motto

DAY 5 UBC – STUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY

Stumbling Towards Ecstasy

A hundred tulip bulbs later, I’m feeling a little bushed. I still have 10 lily bulbs to contend with. They will wait till tomorrow. I will have to remember all this next fall so I won’t have a repeat. In all likelihood I will have forgotten it all by spring. When I see the parade of beautiful tulips in bloom, I will say: I want to get more. And I will gladly do it all over again. As encouragement, a young lady with flaming red hair and wide smile, cycling past on the sidewalk called out. “I love your yard!”

She has ridden by before in the spring when the tulips were in bloom. And she called out just as enthusiastically. It was music to my ears. It brought so much pleasure to my whole being. It reminds me to do the same for others. If I/you see something you appreciate, we should let the person know. It doesn’t cost anything and it could do so much for the other person. Be generous. Be kind. Otherwise be silent. There, that’s another motto.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no Mother Theresa. I’m struggling with it all. I complain and bitch about people. I find faults. I’m judgemental, too. I am ashame. I know better. Yet I still stumble and falter. Alas, I’m too human. Sometimes I cannot overcome. I cannot bite my tongue. After, I try not to beat up on myself too much. I already feel the shame and regret. And so I take a moment to let that feeling sink in, to remember it for the future reference. And maybe then I will have fewer and fewer stumbles.

Day 2 Ultimate Blog Challenge – The Pleasure of Showing up

Oct 2/2020

The Pleasure of Showing Up

So here it is, the 2nd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m eager to start my day. I’m ready to put the pedal to the metal and wham! I’m faced with an obstacle, a huge stumbling block. WordPress has changed – with no instructions. Egad! Life is like that. This is art imitating life. I best just get on with it and tap. I’m here. Let me enjoy the experience of trial and error. It’s what I’m good at – tapping without instructions.

I’m a little disconcerted at the moment. It might take me a little to get this post together. I’m faced with a big blank page without all those gizzmo. There are no sidebars. It’s like swimming in the ocean. No edge of the pool to hang on to in case of drowning. But I’ve uploaded a cover photo. I like it. I can write on it. I can move it to left, right or middle. So far I haven’t figured out how to resize it. No matter. It looks good. I can go like this for the whole month. And sometimes the things you need just pop out at you in the moment. I’ve just found where the word count is clicking on the i with a circle around it. Life can be fun and informative if you show up.

I have this motto: No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. I borrowed it from Regina Brett. It’s a pretty good one and she is a pretty neat lady. Wow, I found how to add a link on this new WordPress thing-a-ma-jig! Now if I can figure out how to add tags, everything else would be a bonus. But carrying on, showing up is a big thing. Many times I’ve been present in body but not mind. I’m sure I’ve missed many moments but I’m not going to cry over spilt milk. Let me start from this moment, to be in the moment and appreciate what I have.

I love my early morning moments when the rest of the world is still asleep. I see my world through a clearer lens. The other morning I saw and felt the pleasure of my surroundings. I saw the sunlight playing on the wall and floor. I could see from my place in the sunroom – the dining room and all the way to the livingroom. I was fully present in the moment. It felt magical.

I think I have had enough fun for now. It is very cool, this new WordPress. I’ve discovered how to resize photos and where to add tags. I better quit while I’m ahead. I’ll be back for more fun tomorrow.

THIS DAY

I was sleepy as soon as I woke up this morning. I was hungry right after breakfast. I think my body is getting ready for winter. If I was a bear, I would look for a hollow log to sleep in. Since I’m not, I have to find ways of functioning while sleeping on my feet. I could be a one woman band and call myself The Sleepy Head.

How did I do today? I tried not to sit too long at any one time. It is torture to get up again then. I did the hard stuff first – in the morning. After everything is said and done, the hard stuff was not so tough. I made 3 quarts of tomato sauce. The thing to do is not think. Just do, one step after another until fait accompli. Then I wonder: What was the hard all about? The sauce is in the freezer and everything cleaned and put away.

It is good for me to keep up with my routine, to keep up with tapping on the keyboard, painting my little index cards and walking Sheba. They help me stay on track, keep my eyes open and my spirits up. Aside from drowsiness, wanting to curl up on the couch with my quilt and closing my eyes, I feel fine. It helps to have sunny days. Even so, I struggled to keep going. I would have rather sat on the deck and study my toes than walk Sheba. But no matter what, I always rise to the occasion. I had to push not to cut our walk short. Just one more block was how I egged myself on. It was a lovely afternoon as we trudged leisurely among autumn’s golden glory.

So don’t think. Put one foot in front of the other. It’s a good motto. It works. I will use whatever works. Measurable results are what matters. I have 3 jars of tomato sauce in the freezer. I’ve painted, walked Sheba and my dining table is still clear or will be in a minute. What more can I ask for this day? It is enough.

 

THE DAY AFTER MY YEAR

IMG_8234The day after my year of doing different I am feeling quite crossed and unpleasant. I feel ugly meanness and not niceness oozing out of me. I decide that I would try to go into quietness and sit with it for awhile. Maybe I can befriend the feeling and see where it goes. I will try the newness of not fixing. It will be difficult, for I’m the fix-myself queen.

The tap tap on the keyboard has a soothing rhythm. I’m feeling and listening to the sound. It reminds me of Rhythm of the Falling Rain.

 

I hear the opening bar of thunder, then the cascading falling of the rain, the melody and simple lyrics. It’s pretty, it’s lovely. My body moves to the rhythm. My lips mouth the words. I am not stirring up more uglies in me.

The wrinkles in my mind are ironed out, the uglies and meanness recede. Only I had felt them. They are not my outerwear. They are not broadcast over loudspeaker system. I am not what I feel. I do not have to repent and do 50 hours of community work. I am saved from myself by myself. Hallelujah!

What I know for sure is the earth is round. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. It will do so every day unless we screw up and self destruct. What goes up must come down. I am not unique. Therefore I am not alone in my feelings. There are good habits and then there are bad habits. What I know for sure is I’ve strengthened my good ones during the 365 days of doing different. No matter how I feel, I get up, dress up and show up. It is a very good motto. Work it!