Tag Archives: learning

PANCAKE SUNDAY

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It’s 10 am Sunday. 5℃ outside, 9℃ in the greenhouse. It was 4.3℃ at 7:30 this morning. I can leave things uncovered at night. But it would be just my luck that the temperature would plunge if I did that. I will be patient and careful till April. It will be good exercise walking back and forth to the greenhouse now that my ski season is over. I will keep up with the routines to keep my head and heart healthy.

Sundays are for bacon, eggs and sourdough pancakes. For a moment I had thought today was Saturday but then I remembered our breakfast. Where would we be without these time reminders? And Saturdays used to be swim mornings and breakfast at A&W after once or twice a month. Saturdays used to be dusting chores when I was a child. I had to do some laundry, too. That was before we had a washing machine. I learned to use a washboard and to rub the cloth between my hands. My mother was preparing me for when she had to go to the hospital to have my little brother. Even though my grandmother came to stay during that time, I was expected to do the chores.

My mother prepped me well for life. I know how to keep house, mend and sew, pay bills and not live beyond my means. I never had to cook though. I guess I learned from observation and trial and error when out on my own. Her passion for us was education. She made sure we had time for homework and studies. She only had the opportunity of Grade 3 in China but she never stopped learning. I guess I got the bug from her. If something catches my interest, I’m off investigating and experimenting. That’s how I got into the sourdough. It was a year or two before the Covid-19. It started with just a bit of water and flour. Thank goodness for Google and the generosity of people who want to share their knowledge. The little bits of water and flour grew and tranformed into loaves and pancakes. It’s somewhat magical. You can learn anything if you have a mind to.

MISTAKES MAKE GREAT TEACHERS

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Mistakes Make Great Teachers

It’s no wonder I failed NaNoWriMo both times I tried. Writing can be strenuous and I am seldom an Energy Bunny. I have my bright moments but I burn out quickly. My plate is rather small. I can handle only small portions. I try to do them daily. I will not crank out an amazing novel this month. I won’t be able to total up to 50,000 words by month end. That would entail writing 1,700 words daily, an impossible task for me. I tend to be a Hallmark card writer – short and sweet.

Short and sweet works on a busy day. It doesn’t have to be creative or poetic. Just get to the point. Put down the facts. I can analyze and deduce at a later date. Yesterday was such. I was very tired but I pushed through to post here. It’s a recording of seeding the vegetable greens. It showed what kind of greens, the temperature in the greenhouse and the date.

My mental list for today was a 7 am swim. I cancelled it at bedtime knowing how tired I was. I don’t have to do everything. It will give someone else a spot to swim instead of me just not showing up. I’m learning to be more thoughtful and methodical in this Covid time. It was a good move because getting up during the night caused me considerable back pain. Was it the shovelling of dirt and lugging it to the greenhouse? Did I worked out too hard in my morning exercise class? I obviously didn’t do either right. Not hip hinging but bending over incorrectly.

It occurred to me the water might have been beneficial. But I can’t second guess myself. The quiet time of nothing to do in the morning was heaven, the best rest and pain reliever. The tylenol didn’t hurt. Time out also allowed me opportunity to view some videos on greenhouses and growing vegetables in cold climates. Not all videos are equal though. Some are boring because the presenter was long winded. Some took forever to get to the jist even though there were interesting and useful information. My favourite guy is the OYR Frugal & Sustainable Gardening. It helps that he is a musician and has a cat. Have a look for yourself.

I now know that I already made mistakes seeding in planters instead of right in the ground. Things freeze easier in planters. Our raised beds in the greenhouse are not yet made. I was in a hurry. I felt the march of time towards winter. But no worries. Making mistakes is probably the best teacher. Besides, we have no idea what will happen in the greenhouse this winter. We don’t know what this winter will be like. Having both, seedings in planters and the raised beds will give us simultaneous comparisons. All is not loss. There’s much to be gained from mistakes.

I’ve taken some temperature readings in the greenhouse over the course of the day. Keep in mind, we do not have a door yet, just a sheet for the covering. It will make for a quicker loss of heat once the sun goes down.

TimeGreenhouse TemperatureOutside Temp.
7 am2C1C no sun
9:24 am7C2C
10:50 am25C7C
12 noon34C10C
4:40 pm20C14C no sun

That’s it for my day. No heroic deeds but a few steps around the neighbourhood. It’s a nice habit to get back to. How strange our weather. It was a balmy 14 degrees Celsius. I sat in the sun and meditated with my little monk when I got back. Then I harvested basil from my desktop garden, chopped them up and infused with olive oil in an ice cube tray to freeze for future use. A nice, aromatic end.

