It’s Wednesday again and time for Friday Fictioneers and their tales of 100 or so words. We’re hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields of Addicted to Purple. Here’s my 100 words inspired by the photo prompt. I’ve been reading murder mysteries. It might have affected my imagination somewhat.
He had made a mistake. He could see that clearly now. If he could hang on and figure a way out of this, the bitch will pay – big time. He had underestimated her. She was awfully lucky or smarter than he thought.
He better not struggle too much, no sudden moves. It would be disastrous. He took a slow breath, trying to relax his arms and shoulders. Yes, that’s a bit better!
Perspiration ran down his forehead. His eyes stung from the dust and sweat. His throat was dry and scratchy. He was sorry now.
“You’re too late!” She yelled down.
onethousandandtwo 
Right up to the last line I was thinking one way and then wham I was sent the other, great job 🙂
It doesn’t sound good for this guy. 🙂
He had it coming! 🙂
Lily
Nice gender switch in this genre piece.
Good job.
Randy
Thanks, Randy! I was making an effort to come from the other side.
Lily
Who IS sorry now? Well written, my dear.
Thank you, Alicia!
Lily
Great switcheroo!
Much thanks, Dale!
Lily
Sweet revenge. Great characters and an entertaining story.
Yes, I love revenge! And what harm if it’s fiction, eh? 🙂
Lily
The tenses in the first paragraph confused me a little. I took it that he was hanging off a cliff or something and she’s above him, sensing that he’s regretting his actions, so I was confused also about the comments too. Perhaps it’s too early in the day for me.
Tenses is not one of my strong points, Sandra. If you can see how I can improve it, please let me know. Thanks for reading.
Lily
I have a problem with your tenses too, Hafong.
I suspect it might be a good story, but I struggled to understand it.
Why not try writing in the present tense, give it a sense of immediacy?
Thanks for your input!
Lily
Dear Lily,
I was also confused by the tenses. Choose one or the other. I agree with Ceayr. I think putting it all in the present will strengthen it. Good the jerk got what was coming to him.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Tenses and I don’t mix! 🙂 Thanks for your advice.
Lily
I think the guy is in a bad spot truly
He truly is!
Lily
Go girl! Great take on the prompt
Thanks!
Lily
Wow, she’s got quite a temper…and a taste for revenge. He wronged the wrong woman!!!
He surely did. 🙂
Lily
Somehow I think the two deserved each other. I like your twist.
Thanks!
Lily
Uh oh! Well… sounds like he got what he deserved. 😉
Oh, I’m so glad you understand. 🙂
Lily
I had a hard time figuring out exactly what pickle this guy was in.
That’s sort of good! I intended it to be a CLIFF hanger.I understood not to give away too much but maybe I overdid it?? 🙂
Lily
Like Joseph, I’m still trying to figure it out. Is he tied up and in a swallow grave?
He could be anywhere your imagination takes you! In my mind, he was on a cliff. He was trying to kill her, but she did a switcheroo on him. 🙂
Lily