Category Archives: Uncategorized

No Walk in the Park

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Sometimes I wish that the earth would stop spinning so I can step off and get a rest. Life is no walk in the park. I’m complaining again. I’m weary, wishing for a camp, the kind they have for children where I would be entertained and all my cares taken care of. Some smart aleck quipped that it’s called a nursing home. I do not wish for such wherein we lined up, sitting silent and vacant in our wheelchairs. I guess I better stop complaining and keep moving my ass.

I’ve thought of a few changes that I could make to reboot myself. I could lose a few pounds. According to my BMI, I am overweight. I need to lose 17 pounds. Sounds formidable to me. When I was thinking about losing weight the other day, I thought now is not a good time. We are in autumn and my hibernation response is triggered. I want to eat and sleep like a bear. It’s not good thinking. I am making excuses. I need to pull up my socks. I will try even though it is harder. I will cut back the cream and sugar in my coffee and tea. I will move a little more.

Making changes is never a walk in the park. I feel like crying just thinking about it. How many times have I already fallen back into those well worn ruts? Too many to count! There’s no point in shaming myself. It doesn’t work. I will try to visualize what I my successes will be like – as if I’ve achieved them already. Perhaps that is what is meant a vision board. Right now my two wants are to lose 17 pounds and clear my clutter. I am going to create 2 vision boards, one for each want. Wish me luck.

Slothful Thanksgiving Monday

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A cold Thanksgiving Monday. It went down to -2℃ but we are now sitting at 1℃. There’s a layer of ice in the water buckets sitting outside the greenhouse. We have a little heater to keep the temperature above freezing in the greenhouse. I want my little bottle gourds to get big enough to eat. Thankfully no more below 0 in the forecast for the next week. But it will be cool with the high no higher than 13℃.

I’m feeling the hibernation response. I’m slow to rise in the morning, burrowing in the warmth of the duvet. The cold, the grey and a holiday are good excuses for skipping the gym this morning. It’s a good reason to have a second cup of tea. I’m feeling drowsy. I’m slow as a sloth. I don’t think I can slither down a tree even if I have to. At least my fingers are tapping out words for another Ultimate Blog Challlenge post but I am in danger of nodding off.

I have the beginning of soup in the Instant Pot. I threw in what’s left of a roasted chicken, leftover roast pork, some beef bones and tomatoes. I rescued a few stalks of celery from the raised bed. They’re sitting in some water, waiting to be washed and put in the mix. I will have to get up, run up and down the stairs a few times to wake up. I will do a few rounds of hula hoop. I dream of being a hoola hoop queen. I think I have to settle for just being able to keep it up and going. I do hope and aim at being able to walk and hoola at the same time. I wonder if I have enough time.

Getting Ready for Winter

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A rainy Thanksgiving Sunday. I’m happy to look out and see the bright pink garage door. The kiwi leaves are turning golden on the trellis. In its 4th year we are still waiting for blossoms. Maybe next spring. The rain is turning into snow as I tap. Hello winter? Happy we finished harvesting the carrots and leeks from the raised bed yesterday. The greenhouse got its last water from the rain catchment behind the garage. My avocado, rosemary and jasmine are repotted and brought in. The wooden compost unit moved closer to house for easy access in winter. It was hard work. But now I am sitting easy and cosy.

In the greenhouse, the bottle gourd is still going strong. It feels the end is near. It’s popping out little babies like crazy. Too bad pollination is not always a guarantee. They are delicious in soups when they are young. I have one that is getting heavy and needed a little support from an old pair of panty hose. It helps that I never throw out anything.

Thanksgiving Blessing

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Another beautiful sunny day for this Thanksgiving weekend. I have much to give thanks for – bounty harvest, good health and family. Beannacht is a poem written by John O’Donohue for his mother. It means blessing. And I say this blessing for my mother who passed from this life in October of last year.

On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.

And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The grey window
And the ghost of loss
Gets into you,
May a flock of colours,
Indigo, red, green
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
In the currach of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

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Another beautiful sunny October morning for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My thoughts are scattered and disjointed – sad and glad intermixed. It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. First of all I have to be happy that a woman won the Nobel Peace Prize and not Donald Trump. Indeed that is a very good reason to be happy and hopeful that the good will prevail.

Last year was our last Thanksgiving with our mother though I don’t think we all gathered together for a meal. There was much that happened last year. My nephew cooked and catered the meal to each of us. How wonderful was that, eh? This year we will be taking our father out for Chinese tomorrow evening. Then he has an invite from my brother’s mother-in-law for Easter Monday. As for ourselves, we have no plans for a ham or turkey. We can just relax and do whatever. I have never been one big for celebrations. Shame on me?

I do remember Thanksgiving of 2014. How could I forget? We flew to France on Thanksgiving day. There was a problem with my ticket but we didn’t know that till we were boarding at the airport. It was a holiday so our travel agency was closed. We had to buy another ticket right then and there at the airport from Air Canada. We got to Paris and saw it right after we stepped off the plane in the morning. Needless to say it was all a blur. I slept through most of it. The next day we were included in a birthday party. Everyone spoke in French. It was great in that I didn’t have to do any small talk since I have no French.

