DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

Posted on April 30, 2021 by hafong

It’s a bit strange to wake up to +8℃ temperature after all the cool nights and mornings. I’ll take it though. It is the last day in April. I’ve signed up for the May Ultimate Blog Challenge. We (try)write a post a day and share it on the Page. I’m all for connecting and sharing and learning from each other. Lately, I’m finding that we have lost the art and gift of conversation. I am speaking for myself only. I feel that I am in the land of the one hand clapping. Do you know what I mean?

What I mean is that though we are living in this era of social media and technology, I find it harder and harder to be social, communicate and connect. I clap but no one hears. There is no answering echo. Everyone is waiting for everyone else to respond. Maybe it is that I live in my head too much, thinking too much and seeing erroneously. I hope that is the case. I can correct my wandering thoughts and incorrectness. I can send an answering clap.

It is always good to have something to work on. I am not a know-it-all. I am never too old to learn something new. I’m learning that and the true meaning of don’t sweat the small stuff from gardening. This year was the first time I’m germinating seeds between wet paper towel and putting them in the oven with just the light on. This works really well, especially for all kinds of squashes – in 2 to 3 days. Then there were those not so fresh seeds that didn’t work. I give up after a week of damp towelling in a baggy and in the oven. I do take them out of the oven but as usual I leave them laying around. So days, maybe weeks later, when I finally got around to disposing of them, I found that they had germinated!

It was a great learning experience. First, it taught me to be patient. All good things will come in time. Second, it taught me not to sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff. Third, I will start my seedlings by germinating seeds this way from now on. It is not even necessary to put them in the oven. I think it will save me space and time. When things don’t work out one way, it opens up new avenues. Walking away from things that won’t work is not giving up. It’s being wise. It saves time in not trying to put a square peg in a round hole. It will mean less head banging and frustrations and more fulfillment. Learning new ways is not easy or fast. I will dedicate the month of the May Ultimate Blog Challenge to that theme.

THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE

Posted on February 1, 2021 by hafong

It is February 1, 2021. A new month and another Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have been a participant for a number of years now. Why am I doing it? Mostly because I love writing. It’s a practice that gives me structure to the day. I can work out problems and ease some of my angst on the page. I meet other bloggers and exchange views and ideas. It leads to community, sharing and helping each other. Writing and posting photos gives me a lot of pleasure. That alone is a good reason to join in. A challenge is a commitment. I’m more prone to deliver and succeed. So here’s to a month of writing a post every day. I wish all the participants success. I’m looking forward to reading their posts.

What am I going to write about? In the past, I had no plan at all. I sit down with my cup of tea and start a conversation. Sometimes I use the prompt our moderator sends out. I might very well do the same again. Off the cuff, a chat over tea. But I do have a bit of a plan. I’m in another challenge – the100dayproject. I am making a quilt square a day for that. I might talk about sewing and quilting things. February is heart month. There’s many heart issues I could talk about. February is also the time to start seeds. And then there’s cross country skiing I took up at the end of November. I’ve had a few mishaps and exciting moments to share.

It’s good that I started tapping away at the keyboard. Ideas and topics pop up. There’s so many things I could talk about and blog on. I can be quite a chatter box once I get going. Later in as I learn, I could talk about the whys, hows and rewards of keeping commitments. It’s going to be an exciting month. I am so glad that I’ve entered the challenge. I was getting slack and going silent. It could have gotten to be a bad habit. Now I don’t have to worry.

REBIRTH THROUGH FAILURE

Posted on April 6, 2019 by hafong

It’s getting late in the day. I haven’t put down any thoughts or words on this 5th day of April. I was flipping through one my many journals this morning. I found these two undated sentences.

“Even if you are justified, you must remain dignified. Failure is a rebirth to change.”

It seems that I’m always troubled, have always struggled and searched for a better way of being. There mustn’t have been a time when life was carefree. Surprisingly enough, I am experiencing a rare peaceful moment now. Ever since I have been working, my goal was Freedom Fifty-five, a slogan I picked up from London Life, my insurer at the time.

