Tag Archives: writing

STILL GHANA – memories

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January 5. Day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. A busy day of cooking. Made a big pot of chili this morning. Now doing a turkey. It is in the oven. Simmering stock for gravy on the stove. No time for a skii today, not that I have the energy. Trying to stay afloat and have fun in the challenge. Travel memories are always precious. Good thing I made some notes. Here’s part 2 to my post from Ghana in March of 2011.

The Slowness of Africa

I last left Rod at the optical shop getting his eyes checked.  In a very short time he came out with the technician.  How good could that test be when it couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes?  I thought that confirmed what I thought about things not working well in Africa.  As it turned out, the electricity went out and we would have to wait till it comes back or the generator kicks in.  We waited…not too long and power was restored.  And as I am typing away on my laptop now, I thought I might as well charged it up because by the time I’m done, my battery would be down to 5%.  So I flick the switch on the plug-in to turn the power on…..the lights went out!  I quickly switched the power to the plug in off and flick the light switch a few times before the lights came back.  Phew!  Good thing Rod is sleeping.

And so that is the way with life here.  You can not rush it along.  You have to accept its pace or it will eat you up.  Life can be very good here but it is not without struggles.  And I have asked some of the overseas people here why they love this place so much.  Freedom is often the answer.  I have a difficult time understanding that when there is so much bureaucracy to wade through so often. Sometimes getting a meal is a big production.  And if other people do your laundry, you’re not quite sure what shape your clothes will come back in.  But the more people I meet and talk to, the more understanding I developed. …of their dreams and what they hope to create.  I see in glimpses of what they mean by ‘freedom’.  It’s these glimpses that I see that motivates me to write…in the hopes that I will free myself to live my own dreams.

MEMORIES OF GHANA

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January 4. Day 4 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and already I am feeling challenged. It is a beautiful sunny day but I am not feeling one with it. I am feeling heavy and plodding. It didn’t help that I drove into a snowpile trying to make a perfect entry into the garage. Thank goodness that the guy was not too far away. Thank goodness for a very helpful daycare worker nearby. She was an expert in getting unstuck. Too bad she can’t help me here.

I’ve adopted new goals for this challenge. They are to show up every day with a post and to have fun. I’m not going to beat my head on the wall to come up with something interesting. Instead, I’m going back in time to March, 2011 when I visited Ghana. I had posted a few notes on FB during the visit. Here is one of them. It seems like a good day to travel back even if only in my mind. I feel lighter just thinking of no mountains of snow, no heavy coats, scarfs, snow pants, boots, mitts and hats.

A Day of a Visitor in Ghana

I am sitting out on our little deck, listening to the surf, feeling the warm African breeze ripple through my hair.  All my cares and stress prior to leaving seem absurd somehow….melted by the African heat.  What do I need of makeup or perfume when sweat is a constant thing?  Or even taking a bath when you get sweaty just the same right after?  I had worried about my hair…whether it would have body or hold its shape.  Do I need to bring my mousse or glue?  I laugh now because quite often, I do not even comb my hair.  All I had to do was to fluff it with my hands, sans mirror.  And then one day, Miss Charlotte showed up at Escape3Points.  After that, I tried at least to put on my eyebrows.  To me, Miss Charlotte was bigger than life.  I don’t know why Gladys Knight came to mind but perhaps because the name sounds big.  Miss Charlotte was what I call ‘dressed to kill’, with tight black pants and high heels, wig, makeup that glows and perfume to sweeten any sweat.  I wish I could be a Miss Charlotte on occasions.

Yesterday, we went to Takoradi.  We thought that we had to take Paul, one of the workers here, to a hospital to have a hernia operation.  But in the morning, Paul came to work, saying he felt better and that someone had advised him a white European doctor was coming and that his services were free. Paul decided to go with someone on Monday to check it out.  So we went by ourselves.  Rod had broken the frame of his glasses so that was one of the tasks we had to do.  So we proceeded down the red dirt road again, raising red dust behind us.  Unlike in the West, we passed many people on foot and bicycles.  Everyone waved.  Many people, I think mostly women carried things on their heads.  How they stayed up there is amazing to me.  I saw a woman in Takoradi with a suitcase on her head, a baby on her back and carrying things with both her hands.  When I see things like this, I wonder if Africa is the last frontier.  I am not sure myself what I mean by that.  In Africa I still see, with my Western-Eastern eyes, that many people are still tied to the land, whether it is by walking the earth in their bare feet or working closely with the land, harvesting the crops.  On roads, streets, villages, etc. you see people together in little groups, big groups, maybe one by one.  Back home, in Canada, I have remarked frequently since I got a dog and we have to go for our walks/runs, that there are seldom people on the streets, especially in winter except the dog people.  We go everywhere in our cars.  And though many of us have big yards, there’s seldom any people in our well manicured front lawns. I often feel I live on a lonely planet.

