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Another writing day and I’m sitting empty of thoughts and words. The world is too strange now. Another shooting in the US of A. Another 18 year old shooting his grandmother and then went on a rampage at an elementary school. He killed 19 students, aged 9 and 10 and 2 teachers. Who can make sense of this? And how can you grasp that there is no talk of changing gun control laws by those who can? Are guns more important than lives of children and teachers?

Well, that’s my little rant. I got it out of my system. These shootings are frequent repeaters, aren’t they? Should we be getting used to them now since nothing changes no matter how horrific they are? It is very strange to me. And strange, too, how we are riveted by the dramas of the rich and famous, myself included. I am at this moment talking about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. I am not for one or the other. I do think Johnny Depp looks a bit scary. I wonder why we are so fascinated. Having seen this seamy side of their lives, I do not envy their fame or money at all. Darn! FB has distracted me again with a scandal about Bob Hope and his mistress, Doris Day. Bob Hope and Doris Day. For christ sake! I will practice restraint and read it later.

So now what? How shall I move around in this strange world of ours? There’s nothing to do but carry on, not as usual but with more awareness and care. Everything we do matters. Every minute counts. I shall try not to fritter my time, my attention and my energy away in despair or indifference. If I try my best of the moment, that’s all I can ask of myself. My best today was getting up, dressing up and showing up for my exercise class, shopping for groceries and doing some gardening. I planted a few cabbages at the community garden and some squash at home. I still have alot to plant but that’s enought for today. Now, I am showing up here with a few words and thoughts to end my day.


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I hate it when my mind is stuck in overthoughts. I bet you’re thinking, why don’t you stop but it is not that easy to get my mind out of my head. I know. I’m whining again but I’m leaving it just on the page. You don’t have to listen/read. It helps me to splash it out and not let things swirl around in my head. It can be very exhausting. It takes all my energy and I get nothing done. I haven’t been meditating the last while. Let this time here be my morning meditation.

The morning has progressed into afternoon. My overthinking would not let the words flow. I moved on to the next best thing – doing my draw/watercolour for #the100dayproject. It worked. My pen and paint brush flowed effortlessly. I felt soothed and smoothed with a painting to show. When one thing doesn’t work, don’t stay stuck. Don’t try think it out, move on and try something different.

Now if only I can heed my own advice. Habits are hard to overcome. I must persevere and not give up because of a few failings. I must adopt the 1000 hour rule of practicing a new activity till it becomes a habit. Life is easier with good habits in tow. Life would be easier, too, if I don’t overthink and overdo. When I find myself pursuing everything and anything, to get to the bottom of things, to understand everything, anything and everyone…. it’s time to STOP. There’s nothing to figure out, to understand. There’s no answer to the whys of my thoughts.


Wednesday morning coming down. It’s another cool May day. I wonder if our planet is trying to reset and right itself now that we humans have slowed down the flying and driving and the manufacturing. I hope we can and will return to greener pastures. Remember when stores were opened from 9 am to 6 pm? Wednesday they were opened only in the morning. Thursday was late night shopping till 9 pm. Sundays were closed. There was time and opportunity to savour Sunday suppers and our lives instead of the shop till you drop mentality.

I’m old enough to have those memories. Now there is the time and quiet to reflect back to those times. There’s no reason why I can’t put back those things that were good and meaningful for me. If we all do that, we can recreate a more sustainable life for ourselves and the planet. Maybe the reason we are where we are today is because our ways are no longer sustainable. Why do we have to have more, bigger and faster? Individually it can lead to burnout. Collectively we are burnt out and locked down.

This is where I am now, deciding how to live, how to proceed. Do I feel any desires or passions? Right in this moment, I do not.  But I do not want to stay in this feeling. I have the desire to have a meaningful life. I worked hard today at doing the hard to do things, those things that I keep at bay for days and days. Some of them are not big or important at all. Things such as clipping my finger and toe nails. But they do add to my comfort. There’s no understanding why it was such a big chore. It’s done along with setting up payment for my property tax. I had a good go at my income tax. I just need to check it over and get all the receipts in order.

It is early evening. I’m winding down. I know mornings are my best times. Come after lunch, I slowly wind down like a dying EverReady battery. Now, I’m pooped and not much in my head. I don’t have much left in me. I best call it the end. I’ll try for better tomorrow.



NaBloPoMo_0614_298x255_prompts_0Wednesday, June 4, 2014 
Have you ever deleted a comment? What would make you delete a comment?

I have not ever deleted a comment from my blog. No wait, I have – spams, comments that have nothing to do with my posts.  That answers the second question, doesn’t it?  I would delete spams and hateful, rude, attacking, etc. comments.

And why not?  There’s no discussion in those kinds of comments. They do not gender connection or helping each other out.  They do not build positive outcome.  There!  Now let’s get on with the rest of the day.

IMG_5692We had a beautiful bike ride with Sheba in tow this morning. The streets were peaceful and quiet. The sky was overcast but the sun came out as we were riding out. There’s something about the early mornings that calm your soul.

I have finished planting the last of my tomatoes and onions.  I am feeling happy with my gardening efforts.  The tomatoes are looking great.  The Sunberris blooming.  Will I be baking Sunberry pies this year?  The onions, radishes, lettuce, kale and kohlrabi are all showing up.  How splendid they look!

IMG_0854I got caught in the afternoon rain.  Once I was wet, there was no need to hurry any more.  I was past the point of “keeping dry”.  The only dry part was my head, thanks to my hat.  I hung it on my new shoe rack on the deck, along with my pants.  No, I did not have my umbrella with me.

But all is well.  The rain is gone and the sun is shining brightly on this mixed bag of a Wednesday.