It is late again on this 6th day of May. Another failure. I didn’t quite finished my thoughts and words yesterday. It shows I’m more relaxed, not having the need to do everything, be everything. I’ve obtained another freedom – the need to be perfect. I don’t have to succeed in everything I do. Sometimes failure is the best thing. It can be a rebirth to change, to try different ways and different things. I did succeed getting to the pool this morning though. I swam my 10 laps. I’ve lost my lone ownership to it. I had to share it with 5 other people. I’ve had it all winter. I can share. The water is not quite as smooth and peaceful but I’m happy to have the company.

TALKING BADLY TUESDAY

Posted on May 8, 2018 by hafong

Oh, to be human can cause us such miseries. It’s how I experience life. I have to remember that I am talking for myself only. To punish myself and feel worse, I judge myself for my humanity. That is part of being human, too. So pardon me for speaking out, breaking the taboo of airing my dirty laundry. I’m not British. I don’t have that stiff upper lip. The thing is, I’m Chinese. We like to ‘save face.’ We don’t talk about ‘private matters’. At least my mother and her generation doesn’t. I am not made of sterner nor noble stuff like that. I am unable to harbour all this ‘stuff’ inside. It’s toxic to my soul. I have to vent.

Brene Brown has done much important work on human connections. Her TED Talk on the power of vulnerability is powerful. I was quite blown away when I first watched it. I had hoped that it would strike a chord within all of us to open up, be vulnerable and share. I don’t think I have that problem. My problem could be the opposite. Maybe I shared too much. I was so busy doing that I had no time, or maybe it was I never gave other people an opportunity to do their sharing. I found myself quite taken back later, like years, that I had been in the dark – without a match, without a clue.

You can imagine the hurt I felt. I spilt my gut, my innards bleeding on the sidewalk but you/they kept mum. My mother would have found that admirable. But I can only talk it out -badly. Isn’t it what they all tell you to do? Get it out! Hash it out! Not too many people I know do though. Are you surprised? I’m not. I’ve learned it from experience. Am I disappointed? No. That’s how we are. Well, it’s not really how I am but I am learning to be that way. I’ll let you know if it is a better way. You know what they say. The less said, the better.

JUST ANOTHER DAY

Posted on October 8, 2017 by hafong

Thanksgiving Sunday. It is cloudy, breezy and cool. I am a bit melancholic. Holidays, no matter which one, have lost their magic for me. I am no longer filled with whatever it is that I’m supposed to have. I am no longer starry eyed. I have no wants for someone else to buy for me. And I have no desires to buy others’ love. I’ve grown old and definitely cynical. I’m calling it as it is. You can like it or not. You can like me or not. What you think and who you like are none of my business.

I am preparing sticky rice as my contribution to supper tonight at my sister-in-law’s. I still believe in something, doing my part in the grand scheme of living. I still am pursuing excellence in living as long as I am on this planet. Some days I am more cynical than others. But I still put one foot in front of the other, move, and smile if I can.

My sticky rice turned out well. 70 minutes on steam in the Instant Pot. Thanksgiving supper turned out well. My siblings and I agree to no more gifting each other at Christmas. I think we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Takes a load off everyone’s plate. Getting together for a meal is plenty of celebration. Gifting each other with good food cooked and shared is plently. Keeping it simple. Today is just another day – lived to the best of my ability. I give thanks as always.

APRIL/SELF LOVE

Posted on April 2, 2015 by hafong

It’s another morning, another day. Snow has fallen during the night. The yard is bathed in white and sunlight. The night has been good for all of us. Our bodies and minds are rested. This morning the egg does not look so lonely on my plate. Our stomachs are sated. We are content.

It is not a bad thing to acknowledge our bad times. It is not a bad thing to vent. It is not showing our weaknesses, our failures but showing our humanity. If I can share my vulnerabilities, maybe you can share yours. We can learn from each other and build a bridge between us. Our planet can be a lonely place these days. We hide behind our fences and facades. We dare not trespass on each other’s backyard. It’s yours. It’s mine. Can we make it ours?

April is a good month to extend yourself by reaching out or within. It is the month of spring, the greening of the earth. It is a time for germination of seeds and ideas. How can we love ourselves and each other more? How can we plant more seeds for love?