I was not sure what to expect of an optical shop in Ghana.  I was not sure of what at all to expect in Ghana.  We climbed up some stairs to the optical shop.  Some man was cleaning the window to the door and he stopped to allow us in.  He is a salesman.  There is pretty young girl also behind the counter.  They showed us some frames before the technician came to test Rod’s eyes.

……To be continued lateer….my internet tres sloooow

BAKING AND BREAKING BREAD

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January 3. Day 3 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m baking bread today. Maybe it’s a good time to break some bread, too. It’s a beautiful sunny morning with a temperature of -13℃. It is -11℃ in the greenhouse. I wonder how warm it will get in the afternoon. The days are getting longer. I will have to start some tomatoes, peppers and eggplants soon. I can plant tomatoes in the greenhouse in March. I don’t have to worry about low temperatures at night since we have a little heater can kicks in at certain set temperature. The peppers and eggplants are slow growing and need a long growing season. 

With the beautiful weather out, I’m itching to go skiing. I’ve got the skier’s high and addiction. I will hold myself in check and tend to the home hearth. When I get everything tended to and there’s time, I will go. I like to go in the early mornings when the sun is just rising. Then I feel I’m one with the universe. But I am learning to be more flexible. Afternoons are fine, too. The bread needs baking. Lunch need to be need. Then there is the clean up. I am learning order also.

A successful day! And I am sitting here, sipping a decaf and having a piece of my freshly baked bread with my home made chokecherry jelly. I’m tapping the finishing touch to this post. Not a great post but I have to be satisfied with it. There are so many things calling for my attention. And I want to heed their calls. I couldn’t resist the sun. It pulled me out to the ski trail though I was tired. It was a good picker upper for late afternoon fatigue. 

ENCHANTMENT

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January 2. Day 2 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. So far, so good. I’m still here, showing up and fulfilling my commitment of writing a post a day. It sounds easy when I’m in the moment of doing it one day at a time. I don’t have a plan. I write because it is my therapy of choice for dealing with all the stresses of every day living. My writing is the place I come to dump all my negativity. It is my sounding board. It is my planner. It listens and I feel heard and not judged. I share because it is a requirement of the challenge. I share because I have nothing to hide. It is hard for me to harbour all the bad stuff and joy inside. If my experience is of help to others, I feel all the better for it. And they might share something of benefit to me.

I’ve just finished a photo challenge, December Reflections,  with Susannah Conway wherein we post a photo a day to a prompt. It is exactly my cup of tea – words prompting a picture. The prompt for the last day was: My Word for 2023…And here is my photo and words.

December Reflections. Day 31. MY WORD(S) FOR 2023 are LETTING GO of thins that no longer work. Finding the JOY in the SIMPLE things of life.

I think they are very good words to live by and to write by. I had been hanging on to so many things that no longer served me. I was afraid of change of letting go. I was afraid of empty spaces. Now I have more energy and room for new and better things that matter. It’s taken this long for me to see it. I feel such joy in having the weight lifted. I am going slow in exploring my new discovery. I am keeping things easy and simple. I am enchanted and in love with life in this moment. I am in the honeymoon phase. I hope it will last. I will listen to Bruce Lipton talk about the honeymoon effect on how to maintain it. Meanwhile, here are a few more visual enchantment from the Enchanted Forest at the Forestry Farm in Saskatoon. New Year’s evening was a perfect time for a drive through Candy and other fairy tale Lanes.

A NEW YEAR AND CHALLENGE

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January 1, 2023. A brand spanking new year, a new day and a blank page. I’m hoping to fill the page with ease and interest. This month I am writing a post a day for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve been doing it for quite a few years now. It’s useful to keep me on track and accountable. It always help to have the comradeship and encouragement of other bloggers and participants. Then we have our digital maestro, Paul Taubman to lead us. It’s as close to being in a children’s camp as I can get. Growing up, I’ve always envied the kids that had the opportunity of going to summer camp. I never did. Now I have a whole 31 days of it with no mosquitoes or poison ivy. Yippee!

My goals for this round of the challenge are the same as other times. And that is to show up every day with a post and to have fun. I don’t have a business to promote. I write for the pure pleasure of using words and photos. I see pictures in words and photos tell me a story. Recently I’ve upgraded my WordPress account in order to have a larger media library. This gives me occasion to play around with that and other new features that comes with my new plan. I hope this month will enhance my expressiveness with words and photos.

