014 by hafong

Today I got to thinking about time. Jim Croce’s song, ‘Time in a Bottle’, came to mind.

“If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away”

If you could, what would you do with it? What is time anyways? We’re always crying about there is not enough time to do what we want. And what do we want? It’s like asking what is happiness. Such nebulous questions with no answers!

It’s best that I move…on with the day. Time is ticking away as I am pondering upon misty and elusive things. There’s real concrete things that one has to deal with. And I do them one at a time. No multitasking for me today. I have the time and I am doing what I want. This is real life – no song in a bottle.

TIME IN THE DESERT

Posted on February 11, 2014 by hafong

Time in the desert moves slowly but surely. Silence is all around me. I can hear the echo of my heartbeat. Peace is all around me. I gaze down at my own private Grand Canyon. How lucky am I in this place at this time.

The sun warms my face in the daytime. It lights up the world and I can see for miles around. At night, the moon is bright overhead. The stars twinkle merrily in the velvety dark. I can see the belt of the Orion. How expansive and rich is the universe!

I inhale and exhale. I am grateful in the desert.

30 DAYS IN THE DESERT

Posted on February 6, 2014 by hafong

Though it is a month before Lent, it is no surprise nor an accident that I find myself in the desert. I am once again lost in the wilderness, wandering up the lonesome road, trying to find my way, looking for my words.

I have lost my words these last while. They have disappeared from my fingertips. It is a struggle to recover and grasp them again. It is not a bad thing to feel the silence and the stillness. It is not a bad thing to sit, wait and to listen to the quiet.

There is time. No need to rush. No need to despair. I have 30 days in the desert. There is time to breathe, exhale, count my heartbeats and march to my own drum. There is time to live, love and gather the sacred sage.

I HAVE TIME

Posted on August 22, 2013 by hafong

It is almost the end of August and the day is hot. Life has been hard but then when has it not? And doesn’t that make the moment more sweeter and poignant when all the dust has settled and you can let out the big sigh and breathe again? Ah! Feel the peace.

I have time to savour the quiet, the space and the nothingness of everything. I can lay here on the coolness of the floor. I close my eyes and watch my breath go in and out. There is nothing to accomplish. There are no thoughts to be thought…..no plans, no schemes, no desires, no memories. I am only in the now of the moment for this moment. And that is all that matters, this moment.

VENTURING OUT….on my tipping toes

Posted on May 24, 2013 by hafong

It has finally rained. I am hoping the rain will ease my unease. But I am still venturing out, stepping out even if it’s on my tipping toes…tentatively at first. I will be more bold when I land and not fall, when I know that the shoe will not drop.

Last evening we rode our bikes all the way to Broadway. I stopped traffic a couple of times but I did not fall. Even though I knew I have time, I felt pressured. So I got off my bike and walked it across the intersection. I can do that…stop and walk across.

So many lessons I have learned from riding a bike. I have time. I can stop and do it another way. So impatient I have been. I rush at life the way I used to ride a bike. I don’t take the time….for directions, to listen, to look, to see….often interrupting, finishing other people’s words, sentences. I am better now. Sometimes I can remember to wait.

The raindrops are falling steadily now. It is soothing. I am sipping dandelion tea from my zen teacup. My roast is in the oven. The letter is in the mail. I can wait. I have time.

MY BIG PUSH OFF

Posted on May 19, 2013 by hafong

This morning I set my priority to practice my cycling. From a class last week I had learned that it is in the push off. Push and glide. Push and glide. The momentum keeps me upright. I don’t fall. I push off, glide and rise to sit on the seat. I do not have to do all three all at once. I can not. That is why I fall. I have time. It is amazing what directions and a few pointers can do for you.

I have time. In the same fashion, I am learning to stop and get off a bike without crashing and falling to the ground like I usually do if I don’t have a curb handy. I have time to brake, stop, and get off the bike. I don’t have to do all three at the same time. I cannot do it all at once. That is why I crash and fall. How amazing is that?

I have time. This is my big life lesson from riding a bicycle. I am doing my big push off in a different direction. The momentum will keep me upright. I have time. I can glide. There is no rush. I can do one thing at a time. I do not have to charge forward blindly, angrily, or in fear. I will not fall. I have support. I am in good company.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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