WHO’S SORRY NOW

It’s Wednesday again and time for Friday Fictioneers and their tales of 100 or so words.  We’re hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields of Addicted to Purple.  Here’s my 100 words inspired by the photo prompt.  I’ve been reading murder mysteries.  It might have affected my imagination somewhat.

PHOTO PROMPT – © Connie Gayer …(Mrs. Russell)

PHOTO PROMPT – © Connie Gayer …(Mrs. Russell)

He had made a mistake.  He could see that clearly now.  If he could hang on and figure a way out of this, the bitch will pay – big time.  He had underestimated her.  She was awfully lucky or smarter than he thought.

He better not struggle too much, no sudden moves.  It would be disastrous.  He took a slow breath, trying to relax his arms and shoulders.  Yes, that’s a bit better!

Perspiration ran down his forehead.  His eyes stung from the dust and sweat.  His throat was dry and scratchy. He was sorry now.

“You’re too late!”  She yelled down.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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31 Responses to WHO’S SORRY NOW

  1. helenmidgley says:

    Right up to the last line I was thinking one way and then wham I was sent the other, great job 🙂

  2. It doesn’t sound good for this guy. 🙂

  3. Nice gender switch in this genre piece.
    Good job.

    Randy

  4. Who IS sorry now? Well written, my dear.

  5. Dale says:

    Great switcheroo!

  6. Margaret says:

    Sweet revenge. Great characters and an entertaining story.

  7. Sandra says:

    The tenses in the first paragraph confused me a little. I took it that he was hanging off a cliff or something and she’s above him, sensing that he’s regretting his actions, so I was confused also about the comments too. Perhaps it’s too early in the day for me.

  8. ceayr says:

    I have a problem with your tenses too, Hafong.
    I suspect it might be a good story, but I struggled to understand it.
    Why not try writing in the present tense, give it a sense of immediacy?

  9. Dear Lily,

    I was also confused by the tenses. Choose one or the other. I agree with Ceayr. I think putting it all in the present will strengthen it. Good the jerk got what was coming to him.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  10. I think the guy is in a bad spot truly

  11. Solothefirst says:

    Go girl! Great take on the prompt

  12. Jan Brown says:

    Wow, she’s got quite a temper…and a taste for revenge. He wronged the wrong woman!!!

  13. gahlearner says:

    Somehow I think the two deserved each other. I like your twist.

  14. Uh oh! Well… sounds like he got what he deserved. 😉

  15. I had a hard time figuring out exactly what pickle this guy was in.

  16. rgayer55 says:

    Like Joseph, I’m still trying to figure it out. Is he tied up and in a swallow grave?

    • hafong says:

      He could be anywhere your imagination takes you! In my mind, he was on a cliff. He was trying to kill her, but she did a switcheroo on him. 🙂

      Lily

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