Tag Archives: planning

Working through the blahs

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Another sunny November morning. The sun comes up much later now. Still, I’m happy to see its shine. Surprisingly some of my garden still survives. The celery, Swiss chard and kohlrabi perk up after the morning chill eases. I’ve just harvested a handful of chard to add to my pot of tomato soup. We’re hoping our tomatoes will survive another 3 weeks. We like to boast that we have our own garden tomatoes up to December. It will be close. I still have a few tomatoes on the vine in the greenhouse.

Life feels a bit strange. I feel a bit detached. I am an observer, feeling not part of the world. I wonder what happened to my ‘passions‘. It sounds like a silly word with no meaning. Perhaps I am just tired. But aren ‘t we all? So I should just shut up and carry on though there is no fire in my heart. It could be just a case of the blahs. It will surely pass as many things do. There is no need for me to fret. Meanwhile I will manage life in small chunks. I no longer need to be Wonder Woman. I cannot leap over tall buildings or even short ones for that matter.

What and how will I do? Carry on as normal/usual. Using some of Regina Brett’s quotes:

  • “No matter how I feel, I get up, dress up, and show up for life.”
  • “Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment.” 

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It’s taken me 2 days to get back here to finish what I have started. Some days I am loathed to move and get on with it. It is especially so on cloudy November days. Today we have a bit of snow to brighten up the grey. It’s only by gosh, darn, I should and I must that I got myself moving this morning. Hanging up clean bath and dish towels and putting the dirty ones in th laundry tweaked by brain into a bit of wakefulness. Another cup of tea doesn’t hurt either. I just have to do whatever it takes not to let myself sink into melancholy and apathy.

Right now I am defrosting some ground beef for lunch. I am also going through the cooler and rescuing veggies that need some attention. Much as I would like, things don’t take care of themselves. Darn anyways! I guess now is a good time to assess and plan our garden needs for next spring.What do we want and like? What do we have too much of? What stores and keeps well? How is our health and physical capabilities? These are a few things I can think about. I do not have to dwell in kingdom of gloom and doom. Move and think, Self!

On Plans and Planning

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Beginning is the toughest thing to do. There are many things I want and need to do but how do I start? Often I am overwhelmed with indecision. I waste much time fiddling and twiddling, pacing and drinking tea. It’s a habit hard to fix. I have had it for so long that it is woven into my very fabric. I am not a planner. I live by the seat of my pants. I have no concrete plans for anything.

Perhaps I could make some changes to make life easier. I’ve done well so far winging it but I could do better if I sit down and write down whatever it is I want. Then break it down in simple small steps on how to get there. That would be a plan. We’re halfway through the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can start working on making plans for the second half. I found a few famous quotes to inspire me.

  • “It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
  • “By Failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin
  • Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
  • “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
  • The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done…you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do.” – Lil Wayne

How I do start the day is always with my morning tea. I used to meditate with 20 minutes of sitting meditation with Mark Williams on Youtube. I’ve given that up and play Wordle and Spelling Bee instead. My brain wants to busy. It feels wasteful doing nothing. I’m not sure it’s a good thing. At least I am not subscribing to play so the time is very short. I guess I do have a mental plan of limiting myself.

SEASONS

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Autumn is perhaps a season I hate and love the most. It’s a contradiction and you wonder how it could be. I wonder myself. These last few days have been heavenly. My energy was boundless and flowed seamlessly. The days are golden and I feel on top of the world. I’m feeling the equinox high. I wish they could last forever. Knowing that it is not possible, I used the days to my advantage, harvesting, processing, cleaning. These chores are much easier and pleasureable when I’m buoyed by the sun. I feel a rhythm, a smoothness and a gladdening of my heart. I shall store the memory of this feeling for other days and seasons.

Those other times will surely come sooner or later. I will not be of good cheer. I will be stuttering in speech and movement. And everything will be hard and dark. But if I am wise, look and plan ahead, I can do the hard stuff on those sunny energized days. Then I have the luxury of sitting back, eating bonbons and taking care of ‘poor me‘ on those cloudy days. There would be less chance of me raining on someone’s parade. It’s a plan worth refining.

WINTERIZING AND PLANNING

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November 7. November is the hardest month. It seems like we had so many warm golden days in October. I had just gotten used to walking daily again and enjoying it immensely. All of a sudden we are plunged into the cold darkness of November. The snow came and is presently coming down big time. At least it lit up the darkness. I have taken up shoveling now instead of my walk. I have the work cut up for me. I am tired from the day.

Seeing the low temperatures in the forecast, I could not deny that winter is here. November is not remembered for sunny days. It was time to put the greenhouse to sleep till March. We harvested all the tomatoes and bitter melons before we went to bed the night before. We didn’t want to risk losing them. In the morning, the greenhouse temperature read at 1 point something Celsius with the little heater set to keep it about 6℃. After harvesting what was missed and rescuing the potted plants into the house, I unplugged the heater. The trays of plants remained on the basement floor till I can deal with them. I have spread out the tomatoes on trays so they can ripen. The bitter melons, cucumbers, peppers and slipper gourds are bagged and in the fridge.