DAY 15 UBC – I’M MAD AS HELL

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I’m Mad as Hell

I’m mad as hell. I’m going to take it but I’m not wasting it. All that pent up energy going to waste. No sir! It’s fuel. I’m putting it use. I’m not letting it turn into methane gas. We have too much of it already.

So I had my rant, stomped my and screamed a bit. Then I donned my warm jacket and my YWCA Take Back the Light toque from last year and headed out the door. -2 Celsius was nothing when I’m all fumed up. It was beautiful and sunny. The neighbourhood was lit up by autumn colours. I walked by Carol’s (Sheba’s sitter) old house. I see the chair lift in the front. I am reminded of how minor my problems are. A few houses down Dracula was sleeping in his coffin. That was until I walked by. Then the coffin creaked open and he slowly rose. How Sheba used to always barked and balked at this.

A little harmless Halloween scare is good for the soul. It’s better than being pissed with steam coming out of my ears. I try not to be my old self but I don’t always win. So now I’m trying to let it go, look for the gold and enjoy life. My sleep has been disturbed these last while by my neighbour’s light on her garage. It casts a giant panarama bright enough for a movie set, I am sure. It’s on all night and looks like will be 24/7. Yes, I’ve approached her with various solutions. We even invited her in for a glass of wine. She was opened in changing to a different less glaring lightbulb. But it is of same wattage. It is better but it still casts light through my venetians and reflect on the wall. She already has another light on 24/7 on the side of the garage and a motion sensor light above her back door which she does not turn on at night.

So after a night of sleeping pill aid, I let her know that the light was still a problem. From her answer and our past history, I know that she is not opened at all. It is up to us to make the changes. And we will. We don’t want responsibility for her falling or robbed and attacked because of poor lighting. It’s good to remember the onus rests on yourself. You will never go wrong there. I will get the guy to install some nice curtain rods. I will create and design some nice embroidered ones. My mind is easing and creating already. I am a creator, not a fumer. Lesson learned.

DAY 10 UBC – DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LOVE

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Dedicated to the One I Love

It’s Saturday, the day my fur baby left for doggy heaven. We miss her but life goes on as the saying goes. It is true. It does. For everything that happens, the world still spins on its axis as it rotates around the sun. And we are all going along with it. Saturday is still my favourite day even though she is no longer here with me physically. My memories of her are warm and sweet.

I will have none of the bitter sweet stuff. I am careful of my thoughts and what I feed my brain. Loss and the end of things can be/are painful but it is the natural order of things. There is a beginning, middle and an ending to all living things. The challenge lies within our finiteness. We don’t have forever. Time is precious like water. I don’t want it to drain/waste away. This is one of those AHA moments I’ve encountered in this Ultimate Blog Challenge.

I’m learning when to turn off the tap. There’s no point in bashing my head against the wall on things I can’t change. I’ve only hurt myself. It is insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Things are not complicated but we make it so. I am having fun and learning as well in this round of the Challenge. Sometimes it is challenging, trying finding the time to write every day and read others and comment as well. But I also find it motivating. I just do the best I can. We are all different. I admire those who does it so well. I try to return visits when I can.

As you can see, I AM finding my way around this new WordPress thing. In the end it turns out the same. I was stuck on the classic version. I hung on with tooth and nail – till they took it away. I was forced into changing. The change is good for my brain’s neuroplasticity. I was hanging onto Sheba hard, too. I couldn’t hang on forever. I have my sweet memories without the bitter part. She was the most pretty and happy girl. I love her.

Day 2 Ultimate Blog Challenge – The Pleasure of Showing up

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Oct 2/2020

The Pleasure of Showing Up

So here it is, the 2nd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m eager to start my day. I’m ready to put the pedal to the metal and wham! I’m faced with an obstacle, a huge stumbling block. WordPress has changed – with no instructions. Egad! Life is like that. This is art imitating life. I best just get on with it and tap. I’m here. Let me enjoy the experience of trial and error. It’s what I’m good at – tapping without instructions.

