A SPARK IN THE DARK

IMG_1686I HAD so many good intentions of doing this morning.  It’s like that every morning.  And no surprise, the day is gone and so are my intentions.  Not that I’ve been sitting on my ass all day. I always feel this sense of procrastination.  It feels as if I’m waiting for disaster to hit but I’m a deer in headlights – unable to move.  I’m at a standstill.  This is the usual place where the desire for another cup of tea is paramount.  Instead, let me rise and put my immediate space in order.

~~~~~

IMG_4681It is the next morning, Easter Sunday.  I am here with my tea.  I’m still that deer in headlights.  I am angry with myself.  I feel the toxic fumes of those feelings.  I don’t like it so I’m releasing my anger valve much like opening the vent on the pressure cooker. Hissss.  Take another sip of your tea.  Tap a little more on the keyboard.  Be a little more mindful. Be a spark in the dark. You are doing the best you can.

I will rise from my discomfort.  I will let go of my self judgement.  I will sip my tea and tap out the words.  I will pass STOP.

 

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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4 Responses to A SPARK IN THE DARK

  1. kcarr642 says:

    I really enjoyed reading this. It had an excellent flow. I felt it was really relatable because I sometimes can’t write because of my anxiety problem. Good luck passing stop!

  2. Lux G. says:

    I hope you feel better now. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
    Enjoy the rest of the week!

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