Day 5 in a year of…

Posted on July 27, 2016 by hafong

It it almost 4 pm again. Day 5. 360 days left. I shouldn’t count but one likes to cross/tick things off. I’m not doing well in that department but I am working on it. There will be no baking again today. The floor is good enough from yesterday’s vacuum. One must prioritize or I could be circling and circling like a gerbil in a cage.

What I like to do right now is lay on the couch with a book or just nap. Serves me right for lunching on a burger, fries and root beer. The root beer is what did me in. All that sugar. It was good after an outing with Sheba at the dog park. It was cool, sweet and went down nice. Now I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

I did sort my paper piles, called City Hall about the light bill. Have you heard of anyone eager to get their light bill? Well, I am – excited to see the first bill on solar electricity. I might have to wait another day or two. I can wait. Practicing patience. Damn hard! I better put that down on my list.

The insurance company was next on the list. Don’t you just hate that time every year when it comes for renewal? Ugly, ugly! Goes up every year. The agent was friendly and understanding. We had a chuckle or two before getting down to business. I’m her first client with solar panels. They are not on her list. She will call me back after she makes some phone calls.

I think I did pretty well considering I was not positively positive in the morning. I got up anyways, dressed up, made up and showed up. Thank God for people like Regina Brett for their sunshiny outlooks and mantras. I didn’t put on earrings though. Couldn’t find the perfect ones. When I did, my right earlobe wouldn’t cooperated.

Life can be hard sometimes. You have all these intentions. BUT habits and wounds go deep. They have their knives down to the hilt in you. They don’t like letting go. I battle every day to do/react different. So every day I will get up and put makeup on. Every day I will stand naked in front of the mirror and say, I love you. That would be a selfie. LOL I’m more comfortable in shades or doing my feet. Somehow, feet are not as vulnerable.

Enough mumbling for today. Tomorrow is another new beginning, another new page. What is on your page today?