I’m a little disconcerted at the moment. It might take me a little to get this post together. I’m faced with a big blank page without all those gizzmo. There are no sidebars. It’s like swimming in the ocean. No edge of the pool to hang on to in case of drowning. But I’ve uploaded a cover photo. I like it. I can write on it. I can move it to left, right or middle. So far I haven’t figured out how to resize it. No matter. It looks good. I can go like this for the whole month. And sometimes the things you need just pop out at you in the moment. I’ve just found where the word count is clicking on the i with a circle around it. Life can be fun and informative if you show up.

I have this motto: No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. I borrowed it from Regina Brett. It’s a pretty good one and she is a pretty neat lady. Wow, I found how to add a link on this new WordPress thing-a-ma-jig! Now if I can figure out how to add tags, everything else would be a bonus. But carrying on, showing up is a big thing. Many times I’ve been present in body but not mind. I’m sure I’ve missed many moments but I’m not going to cry over spilt milk. Let me start from this moment, to be in the moment and appreciate what I have.

I love my early morning moments when the rest of the world is still asleep. I see my world through a clearer lens. The other morning I saw and felt the pleasure of my surroundings. I saw the sunlight playing on the wall and floor. I could see from my place in the sunroom – the dining room and all the way to the livingroom. I was fully present in the moment. It felt magical.

I think I have had enough fun for now. It is very cool, this new WordPress. I’ve discovered how to resize photos and where to add tags. I better quit while I’m ahead. I’ll be back for more fun tomorrow.

PROCESSING, LEARNING

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There are times now I can smile instead of cry when I think of Sheba. When I woke this morning I heard the guy in the kitchen. It was like other mornings when Sheba was here on earth. The two of them would make coffee. Then I would hear the kibbles drop into Sheba’s bowl. I could hear her crunching- more thoughtful now that she’s older. I knew that this was in the past, but the sounds and feelings were the same. I was hearing the wonderful sounds of an ordinary morning. And I smiled.

Over yesterday and today, I’ve washed Sheba’s bowls and toys. I cried then, clinging to the doggy memories attached to these things. I will store them away. Maybe we will be graced with another tender canine heart in awhile. For now I will just be with how life is, not trying to fight or change anything. Some days are better than others but I am always making an effort. However small it is, it is my best effort at the time.

I hope I don’t sound too obsessed and depressing. I am a little melancholy by nature. I’m a little more so in my writing. It is my tool for venting and working through my thoughts, feelings and problems. I am by no means a slouch or a couch potato during this period of mourning. I still get up, dress up and show up every day. I might be operating on a slower speed.

It is another day. I’m still working on this post. I must be slow as molasses in winter. It is summer and we’ve just starting to have some warm days. I did find it difficult to get out of bed this morning. Not all mornings are equal. I was thinking there was no Sheba to get me up. So I must do it by myself. And I did. That’s pretty good, isn’t it?

 

THE HEART OF THE MATTER

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One of my problems is that I have to get to the root of everything. I’m obsessive about it. I dig and dig, trying to get to the heart of the matter. Sometimes it does me in. I’m worse off. There’s such a thing as knowing too much. I go into overwhelm. Another problem is it takes a long time for me to overcome an every day illness like a cold. These two are not a good combination. It comes as a no surprise now that it’s a huge battle for me. They take away much of my time and energy. Quite often I feel I’m robbed of huge chunks of life.

I see some of the error of my ways. I don’t have to get to the root of everything. They will be revealed to me in time. AND I do have a lot of knowledge already. I have to accept how my body heals. I cannot hurry it along. It goes into more stress and I into more distress. Everything gets worse and I go beserk. Not a good scenerio. Now I have learned to chill, just be in my usual mode of moping along, laying in the sun, sipping my tea, watching my navel, do a little of this, a little of that, and not trying to get anywhere. In essence, be the tortoise.

On the other hand, it is always good to rise to the challenge. I should not so readily accept my bodily’s inability or my mind’s disability without question. I should at least give it a good go without pushing too hard. There’s the rub, to have good judgement and to have balance. Upon rising in the morning, I drink my little cup of hot water with freshly squeezed lemon juice. I meditate to the voice of Mark Williams on Youtube. Then I listen/watch something educational and uplifting. This morning it was a lecture on Immunology 101 from the University of California. I have a passion for learning. I just need to keep in mind not to pursue it to the nth degree AND to put the knowledge into practice.

