Day 22,August 13, 2016 @2:00 pm
Life is frigging hard. I blame my brain. It likes to be stuck in old habits. It likes easy. Then I blame the weather. I feel every storm brewing, every drop and rise of pressure. The clouds are building again. I am stuck so now I’m having a cup of tea. That’s my remedy for everything.
Life was clear this morning. The day was fresh. I was on a new page – reading Ruth Rendall’s The Crocodile Bird. I had already read it once but I have forgotten everything. It read like the first time. I was hooked on the first page! I felt my eyes racing forward, skimming over the words, missing the descriptives for the action. I stopped and read the second paragraph again – how the tail lights went over the bridge and the headlights came around the bend. I found that scene so descriptive. I see it in my head.
My intention for today is to enjoy the whole read. It’s good to be hooked, but I should be able read all the words, see the setting and characters and let the story unfold chronologically. Quite often I read the beginning and the ending. I might go back to the middle. Then sometimes I don’t. So far so good. I’ve read two chapters. Can’t remember the ending from the first read and I haven’t gone to the end.
Patience, forbearance and happiness are what I am trying to develop in this project of choosing different ways/things. I’m tired of bogged in insufficiency, ruts and having hard times. Even little things/ways are hard to change. They’re probably all biggies. According to Pema Chodron the 3 big difficult practices are:
- Acknowledging what is happening
- Choosing a different alternative
- Making it a way of life.
It makes a lot of sense to me. What do you think? I’m a little unstuck. Back to what I was working on. Till tomorrow.