It is now getting into the late afternoon. My flair and enthusiasm for words are waning. We had dim sum with family followed by an afternoon ski, followed by a game of Chinese chess. They all eat up energy. I’m a bit tired but it was wonderful to be out and about. It’s wonderful to be able to bring my parents out for a meal. It was too bad that there was none of their friends at that restaurant. But we enjoyed what we can and had. We couldn’t have asked for a better day. It was beautifully sunny and warm.

Photo by Yeung Gento Tochtli on Pexels.com

ROUNDING UP DECEMBER

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December 28. When you are an early riser and you are in the flow, you can do an amazing amount of stuff. That is how I am feeling today. I am in the flow. I am at ease and comfortable in my own skin. My brain reset itself overnight. I am happy again. However I am feeling a tad sleepy, having risen at 5:30 this morning. Time for a ginseng coffee and a muffin. They might give me a boost.

I was biting into my muffin when the guy came out of his room. He asked if I wanted to play a game of Chinese chess. I really wasn’t keen. I had found a chess set my uncle had sent me from New York a long time ago. It hasn’t been used. We didn’t know how to play but had set it up. I googled and printed out some instructions and we had played just one game. I felt tired just thinking about it. I acquiesced thinking it would be a good exercise for my brain. It’s gotten lazy, wanting to go the way of least resistance.  

I think that’s why I scroll and google so much. It is easy and mindless. It has taken over parts of my life without my awareness. I wonder whatever did I do before the world wide web. How did I start my day without Facebook and Instagram? How did I learn anything without Google? I’ve been thinking about these questions lately. I think I’ll sleep on it tonight. Sandman is tugging on my eyelids. I did a lot of shovelling today. Can you believe we had at least 10 inches of snow since December 25? It’s getting hard finding space for it all. 

December 31. Here I am, in the last hour of 2022. Life happened. More snow happened resulting in more shoveling. I’m back to finish this post so I can start on a new page for 2023. The snow has stopped. The streets are being cleared. The snow piles have settled some. We were able to head out for an early ski this morning. The sun was rising as we started out on the ski track. It was a beautiful sight, a good sign and feeling to end the year with. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

TAMING MY BEAST

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December 27. I’m having one of those early morning awakenings when I can’t fall back to sleep. It was better for me to get up rather than lay in the dark with dark and unpleasant thought and feelings. It is 7:00 am an -12℃ outside. I’m on my second cup of tea, have scrolled through social media and played today’s Wordle. It would be better if I could skip the scrolling but it’s become part of my morning routine for waking up. 

Surprisingly, my bad thoughts and feelings dissipated with my rising, turning on the lights, brushing my teeth and having my cups of tea. I am surprised only because I have been/am paying attention to when these moods come and go. They had been more frequent in the past. I like to think that I now have a better handle on them. Even though I know better and that I am not alone, I feel alone. I know I am not a failure but feel so in these times.

So this is the nature of my beast. I have accepted and befriended it. I am becoming a scientist in its investigation. I wonder how I can use it for my betterment instead of detriment. For one thing, it has made me realize that I can control it. I am not at its mercy. It has driven me to seek not only the why of its existence but also ways to work with it so that life can be as easeful, pleasant and meaningful as possible. I’m seeking ways of being kinder to myself with less self blame.

It is not the best time to be a think tank when I am being squeezed by my beast. My brain is in a thick fog. It would’t be able to figure out how to get out of a wet paper bag. The best activities for me would be to clean anything – like wash the dishes, floors, windows. I can still draw pretty good in these moods. Tapping out the words and moods is soothing and comforting. Cross country skiing is my newest, most fun and effective tool. My mind and senses are fully occupied. There’s no room for dark and ugly thoughts.

This is it, all that I’m able to write today. I had fallen off my writing wagon for a week. A week ago, I was bright eye and bushy tailed. A week ago it was sunny and bitterly cold, in the -30s ℃. But I felt oh so well. I feel better now just remembering how good I felt. I will hang on to the memory. My spirit dipped on December 24 when it got cloudy and up to -16℃ overnight from -34℃. We’re in for a stretch of clouds and snow ahead. I’m geared to make my own sunshine.

MY KIND OF DAY

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December 20. We’re a day away from the shortest day and longest night of the year. There’s light in the tunnel now. I can start emerging from the cocoon of my mind and claw my way out into the sunshine. I have to admit that I’ve spent more time in the valley of the shadow this December. It wasn’t that bad since I did not put up a fierce fight. I greeted it with gentle acceptance. That made the difference. 

I’m working at this conversation. It would be easier if I came at an earlier hour when I’m more up. But I needed that energy to do the ADL (the activities of daily living). Being so cold and dark this morning, I did not go out with my skis. I was content to stay put, read and make soup. I was not content long, disturbed by the noisy snow blowing from next door. I was irritated and unsettled. John Grisham’s The Rooster Bar was not engaging me either. It got rather monotonous and boring. Looks like it’s just not mine opinion only according to ratings on Goodreads. I might just dump it. Why waste my time, eh?