I’m coming out of my body and mind funk. The other night I gave up fretting, took a pain killer, laid on the couch and watched two episodes of Grace and Frankie. Comedy can be healing. Then I popped a sleeping pill and went to bed. Uninterrupted sleep is very healing. I’m not advocating medication but sometimes it is what I need to get over the hurdles. When all else fails, it is how I get over my over obsessive mind so that I can heal. Now that I’m unchained, I’m in a better place. I’m soaking up the sun in my space, tapping out my melody. Meanwhile it is cold out, baby. I don’t feel it, only the warm healing sun though the windows.

GUT AND BRAIN

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Thursday, January 23, 2020. It’s a sourdough bread making day 1 of 2 or 3. It’s a slow methodical process. So why am I doing it? Why don’t I bake the normal loaves? I do. It was during the July Ultimate Blog Challenge that I got on the ferment bug and gut health. First it was the kimchi. You can Google it and find tons of recipes. My favourite is this kale kimchi. Then I started making my own yogurt. After a couple of months of eating kimchi, I noticed that I was digesting the yogurt better. Somewhere in there I was introduced to sourdough by the Zero Waste Chef. This is the recipe I use from her site. The recipe is based on Michael Pollen’s recipe from his book Cooked.

Back to the why. It would be so much easier and less work to just buy it. But the thing is, I like learning and doing difficult things. It is good for my brain as long as I have the instructions in print. I learn everything best that way. I’m a dyslexic listener. Don’t bother giving me verbal directions or instructions on anything. I will stop listening after the first right turn. I will be lost from the get on. And I won’t be able to find my way home.

Almost the end of another day – day 23 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m still here, coming to my keyboard a little earlier. My sourdough loaves are formed and chilling overnight in the fridge. They are my 6th batch. My best ones so far. Morning will tell if I’m right. I’ve been investigating different recipes and websites and fiddling and changing the procedures a little. Bread making is flexible and forgiving. So far, no matter the outcome, the bread is always delicious. Life can be that way, too, if I let it.

 

 

 

LEARNING TO BE A WANNA BE

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Wednesday and I am wandering the hallowed halls of learning. I feel more at ease amid the crowd of young people now than when I was young. I feel oddly out of place among my peers. Am I denying that I’m of age? Am I a wanna be? Seems like I’m always out of step with the world. I’m the sore thumb that sticks out.

Yes, I guess I do want to be a wanna be. That’s the reason for taking this class on Buddhism. I want to know how to be happy and content. I want to know how to go about the world, to feel peaceful with myself, to have a purpose, to be kind, generous, to have all those positive attributes and none of the flaws. I know that’s asking too much so I try to quell these desires and quiet my mind.

I wish that I could come to my keyboard a little earlier in the day. My mind would have been sharper. But it seems that I have to live my day before I could find the words. So now I try to do the best I can, to focus and impart the lesson I’ve learned, the jewel of my day.

I’ve noticed lately that I have terrible trouble with focusing. It’s been getting worse and worse. Sometimes I don’t hear or is it that I can’t listen? My mind is always somewhere else out there – even when I’m ‘meditating’. I realized today that I could use this class to bring my mind back – to this moment, to the classroom, to all what the professor is saying. It won’t be easy. I have to make it a practice.

It is late. Time to say good night to day 22 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

 

LET IT BE PRO RE NATA

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I was so delighted by all that sunshine this morning. All the heaviness fell off my body. It helped too that I had a healthy dose of sleep last night – almost nine hours. AND the fact that I’m not that mouse on the tread wheel screaming: I have to fix it! I have to fix it! Yesterday, I gave myself permission to languish prn. Prn comes from the Latin ‘pro re nata’ meaning when necessary.

It’s the nurse in me coming out, though I am no longer a nurse. I’ve hung up my cap and taken off my duty shoes. Old memories are still alive and kicking around somewhere in my body and soul. The memories are ok. Some are good. Some are not but they all can stay. They all contributed to the sum total of who I am today. It is time to let go of the duty part though. It is always the right thing to help one another if I can. It is not my duty to fix anything, anyone or even myself. Just listen and let be. I have to knock the duty part off and have a happy retirement like my cake says.

It’s taken me a frigging long time to arrive here – 6 years post retirement. I’m not complaining. I’m marvelling. It’s been such an interesting journey. I’m feeling the lightness and weightlessness after dropping some self-taken burdens. What a dork! I could kick myself around the block but I won’t. I know we all have moments like these. We don’t know what we don’t know. We will when we’re ready.

Happy Thursday. Now I have to take Sheba around a few blocks, a happy self-imposed duty.