My next chore was shrink wrapping the windows in the sunroom. It seemed like it was just yesterday that I added the sunroom. It’s been 30 years. The windows are still very good but not as weather proofed as they once were, especially the ones that can open. Shrink wrapping them seemed deceivingly simple to do in my head. They proofed otherwise. It took me all afternoon to do 3 windows – the 2 screened ones and another. Not perfect but good enough. It was an exhausting job. Good thing I’m still nimble enough to climb onto my desk. It was difficult to access one window. I’m thinking of doing 4 more now that I got the hang of it. It will keep the room warmer and save on the energy bill.

November 8. I’m none the worse this morning. I did take a Tylenol before I went to bed last night and had a good sleep. I took another one just now to help me with the day and more shoveling. I missed the lunar eclipse, not knowing there was going to be one. There won’t be another one for a long time. That’s ok. I can look at other people’s experiences and photos. I got boiled milk cooling to make yogurt. Then onward and outward to deal with the snow. I’m finishing my tumeric tea before my morning exercise to loosen and lubricate my joints. Have to keep moving. That’s the plan, adding it onto my already 22 tiny habits. It is the 23rd. I have curried pumpkin chickpea soup defrosting. It will be lunch along with garlic ribs and rice.

WRAPPING IT UP

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January 31, day 31 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I don’t know what the fig happened. I was awol (absent without official leave) for a few days – January 28, 29 and 30. I didn’t mean to. Really, I didn’t but my days got shorter. I ran out of time. I ran out of energy and I never had a plan for those kinds of days. But I am showing up to wrap up the month and the challenge. I will have a beginning, a middle and an ending to the month and challenge.

Did I fulfill my goals for this month and the challenge? The answer is yes and no. I did not show up every single day. I did not worked through the whole Unravel Your Year workbook. I looked back on most of 2021 but not ahead to 2022. I am not much of a planner. It shows up in different areas of my life. Maybe it’s something I should work on, eh? If I had a plan B, maybe I could have shown up here every single day. No use crying over spilt milk. I didn’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

I’ve come back over and over. I have done the best I could. Life is about flexibility. It’s a little of this and a bit of that. It’s a potpourri of successes, failures, boredom, elation, stumbles, falls and everything that is possible and imaginable. I am very happy that we have the UBC platform wherein I can do my mumbling, stuttering and sharing. It’s a great place to meet others from different parts of the world and in different walks and stages of life.

I’ve taken on more than I can bite for this January. Besides the UBC, I have a weekly online adult learning course from our university. The subject is on the goddesses of India. There are no examines but the subject is very new to me. I have also signed up for an in-person watercolour class. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It still is but it’s 2½ hours every Saturday for 8 weeks. Learning something new is very exhausting – for me. After the class, I’m no good for anything cerebral. I ski to unwind. Then I am done for the rest of the day. I have 3 classes under my belt now. I’m starting to have a feel for that sweet spot. It is also very easy to fall down and into making mud again. I try not to feel too elated or too downcast. This life is a journey of ups, downs and monotony. They all contribute to the texture of my days.

Today I say farewell to January and the UBC. Much thanks to Paul Taubman our maestro and to all the members of this community. I appreciate all the visits, reads and thoughtful comments. It’s been a fun and rewarding month.

PLANNING AND TRYING MY BEST FOR SUCCESS

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It is the 17th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is a good time for another review. I’ve been missing and skipping more days here lately. And it’s likely that I will not be able to finish this post tonight. Well, my purpose for this month is to carve more time for myself. There’s much to do in this merry month of May. I don’t have as much energy and focus as my younger self. Some things have to go.

It’s a blistering hot day today, up to 32℃. It was almost too hot to sit on the deck by 9 this morning. I did it anyways. At least the deck is covered, out of the sun. I opened both doors to get a breeze. I did not sit in idleness. I was transplanting little tiny seedlings into little paper pots I made. It was almost like performing neurosurgery. I think I will think twice before doing this again. I only have 4 more batches of seedlings to go.

It’s almost 8 pm. Sweat is running down my face as I sit here tapping. I hope we will get some rain after this. I won’t hold my breath though. The earth feels like it’s burning up. I can’t remember when we had some normal spring rain. And what is normal any more?

It is another day/afternoon. Not as hot as yesterday but too warm to sit on the deck. I’m chased back into the relative cool of the house. I’m trying to finish this post/review of how I am doing/progressing. Overall I think I’m making a passing grade. I don’t sweat over the small stuff as much. I don’t let my anxiety put me in the hole. It is just feelings, right? My motto of regardless of how I feel, I get up, dress up and show up still works. As inane as it sounds, life goes on. It’s a healthy treadmill to step on and keep up as best as I can. That’s all that is asked of me.