THE WHY’S (WISE) ON WRITING

Posted on October 3, 2014 by hafong

It’s a cool -4 degrees Celsius this morning. I feel amazingly good. I don’t question it. I accept it as my good fortune. The sun IS shining brightly. Hallelujah! I sip my Chai, oh so strong and sweet. Mmmmm. Feeling blessed as I sip and tap.

Writing for me is like meditating, the letting go and releasing. This morning it is a little difficult as my furry neighbour next door and Sheba are having a noisy and excited good morning exchange. Bow wow! What do you do? They are dogs behaving like dogs.

Peace is restored – for a little while. Can I get back to the zen of the moment? That is the trick of life, you know – to return to your purpose again and again, no matter the distractions or how many times you have strayed off the path. I find my way to the place I have left. I try not to back track to the beginning. Otherwise, I cannot get pass GO. I will be stuck forever at the starting gate.

I’m spending a little time on why I write. Here I go again! I’m asking the why of things. Can’t leave that alone, can I? The thing that comes to mind is that it gives me pleasure. It is such a sensual thing, this tap, tapping on the keyboard. I feel each letter and hear each click. It’s rhythm soothes and excites me at the same time.

It’s a song and dance, a chorus line – the letters getting into position and kicking up their legs and waving their arms to form a line, a sentence, a paragraph….a story/number/dance. Applause, applause and then encore. That’s every artist’s hope.

Images and words comes come to me out of nowhere. They float to me on wings of fancy, much like the ghosts of my childhood. I feel them in me. They take me to another place, outside of myself – to be that story, that dance, the Alice’s of my dreams.

I always sing and dance to my own tunes. I hear myself after awhile – the warble in my voice, the missed notes and out of steps. It’s not a bad idea to come out of myself, to hear other stories and to watch other dances. It is helpful to share and compare. Everyone has a story, a song and a dance.

It’s in the sharing and daring to tell our stories that opens up the world to us. Soon others give and receive in kind. I write to enrich my life. I am always reaching out there to touch a sister, a brother, a kindred spirit. That’s the way of my mother, her father and mother and all her siblings. I come by it honestly. There is no other way for me. We suffer for it.

People don’t always reciprocate. Some don’t want to and some can’t. I try not to ponder the why’s. Through life’s journey, I have learned to accept and not to take it personally. I have lost nothing in the process. I am neither less nor more. But I have created the possibility to receive more. It is worth it.

I write because I love the words, the beauty they can capture on a page. They crystallize those whimsical images and ideas that come to me from outer space. On a good day, I am able to tap them out onto the screen. On a good day I can make them sing and dance for me. Today is a good day for me. It is cold but my office is bathed in the warmth of the sun. Sheba is laying peacefully on the floor while my furry neighbour smiles at us from across the fence.

Want to sing and dance together? I’m not good at duets but I’m willing to try.

RITUALS AND HABITS

Posted on June 7, 2013 by hafong

This morning the sky is overcast, but the leaves are still the greenest green and I am a shade paler than blue. I have been caught unaware by ‘forces’ and inattention. I have allowed myself be invaded by energies of not my liking. Perhaps I am talking too much, revealing too much. I am being vulnerable.

So what? I am, after all, just a mortal being. And if I have all these feelings and experiences, there must be other people going through similar things. And if no one talks and shares, we will be isolated like islands in the stream- with no Dolly Parton to sail away with.

I am working hard to bring myself back to center. I am paying attention and setting intentions. It is those rituals and habits that save the day. One of my favourite phrase from Regina Brett is: Get up, dress up and show up. I remember that on mornings when getting up is hard to do. You see things in different perspective when you’re up and standing tall. So when I remember, I change my point of view…like changing my walk route with Sheba. I do get lost sometimes by going in a different direction.

Getting lost is not a bad thing. Getting lost makes you slow down and get your bearing. You focus, you think, you observe, you see. I see that I don’t have to rush and find the answer right away. I see that I have time to breathe, to look around, to find my directions, to find me.

So this morning I got up, dressed up and showed up. I made my cup of tea and did my qigong exercises, throwing out my stagnant chi. I focused and felt my energy field. I set my intentions. I breathed. Everything is copacetic.