It’s another morning, another day. I’ve gotten up, dressed up in my day clothes and have I am. The mornings are still very dark at 7. There’s snow on the ground, on the spruce and on my lettuce bed. The buddhas sit unperturbed beneath their canopy. Their placidness amid all weathers is admirable. It’s what I strive for each day. I don’t always succeed but seeing them each time is a reminder. I try again and again.

Each day I get a new opportunity to try/do at what I yearn and have yet not achieved. How awesome is that? I need not dwell in the pit of self-pity and failure. Each day I can try something new, go down a different path. That’s what I have to remember. There is no point in keep doing the same thing, expecting different results. That’s wrong mathematics or insanity as Einstein and Dr. Phil would say.

I am a fan of quotes. They contain so much wisdom and truth in a sentence or two. Einstein said: “Nothing happens until something moves.” Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” I’ve been putting these quotes into practice over the last year. Change is slow as it is difficult to be awake and conscious. I’ve been mesmerized and swept along the routine of everyday life. Sometimes I forget to stop and smell the flowers or the coffee though I love that quote. I’m trying again – stopping to notice, to smell, to document.

Now I have to move and do something else.



A YEAR IN REVIEW – day 360 in a year of…

Day 360 – July 23, 2017 @9:19 am

IMG_4302It’s been 2 months since I’ve last sat here. I’m fighting the urge to rise and make myself another cup of tea/coffee.  It’s uncomfortable being in this space again, trying to tap, tap out the letters, words, thoughts. The space is bigger, wider. I’m a little lost, sloshing around, trying to find and touch the boundaries. I’m like the little seedlings starting out. They/I like the snugness of a small space. Our roots/limbs to feel the sides and edges. I like to think I’m more pliable though. I can s-t-r-e-t-c-h, reaching for the stars. I can grow. I have grown, haven’t I? There! Now I’ve earned that time out for that cuppa before continuing.

IMG_1969I have my cuppa decaf. Somehow I feel better having something to sip on. It’s better/healthier than a lit cigarette on an ashtray. That’s my old self – a cigarette before/while doing. That’s one way I have grown – physically healthier. I’m leaner and less mean, thanks to my three times a week aerobics class and a swim once a week. The mean part is mostly in my mind. I don’t think I’m a mean person but I always fault myself for not being kinder, for being such a grump and ranting so much. I still have those feelings sometimes. I no longer mind my inability to be ‘kinder’. I’m kinder to myself. I rant because I’m not one for status quo and don’t rock the boat. How can things improve that way? I’ll be like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, waking up to the same day, same tune on the radio every day.

I like to think I’m more conscious, being in the present moment. I like to think I’m more of a responder instead of a reactionary. That was/is my biggest goal. It has so many benefits. I’m not so angry or resentful. I sleep better. I have more creative energy but I have to tell you it is work every minute of the day. I remind myself – ok, don’t take that personally. Don’t fly off the handle. Breathe, observe and respond. It becomes easier with practice. Everything becomes easier and better with practice.

IMG_7885Practice makes for better. It’s a good place to stop. I like challenges. Everything is a challenge to me. And I grumble about the hardness of all that.  But the grumbling is me trying to find that comfort zone, that snugness, the space to breathe in and out and to start again. What I know for sure is that we have to start – again and again, discarding what doesn’t work, keeping the good stuff.


GIVING THANKS – Day 79 in a year of…

Day 79, October 9, 2016 @10:26 am

wewb3750Thanksgiving.  Here I am with my cup of tea and the dog.  There’s much to be thankful for.  Each morning is an opportunity  to do different, to do better. The decision lies in me and no one else in how and what direction I will travel. I am responsible for the results and consequences of my actions.  At least they are from my conscious decisions.  I’m not letting life happen to me.

It’s Sunday, ‘a day of rest’.  I shall sit and linger awhile, sipping all the good stuff that is in my life.  I shall contemplate and muse upon synchronicity – all those whispers that come to me when I am quiet and still.  When I am willing and ready to listen and hear.  I know there is much that I need/want to change.  There’s much I need to question with:  Is that really true?  I recognize those moments that I need to ask.  I recognize those times I’m fighting them.  There’s a stubbornness and a twist in my heart.  No, I don’t want to!  It’s a big signal to ask:  Is that really true?

Recognition is a gift to be thankful for.  If I don’t recognize myself, how can I go forward?  How can I be/do anything?  On this Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for this poem by Derek Walcott.  It says everything that is in my heart at this moment.

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.


It is Day 3 of Kat McNally’s Reverb.  The prompt:  Lady Luna.
When was the last time you stopped to look up at the moon?

What did she have to say to you?

Living in the city, I seldom stop to look up at the moon.  My mind is so preoccupied with thoughts coming at me in continuous live-stream.  It is as if there is no sky and I’ve forgotten how to look up.  There is no need.  There’s street lights.  Why would I look up? Talk about being unconscious!

blood moonHowever, because of social media, I was alerted to the full blood moon in September and witnessed it in all its glory.  She did not really speak to me that night.  I was too busy trying to capture the image on camera.  Too busy trying not to miss the event.  I lost the magic of the moon that night.

IMG_3014I do remember another night of waiting for the moon in August at the lake.  We were sitting around the campfire with neighbours.  The air was cool.  The night dark.  I wrapped the blanket around me and looked up into the sky.  Oh, how vast and deep it was!  The stars twinkled and winked.  The moon had not yet appeared.  But I felt the Universe wrap its arms around me.  They were so warm and comforting.  The fire crackled and flickered. There was no need for human speech.  We all understood one another.  We were with each another.

It got late and we could not wait for the moon.  We walked home as it was not far.  Our neighbours lit our path with headlights from their vehicle.  It was as if we were guided by moonbeams.  Thank you Lady Luna.  Till next time.


27097_321356195886_8251743_nWhat a difference a day makes!

I almost bounced out of bed this morning and if I could whistle, I would have.  And what was that difference?  It really wasn’t the weather, though it was sunny and the temperature was still on the minus side.  There was no wind though.  Maybe that was it.

But perhaps it could be that I reframed how I saw my world.  It was a conscious effort on my part.  It really wasn’t much fun being restless, quirky and anxious like I was.  I wasted energy I could not afford.  But I accepted that which I could not change at the time.  I stored and catalogued my experience for future reference.

I found that tiger and put it in my tank and headed out with Sheba for our walk before 9 am.  The morning sunlight IMG_0625warmed our faces.   The trees stood proud and magnificent, stretching out their bare arms to greet the day. What joy it was to see their naked beauty.  And I am reminded again to change the lens I see through from time to time.  There is beauty all around us – all the time.

Energized and inspired, I took advantage of the space and time I found myself and tended to my yard and garden, one little area at a time.  There was pleasure in each moment, the clearing of leaves and winter’s debris.

The rose bush got pruned, one flower bed cleaned and the garden dug.

IMG_0632The rest of the yard still looks like hell, as my neighbour was fond of saying.  Who cares and whose yard was it anyways?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Sheba thinks it looks just fine.  And that’s what counts!