HEAVINESS, SPACE, TIME – Day 363 in the year of…

Day 363 – July 26, 2017 @4:21 pm

Some days the heaviness weighs me down. My head is full of this and that, information, things to do, guilt, other people’s stuff, my stuff. It’s difficult to stand tall and free. I was feeling all of it this morning. What to do? It’s hard to let go of getting right to the ‘doing’. The habit is set. When did it happen? How did it happen?

With the recognition of the moment, I tried to set aside my book, my phone, my everything. It was difficult and uncomfortable to sit with just my tea and toast. But my head was heavy and weary. I tried for nothing for little moments in time. Then my toast and tea were done. I still had 3/4 hour before heading out for my exercise class. I picked up my phone. I put down my phone. I don’t need to cram my brain with more information. I got up.

My next ‘challenge’ after finishing ‘my year of’ is creating order in my home. It is really about creating order in me. No time like the present to start. I headed towards the bedroom. I dusted the dressers, bedframe, light fixture, above the doors. It did not take long. I still had time. I got the mop and damp dusted the floor. Sheba is in shedding season. The hair! The dusting and mopping were very soothing and relaxing.

I had plenty of time to get to the gym. My head felt much lighter and I had one clean and orderly room. What I learned from the experience is that I have to take time for creating space – whether it is in my head or in a room. The time is always there but I have to take it. I’ve been taking time to exercise. It’s become a good habit. I have to apply it to other areas. It’s good to take time to clear, to empty the trash in our heads as well as in our house.



Some days are hard.  Life is hard.  Sometimes it takes a week before I can take the towels out of the dryer.  The words don’t come. When they do, they are dryer than dry.

IMG_0993The sun came out today.  I thought that would make me happy but it only made my glumness take hold.  It was thick.  It made it difficult to keep my eyes opened. My legs felt like cement pillars.  But I did try to run with Sheba this morning.

It was not a total success.  No surprise there, right?   I wondered at the perfectly manicured green lawns along our route.  Where did people find the energy? Why did they care? They were beautiful, these lush, thick emerald carpets.  Even in my state of mind, I appreciated them.

We entered the park.  The heaviness eased its burden, for how can it not – amidst God’s green acres.  The beauty was too great and it fled, its dark tail between cement legs.  I was freed to enjoy God’s creations, if only for moments.

Wonder Woman. Art by Terry Dodson Wikipedia

No all days are equal.  I know that for sure.  Days like today will come again and I will weather it again.  So the towels sit in the dryer for a few days.  No harm done.  My words will play hide and seek with me but they always come back.  I need not be a hero and scale walls of tall buildings.  I am only Wonder Woman and not Spider Man.  I can use these boots and just walk around them. Life continues.