Tag Archives: goals

FOR THE MONTH OF OCTOBER

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October 1, another new day, another new month. I’ve been remiss in showing up here in this, my writing space. Hopefully I can show up daily for the month of October to mutter, sigh and bitch about the weather and whatnot. This month I’m writing for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My rules  are always the same for this challenge and space. They are:

  1. To show up every day.
  2. Truthful and respectful.
  3. Hopeful and helpful.

I’ve had a difficult and challenging September dealing with one of my neighbours. I’ve always had a difficult time all the years she’s lived next to me. But I realized this time that she has given me much insight into myself and human relations. She has taught me many valuable lessons about life and what is important and what is not. It is strange but I am grateful to her for all the miseries coming from her direction. Every cloud does have a silver lining.

For October, I hope to capture the silver linings of those clouds. The sky is cloudy today but my world is lit by the gold and oranges of the autumn leaves. There is much wrong and meanness in the world. There is also much right and kindness in the world. The ying and the yang. I like to concentrate and share the love and kindness and what is right out there. It’s a worthy goal.

 

BETTER SOONER THAN LATER

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July 23, 9 more days to the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Am I counting? Not really. I do enjoy coming to this space but sometimes life gets in the way. It’s easier if I don’t dawdle. I have this illusion that I have great things to say. They are all in my head, ready to come out. It wouldn’t take much time. Just minutes to write if I get to them right away.  I don’t, of course. I thought they were at my bidding. All those great ideas and conversations in the head are as nebulous and vaporous as mist. They are gone by the time I sit down at the keyboard. I struggle to get each word and idea back.

Today I’m trying to do better, showing up sooner rather than later.My head is clearer and I have more energy earlier in the day. I want this challenge to work for me. What are my goals to start with? What are they now? I think I have a bit of ADHD. If I don’t lay it out to see/read, I’m apt to go around and around in circles. I have been doing that. I’m a stuck record. I play the same song and dance over and over. I have to stop stuttering. I want to go past GO. But to repeat, my goals to start with are having the discipline of committing to:

  • getting up, dressing up and showing up here every day
  • to be truthful, respectful and hopeful in this space
  • following through goals/projects from beginning to end
  • being more mindful and in the present moment

once a week breakfast and lunch

As the month evolved, a few more goals developed. I wanted to lose some weight to feel and look better. I despise double chins and overhanging bellies. I made some small changes in my meals and the way I ate. I cut out the toast in my breakfast. I added a bit of kimchi as a condiment to my meals. I chew and taste my food. As a result, I discovered that I’m really not as hungry as I thought. My portions got smaller, my snacks fewer. I still have them. Giving up and depriving myself have never worked for me. Now that raspberries are in season I have them with ice cream in the evening. They are our very own raspberries and they’re very prolific. What can I do?

To sum up, I am fulfilling most of my goals. I have been here every day, being truthful, respectful and ever hopeful. Am I finishing my projects? Yes, mostly. I’m also doing another challenge of creating an index card art daily from June1 – July 31. I’m a couple of days behind but I will finish. I’m being mindful to help me through these and other life challenges. I spend 20-30 minutes each morning in silence to prepare for the day.

I am feeling the effects of my efforts this month. I feel better mentally and physically. I feel stronger, with more stamina. The last two days seem seamless, one thing flowing into another. I did not have to struggle with anything. It’s a good note to end on. It is late. I need some time to chill before bed.

 

MY GPS

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It’s wise of me to set up goals and challenges. My dyslexic brain need specific guidelines and time frames. In January I did Gentle January with Susannah Conway and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I was able to fulfill both of them except for two days. I still have the 365 Somethings 2018 which is a year long project. To keep myself in line and on track, I’ve set up goals for the month of February. I’m apt to meander and get lost without a GPS.

February is heart month. It is my hearth month, a time to foster feel good stuff.

  • It is the time to curl up with a good romance, murder mystery, adventure, whatever.
  • There’s the knitting of the scarf and the cross stitch of Jesus I want to complete.
  • My Bernina sewing machine waits for me to master it. I’ve reviewed some videos this morning and feeling more confident than yesterday.
  • Seeding bedding plants. It is time for the petunias. It takes a long time to bring them to bloom.

I think my to-do list is long enough for this month. I am still showing up here daily to tap out my joy and grumpies. This is my best GPS, showing my trial runs and test results. It points a better route for me so that I’m not circling the wagon the whole night long and never making camp. I have to run now and hang up the wash. The fur baby is also calling for attention. It’s a short chat today. Keep well.

 

WORDS AND RITUALS

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The roast is in the oven. Sheba and I have had our walk. She is fed and watered. The sun is still shining. Life is good again. I made it to my aerobics class this morning. It’s good not to feel like a mean person or a person with mean thoughts. My face is softer, less wrinkly and menacing. Smiles come without coaxing. I’m still humming, Heaven, I’m in heaven. It is one of the reasons why I write – to document these moments when the heavens shift whichever way it does. It is a testament of my moods, a referrel learning center to cast out shadows and doubts.