Irritated, I pounded on the piano for awhile, getting out my frustrations. By then the sun had come out, shining full and bright. The sky was so blue and the snow so white. It was a totally inviting picture. I made up my mind that I was going skiing after lunch no matter the cold temperature. Besides there was no wind. It was my kind of day.

I was not disappointed. I had the guy drop me off at the park on his way to his boat building workshop. The park was a picture of perfect white beauty. School must be out for Christmas. No children around. Not a soul was seen. Just me, bundled up like an eskimo, walking on sticks. After making once around the park, I was limbered and faster, almost gliding along the track. You might think I knew how to ski. I was pumped coming off my skis at the end. Ok, I was panting a little, too. It was a little harder breathing through a mask, but it kept out the cold air. 

Now, it is day’s end. I am content with no angst or anxiety. The dining room table is still clear. I’m looking forward to the morning and another day.

CHASING THE GOOD VIBES

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December 18. It’s another evening. I’m sipping on my glass of wine, feeling mellow and not as tired and heavy as I was in the afternoon. December and winter can do that to me. I have to remember not to fret so about it. I have to let go of this idea of ‘getting things done’ and being chipper as a chipmunk.

I was trying hard to get my thoughts and myself organized. I managed to get the lunch dishes done and put away. That’s a new habit I am adopting – cleaning and putting things away promptly. It stops things from piling up. My dining room table is still clear. It’s only a couple of days. Nothing to be proud of but I am. Every day it stays that way deserves a mention.

I am not getting far or fast with this post but every word is an accomplishment. I am having to work for it. When I am weighed down, feeling like a ton of bricks, nothing flows. It’s amazing that I got out on the ski trail early this morning. That’s the benefit of an established habit. I’ve done it enough times. My body moves of its own accord. I know that I will feel great once I’m out – climbing up the hills and sliding down the slopes. I’ll be chasing the good vibes, banishing the bad ones.

It is almost 8 pm. I’ve finished my glass of wine. I’ve used up all my words. It’s time for me to do my stretches and call it a day.

BEREFT/JOY

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December 14. We’re almost halfway through December, 11 days till Christmas and 7 days till the shortest day of the year. I am not sure of how I should feel. But today is not the groovy day of yesterday. I think I will classify it as one of my S.A.D. days. The biggest challge for me is to not take it personally and put my best foot forward. That best is not to put my BAD and SAD on anyone else. That means not taking it out on myself either. I did say it is the BIGGEST challenge, didn’t I?

How shall I tackle the challenge? I cry alot about the difficulties but really it’s difficulties that leads me forward. I do not want to be stuck in sad and bad. I will try to be as joyful as possible. I hate to rain on this universal celebration of Jesus in the manger and the ho ho ho of Santa Claus. But I do feel bereft. And how shall I proceed? My first step is to sweep out my cynicism and bitterness. Change my attitude. I once felt the holiness of Christmas and Easter and Lent. I do not know if I believe in the God out there or of Jesus. But I have felt the loving spirit. I want to feel it again. 

It is ok to be silly.

It is ok to believe in Santa.

It is ok to have fun.

It is ok to still love and miss Sheba.

Moving on, I have cleared my dining room table. It does make me feel better. I vow to keep it this way by clearing it every night. I am uncomfortable with some cleared psychological spaces. I can sit with those for awhile until I know how to fill them. Sometimes empty spaces, physical or psychological feel unsafe and unfulfilled. There’s a need to stuff them up. I’m resisting the urge. It’s not an easy task any time, but especially difficult in this season where much is made of the joyful season. 

December 15. It’s 11:21 am. The sun is streaming through the sunroom windows. What a beautiful winter day. The temperature is -16℃ outside. Checking the greenhouse, it is -7.5℃. In 3 months I can start planting in there. I think I better give my moods a kick in the ass. I have no time to be maudlin. It’s almost time for me to start a few seedlings if I want some early tomatoes. Peppers and egg plants need lots of time to grow and mature. Their fruits were coming into abundance just when the season was coming to an end. 

The greenhouse in winter’s repose, waiting for spring.

I’ve come to believe that I do have a choice as to how I feel. There’s a limit. There’s no other way to feel in the face of tragedy except bad. In that case, I would accept and laid down with it and wait for the wave to slow and ease up. But in the every day hair pulling, thorns in the sides kind of irritations, I have the power and ability to respond in a healthy responsible way. There is no gain in losing and blowing my gaskets all to hell – except high blood pressure and other bad side effects. I choose higher ground and joy, the path of my ancestor, Lao Tzu. I hope I can remember that in the heat of anger and in the depth of my blues. Let us pray.