Day 37, August 28, 2016 @9:20
At the end of 37 days, I am weary of setting intentions daily and following through. At the same time it is getting easier. I’m stretching and reaching my goals. I must be developing new muscles and building stamina. I’m still in the early days of my year. I must keep to the straight and narrow. It is my own doing.
At the end of this day, I have to show – 6 loaves of whole wheat bread and two zucchini loaves. Even if I must say it myself, the zucchini loaf is delicious. It is my first try. They are all packed and put away. The bowls, pans, measuring cups and spoons are washed, dried and in their proper places.
It is wonderful to come to the end of the day with my intended tasks completed from start to finish. It hasn’t always been so. Hooray for me! Are you a finisher?
It is late. Good night. Till tomorrow.
Egad! I am here in this space in the same state of mind as yesterday. Not any earlier either. It is habit that has enabled me to be here. A well worn groove in 35 days. If it would help my fatigue, I would scream. It wouldn’t. I’m grinning and bearing and faking it. I hope I make it soon. In the mean time I’ll just keep moving and faking it. In Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, Dr. Ratey states the results are the same (good) even if you don’t feel enthusiastic while exercising. So I am kicking up my heels and pumping my arms to the music of Mama Mia and following our instructor, Val. Monkey see, monkey do is do-able.
Then I sat down with my cup of tea and my book. I felt I’ve really earned it today. It is a very good book. Hard to put down. I finished my tea. Then it was wine and cheese. It is amazing I’ve show up. See, I could feel whatever I feel. It doesn’t have to affect the result. How are you doing? What are your results?
I am a terrible procrastinator. I don’t get a lot done because I delay and postpone everything by having a cup of tea/read a chapter/rest/anything else first. Then I would tackle the task for a little while and repeat the tea, read, etc. My different today was to cut out all the delaying crap. I got to the heart of the issue – tasks first, then reward.
I was surprised by pleasure in hanging the laundry out in sunshine amid my tomatoes. I felt this smile filling me up from the inside as I hung each article. Pretty silly, right? It felt so delicious standing and hanging each wet article to be kissed dry by the sun. I stored the feeling and memory in my body and mind. I will call upon it to help me the next time inertia hits me.
Oh, I do love a challenge. The little engine that could, that’s me! It keeps me going, moving. It gives me purpose. I stand up, walk around. I’m a little more alert. I tap, tap, a word comes, an idea comes. Finally a sentence. I get up, put the kettle on for a cup of tea. A picture and another idea and sentence comes. I build little by little. Knit, purl, kit, purl – row upon a row. Almost half a back. You can see the lacy panel now. By Christmas a sweater I will have.
These late days in August, I’m grateful that the sun still rises early @6:30am. I’m already feeling the pull of autumn. I’m feeling the nesting instinct. It’s so lovely to lay in bed, relishing the laziness, the warmth and the not having to get up if I-don’t-want-to. Attitude and the freedom to have it is glorious. Bring it on – all that and more.
Can you tell that I’ve been into the beer? It’s that beer blush and wide-eyed stare. Pardon me if I’m not too coherent. It does not take much. Just one will do it. But at least I’m here. Thank goodness for spell check. Difficult as it is sometimes, I still get up, dress up. make up and show up. Yes, I’m still putting on my earrings and practicing selfies once in awhile.
Today’s August Break’s prompt, my hands, is a reminder of the pain in the fourth finger on my right hand. It has been a constant, sometimes waking me in the night for the past year. Then in recent months the pain lessened. The finger straightened, not locking as often. This morning, I realized that the pain is totally gone. And I can make a fist and open it freely. Hallelujah!
A pause is good to stop our frantic doings and to assess the situation – how we are doing, do we need to change directions, do we need to make any changes,are we making progress, etc. Sometimes a pause is forced upon us as in an illness. Sometimes it’s a deliberate act. I’ve had both and prefer the latter.
Life was clear this morning. The day was fresh. I was on a new page – reading Ruth Rendall’s The Crocodile Bird. I had already read it once but I have forgotten everything. It read like the first time. I was hooked on the first page! I felt my eyes racing forward, skimming over the words, missing the descriptives for the action. I stopped and read the second paragraph again – how the tail lights went over the bridge and the headlights came around the bend. I found that scene so descriptive. I see it in my head.
onethousandandtwo 