Memory can be tricky when I am not feeling my best. I can look back on my dated pages and see that my words and thoughts are not mean, dark or full of despair. They are my thoughts in words trying out different problem solving strategies. I document my light bulb moments and things that weigh on me. It’s a good thing so I shall carry on my daily ritual when possible.  How do you problem solve? What rituals do you have?

I’m getting to know myself well now through my writing. I do not always meet my goal of 1000 words a day. In fact I haven’t even done it once! It’s been 5 years and I’m still reaching. It’s what happens in the beginning of a new venture. I got excited and set a high goal. It is not a bad thing because it is reasonable, within reach. You wouldn’t want to set a low goal, would you? Where would be the challenge? I’m still aiming for that 1,000 words. But they have to be worthy for the ideas they represent and not for the word count.

This is all I have today. Will reach again tomorrow.

 

THE UNSPEAKABLES

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The phone rings. It is Annie following up on how my mother is doing. She works for A Home for Mom. In March I had been looking at Preston Park assisted living as options for my parents. My mom’s health had taken a sharp turn. It was time to think of new realities. Preston Park seemed to be perfect. It was in their and our neighbourhood. I’m sure I did 3 tours of both Preston Park 1 and 2. They both have excellent social programs, attractive physical space, and friendly staff and environment. It was pricey but I felt it was affordable and worth it.

The trouble was I was the only one in the family who was interested. But it was helpful going through the process. I can rest easier knowing that I tried, thought of options and investigated. Still I welcomed Annie’s follow-up call. Someone else cares and is showing interest in helping even though it is part of her job. I know it is our human nature to run away from knowing that our parents are declining. It is the other unspeakable besides dying. I would run, too if I could but I am the oldest. I am retired. I don’t have children. Those things seem to qualify me for many things exempt to those married, with children and jobs.

Annie is glad to hear my mother is doing better, stronger and steadier on her feet. She and my father are still able to stay in their own home. I have arranged for snow shovelling service for them through The Crocus Co-op and lawn mowing through Saskatoon Services for Seniors. So far, so good. Saskatoon Senior Services offers homemaking and housekeeping services, too. My mother feels she can still do those and enjoy doing them. My father can still drive so they can get out to their neighbourhood mall, shop for their groceries and see friends.

I know that December with Christmas is at the doorstep. I will be very happy to have a quiet boring holiday season and winter. Peace and contentment are the gifts I cherish the most. Health and creativity are my on going goals. The snow may fall and the wind may blow. If I have a roof over my head and the furnace to keep me warm, I shall be happy. There’s bread to be baked, soup to be made, all that yarn to knit, quilts to sew and a whole slew of art classes to watch and do.

 

I’m not a naturally enthusiastic or happy person. I don’t wake up with a song in my heart and dance on my feet. It’s more of a grumble in my throat and a stumble out of bed. Enthusiasm and joy comes slowly as the day unfolds. I didn’t relish heading out in the dark of this morning to swim. It was the memory of past great swims that got me going. Then the rest was easy. The warmth of the water, my weightlessness, the movement of my limbs – the flow. From experience I know that if I do not make the effort to rise above my nature, I would have less of everything – joy, health, etc.

CEMENTING WITH HENRY MILLER

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It’s a wintery snow falling on cedars kind of a day.  It’s a good day to snuggle up with a hot cuppa. If only Sheba would cooperate, be quiet and snuggle on her bed. No such luck, of course. Come any time after 2 pm, she’s a fussing for food and her walk. It’s early but she likes to push the clock. I’m giving her the silent treatment. So far, so good. Keep my fingers and toes crossed. It’s hard to type that way but…

It’s easy to let a few days and my routine go. Then it gets tricky to get back on track. I’m hoping the feel and rhythm of the keys will bring my flow of thoughts and words back. If not, then I will have to WORK like Henry Miller suggests. Good advice from a great writer. I like his 11 commandments:

  1. Work on one thing at a time until finished.
  2. Start no more new books, add no more new material to ‘Black Spring.’
  3. Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.
  4. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!
  5. When you can’t create you can work.
  6. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers.
  7. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.
  8. Don’t be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only.
  9. Discard the Program when you feel like it—but go back to it next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude.
  10. Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing.
  11. Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards.

Number 10 is easy. I’m not writing or even thinking about writing a book. I’ve given up on NaNoWriMo after a few tries. Writing 50,000 words in 30 days mean I would have to cough up 1700 words a day. I’m a snapshot and punchy lines girl. I have trouble writing a 500 word post. Forget 1700 words! I can revamp and my goal for 500 words/day. See how that goes. Aim a little higher.

Good luck to me. I didn’t make 500 words today, not even with Henry Miller’s help. I’m doing Number 6 though – cementing a little every day. Better luck tomorrow.

