It’s funny how those aha moments come – out of the blue like a falling star from heaven. I’ve been thus hit this morning. I am sitting here basking in its afterglow, feeling grateful, tap, tapping away on my keyboard. I feel as if I’ve come home after a long journey. Perhaps I have been absent, away from myself for a long while.

I’ve been away, trying to be what I am not.  Trying to grasp what is not mine to have. Trying too hard to measure up to be an exalted angel – to be kind beyond kind, to be generous with a bottomless heart, to be that perfect product without a flaw.  How could I succeed?

I couldn’t no matter how hard I try.  I have tried and been disappointed and heartbroken to learn that I am just human after all.  I am flawed.  I take things personally.  I have resentments.  I am disappointed and disillusioned at times.  I have meanness in me.  I admit that I have all that in me.  I see it.  I am glad.

Why am I glad?  I am glad because now I can move on.  Disappointments and heartache are my good friends, teaching me what works and what doesn’t.  They are ushering me from the valley of the shadow into the light.