It is important how I speak to myself in the morning. Good morning, self! is a good opening. The day is then started. I get up, dressed up, wash my face, brush my teeth and show up. How I plan and face the day is important, too. There are must-do things like getting dress, brushing your teeth and showing up for a good breakfast. The next-to-dos are working on projects of sewing my quilt squares, writing this blog, my 6 minute of hula hooping, 6 minutes of marching/walking,squatting exercises. It worked well for me this morning. I even had chili cooking in the Instant Pot for lunch. I even had a trip to Early’s Garden Center for more supplies. Lunch was ready when we got home.

Tomorrow it might not go so well. A little planning and trying the best sets me up for success. I will have to remember that. Oh, I must not forget the conclusion. I am carving out more rest time. I have learn to stop and not push so hard on each and every thing. It is ok to fall behind when I am tired or short of time. There’s no must or die. Some things are not that crucial.

TO DO THINGS WELL

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Here I sit before my keyboard on this second day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m thinking of what useful lesson I have learned to my readers. I have all these thoughts and ideas in my head. What I haven’t learned is how to plan ahead, to make a list of things to talk about. I do almost everything off the cuff on the spur of the moment. I build from the moment that I begin an action. I’m doing just that now. I write a word, as sentence and it builds from there. I haven’t learn another way of doing things.

I did just that with my yard last month. The guy was re-doing our front walk. I watched him breaking up the old cement walk. I saw my perennial beds overgrown with irises and daylilies. I got this itch to dig. It had rained recently and the ground was soft. The call to dig became very strong. Soon, I had all the irises dug up. I started hauling the broken cement around to build new beds. I was successful in this incidence. One thing led to another and I dug up all the daylilies in the other bed. I hauled more broken cement blocks around to create another bed.

Like magic, things fell into order. The irises and lilies were divided. They found new places. I found fruit trees and other perennials on sale. They found homes in the ground before the snow fell on the weekend. I am lucky in this incidence. I couldn’t have done better even if I had planned everything ahead of time. But here on this writing challenge, I am not so fortunate. I am struggling against fatigue, dull thinking and the late hour. This is the lesson I need to learn. To give time in thinking and preparation ahead of time. I believe everything we set out to do is important. If I am going to do something, I should try to do it well.

The hour is late. My eyes are fighting to stay open. Tomorrow, tomorrow is another day. I will try to do better tomorrow.

 

TEDIUM AND TEDIOUS

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Life, at times, seems to be made up of many necessary but tedious tasks – like cleaning and tidying up. Here she goes again! I can hear you say but it is so true. It is 2:27 pm and I’ve just sat down after preparing lunch, eating it and then what I detest the most, cleaning up. Now I’m writing about it. Ha! The tedium. I really want to have a nap now.

But I know the value of order and discipline. My nature is that I don’t really have a driving desire to do anything. If I have my druthers, I would probably be singing Freddy Fender’s, wasted days and wasted nights. I’m one of those people who needs inspiration, challenges and goals. I seldom plan. I might be in a neater, if not better place if I did. It is never too late. That’s what they tell me. I’m inspired to go that route now.

My plan is to have a plan for the day. I’ve been operating on it for a few weeks now. I’m doing the obvious, the hardest and most hated stuff. What is difficult for me is cleaning up and putting stuff away in a timely as well as neatly fashion. When I was in Grade 1 in Hong Kong, one of our assignment was to get a note from our parents. The note was to identify what they thought our worse trait was. Well, my mother thought mine was paper clutter. I dropped them wherever. It was like a show and tell. I was reprimanded by my teacher – very severely I felt at the time.

Obviously, it hadn’t helped me. I am still that clutterbug. I’m changing my ways though. I’m working on the dishes. After washing and drying, I’m painstakingly putting them away where they belong or finding a better place for them. You’re wondering, What’s so painful about that? Well, for me it is! It feels like I’m going against the grain or my nature. It’s like torture. I wonder if I have some kind of disorder.

Things are getting a little easier though. You can see some surface on the dining room table and my desk. I’m ridding my junk mail (hard copies and emails) faster. I’ve lived many days feeling as if I have something needed doing but don’t know what. FINALLY that dreaded feeling is gone. I’m feeling more at ease.

Hmm. I’m feeling more alert and focused. It helps to identify my problem areas. It is nice to see progress. That is why I come here each day to tap on the keyboard. Some days I have great thoughts, exciting news and projects. Some days I am sad or angry. Then there are the doldrums. There is a lot of it in life. When they are taken away from you, that is the time when you see what treasures they really are. So I don’t mind them so much. They are restful. Maybe it is what mindfulness is – learning to sit and stay in the mundane and tedious until they are no longer so. Until you see what jewels they are.