MATHEMATICS, EINSTEIN AND WAYNE DYER

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It’s another morning, another day. I’ve gotten up, dressed up in my day clothes and have I am. The mornings are still very dark at 7. There’s snow on the ground, on the spruce and on my lettuce bed. The buddhas sit unperturbed beneath their canopy. Their placidness amid all weathers is admirable. It’s what I strive for each day. I don’t always succeed but seeing them each time is a reminder. I try again and again.

Each day I get a new opportunity to try/do at what I yearn and have yet not achieved. How awesome is that? I need not dwell in the pit of self-pity and failure. Each day I can try something new, go down a different path. That’s what I have to remember. There is no point in keep doing the same thing, expecting different results. That’s wrong mathematics or insanity as Einstein and Dr. Phil would say.

I am a fan of quotes. They contain so much wisdom and truth in a sentence or two. Einstein said: “Nothing happens until something moves.” Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” I’ve been putting these quotes into practice over the last year. Change is slow as it is difficult to be awake and conscious. I’ve been mesmerized and swept along the routine of everyday life. Sometimes I forget to stop and smell the flowers or the coffee though I love that quote. I’m trying again – stopping to notice, to smell, to document.

Now I have to move and do something else.

 

 

OH, HAPPY DAY HABITS

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Oh happy day! I slept last night, not as well as I wished but I was not tossing and turning. The sun is shining. The neighbour’s sunflowers are smiling over the fence. It’s 9 am. The day is before me to do as I please. There is nothing hanging over my head. No deadlines. No must do’s. Nothing. But that does not mean that I should just lull the day away. There are certain habits and routines to follow for a healthy life.

I have gotten up, dressed up and showed up, setting my intentions and goals for the day. I am one who does well with rather than without a program. I like to feel and hear the tap, tap of my keyboard. I like to see the letters and words march across my screen. It makes it real for me, this sitting here, talking to myself and you if you are listening. It’s a great compliment to me if you are.

What’s my plan for the day? First, my qigong routine to loosen and limber up. My shoulders are feeling it from my swim yesterday. Then onward to give the house a quick sweep of Sheba’s hair, harvest the grapes and clean them to make fruit rolls. Those are the important items for today. I’ve been doing my little art projects for awhile now. It’s a habit. I can fit them in easily. They are my dessert of the day.

BE THE CHANGE – Day 69 in a year of…

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Day 69, September 29, 2016 @9:17

img_7828Some mornings are harder than others.  This is one of them. I’m here. I’m prepared to sit and stay.  I’ve made my cup of tea before hand.  I will not have that excuse to flee.  I can sit, stay and sip through the discomforts.  I’m beginning to understand this phenomenon of procrastination – at least for me.  My brain is lazy.  It wants to do the same old, same old. It’s easier to stay in well travelled ruts.  It does not want new pathways.  It does not want a new circuitry.  I  DO.  I’m fighting my brain right now to stay awake.  Sleepiness is another way for it to flee.

img_7831The sun just came out to lend me a hand.  Thank you, Mr. Sun!  I need a little help today.  My tea is done but I’m not finished here.  What do I have to say? What do I want to say?  The going is tough. I feel like a gerbil on a treadmill. I’m moving but not advancing. My great deduction today is that if I want changes, I must be the change.  I must be the instrument.  I must DO.  I must make goals and lists.  Writing them down is concrete.  I cannot rely on goals and lists in my head.  It makes it easier to forget and disregard.

img_7821I made a move yesterday to reward myself $1 for showing up each day.  It’s tangible.  It’s working.  I will have $2 in my teapot today. I am working on making my basement a nice living space.  I will clean/clear a small area each day. I threw out 2 old humidifiers and a CD rack yesterday. I worked a little on the sweater I started this summer.  The secret I believe is starting and working small but steady.  Do not lose heart.

What is your goal today?

 

 

GETTING TO KNOW ME

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Sundays can be good for relaxing and letting go.  Today is one of those days.  Life and the snow are melting around me – in January.  I’m still unravelling.  Soon I will come to the end of the spool.  I wonder if I will bounce back and up like a yoyo.

I’m at this part of Susannah Conway’s Unravelling the Year Ahead:

Fast-forward to December 2015. You are sitting in a café, musing over the last 12 months. Where do you want to be…

IMG_0067… in your head? (work, dreams, goals)

… in your heart? (relationships, family, friends)

… in your physical world? (home, health, hobbies)

… in your soul? (beliefs, practices, self-love)

These are hard questions. I love the thought of sitting in a cafe with a hot cup of Chai – in silence and solitude.  Do I know myself to answer these questions?  It’s worth the time.  I owe it to myself to take time getting to know me.

Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like you
Getting to hope you like me

Getting to know you
Putting it my way
But nicely
You are precisely
My cup of tea

The King And I – Getting To Know You Lyrics | MetroLyrics

So I’m off to get acquainted.  Till next time, ta ta for now.