A SPARK IN THE DARK

Posted on March 27, 2016 by hafong

I HAD so many good intentions of doing this morning. It’s like that every morning. And no surprise, the day is gone and so are my intentions. Not that I’ve been sitting on my ass all day. I always feel this sense of procrastination. It feels as if I’m waiting for disaster to hit but I’m a deer in headlights – unable to move. I’m at a standstill. This is the usual place where the desire for another cup of tea is paramount. Instead, let me rise and put my immediate space in order.

~~~~~

It is the next morning, Easter Sunday. I am here with my tea. I’m still that deer in headlights. I am angry with myself. I feel the toxic fumes of those feelings. I don’t like it so I’m releasing my anger valve much like opening the vent on the pressure cooker. Hissss. Take another sip of your tea. Tap a little more on the keyboard. Be a little more mindful. Be a spark in the dark. You are doing the best you can.

I will rise from my discomfort. I will let go of my self judgement. I will sip my tea and tap out the words. I will pass STOP.

2014 – LOOKING FORWARD

Posted on January 3, 2014 by hafong

The mornings are still dark as night and my urge to rise and shine is low. Even so I try to put my head and heart in their right space. It’s 2014, a new year full of blank pages to be filled as I desire. Sure, there are unforseen things and circumstances ahead but it is I who has to set the intentions of where I wish to go.

So let me look forward to 2014 and set my intentions for health, happiness and prosperity. I KNOW that if I have my health, it will lead to the other two. And what better time to renew my intention to practice the 4 Agreements than now?

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

Four seemingly simple statements but they are so powerful. They can set me free. So let me remember and return to them again and again. I am but human and will falter again and again. But I will always do my best.

SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS

Posted on December 20, 2013 by hafong

Sometimes life sings to me. This morning I am hearing John Lennon’s So This is Christmas. I hope it is a good one. I hope the war is over and there will be no fear.

I am choosing to have a good Christmas – full of good cheer. Sometimes it is a matter of intention, no matter where in life we are. What better time of year than now to reset my intention button, polish up my halo and shine this little light of mine.

At the top of my Intention List I have put Generosity. I am talking about generosity of gifting through the heart. I am doing generosity aerobics to exercise and stretch my heart muscles. They protest at times and I have had to quiet their noises. It takes practice and practice but it’s well worth the effort.

So this is Christmas. I am full of gratitude. Another year is almost over and a new one about to begin. I wish you all a very peaceful Christmas and may we all have a good year.

INTENTIONS, HABITS AND DISCIPLINE

Posted on January 2, 2013 by hafong

Today, I’m reading a new book called INTENTIONS, picked out at the library last week. I’m quite pleased with the appropriateness of the title for this time of the year. It is quite an interesting little book that I couldn’t put it down without finding out the outcome. And so, as usual, I skipped to the end. And now, I am reading the middle.

Well, I had set no intentions on changing my reading habits and I am still enjoying the story. I am also reading another book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. I am still reading it in the order, page by page. It is a very interesting account of how habits function, how they can make or break us. I will put the information to good use. I will be my own guinea pig. And we will see if I have enough discipline to follow through and adopt new, healthier habits.

So far, so good! I was able to put down my book and sit at this keyboard. It would have been so easy to stay curled under my quilt and just read. I’m still fighting my sinusitis. My energy comes and goes and I have to fight inertia constantly. It would be heavenly if I didn’t have to do anything ever again!

As you can see, I am feeling a little discouraged so that I have to set my intentions early in the day on what I MUST do. The one thing that is a must is to keep the floors reasonably free of Sheba’s dog hair. So after breakfast, she gets a rawhide chew while I brush her tail, undersides and butt. Then, it’s out with the vacuum. I’m making progress. It’s not so hard to get on it. It’s becoming a habit. Soon I will be able to do it without thinking and fighting it.

I haven’t done much besides that, though I did load up the dishwasher and push the start button. I was going to take Sheba to the park, but my body wouldn’t comply. So when Rod offered to take her out, I let him. Always accept help when it comes your way. And having accomplished my most important intention, I feel a sense of success.

HURRAY FOR ME! Tomorrow is another day, another new beginning.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Posted on January 1, 2013 by hafong

Farewell to 2012! You have been generous and kind to me. It has been a year of adventures and rewards. Thank you. I am grateful for all that have come my way.

Hello 2013. I am ready for you. Today is a new day, a new year. Each moment is a gift and each day is to be blessed with my intentions and attention. Waste not in the dramas though all the world is a stage. Let me write a script worthy of me and let me not dwell in the past nor daydream about the future. Let me live in this moment of my life.

A TOAST! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ONE THING MORE

Posted on December 29, 2012 by hafong

I am sitting here, wrapped in my cashmere sweater for its warmth and softness. I’ve made a pot of coffee for energy. I’m pushing myself forward with my new mantra: ONE THING MORE. Just do one thing more. If I was to leave myself to my natural state, I would probably be a couch potato for the whole wide winter. I would have enough sprouts from my ‘eyes’ to be planted by spring.

So I fight my natural state. If I give in to my fatigue, I would get super depressed and I would not get over my cold, flu, my sinus thing, whatever it is that I get. I push myself ever so gently, but firmly and lovingly forward. Do one thing. Then do one more. When it is just one thing, it is not so overwhelming. My one thing this morning was getting rid of Sheba’s hair. It was everywhere. Nothing makes me feel worse than seeing all that.

The one thing for this afternoon was going for our walk. It felt like a long difficult process just getting out the door. But we did it, one block at a time until all the blocks were done. Going was easier. Coming back was challenging. My energy was depleted and I had trouble putting one foot in front of the other.

But here I am! I am having trouble with putting one word after another. But somehow it happens. A person just have to have the intention and try. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just do it.

Now, I am going on to the next one thing more.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

Posted on November 3, 2012 by hafong

Sometimes I am slow to rouse, but lately I’ve been listening more closely and I am hearing those wake up calls.

They are telling me that this is enough. I am enough in this moment. I am good enough, kind enough, generous enough. They are saying stop with the self criticism, the self abuse, the self hatred.

When I hear the call, I PAUSE. I listen to myself. What is my intention? I stop being stuck in my deadbeat rut of habitual thoughts. I breathe….. knowing that the bell is tolling for me.

BUSTING OUT OF MY WET PAPER BAG

Posted on October 31, 2012 by hafong

Today is one of those chilly, grey late autumn days in Saskatchewan. It is the kind of weather that I wouldn’t be able to find my way out of a wet paper bag, never mind traveling to the other side of the world, if I didn’t set my mind to it. Hmmm, I think I just got a light bulb moment! I need to keep on setting my intentions – programing myself to do.

Sometimes I find the greyness seeping into my brain. Sometimes, often it is difficult to get new ideas, do anything new. You get into this rut of doing the same thing, eating the same meals, over and over. You are so tire of it, but still CAN’T change. Well, darn it all, there must be a way!

So this morning, I cooked a pot of steel cut oats and quinoa. I threw in some diced ham. It simmered on top of the stove while I read my mail and listened to Tara Brach and her wise and humorous Buddhist teachings. It was very comforting and soothing way to start the day. I was feeding my body and my soul.

As I made tea, my body said it needed a little more than just a bowl of porridge. I needed another taste, another texture. I cooked a soft-boiled egg. It was PERFECT. There was no denying it. It was so soft and smooth and I was just delighted by it. I am sure my endorphins got a huge kick start.

I am accounting and remembering, the greyness, my moods, my difficult spots, the things I do. I am remembering the feelings and sensations of what works to bring me back to the center of the earth.

onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

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