We got a refund for my faulty ticket from the travel agency after our return home. I can’t remember what was wrong with it. Some things are best forgotten. The French trip was full of drama. I was sick for a long time after we got back to Saskatoon. But there were some bright moments.

Success, Meeting the Goal

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A cool sunny October 9th. I’ve worked my way through the first week of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. And it was hard work, tapping wobbly through each day, searching and finding the words and thoughts. Now a week in, I’m a little more engaged and interested. I’m looking back at my purpose, my goals. I see that it is to cast off my malaise, my dis-interest. I want to see the world in technicolour again. I am weary of the dishwater grey.

I’ve succeeded somewhat. Yesterday was a lovely day. As I stepped into my front yard in the warmth of the afternoon, I felt alive for the first time in a long while. I breathed in and out, taking in the beautiful mess of autumn leaves on the ground, the bare branches reaching up to the blue of the sky. I felt part of the whole universe. I am the breath that is going in and out.

A small step towards the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A week in and 3 more weeks to go. It’s a journey and any journey is a work of art. I have to put my heart into it and paint it with vibrant colours.

What do I Know for Sure

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Day 7 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m scratching my head, not knowing how to start the day or write a post. What I know for sure is if I don’t make a move, nothing will happen. It is also very true simple as it sounds, it is not all that easy to make a move. Sometimes I feel/am immobilized, stuck to the chair, as if one wrong move could cost me and not in a good way. What I also know for sure is life is mostly filled with tedium. I’ve often wished there was a camp for adults like they have for children. I wouldn’t mind being taken care of totally.

I’m sure that you would like to slap me. I should do that myself to snap me out of this thinking. What I know for sure is in reality, I wouldn’t like to be totally dependent with no will. So, I’ve slowly and painfully making efforts. I’ve gone up and down the stairs a few time, taking needed stuff down and bringing needed things up. I’m killing two birds with one stone. I’ve boiled water for a second cup of tea, doing toe raises while waiting for the water to boil. I’ve thrown out the dill in the fridge. It was causing someone to complain about its taste getting into everything.

I’ve cooked the cassava that was hanging out forgotten for weeks in the fridge. It was a new thing introduced to me by our friends on coffee row. It was bought in excitement and quickly forgotten till now. The root is quite hard to cut but easily peeled. It boiled easily within 30 minutes. The aroma was mild and pleasant. It tasted delicious. A word of caution- cassava is poisonous eaten raw. Makes one think twice, doesn’t it?

I’m so glad that I made an effort to move. Thank you to Oprah for the phrase, what I know for sure. Do you know she’s written a book by that name? Having read just the first few pages, I am not in love with it though I am an Oprah fan. She sounded too privileged talking of “hanging out with a group of girlfriends in Mauri; I’ve just come back from India and wanted to have a spa retreat at my house to celebrate turning 58. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. She’s earned it. Still, it didn’t sound right to me. What I know for sure is that I am not quite as big a fan of Oprah as I used to be. I am sure it is not breaking her heart.

On Coffee Row

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A sunny October 6th morning at 10:51. I’m sipping my second cup of tea and tapping on my trusty keyboard. I hope for sunny cheery thoughts and words. No one really likes a sad sack. I have pizza and a salad of cabbage, cucumber, pepper and tomatoes in mind for lunch. What I really like is to go out for a Japanese bento box at the neighbourhood Japanese restaurant called October. Since our cooler is overflowing with our own garden harvest, I thought best to make our own lunch.

I will going out on coffee row in the afternoon. I’ve been taking my father out for coffee every day since summer. He is still living on his own in the house since my mother passed last year. I take him out to the nearby mall to walk and cruise the Dollar Store, Giant Tiger and Freshco. Then we head to the food court to have a coffee. Sometimes we run into a few people we know, friends of my mother. We share some conversation. Now it’s become an almost regular thing. We’ve met some new Chinese people, some my age. Now I have some Chinese friends for the first time.

Coffee row is good for my father and myself as well. We get an outing. We get a walk. We see and interact with other people. We get out of ourselves for a little while. The days are getting shorter and cooler. I shall see how it goes when winter and snow comes. It’s still do-able. There’s underground parking in both malls near us. I can always have coffee with him at his house like I did this past winter.

Am I Having Fun Yet?

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A beautiful sunny October 5 albeit very cool and crisp. I’m feeling very cosy and full of gratitude for the shelter and all that I have. I’m comforted that my mother is safe and at rest in her eternal home. It is almost a year now. Today I am not feeling the sadness of yesterday. That is how it is. One day I’m feeling and mourning the loss. The next, I’m grateful she is not suffering anymore.

Today is day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m already feeling the struggle and challenge. I can’t say I’m having fun yet. I’m feeling the mundanenss of everything. Perhaps it would help if I have a business or product to promote. I see many of my fellow bloggers have shopping carts and services on their web page. I have to be satisfied with my idle chatter. What I know for sure is I am not an entrepreneur. My eyes glaze over just thinking of selling something.

So I should just snap out of envying others’ entrepreneurship and be happy they have a business to promote. It is not for me. I am showing up here. That is my number 1 goal. I am trying my best. The fun can come later. I enjoy just chattering. I do not have to be profound.