THE MOON AND ME – AugustMoon Day 8

AugustMoon Day 8 photo prompt

AugustMoon Day 8 photo prompt

I sat outside and told my secrets to the moon.  She listened with full attention, nodding and smiling.  I talked and talked, not stopping for a breath.  At long last I fell silent, empty of secrets.  I realized then the moon had not said a word. Silence was her reply.

How wise she was!  Had she any advice to give, would I have heeded?  So burdened and distraught I was, I would not have or wanted to listen to another. I would have argued and argued.  I would have fought.

Her silence allowed me room to vent, to air my secrets and dissipate the distress they brought with them.  I felt spent but relieved.  I looked up and smiled.  The moon smiled back. I was looking at my own reflection – Sister Moon.

PULLING THE CURTAINS – AugustMoon, Day 7

AugustMoon Day 7 photo prompt

AugustMoon Day 7 photo prompt

I pull back the curtains and I see that it had rained.  The wet pavement glisten under the street lights.  Water cascades in front of the headlights as cars sped down the street.

I watch the world outside from the darkness of my living room window.  It is a peaceful interlude.  The harshness and sharpness of the day are gone, replaced by the soft tranquility of the night.  In this moment, I can feel the world breathing as one.

I can see only as far as the night allows me.  No use in trying to pierce beyond the darkness even if I can see the man in the moon.  It would be just as silly as trying to see into the future.  And yet, we try to do that all the time, don’t we?  Well, no more of that for me!  I will try no more to go beyond the light nor worry into the future.  That is, until the next time when I have forgotten my words.

 

TWILIGHT – AugustMoon Day 6

AugustMoon Day 6 photo prompt

AugustMoon Day 6 photo prompt

There is something about twilight that makes me feel comfy and at ease. The sun has set. The day is done.  Time to put away toil and fret.  Time to put up my feet, watch the evening sky and feel the gentle breeze on my face.

I lean back against the chair. Silence is around me. I take a sip of wine.  I taste its rich redness in my mouth, then the smoothness going down my throat. I sigh softly in satisfaction. There is nothing but this sweetness on my tongue and the sight before my eyes. No need to think, analyze, worry or puzzle over the day or life. This moment is for being in the senses. It will be gone and tomorrow will come soon enough. For now I am here.

 

GUIDED BY THE LIGHT – AugustMoon Day 5

lighthouse

AugustMoon Day 5 Photo prompt

I could see a light in the distance but I wasn’t sure if I could make it that far. Should I try anyways, not knowing? Should I or shouldn’t I?  The tug of war begins.  I am worn out before the journey begins.

The light is waning.  I am losing resolve.  My ugly sister whispers in my ear.  Loser, you can’t do it!  I do not shush her.  I let the words sink in.  Is it true that I can’t do it? Would that make me a loser?  I feel anger rising up towards her, towards myself.

I breathe.  The anger is gone and so is the hesitation.  I take one step forward, remembering what my great, great, great forefather said.  A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.  The light brightens with each step I take.  It beckons me forth.  I am getting closer and closer.  I realize then that the light is a guide and not the end.  Success lies in trying and beginning.

MY SHADOW AND ME – AugustMoon day 4

my shadow

AugustMoon Day 4 photo prompt

So I had a conversation with my shadow the other day.  She finally caught up to me – my dark sister, my ugly twin.  All my life she’s dogged me – beside me, behind me. I had ignored her, looking at her sideways. Sometimes I glanced back at her. But I’ve never looked directly at nor have I acknowledged her.

What is this aversion I have towards my shadowy self?  Is it because she whispers half truths and lies in my ears and tries to scare the hell out of me?  Do I have to jump out of my skin every time she whispers BOO! ?  So I am not perfect.  I am wilful and stubborn.  I am grumpy and ill-tempered and a scarity cat.  But am I really? Is it true?  And does that make me unlovable?  I tell you, I am tired of living under my dark sister’s shadow.

I told her, too!  I brought her forth into the light.  I needed her within me, to help and guide me. Together we are the yin and yang.  You can’t have one without the other. You really can’t.  Have you heard of one hand clapping?

FOREVER IN GLOOM – AugustMoon Day 3

gloomy day

AugustMoon – Day 3 photo prompt

I have been telling myself forever and a day now that I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder.  It has been so long that I believe it.  How can I not?  It’s just lately I’m questioning the validity of it all. Is it true?  Maybe it was a gloomy day, or perhaps it just felt that way because I did. Even so, does that mean I have a disorder?

You know how the song goes – Into each life some rain must fall
But too much is falling in mine
Into each heart some tears must fall
But some day the sun will shine.  

And that, my dear, is how life is – light and shadow, the yin and the yang, what goes up must come down….It does not mean I have SAD, even though I am sad some gloomy and rainy days.  On other such days, I’m restful, creative – baking, cleaning, sewing, reading, writing up a storm.  We all have our moments.  It’s how we are wired.  Let me not label myself in disorders.  Let me accept and revel in the kaleidscope of my emotions.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY FEARS – August Moon, Day 2

AM-day-2-text-600x600

AugustMoon Day 2 photo prompt

Let me tell you what I am afraid of – everything and nothing.  How can that be? How can I explain?

Going out with Sheba for our morning walk, I worried that I might be cold.  I put on warmer clothes.  On second thought, I worried about being overdressed.  I pared down.  How cold can it be when the tomatoes are still ripening on the vine? Heading out the door, I worried about sunglasses.  The sun might come out after all.

Life has been thus for me lately.  I feel much like the photo prompt – hung up by the horns, steeped in fear, going nowhere.  I am grateful to Alana Wolf for providing this space for reflection on this.  Perhaps, solutions will arise from putting fears into words.

The walk was uneventful.  I was dressed just right.  I was not cold nor hot.  The sun did come out.  I did fine without sunglasses.  The leaves and grass were that much greener after yesterday’s rain and without any tinted filter.  The flowers were brilliant in their colours.  The sun was glorious and life giving.

I wonder about my fears of nothing and everything.  What I am most afraid of is the taste of fear.  Have you ever had the occasion – of falling through space, your heart dropping down the elevator shute, goose bumps on your skin, your mouth dry as sand……

Thinking on these, I’ve never had a hard landing.  My heart is always where it is.  Goose bumps go away.  I can always put on a sweater and have a glass of water or cup of tea. Perhaps I dwell on and fight the fear of fear too much.  I’m very much like a dog with a bone about everything – getting to the bottom of things and fix them.  Once and for all!

I see that it might be helpful if I can relax a little.  Let Sheba have the bone.  She is the dog after all.  There’s other pleasures for me – a cup of tea, a square or two of dark chocolate, a good book of fiction, a leisurely swim, a hug or two or three……

IN DARKNESS

beginindarkness

#AugustMoon Day 1 prompt

It is true we all begin our journey in the darkness, in the womb of our mothers.  We leave its safety and burst forth into the light and the world with a grand wailing.  I am feeling it is how we enter each new venture. It is with trepidation and delight – like a child screaming going down a water slide. Oh the fear and exhilaration! Let me not lose either.

I feel the safety wrapped in the arms of darkness, feeling the closeness of my neighbours’ prescence around the campfire. The stars come one by one.  The flames crackle and leap.  The wine is poured.  The conversations begin.  Slowly the barriers recede. We recognize each other.  I look up into the night sky.  It is alive with stars winking and twinkling down upon us.

August Moon  email banner 2

SIT AND STAY IN THE MOMENT

In our present mindset, there will never be enough time or the right moment for the right thing.  We are forever pulled away from ourselves.  There is always something else, somewhere else and something else.  Here and now are never good enough.  We yearn for better and other times.  At least, that is how I was am. I am trying for better.  Well, here I go again – for better instead of accepting what is. 

IMG_2994What is, is that moments are fleeting.  They are like dreams, evaporating with wakefulness and like dewdrops in morning sunlight.  There will always be things to do – dishes to wash and put away, floors to sweep and wash, things to pick up, the Internet to surf, those addicting games to play…..

Be careful of seducers, vying for your attention.  Can you be still and quiet long enough to hear what pulls your heart?  The morning sun will come through these trees just so in this moment.  It will make the tabletop shine like golden custard in this moment.  Shadows will fall in the next.

Photo on 2015-08-12 at 2.54 PMI am sitting here in nature’s backdrop.  Bees and flies are buzzing around.  Sheba is ever watchful, trying to catch them with a snap of her jaws.  The sun is before and behind me.  I feel the soft movement of air on my neck.  A spruce branch stir in the breeze.  I have nothing to do and nowhere to go.  For this moment I sit and stay.

GROUNDING

sunflowersSometimes you have to get lost to find yourself.  That is so with me.  Before that, I never knew how cocooned and protected – how lucky I was.  I was in a fool’s paradise. You can just imagine my distress when I lost myself – adrift in the universe.

I’ve been lost all my life without my knowing it.  I’ve been navigating at life’s wheel without a map, compass or a GPS.  I thought I could just guess, estimate and give it stab and get there.  Well, guess what?  Big surprise – I CAN’T.

At least I know THAT much now – a step in the right direction as they say.  I’m awake and aware, my feet planted solidly on the ground like my sunflowers.  I’m standing tall and erect.  I know where the sun rises.  Look east, young woman, look east.  See which way those yellow heads are facing.  Take heed.  Now that you know, do not keep on trucking down the same wrong road.  Try a different path.  Remember to do that for the rest of your life. It’s a hard task, I know.  But it’s worth your effort.